March 30, 2004
New Coaster
Universal Studios Florida is putting in a new themed roller coaster. The official title is "Revenge of the Mummy - The Ride".
Okay, it's not the most inspired name. But I found some of the concept art on the web, and I'm now convinced that this is going to be one scary attraction. Click the extended entry to see what I mean.
Is this thing gonna be freaky, or what?
March 29, 2004
I'm going nuts
Christ, this sucks. My brain is doing its damndest to sabotage me. I keep thinking of things like this
and this
and this
It's like I'm trapped in Willy Wonka's factory, but I'm not allowed to eat anything.
Yes, I am Augustus Gloop. Sigh.
I've avoided temptation though. I came within an inch or two of giving in. During my lunch hour, I went into a convenience store and walked up and down the candy aisle, having an argument with myself over whether or not to get something.
This sounds so incredibly lame, but food has this awful power. It's my drug of choice, and that's frightening. As I write this, I'm in the midst of a full-blown obsession about Fudge Stripe cookies and Hershey bars.
Talk about a fucking sweet tooth.
To be fair, I haven't given up such things entirely. In context and in moderation, I allow myself to have such things. It's not an out-and-out denial. If it were, I would have failed already. But the sweet tooth needs to be kept in check.
March 28, 2004
Open the floodgates
The muse has struck.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm suddenly actually posting. It's like my brain unfroze. What the hell happened?
Maybe it was all the pop I'm not drinking anymore.
Death by Doughnuts
Steve's trying to kill me.
I swear, this is the stuff that my dieting nightmares are made of. Oh for a couple of these and a glass of milk...
Same Sex Marriage
Up to now, I've stayed out of the debate. There's just too much fire and vitriol on both sides of the issue. It's not really a debate anymore, it's more like a screaming tantrum on both sides. And who needs that?
But something has happened to make me re-evaluate that decision. There's a document being bantered around, a document that has a direct impact on the sanctity of marriage, and on the state of Same Sex Relationships.
Here is that document. I think it'll have the same effect on you that it did on me...
Froot Pants Lion
I'm becoming a big fan of Froot Pants Lion. I don't know whether it's the pants, or the eyes.
Maybe it's the non-linear storyline. Nah, it's gotta be the pants.
Today's weigh-in
Starting weight on March 22, 2004
416 pounds
Today's weight on March 28, 2004
413 pounds
Total weight loss to date
3 pounds
It's water weight, but I'll take it. Three down, nearly two hundred to go. (Actually my immediate goal is 399, but let's be honest. I need to be closer to 200 than to 300.)
Pork
It's what's for dinner.
Or was, in this case. I made a nice pork loin, on a bed of potatoes and carrots. I LOVE roasted carrots. They go all soft in the middle, and get chewy on the outside. They take on an earthy tone, mixed with a dark sweetness. Heavenly.
And the potatoes were amazing. So was the pork, for that matter. Mmmmm, mmmm! I fixed a salad for Fred, a simple boston lettuce salad with green peppers, and an oil & orange juice dressing. He nearly went through the ceiling with joy.
Like I am to chili, he is to salads.
We're both satisfied, but also NOT stuffed.
Oh, and I didn't have a salad. Know why? BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THEM. There, I said it. Salad: bleah.
March 24, 2004
Hiccups
Hiccups for the second time today. Blah!
Headache still here as well. Must take Naproxen and go to bed.
Cranky! Want cake and ice cream!
Ow.
Headache today. Caffeine withdrawal, due to lack of pop. Annoyed. Irritable. Determined.
We've had an instance of Diabetes pop up in the family. An instance that's close enough in the tree for me to go "whoa, wait a minute here," and start thinking seriously about my health.
So Monday started "The Big Switch". The big switch from cramming my gullet 24/7 to eating three squares every day. The big switch from ducking down to the convenience store for a cookie and a bottle of Dr Pepper to waiting until lunch. The big switch from addicted to controlled.
Sigh. It's so fucking hard. My thoughts keep converging into "youneedacookieyoushouldgetapopgogetsomechips
gogetemnowchipschipschipschipswherearethechipsyou
shouldgetchipsgogetchipsgonownownownownow".
And I can't get those thoughts to shut the hell up. So I'm more than a little irritable and frustrated right now. But it'll pass eventually.
Okay, it won't pass. But it'll ease. I hope so, anyway.
Current weight: 416. Desired weight: lower than 416. Dare I dream?
March 22, 2004
Where on Earth have I been?
Short answer: napping.
Long answer: napping multiple times, interrupted by perioding snoozing.
It was a glorious weekend. Eat, nap, watch tv, nap, play games, nap, shop, nap. Repeat until a 72 hour period has elapsed, and a return to work is imminent.
Sweet, huh?
March 17, 2004
Wow
Boy am I tired. The Blovolanche was something to behold. If you missed it, go to Bill's blog and look at the damage. Scroll all the way down, then scroll up until you find WOLVERINES! SWARM!. The action all starts there and heads on up. (If you'd rather digest the posts one at a time, here's the permalink. But it's more fun as a continuous stream of connected posts.)
It was fun, Bill. Throw another party like that next St. Paddy's day. And sorry about the oven. I'm pretty sure the self-cleaning cycle will take care of that.
Now I've gotta take off these green tights before the knees go all baggy.
Toga party
There's a toga party over at Bill's blog. Get over there before all the beer is gone.
Toga! Toga! Toga!
Military justice
The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army
Man, you military guys have to toe the line.
March 14, 2004
Bleedin' Armadillo
It's been experiment time in the Chateau Du Mertz kitchen. Over the past couple of weeks I've done two versions of a Southern dessert tradition, the Red Velvet Cake.
Alton Brown was right. It's creepy. But man is it good.
The first incarnation came from allrecipes.com, and was okay. I overbaked it a bit, so it was a bit dry, but it came out. The frosting was a cooked frosting involving milk, flour, and lots of regular granulated sugar. While the cake was nothing spectacular, the frosting was grand. Lightly sweet, beautifully spreadable, and easy to make. I'm gonna remember that one.
This second incarnation came from the Land Of Cotton cookbook. Oh Lordy. What a devilish cake it is. Moist, tender, rich, slightly tart, smothered in cream cheese frosting. It nearly causes your heart to stop, it's so good.
Make sure you have milk nearby.
I've ordered a copy of the Land Of Cotton cookbook, as the one I'm using came from a coworker. Boyd is a Southern boy, and a damn fine cook from what I hear. (I've never actually eaten any of his cooking, so I can't speak from personal experience.)
Boyd's cookbook has rich red spatters on the pages. He's made that Red Velvet cake a number of times. The best recipes are always the messiest ones in the cookbook.
Thank you, Boyd. The cookbook is coming back this week.
March 12, 2004
Wind Rider kicks ass
Amazing what a tip or two can do for the look of your blog, especially if you post a poll. Thanks for clearing up the mystery, man.
March 10, 2004
Damn
Attempted a deconstruction of a spam I caught today at work. It was aimed at one of the attorneys, and promised a FREE REPORT telling all the secrets to becoming a million dollar rainmaker, whatever the hell that's supposed to be.
The fisking rapidly went nowhere. Spam just doesn't have the emotional tooth necessary. Nice try, Keith. Try again. So I bagged it.
Hey, let's go download porn!
March 09, 2004
Jeezus Palominos
Any of you CSS geniuses able to tell me why a table-based poll produces so much whitespace above itself? It's like a repeater kind of deal.
Select the whitespace and see what happens.
Stupid blog.
March 06, 2004
I should have known
Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
"You do not know the power of the Dark
Side." There are two possibilities: you
are a Star Wars geek, or you are unreasoningly
scary.
Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
March 04, 2004
What the hell?
Of all the things to have a vision of, this is just highly inappropriate. What kind of ministry is this?
On the other hand, it IS an accurate portrayal of everyone's concept of Clinton.
I'm not going to tell you how I found this.
March 03, 2004
Vent
Fuck everything and everybody.
There. That's the general venting. Now down to specifics.
When I tell you that you shouldn't open strange attachments, it means "don't open strange attachments". Stop fucking asking over and over what I mean, you clueless dolts.
When I tell you that viruses spoof the from field, take that info to heart. No, you retard, that virus didn't come from you.
Hey, system Admins. Turn off the goddamn virus notifications. They don't help, and they really screw things up. See above; current viruses spoof the from field, so you're sending virus notifications back to innocent and deeply confused users. Cut it out, you goddamn brainless asshats.
Hey, virus writers. Go fuck yourselves. Preferably with a crosscut saw.
Dear bus drivers Union. Go fuck yourselves. Twice over. With gusto. You fuckheads can't seem to grasp that you're fucking everyone over. You're not really helping your members. You're taking money out of their pockets with this asinine bullshit. They don't work, they don't get paid. By striking, you're pissing away any possible wage increases they would see. And fuck your "health insurance 'till the end of time". We don't get that, and we don't particularly want to foot the bill so that you can have it. Do like the rest of us do, and cut back. You're screwing the rank-and-file out of wages, you're breeding contempt for the Metro Transit system, you're inflaming both sides of the issue, you're pissing off a whole metro area full of commuters, and you're gonna fucking lose anyway. Fuck you, fuck your union agenda, fuck your pissing and moaning about how mean Pawlenty/the Metro Counsel is, and once again fuck you. Vigorously. With a Saws-All. Set on high.
Dear presidential campaigners. Shut up. I hate you all.
Dear Bush haters. I hate you more. Really. Measurably more. Fuck you large.
And you fucking tourists who insist on wandering the downtown skyways and stopping to gawk at the intersections; move your fucking asses out of the way so we don't feel like we're going to slam into you unexpectedly. Because we really are slamming into you unexpectedly. Have conversations OUT OF THE FUCKING LINE OF TRAFFIC. Quit clogging up the system.
And to those of you wearing "Stand up, keep fighting" buttons. Quit acting like you're the only thing holding off the invading hordes of Republicans from setting fire to small frightened immigrant children. I hate you. I hate your smug belief system, I hate your idolization of an annoying politician who alienated everyone in congress, I hate your fucking folk singer who surrounded himself with children of every color and sang that goddamn awful song, I hate your idealistic stupidity, I hate your hatred of anything male and white, I hate your blindness to reality, I hate hate hate you.
Goddammit.
Once again, fuck everyone and everything. Thank you, and goodnight.
Fuckers.
I'm burning for you
This is what happens when your house tries to spontaneously combust and doesn't quite succeed.
Last night I went downstairs and threw a load of whites in the washing machine. An hour later, after dinner, I went back downstairs and found water under the water heater, and a nice scorch mark up the side. Removing the control cover revealed a misshapen blob of metal like a robot belly-button, leaking water. Also a small heap of molten-at-one-time metal on the concrete.
This water heater is only three and a half years old. One does not normally expect the water heater to spout flames hot enough to melt its own drain valve.
Our plumber is downstairs replacing the water heater. Thank goodness for warranties. Oh, and this was the final straw as far as buying any appliances from that giant department store that was so popular in the Seventies. The one that rhymes with "leers". The one that replaced our brand new dishwasher three times. The one that led Fred on a multiple day chase for the particular microwave he wanted because they don't have any fucking clue what was in their stock. The one full of clueless sales droids.
Flame on!