Susskins Central Dispatch

Turkey

There's a turkey roasting in the oven. Fred is cleaning the carpet in the living room. The cats are napping. I'm gonna go eat a sandwich.

Sundays are great.

Thanksgiving report

Today consisted of the following: sleeping in, Macy's parade, chocolate cake, buttercream frosting, flat tire, dinner at Sister's, pork roast, au gratin potatoes, pumpkin pie, shrieking kids, broken buttercream, rewhipping buttercream, bingo, prizes, eating cake, chatting, home, television, petting cats, bacon sandwiches, Cirque Du Soleil, South Park, cleanup, posting, bed.

It has been a really good day. Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving, and good night to you.

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Optical Illusion

Ever seen this billboard?

This is prominently displayed on I-94 in Minneapolis, facing southbound traffic. I see it in the morning as I ride the bus into work downtown. The billboard is on the east side of the Interstate, which means it's on the other side of opposing traffic. Hang on, I'm telling you this for a reason.

The first few times I saw it, I got a rapid glimpse of it. Ever look at something quickly and misinterpret it?

The first few times, I saw a naked man holding a canned ham in front of his crotch, and I saw the Pork Council logo in the lower right corner. And each time I thought to myself, "did I really just see that?"

I couldn't understand why on Earth the Pork Council would put up such an ad. Are they not aware of the "pork" connotation? Do they think that this is appetizing? Are they insane?

The Other White Meat, indeed.

Finally, one day, I waited for it, and got a good clear look at it. Ah. It's not a canned ham, it's a cell phone in a ham-shaped blister pack. It's not the Pork Council logo, it's the Virgin Mobile logo.

That made more sense. Virgin Mobile. Young, Hip, Edgy. Selling phones with sex. (Translation: the usual retarded marketing.)

I may never look at canned hams the same way again.

Oh, this is just too good

subversive cross stitch

I want the "Homo Sweet Homo" one.

The snow, it comes down

Finally starting to look like Winter around here, even though it's still the last third of Autumn. But it's natural to have some snow in November, and that's been missing for the past three or four years.

A lot of the plants in Minnesota have taken a beating due to the erratic Winters of late. No snow, blasts of warmth, then blasts of cold. Those freezing temps without the insulation of snow causes havoc with root systems. Last year we didn't get any snow until February, long after the sub-zero temps had set in. Result; the frost line was really deep, and the damage was substantial. A lot of gardeners lost a lot of roses last Winter. (Minnesota gardeners bury their roses in the winter. It didn't help.)

Bring on the snow. We can take it, and the gardens will be much happier for it.

Homer, Level 1

I'm at 84% complete on level 1 of The Simpsons Hit and Run. I've completed the story missions, the bonus mission, found all the gags, killed all the cameras, bought all the clothes. I'm missing one card, two races, and one car. So close to completing the level!

If you know what I need to do to finish the level, keep it to yourself. I'm determined to do it without cheats, help or hints. I WILL find that last card, I WILL complete the last two races, and I WILL get the Electrasaurus car.

And then on to level two, which has the deadly nerd race to the coffee shop. I just can't get the hang of Comic Book Guy's deadly green Gremlin.

Obsessed? Not hardly. Despite the fact that I keep hearing the music playing over and over in my head, and laugh hysterically when Homer says "I have no insurance!" and "Awww, now I have a wedgie."

Michael Jackson

Freak.

Do I need to say anything more?

Back to normal

Blogroll has been restored. Thanks be to Blogrolling.com for their hard work.

We now return you to your normal pointless browsing experience.

Blogjacked

If you have a blog, and you have an automated blogroll, check that it's okay. I've seen two this morning that were hijacked. Each had one site entered over and over again. And of course, one of the jacked blogrolls was my own.

I've temporarily removed my blogroll until this is fixed.

Jerks!

D'oh

A quick note before bed; The Simpsons: Hit and Run ROCKS.

Indiana

Jones, that is.

Tonight the featured Feature was Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. One of my favorite popcorn movies. We cranked up the crotchety old laserdisc player, and ran through the giant silver platters. (Temple of Doom is three sides on laser. Two disks. Had to do a disk swap during the "lower Willie into the lava pit" sequence.)

I'd like it on DVD, because the picture would be better, the sound would be better, and there'd be no disk swap. But it's just not an overriding obsession. I've got the first two movies on laserdisk, I don't want the third, and it's kinda cool to get that big twelve inch platter spinning. (The laserdisk player hums like a madman from all the torque.)

Ever seen the Extended version of The Abyss? You can get it on DVD for twenty bucks or so. I bought it years ago in a special box set for Laser. It set me back $120. It was worth it. It is so cool to watch that way.

I also have all three of the original Star Wars movies on Laser, released prior to the Special Edition versions. Considering that Lucas keeps claiming that the original versions will never be released again, I've got the best copies anyone will ever see.

I think I'll figure out what I need to do to transfer them to DVD. Gee, that'd be sweet...

Okay, now I'm showing off. Hell, have to sometime.

Little Hooligans

An interesting thing happened on the way home tonight.

I ride the bus between home and work. The bus, of course, sits higher than everything, and has windows like an aquarium. Perfect visibility for the riders. Tonight, I had a good view of one of the intersections we were going through.

A car was in the middle of the intersection, between the islands of the highway, as if it had pulled out from the left-turn lane and was trying to figure out what to do. As we started to enter the intersection (via the far right lane,) the car began to back itself back into the turn lane.

Further examination revealed that the car was unoccupied, and was in fact coasting backwards into traffic.

Even more examination revealed that two humans were running away on the far side of the highway, and were quick to scale an eight-foot wooden highway barrier and vault over into someone's backyard.

Looked to me like their stolen car had stalled on them, and they bailed out. My bus was lucky to be going through the intersection as it happened, because I can guess at the massive traffic snarl created by their little stunt. I hope no-one's car was damaged, and that the little turds jumped into a yard with a couple of very angry dogs.

Evening

The evening was spent engaged in the following pursuits:
Making chicken soup for my honey
Devouring said chicken soup
Starting a load of laundry
Playing Gran Turismo 3 with my honey
Watching Clone Wars, Good Eats, Samurai Jack, Oliver's Twist, X Play
Throwing the laundry into the dryer
Finding the Toblerone I bought for my honey
Paying my car insurance online
Typing up this diatrive

Exciting, huh? Life is just a barrel of monkeys in this house.

I kid. I love my life. The small silly things are the best things to happen to me ever. I couldn't ask for more.

Creepy

The current storyline in Achewood is freaking me out. It's amazing how invested a person can become in simple comic characters.

I'm genuinely worried about Phillippe.

Get a life, Keith.

Yikes in so many ways

I was in one of Bill's dreams. I don't know what to do now. Should I be freaked out? Should I be flattered? Should I call the police?

Here's the scary part. It involved the two of us meeting Lileks. Given Bill's unhealthy obsession with Sir James, I'm not at all sure what to do now.

If I don't post anything for the next two weeks, call the cops. And then start dredging the lakes.

Where's all the vitriol?

Feeling at ease with the world, until someone unplugs the PlayStation.

Really, it's hard to conjure up any bile of late. I think of things that piss me off, and the piss-offedness lasts about ten minutes and then goes away. Streisand? Pissed. Oh, no longer care. Light Rail? Pissed. Ah, fuck it. Al Sharpton? Not even enough to piss me off.

It's as if I've got no demons right now due to a large demon convention in Orlando. They'll be back, I'm sure. Until then, you'll be seeing a kinder, gentler Keith round these entries.

Sure. I say that now, and tomorrow I rip someone's cloaca out and suck up the juice. I'm moody like that.

Hey! Who wants to play Gran Turismo 3?

Falling down a hole in the Earth

and it's all Squaresoft's fault.

I'm working my way into Final Fantasy X. Holy cow, what a ride. And it's an RPG, which means I don't need to have fast twitch skills with the controller.

Died three times before I figured out how to start things properly.

I've been a good boy

...and good boys get good toys. Like a Playstation 2 and copies of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy X.

Fred found a good deal at a local pawn shop. So this afternoon I came home the happy owner of a nice used PS2. It even came with a bonus game (Medal of Honor) that the previous owner had left in the tray. After dinner I spent a blissful hour learning how to play Kingdom Hearts, which is just plain cool. A fusion of Final Fantasy and Disney characters. Whee!

I see Silent Hill 3 in my near future, too. As well as The Simpsons Road Rage.

"I am EE-Vil Ho-MER."