October 31, 2003
Halloween ends
And it was a good run. A total of forty six kids, assorted adults, a handful of screams, a couple of scared ones who worked up the nerve to make it to the front door, six jack-o-lanterns, a skeleton, a green light, a fog machine, sound effects, creepy music, a voice changer, and a whole row of luminaria.
We got lots of compliments from kids and adults alike. We also got squeals of delight at the quantity and quality of candy. No Grandma candy here; we give out the good stuff, by the handful. The eyeballs were the hit, though. Peanut butter, fudge, and also caramel. The kids were impressed.
And while it was going on, we were sitting in a darkened living room, watching Young Frankenstein.
It was a very good Halloween.
October 27, 2003
My head is full of cotton and shaved wax
Back from the dead. No longer completely dead, but merely nearly dead. (I saw a comic once that had Jesus making coffee, and thinking, "Man, what time is it? I feel like I've been dead for three days.")
Wednesday night, the fever dreams started. I dreamed that a thousand Playstation 2 owners were simultaneously playing a single crossword puzzle, and were trying to wrest control from each other. My mind was a confetti-swirl of PS2 controllers and crossword puzzle squares.
Thursday was spent sleeping and feeling lousy. Friday was spent sleeping and making trips to the john. Saturday was spent having family over, and feeling like stagnant water. Sunday was spent sleeping and feeling beat, with occasional bouts of intestinal cramping.
Today I feel better, but holy hannah am I tired. And my digestive system is still not right.
That was some ugly flu. Wash your hands after reading this site.
A joke for you
Stolen from Usenet:
How do you tell the difference between Daleks and environmentalists?
The Daleks have more pleasant voices.
(evil grin)
October 22, 2003
Some people are insane
John at Balloon Juice has a revealing posting about the Peace Process in Denver.
Apparently some goofball has gotten an Initiative on the ballot that will call for "community wide stress-reduction measures - such as mass meditation sessions, piping soothing music into public buildings, and serving natural foods in school cafeterias."
You have to go read it. It's the funniest thing I've seen in some time.
Celebrity
Andy Ihnatko has managed to find a real gem about Liza Minelli and David Gest on the E! site.
Since the split, the two have holed up on opposite coasts, with Minnelli mainly keeping to Manhattan, and Gest reputedly hanging at Jim Nabors' Hawaiian estate.
As Bubba the Cable Guy said, "as happy as Jim Nabors with a wheelbarrow full of buttholes."
You may commence giggling.
Ah hah!
Thanks to Paul, I've finally tracked down TV's Spatch. He's been out of sight since his Catatonic Comix domain name got hijacked.
Der Spatchel is one of the oddest people I've ever met. And I mean that in a kind and loving way. Really.
No, really. I'm not lying.
Why are you looking at me like that?
October 21, 2003
Holy crap
Looks like Hosting Matters is getting attacked again. I can't get to certain blogs.
Denial-Of-Service attacks are so aggravating.
Oh, Ick.
James Lileks hits a nerve in today's Backfence. Or rather, one of his readers hits it.
One of the pills immediately jumped up and began running around inside my mouth, on what felt like dozens of tiny, prickly legs.
Fortunately, I didn't reflexively swallow; instead, I spewed pills, water and one frantic earwig all over the mirror, counter, sink and adjacent walls. And as fast as I was, that little bugger was faster -- I think it made at least two complete laps of my mouth, including tonsils, before the reflexive explosion.
Good lord. I'm gonna be creeped out by that all day. Earwigs are so NASTY.
October 17, 2003
So long. Now get out.
Cereal Adventure closing at Mall of America
Thank goodness.
Honestly. What were they thinking?
Games
If you were going to buy a gaming console, which one would you get? And by gaming console, I mean one of the following:
Nintendo Gamecube
Nintendo Gameboy Advance
Microsoft Xbox
Sony Playstation 2
Those proposing a PC, Mac, PS1, Super Nintendo or other pointless systems will be disregarded and possibly laughed at. Same goes for those that say "I wouldn't buy any of 'em."
Okay, let me know. Which would you buy, and why?
October 15, 2003
Less cranky now
Got to watch an episode of "The Joe Schmoe Show", followed by the first half hour of "The Matrix Reloaded". I feel better.
I love Joe Schmoe. And I can hardly stand it. Finale next Tuesday!
As for The Matrix, I give the finger to all those fanboys that hated it. It's a good movie. It's also a sequel, which means it is working with established characters and storylines, so there's not nearly as much discovery.
You go into a movie with heightened expectations, you'll get the shit kicked out of you. Quit saying "it'll be the best movie ever!" before you see it. Honestly, you tards.
Cooked
My brain, that is.
Didn't get out of work until almost six. I got pulled into a technical situation, much like an explorer would get pulled into quicksand. Meanwhile, Fred has someone grabbing rock from the front yard. (Free river rock. You dig it, you can have it.) And then I get to go in early tomorrow and nurse a sick email server back to health. (Bad memory card. Dammit.)
I'm all cranky now.
October 11, 2003
The Rain in Spain...
...has got nothing on Minnesota.
Well, poop. Yard work came to an abrupt halt this morning. I had hauled a load of brush to the Yard Waste facility, had converted the mower to bagging, and was blowing leaves out of the front rock when it started to sprinkle. Half an hour later it was pouring out. What the hell? Where did this come from?
So the rest of the day became an inside day. Fred will have to mow tomorrow. For this afternoon, I've been alternating between naps and computer work. Our PC ("Lance") is being downgraded to Windows 2000, because we both loathe XP. I've got the new hard drive formatting now.
Oops, there it goes. Time to go poke at it again.
October 10, 2003
Serve with a Tall Cool Wetback
Hey baby, ever had a Hot Dago?
Ethnic slurs aside, there really is a sandwich called a Hot Dago. I've never had one, but there has been some speculation about whether such a thing exists. Seems kind of curious, naming a sandwich after a derogatory term. You expect them to serve it with fried Chinks and a Slope for dessert.
I will track down the Dago, and give it a try. And let you know whether it's worth it or not.
Shake it, baby
Okay, this is just too good. If anything ever screamed "cheap floozy in her boudoir", this is it.
I love 'em. And if I was into womens' things, I'd have one of these.
Honk
It's Friday. I'm a few short hours away from a weekend of relaxation and yard work.
Yes, I feel that way about yard work. Because I don't bust my ass doing it. I could push hard, get things immaculate, spend all day weeding and digging and hauling, but all that really accomplishes is the loss of my free time.
So I'll be hauling a trailer full of brush to the recycling dump, and helping Fred dump bagloads of leaves and grass clippings. I'll water trees, and sweep the front walk. And that'll be enough.
Are you getting in any sitting time this weekend? Why not?
One Year Anniversary
Bill at Bloviating Inanities is celebrating his one year blogging anniversary.
Go visit him. You don't have to stay long. Honestly, I wouldn't expect you to, what with his runny open sores and his chronic flatulence. Or his gross habit of biting his own toenails off. Or the lingering stench of burned meat and chicken droppings. Or the crabs. Or the gaping fistula in his neck. Or the endless sniffling.
I won't even mention the hunch or the hacking cough.
Go! Visit! And then run away!
October 09, 2003
Mmmm. Buttery.
Hikers Find 70 Shoes Filled With Butter
Someone has a really particular and specific fetish, I think.
Alarm Clock
rings and I get out of the mental bed. Time to poke sticks at politics, turn the Harsh Light of Mockery on foolishness, and act like a darn goof.
It's been an interesting Summer, and it's already shaping up to be an interesting Autumn as well.
So I'll spend the next few days taking the sheets off the furniture and sweeping the dust out of the corners. I've got stories to tell you, and they won't get told unless I get after it.
So I'll get after it. Right after this commercial message...