February 28, 2003
End of February
Nothing interesting to say. Just that March starts in three hours.
Goodbye February. See you in eleven months.
I'm so lame...
February 27, 2003
February 26, 2003
Devil's Advocate
Brain Terminal takes a camera and a microphone to the >peace protests, and tries to figure out the rationalizations that the protesters operate under. Some of the answers are amazingly funny.
Requires Quicktime. You can view it as streaming video, or you can download it.
Link via Aaron's Rantblog.
February 25, 2003
Love Hate Love
Mike of Cold Fury captures the essence of New York so well, and balances it against Islamic pronunciations about destroying secular Western Society.
Amazing writing.
February 24, 2003
Seven Things that annoy Email Administrators
1. Chain email Hoaxes - The email beta test hoax is hot and heavy right now. Know how much traffic that damn thing generates? Know how many times I see it every day? Holy Hoppin' Jebus, people. Bill Gates is NOT going to send you a check for forwarding this lame thing to all your friends. Cut it out.
2. Virus Hoaxes - No, the JDBGMGR.EXE file is not a virus. Yes, I know it has a teddy bear icon. That doesn't make it a virus. No, your friend did not infect you. No, you haven't infected everyone else. No, you don't need to delete that file. No, you don't need to warn everyone on the planet. Yes, you're an idiot for participating in this crap. Over and over and over. No, I don't want to hear about the "Guts to say Jesus" or "Penpal Greetings" viruses. They don't exist. Cut it out. Quit falling for this garbage.
3. Porn spam - Especially when received by older female users. Some of these ladies are getting a rude awakening, which really displeases me. Quit mailing double-penetration pics to everyone, you Assnuggets. Quit bothering my users. Quit increasing my workload.
4. Bulk mailings from within - No, you can't send that 1.5MB animated holiday greeting to all the people in your address book. You'll break the mail server, you clodhopper. TOO MUCH DATA. It'll take hours to send that, hours in which no other users will be able to send email because you're clogging up the pipe.
5. Typos - I'd really rather not spend half an hour looking for your lost email only to find that the person who sent it to you managed to mangle your address.
6. Lack of Diligence - I'd really rather not spend half an hour looking for your lost email only to hear that you found it sitting in your inbox all the time.
7. Viruses - If you let a virus loose in the firm and cause me to spend two days cleaning up my mail server, I will not think well of you, you pinhead. There are REASONS why we ask you not to download junk and install it willy-nilly. It breaks things. Badly. Please don't do it again, or we'll come up to your cubicle and beat you with a keyboard. Loudly. With feeling.
Everybody clear on those points now?
February 23, 2003
Seven Things that I'm Tired of Hearing
1. Pollution is causing Global Warming. - Really? You sure? There seems to be some serious debate against that. At the very least, we're talking about a ridiculously small sample. This is not the kind of thing that can be accurately measured in decades. How do you know that any rise in temperature isn't just a natural flux of the Earth's weather? Stop freaking out. It's getting annoying.
2. SUV drivers are supporting terrorists. - Fuck off. Don't even want to hear it.
3. War is not the answer. - Usually spouted by the anti-SUV clowns. Okay, smarty-pants. What IS the answer? Aromatherapy?
4. Selected, not elected. - Actually, you can spout this one off as much as you want, because it makes me happy to see you so frothing mad about something you can't change.
5. Martin Sheen is my President. - Ish. What's the matter with you?
6. Bush=Hitler. - Sure. And Gore=Stalin. And Chirak=a gherkin. Wait. That one's true. Anyway, once you show me the American death camps and explain how the US is invading Canada and Mexico while wiping out religious groups, we'll talk. Until then, shut your clueless gob.
7. Michael Moore speaks for the common man. - Only if the common man has a large advance for him.
February 22, 2003
February 21, 2003
Round Three
Holy Hannah. What a response. The pair of 'em came out with foul-mouthed guns a-blazin'. I haven't seen that much mud thrown since Woodstock 99.
Ladies, beware. THAT word gets thrown around.
Dumbasses
Man arrested after refusing to return bank windfall
The guy cashes a check for twenty six bucks. The teller mistakenly gives him twenty six hundred bucks. (Dumbass #1) The guy leaves with the money, without saying anything. He refuses to return the money when contacted, and gets arrested. (Dumbass #2)
Honestly. How fucking stupid are these people?
Weather in Champlin
Who am I to fight a trend? Time to add a Weatherpixie to my site.
He doesn't really look like me, but he's the closest match I could find. Oh well. No-one ever does graphics design for the huge mutant folk. Rather similar to the way that no one ever sells clothes for the huge mutant folk.
But enough about Andre the Giant.
February 20, 2003
The Fight at Bill's Site
Round Two is on. Bring a newspaper, in case the blood flies out of the ring.
Score from Round One:
Acidman: 5
Madonna: 1
But they were ALL close decisions. Madonna's not out yet.
February 19, 2003
Round One
Round One of the Fight at Bill's Site has been completed.
Madonna made the mistake of insulting two of the judges (Rachel and me) by using a mild gay slur. Not a good way to score points.
Get over there and check it out. Round two tomorrow, with more bloodshed and possible expletives.
Update: Rita rightly reminds me that SHE's the one that objected to the gay slur, not Rachel. (But it's entirely possible that Rachel objects too. I'll let her speak for herself, though.)
Madonna, please note that I NEVER said I was offended. (I said Insulted, which is not the same thing.) You'll have to do more than that to offend me. But it sure left a "that was so lame" taste in my mouth. You've definitely got better material to work with; I've seen it in action.
Zander Revisited
Remember the online poll I posted about a month or two ago? It was an opinion poll for a young man's High School project, asking about the war.
Well, I just found out that Zander has Leukemia, Lymphoma and Pancreatic Cancer, and is now in the fight of his life. Go check out this posting and read through the archive to get the whole picture.
Get well, Zander. Kick this thing in the ass!
Link courtesy of Matt at Overtaken by Events.
February 18, 2003
Viruses are evil
Late night at work. Been here for at least 13 hours. Still more to do.
Postings when I'm conscious. Probably next week.
February 17, 2003
Freak show
First twenty minutes of Michael Jackson interview watched.
Yee gads. And we're not even to the weird stuff yet. This man is insane in the membrane.
February 16, 2003
Seven Great Roller Coasters I've Ridden
1. Mr. Twister, Elitch Gardens, Denver - I rode this monster in the late Seventies. It was my first real coaster, and it was a frightening experience. Needless to say, it was so frightening that I rode it again. It no longer exists, though two clones of it have been made.
2. Kumba, Busch Gardens Tampa, Tampa Bay - Smooth, undulating looper in Florida. The first B&M coaster I rode, and one of the best. All sorts of crazy elements, swoops through tunnels, great visuals. Just plain fun.
3. Hulk, Universal Islands of Adventure, Orlando - A big green monster that launches you out of a cannon. Twisty looper with a great setting. The launch up the hill is amazing. Hulk was my fiftieth coaster.
4. Legend, Holiday World, Santa Claus Indiana - One of the best wooden coasters I've ever been on. It's fast, wild, and lovingly attended to by the Holiday World staff. My first ride was with Paul, a coaster buddy. He said I shouted "Jesus Christ!", "oh my God!", " and "holy shit!" quite a few times.
5. Raven, Holiday World, Santa Claus Indiana - Funny thing. Holiday World has another of my favorite coasters. Slightly older, slightly shorter, and slightly faster than Legend, Raven is a short sweet ride through the woods. An incredibly forceful, short, sweet ride, that is. Yikes! Best in the dark, after a day of getting warmed up.
6. Tremors, Silverwood, Atholl Idaho - A great wooden coaster in a beautiful setting. Four tunnels, excellent drops, and a first drop that shoots you through the gift shop. I love this coaster.
7. Wild Thing, Valleyfair!, Shakopee Minnesota - A home favorite. Big beautiful green thing that's all about airtime. It's unfortunately a shadow of what it used to be, due to heavy braking midway through the ride. But when it's allowed to run full-out, it's just plain fun. The first season, it was allowed to run full-out. Whee!
Lazy Sunday
It's a quiet day at Chateau Du Mertz. I've spent nearly the entire day on the loveseat in the basement, watching television. (Or sleeping. Same difference.)
There's something about my brain that requires regular "down days", days where I have no concerns, go nowhere, do nothing. They are the most restful days I ever have, and I come out of them full of fire and ambition. A single event can shatter them.
Fred wanted to go see "Daredevil" today, but graciously postponed it. I'll be making it up to him. Maybe we'll have a Tuesday night out at the movies.
I've had nearly (but not quite) enough rest for the day. I've started doing chores, though I'll not come up to super speed. Besides, I'm making spaghetti tonight, and that's nearly enough to do me it.
Not really.
February 14, 2003
Coaster Construction
One of my hobbies/passions/obsessions is roller coasters. My home park, Valleyfair, is installing a new coaster for the 2003 season. Take a look at the basic structure of Steel Venom.
The coaster is an Intamin Impulse coaster, the fifth such coaster to be built. It runs in a U-shape, with the train suspended under the track. (Like a ski-lift.) The train runs back and forth several times, forward, then backward, then forward, etc. The front spike spirals. The back spike has a brake which momentarily stops the train, leaving the riders suspended face down, looking at the ground below them.
I suspect that some people will freak out when they see the coaster in action.
Them's fightin' words
Bill at Bloviating Inanities is running a matchup between His Mother-in-law Madonna and Acidman. The comments-based shouting match is being billed as "The Fight At My Site".
Guess who's a judge?
Lord. Someone's gonna end up getting knifed. I just know it.
February 13, 2003
Hot?
Guilty pleasure of the evening: "Are You Hot?"
Completely ridiculous show, full of vain, empty people. The shallowness was drippin' off the screen. We, of course, enjoyed it.
One of the contestants was from Champlin, which is where Fred and I live. He dissed Rachel Hunter, and she gave him a two for sex appeal. Bad move, idiot. Needless to say, he didn't make it at the end of the show. Cut like the lifeless little twink he was.
So now to bed, and a little cuddle time with the hottest man on the planet.
February 12, 2003
New things in my life
And those things are
Glasses...
Yep, I'm of that age. Headaches, Neuralgia, and the at-arms-length trick were starting to become commonplace. So Monday night Fred hauled me over to Pearle Vision. Net result is a nice pair of reading glasses. I'm slightly nearsighted in one eye, and slightly farsighted in the other. I also have a touch of astigmatism.
These glasses are only for closeup work, which is a fair amount of my work day. So I'll be taking them off and putting them on repeatedly. But it's worth it. I already feel less tired, and reading is easier.
As I age, my close vision will drop down enough to justify bifocals, which I'll happily wear. But for now, these solve about eighty percent of my vision problems, which is just fine.
Christ. The wheels of time are turning, and they're running me down...
Aknowledgement
Thanks to Justine Ducote for the new tagline. You have a warped sense of humor, my friend.
Humor of the Juvenile kind
Over at Blogs of War, John points us towards a skirmish between warbloggers and Madonna fans.
Folks, it don't get much better'n this. One side: Right Wing bloggers irritated with Madonna's latest Far-Left reactionary bullshit designed to sell albums. Other side: Rabid Madonna fans with panties in a bunch over Right Wing bloggers' statements.
All I need now is a bowl of popcorn.
February 11, 2003
AT&T finds their ass
The Internet Cutover Project (Part II, Electric Boogaloo) happened tonight, and someone must have provided AT&T with a map and a GPS. They actually found their own ass.
We have a new connection at work, and it works. Hallelujah. I made it home before 9:30.
I go bed now. Michele, enough tequila. Get to bed.
February 10, 2003
Please Help
We're undergoing a serious National Crisis, the like of which this country has yet to see. Burnt Sienna is on the chopping block.
In honor of Crayola's 100th Anniversary, four new colors are being introduced. To make room for them, four of five old colors are being eliminated. One of the five is that cultural touchstone known as Burnt Sienna.
Do your part! Go to Crayola's website and vote for Burnt Sienna's salvation. Do it for your Country! Do it for your Neighbors! Do it for The Children!
(Fair warning: you'll have to register at the Crayola site. It's fairly painless, though. Go do it now, before it's too late!)
February 09, 2003
Futurama
I'm now completely convinced that Futurama is one of the greatest shows ever done, and that Fox has their network heads up their tight asses, thus cutting off bloodflow and causing them to cancel production of one of the greatest shows ever done.
Do you agree or disagree?
(Just watched the Santa Claus episode. Man, was that good.)
February 08, 2003
Bed
It does a body good. I'm gonna shower the stink off, and climb in bed with my honey for some serious rest. See you all tomorrow.
Michele, put down the Tequila and go to bed.
AT&T Sucks So Hard
That's why there's a small dimple on the side of their logo.
The evening was mostly a bust, because the AT&T guys couldn't find their router guy. Nice, huh? So I got in 2 1/2 hours of overtime, and did nothing more productive than swap out a bad UPS.
What a thrill. These are the parts of my job that I love so much. Driving in at night, and working on other projects while the consultants/services we count on have their collective thumbs up their butts.
Could be worse. Could have Acidman's job...
Update: Because strangers are coming out of the woodwork and randomly attaching comments to this old post, I've disabled said comments. Please, people. This posting is nearly a year old.
Lazy Saturday
The day has consisted of naps, light television, more naps, a sandwich or two, naps, a little snow shoveling, naps, and Harry Potter books. (Finished The Chamber of Secrets, started The Prisoner of Azkaban. Yep, this is a reread. Love those books.)
I'm outta here in fifteen minutes. Gotta go work tonight. We're cutting over to a new Internet circuit tonight, which means endless fun with AT&T.
"AT&T. When you have no other choice."
Their symbol isn't the Deathstar for nothing. They truly are an evil empire, mired in bureaucratic sludge. I pity my boss, who is a main contact with them. I get to ignore them for the main part. Blech.
February 07, 2003
Blogs of Note
Dorothy's Brassiere! Gay Pro-war liberals in Kansas? Can't be!
Mike Silverman is having a Red Letter Day. He's a Pro-War liberal with a heart of gold and fists of steel. Or maybe it's a steel plate and a lead ass.
Just kidding, Mike! Honest!
Go make fun of him for living in Kansas. And send him rude email asking for comments, so that we can publicly humiliate him on his board.
Thanks
Thanks to all of you that wished us well. We had an excellent Anniversary, with snuggles, a little television, some computer time, and a nice spaghetti dinner.
When we first started out, I lived in Mankato. Fred would drive down from Minneapolis every Thursday to spend the evening with me. (Ninety minutes each way.) I usually made a nice spaghetti dinner for us.
Last night, we both realized that we were having our "dating meal", and that it was a Thursday night. Seemed very appropriate for a Fifth Anniversary.
Fred bought me beautiful red roses, and I bought him a box of Dark Chocolates from Godiva. I thought he was going to expire from delight when he bit into the chocolate Ganashe.
Thanks again to everyone. You're part of the reason that the past five years have been so wonderful.
And to Chris: Diolch yn fawr. Wel, dyma i chi ddefaid da! Dydy'r Saeson ddim yn gallu canu'n dda. Fe hoffwn gael dau ddwsin arall o Fapiau Pen-glin.
Hope I got that right. That Welsh guy down the hall giggled as I walked away.
February 06, 2003
Happy Anniversary, honey
Keith and Fred at Lake Coeur dAlene, September 2002
Today is our Fifth anniversary together. Five years ago, I went to this man's house to meet him for our first date. I never left.
My love for you grows every day, Fred. This has been the happiest five years of my life, and I can hardly wait for the next five. Life with you is a pip!
February 05, 2003
Birthday Fishes
Mike at ColdFury is 43 today. Wish him a happy birthday, and leave something obscene in his comments sections.
Hell hath no fury
That Hell Hag Michele subjected us to this. So it's only fair that I subject you to it as well.
Do you dare?
February 04, 2003
Why Star Trek often sucks
I have been a longtime Star Trek fan, but lately I've been less than interested in any of it. Lately is defined as "the past eight years or so."
I watched the first episode of Enterprise, and was mildly amused. And then never went back to it. It just seemed like a gigantic waste of time, and didn't grab me by the popo. Here's a site that may explain why.
C.R.A.P.
I'm tired of Susan Sarandon being tired of being called "Anti-American" for asking questions.
You're not asking questions. You're being a obnoxious old bag. Wanna ask Israel or Kuwait or Iran what they think of Iraq?
Shut up and dance, you performing monkey. Leave the politics to those that have a clue.
(This comment brought to you courtesy of the Celebrities Ridiculous Arrogance Partnership. Spoiling your enjoyment of films, music and literature since 1909.)
February 03, 2003
Seven Truths about life
1. Enjoy 'em today, because they could be gone tomorrow. Whatever you do, do it with friends and family. Life can end so quickly and unexpectedly. So make the most of NOW.
2. Give up your seat to old ladies. They've earned it, even if they're cantankerous old biddies.
3. Try everything twice. You might not like it the first time.
4. When you ride a roller coaster, don't be afraid to act like a fool. Roller coasters are not about looking good. They're about surrendering yourself to the power of this world. Let go, fling your hands up, yell like an idiot, and feel the surge of life.
5. If you don't ride roller coasters, find the thing that gives you unbridled joy. And then go do it. Joy is way too important to keep putting off.
6. Pick up your own damn socks. Quit expecting your significant other to do it for you. He or she has his or her own socks to deal with. Pick 'em up and put 'em where they belong.
7. Don't eat food you detest. I hate onion, pickles, and green peppers. Why should I eat something that makes me unhappy? I don't think the world will crash about my ears because I eschew supreme pizza. Screw that. I'll eat the foods that taste good. You should too. (Note: this does not mean pig out on junk.)
February 02, 2003
Winter
It's actually acting like Winter up here. At last. At the end of January. Here's the view out front of our house as of 9:00 Sunday night, the second of February.
Pretty, huh? Thick and wet enough to take out one of our satellite dishes, too. (Yes, we have two satellite dishes. I'm a thorough video geek.)
February 01, 2003
Space Shuttle Lost
Columbia shuttle breaks up over Texas.
No real word yet on why, but terrorism doesn't seem to be a factor.