December 31, 2002
Merry New Year!
Just back from a New Year's Eve party. Food, drink, silliness, and a small black poodle. It was a good time.
Ending 2002. Beginning 2003. May this year bring you peace, contentment, and a small amount of excitement. Love to you all.
Keith & Fred
The Susskins
December 30, 2002
December 27, 2002
Damn it
I swear, this damn Movable Type installation is pissing me off. Why won't it generate the main index properly? Keeps ending up truncated, which plays hell with my blogroll and archives.
Aaarrrggghhhh!!!!!
Where's the ejector button?
Bill at Eject! Eject! Eject! has an essay entitled EMPIRE.
Bill is a born essayist. This was a pure pleasure to read. I recommend you read it. Might do you some good.
Or not. Your choice.
NO! GO READ IT RIGHT NOW!!!
Sorry. Must control emotions better...
Whoops!
"I love you, you love me..." One doesn't normally think of Barney when considering sources of porn. Check those childrens' books before handing them over to your impressionable progeny! You might find a treat for yourself.
December 26, 2002
Are you Ghetto Fabulous?
Courtesy of the fine folks at the KQRS Morning Show.
December 25, 2002
Christmas Day
On the whole, it's been an EXCELLENT Christmas. I got a neat little Maglight flashlight, peanut butter cups, three calendars, "Dangerous Liaisons" on DVD, a Valleyfair! mug, candles, money for shopping, good food, naps, a "Thunderbirds" marathon on tv, and a beautiful Christmas supper with my honey. Time now for bed.
Wonderful, wonderful Christmas! Love to all of you, and may you finish the year with Joy and contentment.
Hell, Handbasket
My blog-friend Bill is determined to find the express conduit to Hell. Otherwise, how to explain his predilection for blasphemous dairy products? Can't be done. He's obviously trying really hard to get Satan's attention, in much the same way that Ebola tries to get a Doctor's attention.
That, or he's "tetched".
December 24, 2002
Arrgh
Movable Type is botching up on me. I suspect that my webserver is choking. Net result: the right side of this site is not generating properly. Missing blogroll, missing archives, missing calendar.
Fuck it. I'm not working on it today. We're off to see "The Two Towers". Have a Merry Christmas Eve!
December 23, 2002
Lott! Lott! Lott!
Scrappleface takes a Biblical spin on the whole Trent Lott deal.
Chocolate Landmines
LILEKS talks today about the Whitman Sampler, a staple of chocolates here in the US. A box full of assorted candies, all hidden beneath a lovely envelope of milk or dark chocolate. Who knows where the dread coconut one is? Or, in James' case, where the vile Pistachio one is?
Well, he neglected to mention one of the important facets of the Whitman Sampler; it came with a roadmap. Yep, in the lid of every box was a map describing each and every chocolate. You could look for the chocolate creme, and see exactly which one (and where) it was.
Kinda makes the threat of Pistachio less troublesome. Not as much fun if you're into surprises, but not as annoying if you're the type (like I am) who really despises Coconut creme.
If you didn't have a Whitman Sampler, you had to resort to the old "stick your finger in the bottom and put the yucky ones back" technique. Mom tended to yell at us about that one.
December 22, 2002
Cereal Killer
When's the last time you saw a puppeteer interviewed about cereal?
December 20, 2002
Four More Shopping Days
Still not done with your Christmas shopping? You need Dave Barry's Shopping Guide. Everything from themed caskets to duct tape purses. And even a saddle for Dad!
Personally, I WANT the farting telephone. For the guest room.
Clowns!
Neal Sheeran is my new hero. A nice piece about Senator Patty Murray and that baked potato brain of hers talking about Osama the Philanthropist to Highschoolers.
A sample:
"War is expensive too," she said. "Your generation ought to be thinking about whether we should be better neighbors out in other countries so that they have a different vision of us."
Arrrrgh. Shut. The. Hell. Up.
Why are you reading my babbling, when you could be reading his?
Touch my monkey
Man sentenced for monkeys in pants.
Has there ever been a better headline?
Courtesy of Michele at A Small Victory.
Survivor: Thailand
Survivor Thailand was won by a Porn Star. How exciting is that? Porn can get you far in life, it appears.
Even more interesting, his porn star wife (you saw that coming, didn't you?) was arrested for Domestic Assault.
Now we know why she wouldn't eat the waterbug.
Counter Clinton Library
Every former President puts up a Presidential library, right? Well, the Counter Clinton Library is soliciting donations for a presentation of "The TRUE Clinton Legacy."
Go check it out. Rather interesting.
December 19, 2002
Operation Marley, Part 3
Oh, great. Here's another one. This AssJack has a crucified Santa on his front lawn. How nice.
“The last thing I want to do is offend people, but if I have to do that to bring people to the cross, come on,” said Ciluaga, who lives in the home with his wife and two roommates.
No, the first thing you want to do is offend people. Otherwise you wouldn't have erected this. Honestly, what kind of oddball are you?
This isn't about Christianity. A cross with Jesus on it is significant, because the Crucifixion of Christ was a significant event. A cross with Santa on it is nothing more than a representation of torture.
Honest to G-D, this is getting on my nerves. There's always some knot-head that has to make a big stink about "Christmas is becoming so commercial." I would point out that people said that forty fucking years ago. Want proof? Watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and note the dialogue. If memory serves, Linus says, "Christmas has become too commercial." That line is from 1965.
Are you telling me that Christmas is more commercial than it's ever been? You're wrong.
Protest all you want. Tell people what you want. But don't be shocked if people don't take kindly to a crucified Santa.
Operation Marley, Part 2
James Lileks has a great Screed about our friends in Vancouver. Only he can do it like this:
"Pretension, Hatred, Conspictuous Arseholery, Snobfoolishness. Enjoy your life! "
Just a reminder; Operation Marley is running right now! Do your part! Impart a little Christmas Cheer where it'll do some good!
Seven Things I'm thankful for
1. Good friends - I am blessed with some really great friends. The Drabeks in Indiana, Clint in St. Louis Park, all the goofy people I work with, the mad Welshman Chris, and best of all, my long-lost Brother Mike in England. There are others too numerous to list here. You know who you are.
2. An excellent job - Really, how many of you have a job you actually enjoy? I feel really lucky to have found this work.
3. A beautiful home - Chateau Du Mertz (also known as Ethel) is a warm and comfortable oasis.
4. A wonderful family - I have three Brothers and three Sisters, the best Mother in the world, various Aunts and Uncles, Nieces and Nephews, and Cousins galore. And I love 'em all.
5. Cool hobbies - I love rollercoasters, computers, music, movies, books, gardening, and taking naps. Who can argue the fun of those?
6. A public forum - This website gives me an opportunity to flap my lips (or fingers, as it were) about anything that strikes me. An opportunity that reaches instantly around the entire world. How can I not be thankful for that?
7. A loving Husband - Fred is my life, my love, and the center of my Universe. I love you with all my heart, Honey, and I can't wait to get home to you each night. Life with you is a Pip!
December 18, 2002
Vanity, thy name is ME
I made Carnival of the Vanities #13. I'm almost famous!
Okay, I'm not even close to being famous. But this IS the kind of thing that can give a guy a really big skull.
Thanks to Alex at Heretical Ideas. Smart-assedness at its best.
December 17, 2002
Seven Phrases I will not say
1. "Shizzle my nizzle." No. Absolutely not. Stop with the ghetto-speak. Especially if you're white.
2. "No war for oil." Why not? I say we go for the war, and hope for lots of oil. Oil is where it's at, man. Petrochemicals are the foundation of our society. Without petrochemicals, my career in IT is basically shot in the ass. (Never mind that the Iraq situation has very little to do with oil.)
3. "That is so gay." Anyone who knows anything about me can probably figure out where I'm coming from on this.
4. "I really admire Michael Jackson." Okay, that's a gimmee.
5. "I really admire Barbra Streisand." That one's not even funny.
6. "Let's go see 'Bowling For Columbine'." Ack!
7. "In with anger, out with Love." Oh, fuck you and your loopy New Age spiritual touchy-feely crap. Maybe anger serves a definite purpose. You ever think about that? You think maybe we'll explode if we sit around acting like Love is the only valid emotion? I say, in with anger, out with a combination of psychology and extreme violence.
Operation Marley
Mike at ColdFury.com has a great rant about a couple in Vancouver who have paid for an Anti-Christmas billboard.
While I heartily believe that people should form their own opinions, I object to being publicly slammed for it. A big ol' billboard telling me what a greedy pig I am makes me more than a little angry.
So why not channel that anger? I think the Williams need a good example of Christmas Cheer. So I encourage everyone to send them a lovely Christmas Card. Let's blanket them with Love and thoughtfulness.
Operation Marley:
Please send a nice Christmas Card to:
Valerie and Trevor Williams
Oak Bay
Victoria, BC
Canada
Be gracious and polite! Now is not the time to let Satan hijack your tongue or your pen! The object of this exercise is to show the Williams just what the Christmas Spirit really is.
(Disclaimer: I compiled this address by poking at the web. It's all publicly available information. While I could narrow it down even further, this should be sufficient. Oak Bay has a population of about 17,000. I suspect that the post office knows where the Williamses live, what with the recent publicity.)
Update: According to my local post office, it costs sixty cents to send a card from Minneapolis to the Vancouver area. I'm assuming that rate will be constant throughout the US. Add stamps accordingly.
Also, I am NOT putting a return address on the card, simply because that puts a bit more pressure on the Post Office to deliver it. What else are they going to do with it? I'll bet if they get balky, a good load of them will cause someone to track down the Williams.
Gun Control
Read here for a thoughtful and intelligent essay on the subject of Gun Control.
December 16, 2002
Go me!
I made Carnival of the Vanities #12 with my Keillor fisking. Wahoo!
Thanks, Lawrence! (If only I'd been around last Wednesday when it actually happened.)
December 14, 2002
Out and about
Off for the weekend. Back tomorrow. Be good!
December 12, 2002
Slapping down the Anti-War freaks
Michael Medved is now my hero.
Ooof
Brain burnt. Four solid days of Active Directory and Windows 2000 Advanced Server creates way too much friction in the brain stem. Which leads to overheating. Which leads to Medium Well. Would you like soup or salad with your brain?
One more day. Then a trip to South Dakota. When will it all end?
December 10, 2002
Loudmouth Countdown
Jesse Watch
28
Days Remaining
(I'm away from my editing software, and can't generate any new ones.)
December 09, 2002
December 08, 2002
December 07, 2002
Dancing Fools
There seems to be a large group of dancers in my basement. Maybe too much Hard Lemonade. Definitely too much Donna Summer.
Rushing around
No time for posting. Getting ready for party. Call back later!
(Holly! Stars! Presents! Mistletoe!)
December 06, 2002
bursts into tears
Spammer gets spammed, cries like a little girl
Link and title cheerfully stolen from Jim Treacher
I'm in need of a Cream Tea
Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!
How British are you?
this quiz was made by alanna
Watch out for the Welsh
A question for my Welsh friend, Chris. What's up with this? I didn't know Bingo was a contact sport.
Curious
From what Political Party is this Policy statement taken?
9. All citizens of the State shall be equal as regards rights and duties.
10. The first duty of every citizen must be to work mentally or physically. The activities of the individual may not clash with the interests of the whole, but must proceed within the frame of the community and be for the general good.
Therefore we demand:
11. That all unearned income, and all income that does not arise from work, be abolished.
12. Since every war imposes on the people fearful sacrifices in life and property, all personal profit arising from the war must be regarded as a crime against the people. We therefore demand the total confiscation of all war profits whether in assets or material.
13. We demand the nationalization of businesses which have been organized into cartels.
14. We demand that all the profits from wholesale trade shall be shared out.
15. We demand extensive development of provision for old age.
16. We demand the creation and maintenance of a healthy middle-class, the immediate communalization of department stores which will be rented cheaply to small businessmen, and that preference shall be given to small businessmen for provision of supplies needed by the State, the provinces and municipalities.
17. We demand a land reform in accordance with our national requirements, and the enactment of a law to confiscate from the owners without compensation any land needed for the common purpose. The abolition of ground rents, and the prohibition of all speculation in land.
Go here for the answer.
(Found via insignificant thoughts)
NAYYYY-VEEEE Seal
Ventura speaks. Or snorts, or burbles, or whatever he does.
"Q What problems do you foresee for Gov.-elect Tim Pawlenty?
A The budget. I tried to fix it last January so really I have no sympathy because the reason the budget problem is here today is because of the leadership of the Legislature last year. That they pushed it off so now they have the problem and I don't."
Well, you didn't so much try to fix it as dictate how it should be. If you weren't so busy being a whiney baby, you could have worked something out with the legislature. No, you'd rather pout because they wouldn't play nice.
See you, ya ignorant twit. No, wait. I won't see you. You're losing your two-headed calf status, and the media will once again ignore you. Bye!
December 05, 2002
Go here now
I can't believe I neglected to add Achewood to my blogroll.
I am mortified at this injustice. Go read Achewood right now! Save my soul from the pit of fiery pain.
Not reading Achewood makes Baby Jesus cry.
Xmas DecorXtions
There's a tree in the Dining room! Covered in ornaments and pine cone lights! It's Christmas! It's wild! It's not to be believed!
Enough with the hyperbole. It's just a $13 Walmart tree that I've had for eight years. Settle down already.
I love Christmas!
When Worlds Collide
Every once in a while, I get a reminder that the world is a strange place.
Imagine having Al Roker over so that you can cook him a meal from a 1950's cookbook. Just imagine it. You can't, can you?
Go to the link. Life is just plain weird sometimes.
December 04, 2002
In Thrall, Part II
When I brought up The Sims Online with Fred tonight, I was shocked to find out that he'd been checking into it already. He even knew the prices.
He gave his blessing, which was thoroughly surprising, though he also asked that I limit it to specific "Sims Nights".
More thought is required. I wonder if they'll have a Mac client right away? I'd rather run it on the Mac. (Fred would rather I did, as well. Greedy thing, always hogging Norman for himself.)
Dirt Begone
Did a major purge of the Dining Room tonight. We have a bay window in there, and for two years it's been overwhelmed with potted plants.
I have also been overwhelmed with potted plants, which means that said potted plants have been neglected. Some died, some were shadows of their former glory, and some were just plain ugly. So quite a few were excised, ruthlessly. (I wonder where Ruth is?)
The bay window now holds four violets, a sheffelera, and a Christmas Cactus that is about to bloom, much to my astonishment. Last year it bloomed for the first time ever, in the seven years I've had it. A single solitary flower. This year, there'll be at least eight.
Add that to the amazing bloom ratio for violets, and I've had a banner year. (I have a habit of killing off violets.)
It's just a shame that Emperor Chang, the stalwart Jade Plant, died under my watch. My brother Wayne was most distressed. I have several scions of him in a pot, however. I'm hoping that one of them will catch fire, and we'll be able to coronate Chang II.
Oh, and four out of the five geraniums that hit by the frost (before I managed to get them in) have sprouted. Hoorah!
I'm a plant geek, though not nearly the geek I used to be.
My, this post has rambled. What was I originally talking about? Oh, yeah. The dining room is clean. Tomorrow night the tree goes up in the bay window. With my little homemade Christmas village underneath, created in homage to the set that my Mother has. Amazing what you can do with cardboard and lights.
In Thrall
I am starting to fall victim to the siren call of The Sims Online.
I've avoided MMOGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Games) like Everquest and Ultima Online, because they have a habit of turning into virtual Crack. (The term "Evercrack" is more descriptive than you would think.)
But The Sims Online is right up my alley. And I think that part of the reason is that it's designed to be a creative exercise, rather than just a "kill 'em all" exercise. Plus it seems designed to be easily played for less than 20 hours a week. (The standard average for other MMOGs.)
Hmmm. I'll have to think about this.
Jingle Bells
Snowed last night.
A light powder, a dusting, the ultra-fluffy cellophane kind of snow. The snow that sparkles like the diamonds you see in television commercials but never in real life. It's really pretty.
And festive as hell. I feel Christmas just around the corner.
Get out the Holly!
December 03, 2002
Tuesday afternoon
Busy day. No time for internet foolishness...
Okay, a little foolishness. But no more!
December 02, 2002
Back from the dead
Nothing like a headcold to disrupt your life. Yep, I'm still alive. Spent the past couple of days recuperating. Should be up to speed by the end of the week, barring anything irritating like a massive bus accident or flesh-eating viruses.