Halftime
by Aaron Ziegler

Chapter 1: A Timely Arrival

   "RANMA YOU JERK!!!" The sight of a handsome, pigtailed
teenaged boy in a red Chinese shirt flying through the wall of
the Tendo Dojo was not a new one. Had any of Ranma's neighbors
been watching, they would not have been surprised, nor would they
have cared. The fights between Ranma and Akane were well known,
both for their frequency and the seemingly excessive amount of
punishment inflicted on the combatants and the surrounding area.
Ranma sat up as a furious teenaged girl stormed out of the dojo,
carrying a bandaged and equally angry piglet under her arm.
Having just returned from an afternoon jog, she was wearing
jogging shorts and a red and blue T-shirt. A red headband was
wrapped around a head of short, black hair. The piglet, oddly
enough, wore a yellow and black striped bandana around its neck.
   "Akane, really! I only accidentally dropped P-Chan into that
dog kennel!" Ranma protested, giving Akane a desperate grin. The
little black piglet in question squealed, and stuck his tongue
out at Ranma. Only a sudden, nearly uncontrollable urge for self-
preservation kept Ranma from sticking his own tongue out in
return.
   "I don't believe you," Akane said coldly. With her free hand,
she hefted a huge, wooden mallet, produced, apparently, from
nowhere.
   Just as Akane was about to give Ranma a royal pounding, there
was a loud thunderclap and a bright flash directly above them.
The boy, the girl, and the pig glanced upward, just in time to
see a silver flash streak across the sky and disappear in the
distance. "What was that!?" gasped Ranma.
   "I-I don't know," answered Akane, her anger temporarily
stifled by the strange sight. "It didn't look like lightning, and
there isn't a cloud in the sky."
   Seemingly concerned, P-Chan squealed loudly, and struggled
free of Akane's grasp. He raced out of the yard. "Wait, P-Chan!"
called Akane, but the little black pig was out of sight.
   "He'll be fine," reassured Ranma.
   Akane did not look reassured. "Like you care, Ranma!" She was
about to go after P-Chan, when the two of them heard a high-
pitched whine, like a distant jet engine. Looking up again, they
saw the silver object again streaking through the sky,
approaching from the opposite direction that they had seen it
disappear.
   "Could that thing have circled around the globe already?"
Ranma asked in disbelief.
   "Look Ranma! It's stopped right above us!" True enough, the
strange silver object was hovering above the Tendo yard, close
enough to make out some details. It was vaguely egg shaped, and
had fan-like wings protruding from either side. Then, it started
to descend.
   "It's gonna land Akane! You'd better get someplace safe,"
Ranma warned, jumping to his feet.
   "You idiot! I can handle anything you can!"
   "Sorry, I forgot what kind of violent tomboy you were," Ranma
grinned. Akane scowled, but before she could do any life-altering
damage to Ranma, the silver egg had landed.
   With the egg on the ground, Ranma and Akane could see more of
the topside of the thing. There was a glass cockpit, and a large,
orange fin mounted on the back. The word "Epoch" was printed
clearly on the side. With a whirr, the fan-like wings folded into
the sides of the egg. "Is it a spaceship?" whispered Akane. Ranma
just shrugged, staring at the odd vehicle with wide eyes.
   Then, with a loud hiss, the cockpit began to slide open.
Without a word, Akane and Ranma backed away slightly. Suddenly, a
boy jumped out of the silver egg. He had spiky red hair, and was
wearing blue overalls, leather boots, and a red bandana. He had a
long katana sheathed at his side. Next to jump down was a girl
with thick glasses. She wearing an orange tunic, a short dress,
and a helmet with a small antenna. She carried a satchel strapped
around her shoulder. The last to emerge was a blonde girl wearing
a tear-shaped pendant. She was wearing a loose white blouse, and
had her hair tied in a ponytail. She had a crossbow strapped to
her back. The three seemed confused by something, and were soon
deep in conversation with each other.
   Seeing that the strange visitors were human, Ranma and Akane
relaxed a little. The blonde girl was the first to notice them.
"Oh, hello!" she called, waving cheerfully. The other two stopped
talking, and turned to see who she was talking to.
   "Er, hi," replied Ranma, with typical flair.
   To Ranma's surprise, the redhead asked him what year it was.
"Er, 1995," Ranma stuttered at the odd question.
   The three newcomers seemed surprised. "1995?" repeated the
blonde girl. She turned to the girl with the helmet. "I thought
that we were going to 2300!"
   "So did I," replied the other. "Perhaps something went wrong
with the temporal motivators." She looked around, her glasses
glinting in the sunlight. "Still, something seems wrong. It's
only four years until the Day of Lavos. Where are all the domes?
The advanced technology?"
   "Um, excuse me," began Akane, a little quicker to recover than
Ranma, "but could someone please explain WHAT'S GOING ON!?!"
   The three newcomers jumped, and then looked sheepish. The
redhead apologized, and introduced himself as Crono. After
introducing the blond girl as Marle, and the helmeted girl as
Lucca, he explained that the three of them were looking for his
mother.
   "Your mother?" asked Ranma, a sudden, wistful picture of his
own mother, Nodoka, appearing in his mind.
   "Yes," answered Lucca. "She was chasing Crono's eleven cats
when she disappeared. Have you seen her?"
   Ranma paled, and edged away, "C-CATS?" he mumbled. "E-
ELEVEN!?"
   Akane sighed and quickly whapped Ranma on the head with her
hammer, causing the three guests to start in surprise, both at
the casual nature of Akane's violent action and in wondering
where the hammer had come from. "Snap out of it, Ranma. There
aren't any cats here."
   She addressed Crono. "I'm sorry, we haven't seen your mother.
But with eleven cats, she should attract some attention, wherever
she is."
   The three looked disappointed, Crono most of all. Shoving
eldritch feline horrors from his mind, Ranma came to a decision.
"No one should be kept from their mother," he announced bitterly.
"By the way, I'm Ranma, and that's Akane. We'll help you find
her."
   Crono looked grateful, but told Ranma that there was probably
little he could do to help.
   "What do you mean?" said Ranma, slightly miffed. "She's gotta
be somewhere, doesn't she?"
   "That's the problem," replied Lucca. "She doesn't have to be
somewhere. She could be somewhen."
   "Huh?" said Akane and Ranma in unison.
   "The Epoch is a time machine," Lucca continued. "When Crono's
mother disappeared, she fell into a time Gate. We aren't sure
where in time she ended up. We were headed to the year 2300, but
for some reason, we ended up here."
   Ranma and Akane stared blankly, trying to absorb all this.
   "Well, we really should be going," reminded Marle. Crono
nodded and the three of them started back toward the Epoch.
   Suddenly, there was a strange ringing sound, like a bell. Then
they heard a rapid clicking sound followed by a crash, and the
Epoch flew into the air. Crono abruptly found himself on the
ground with a bicycle and a purple-haired rider on top of him. He
gasped for breath as the girl looked down at him with a puzzled
expression. She said, "You not Ranma!" Meanwhile, the Epoch
crashed to the ground on the other side of the yard.
   Crono yelled at the strange girl to get off of him. Seeming
almost hurt by his vehemence, the cyclist pulled her bicycle off
of the prone figure.
   As Crono started to get up, the girl spied Ranma. "There you
are, Ranma!" she shouted happily, dropping the bicycle onto Crono
once again. She tackled Ranma in an embrace.
   "Um, hi Shampoo." Noting Akane's cold stare, Ranma pried
himself loose from Shampoo's amorous grasp, and said, "Shampoo,
we have some guests."
   Crono had pulled himself out from under the bicycle again, and
was staring at Shampoo angrily. "That's Crono."
   "The Epoch..." whispered Lucca in horror, and ran over to the
fallen time machine.
   "That's Lucca."
   "What have you done?" shrieked Marle.
   "And that's Marle."
   "They seem like they too grumpy," said Shampoo.
   Lucca was crouched by the time machine. The machine itself was
badly dented, and there were bits and pieces of delicate
machinery strewn about it. Lucca began muttering to herself as
she surveyed the damage. "This bird is totaled. It's gonna take
me a while to fix it. I'm not even sure I can fix it. I'm no
Belthasar."
   "You mean we're stuck here? Forever?" demanded Marle.
   "Unless I can get Epoch up and running again, I'm afraid so.
The regular time Gates are closed, and I don't think there was
ever one here anyway."
   Shaking with rage, Marle unslung her crossbow and leveled it
at Shampoo. "This is your doing!"
   Quickly Ranma jumped between the angry girl and Shampoo,
"Don't hurt her! It was an accident!"
   Wasting no opportunity, Shampoo embraced Ranma. "Ranma save
Shampoo!" she cooed.
   "What are you doing, Ranma?" said Akane, furious.
   "Out of the way Ranma! I have no quarrel with you!" Marle
loaded the crossbow. "This quarrel's for her!"
   Then, Crono was beside her. He gently pushed the crossbow
down, and told Marle that revenge would solve nothing. Marle
still looked angry, but acquiesced.
   Struggling briefly, Ranma once again disengaged himself from
Shampoo. He looked at her sternly, and she looked at the ground,
guiltily. "You should apologize, Shampoo," he said.
   "Shampoo sorry she wreck machine," she said.
   Akane, having calmed down a bit now that there was a little
more distance between Ranma and Shampoo, said, "So, I suppose
you're stuck here for a while." Crono nodded. "Then you'll need
someplace to stay. Our house is pretty crowded, but we should be
able to find someplace to put you."
   "Say, why are you here, Shampoo?" asked Akane, suddenly
remembering their unwelcome Chinese visitor.
   "Shampoo make ramen delivery to Tendo's," she answered,
gesturing to her bicycle. There were several boxes of ramen
noodles loaded on the bicycle, and oddly, they were all intact.
   "But why?" wondered Akane, "I was cooking tonight!" Abruptly,
she glanced at Ranma, who was edging away, grinning sheepishly.
"RANMA YOU IDIOT!" Raising her hammer high, Akane lunged after
the fleeing boy.
* * * * * *
   Later that night, Crono, Marle, and Lucca were sitting at the
Tendo dinner table. They were introduced in turn to Genma
Saotome, Ranma's father, Soun Tendo, Akane's father, and Nabiki
and Kasumi, Akane's sisters. Genma was a tall, stern-looking man
wearing a karate gi. Perched on his nose were a pair of thin,
wire-frame specticles, and wrapped around his head was a turban
of white cloth (which did little to conceal the fact that Genma
hadn't a hair on his head). Soun was equally tall, equally stern,
and equally dressed, but more slender than Genma. Also unlike
Genma, Soun possessed a full head of shoulder-length black hair,
as well as a proud black moustache. Nabiki, the middle of Soun's
three children (Akane being the youngest, and Kasumi the oldest),
was a tall, slender, attractive girl. Her brown hair fell just
short of her shoulders, and the bangs were cut short, forming a
sort of frame around her face. She was wearing blue jeans and a
striped T-shirt, and possessed an almost perpetual expression of
cynical amusement. Kasumi, of an even hight with Nabiki, instead
wore an almost unbearably innocent expression on her pretty face.
She was wearing a modest dress and an apron. Her hair was also
brown, though a darker shade than Nabiki's, and was tied back in
a long, lusterous ponytail.
   Akane had made good on her promise to cook dinner, as there
were several unidentifiable dishes on the table in addition to
the boxes of ramen. Without exception, these dishes had remained
untouched. Marle was startled to see one of Akane's dishes edging
toward her bowl of ramen. Thinking quickly, she grabbed her
crossbow and blasted the offending meal. It keened shrilly, and
expired. With the exceptions of Crono and Lucca, no one seemed to
notice the violent exchange.
   "So, where are you and your friends from, Crono?" asked
Kasumi.
   Crono started to respond that they were from the past, but
noticed Akane gesturing at him not to tell. Crono was confused,
but answered that the three of them were from the town of Truce.
Nabiki watched this exchange carefully, realizing that secrets
were being kept. She smiled. There was good money in secrets, and
she had a knack for finding secrets out.
   Akane, for her part, was relieved. She didn't like to think of
what Nabiki would do if she knew that they had a time machine,
even a broken one.
   Lucca, quick to catch on to Akane's subterfuge, continued, "We
can't get back to...er, Truce, our home town, until we fix
our...um, jet."
   "You have your own jet?" Nabiki asked. 'These people must be
loaded,' she thought. She reflexively used her chopsticks to stab
a renegade dish that was threatening her ramen. Again, no one
paid any attention, and Crono and his friends were starting to
get used to it.
   Marle nodded to Nabiki, and changed the subject. "So, what do
you people do here?"
   Genma beamed proudly, "We teach the Anything-Goes style of
martial arts."
   "Anything-Goes?" asked Lucca curiously.
   "Anything!" replied Genma. "An adept at Anything-Goes martial
arts can overcome any challenge."
   "And I'm the best there is!" announced Ranma cheerfully
through a mouthful of ramen. Without warning, Genma grabbed Ranma
and chucked him out a window. Ranma's scream was heard, and then
a splash.
   "You will have to pardon my son. Sometimes he forgets his
humility and must be disciplined."
   The front door of the Tendo home slammed open, and an
unfamiliar, but sopping wet, red-headed girl glared at them.
   "Um, who's that?" asked Lucca.
   "Don't drip inside the house Ranma!" called Kasumi. "I just
cleaned."
   "Ranma?" asked Marle, startled. A second glance at the girl
revealed that she was wearing Ranma's clothes, and her hair,
though red instead of black, was braided in the same short
pigtail. "What happened to you?"
   "Ah, a tragic story, that," began Genma, oblivious to the
approaching Ranma, who had dried off outside. "You see, my son is
the victim of a tragic curse, so that whenever-"
   "Why don't we tell them about your curse, Dad!" yelled Ranma
as she grabbed Genma and threw him out the window. A second
splash was heard.
   A moment later, a large panda stood in the doorway wearing a
tattered gi, glasses hanging from one ear. It held up a wooden
sign that read, [I was going to get to that.]
   After staring for a moment, Lucca shrugged and said, "I've
seen weirder."
   "You don't know the half of it," muttered Nabiki drily.
   Over the next couple of minutes, Ranma and Genma (through
sign-language, of course) related the tragic tale of their ill-
fated expedition to the cursed training grounds of Jusenkyo. "So,
you've been looking for a cure ever since?" asked Marle.
   "Yup," answered Ranma in her new, high-pitched voice. "Almost
had one a couple of times, but something always seems to go
wrong, and I stay stuck like this."
   They all ate in silence for a few more minutes, and then
dinner was over. Genma held up a sign saying, [Come Ranma, we
must train.] Ranma sighed and stood up. She held out her hand,
and Kasumi handed her a teapot full of hot water. Ranma poured
the water on herself, thus returning to his proper form, and left
the room with his father to apply the same treatment to him in
privacy. Crono, Lucca, and Marle watched this exchange with
interest. Evidently this sort of thing had become routine for the
two families.
   As father and son headed out to the dojo, Crono asked if he
could watch. "Sure," said Ranma. "Are you a fighter?" Crono
looked at him ironically, and nodded. "Great! Maybe we can spar."
Crono mentioned that he was only adept as a swordsman, and
pointed out his katana for emphasis. "That's fine. A master of
Anything-Goes martial arts can fight anyone." Genma cuffed him
lightly. "Not that I'm a master yet, of course," he added,
throwing Genma a disgruntled look.
* * * * * *
   In the dojo, Crono sat and watched Ranma and Genma fight. He
laughed at some of the petty tricks they each used (usually
effectively) to distract the other to get an effective punch or
kick in.
   "Look!" shouted Ranma. "It's Mom!"
   "WHAT? NODOKA?" exclaimed Genma, whirling around. Ranma swept
Genma's legs out from under him, and he fell to the ground with a
grunt. "I'll teach you to respect your elders!" Genma growled.
Then he noticed Crono grinning. "Oh, and I suppose you think that
you could do better?" Genma asked Crono.
   Crono replied that he could. "I'd like to see that," said
Ranma. In answer, Crono unsheathed his Rainbow. Then he
confidently announced that he didn't want to hurt Ranma too
badly, and set the katana against the wall. To replace it, he
took a mop that had been left in the dojo. He gave the mop a few
swings, testing its balance and then moved to the center of the
dojo.
   "Begin!" said Genma, having moved away from the two
combatants. Wasting no time, Ranma threw a punch, which Crono
easily sidestepped. Ranma ducked Crono's returning slash, and
swept Crono to the floor. Almost instantly, Crono was on his feet
again. Crono and Ranma each jumped away from each other, and then
leapt high into the air toward each other. They met in mid air,
and this time Crono gained the upper hand. He struck Ranma with
the mop, and Ranma lost his balance. Crono landed on his feet,
and Ranma landed on his head. Ranma stood up and winced as he
felt the developing bump on his head.
   Crono asked Ranma if he was ready to conceed. "Are you
kidding?" he laughed. "That was nothing. Let's see how you can
handle this!" Ranma ran towards Crono, who warily took up a
defensive posture. "Tenshin-Amaguri-Ken!" shouted Ranma
gleefully, as he threw punch after punch with blinding speed.
Crono managed to block or dodge the first hundred or so, but
eventually, Ranma's incredible speed broke through Crono's
considerable defense. Crono was thrown to the other side of the
dojo, where he made a tidy, Crono-shaped hole in the wall.
   Ranma grinned. Then, a disheveled and thoroughly irritated
Crono crawled out of his hole. "So are you ready to conceed?"
mocked Ranma. Crono glared at him, and uttered the word
'Confuse'. Ranma was taken off guard as Crono abruptly leapt
close to him. Crono began running in a circle around Ranma, too
fast for the eye to follow. Ranma desperately kicked at a space
where he thought Crono would be. He wasn't. Ranma was rewarded
for his effort by a hard strike to the back that knocked him to
his knees. He quickly stood up again, just in time to receive a
second strike to the gut. A third hit soon followed. Ranma was
swaying dizzily. Suddenly, Crono stopped in front of the
bewildered fellow and delivered a vicious upward cut with the
mop, lifting Ranma into the air and sending him flying. Genma
winced at the specticle, and was glad that Crono had elected to
use the mop instead of his sword. Then Crono fell to the ground,
exhausted. Neither Ranma or Crono moved from where they lay.
   "Draw!" announced Genma. He looked at the battered dojo with a
sigh. "Soun's gonna have a fit," he muttered. "Then again, he
always does."
   Genma walked out of the dojo, and then came back in, carrying
a bucket of cold water. He splashed Crono, reviving him. He
splashed Ranma, who also revived and transformed. "Hey!"
sputtered Ranma. She looked at Genma, annoyed. Then she
remembered why she was on the floor, and looked at Crono with
respect. "You're pretty good!" she told him. "Of course, you
wouldn't have stood a chance if I hadn't been winded from
fighting Dad." Crono snorted, and mentioned that Ranma had at
least had a chance to warm up.
   Ranma looked ready to continue the argument, but Genma laid a
hand on their shoulders. "Now, now," he said, condescendingly,
"you can fight again later." Working as one, Crono and Ranma
grabbed Genma and chucked him outside, into the pond. The panda
surfaced and held up a sign, [Kids these days!] Laughing, Ranma
and Crono walked into the house, with the panda close behind.
* * * * * *
   When Marle saw the battered couple, she asked, "Crono! What
happened?" Crono explained that he and Ranma had just been
practicing. "Well, let me fix you up," replied Marle. "Aura."
Marle glowed slightly, and then touched Crono. Crono's minor
scratches and bruises closed up and healed. Marle then applied
the same treatment to Ranma.
   "Wow," said a wide-eyed Ranma. Looking around, she saw that
her father and the Tendos were similarly awed.
   Nabiki, on top of any situation, was the first to recover.
"How'd you do that?" she asked.
   "Huh?" answered Marle, startled. "I never really thought about
it. I just have this knack for healing people. Maybe it's part of
my royal heritage."
   At the words "royal heritage", a slow grin appeared on
Nabiki's face. One could almost hear cash registers tallying huge
sums of money in Nabiki's mind. "So your father's a king, then?"
   "Uh-huh. 'Course, we don't always see eye to eye. He wants me
to stay home and act like a good princess. But I couldn't let
Crono search for his mother without me. I guess I'm something of
a tomboy at heart."
   Ranma groaned at this. "Great. Another tomboy is all we need.
At least this one's cute."
   "YOU JERK!" Ranma was instantly flattened by Akane. No one
seemed to notice.
   Nabiki continues, "So, you ran away? Your father must miss
you." A newspaper headline appeared in Nabiki's mind: NABIKI
TENDO OF NERIMA RECIEVES 100,000,000 YEN FOR RETURN OF LOST
PRINCESS!
   "Oh, probably," replied Marle. "But he trusts me now, and I
don't think that he's worried about me."
   Nabiki's dream newspaper vanished, and she sighed, thinking,
'Well, she should still be rich. I may turn a profit out of this
yet.'
   Marle beamed, "Thanks for your concern, Nabiki!"
   "Anytime," Nabiki smiled.
   "Say," groaned a crushed Ranma, "can you do that healing thing
again?" Marle giggled at Ranma's pathetic state, and then healed
her. "I think I'm going to like having you around," said a
relieved Ranma.

Chapter 2: Class Time

   The next day, Crono and Marle, having nothing else to do while
Lucca tinkered with the Epoch, decided to accompany Ranma and
Akane to school. Ranma and Akane were happy to have the company,
and promised to show the two wayward time travelers around the
town of Nerima after school was over.
   As they neared the school, however, Ranma and Akane became
apprehensive. "Um, guys, if anything...unusual should happen,
just let us take care of it," warned Akane.
   Crono asked what she meant by unusual. "Oh, like a maniac
carrying a wooden sword attacking me," said Ranma, cheerfully.
"You know, that kind of unusual."
   "What?" asked Marle, confused and alarmed.
   Exasperated, Akane replied, "It's this guy named Tatewaki
Kunou. He decided that I'm the girl for him, and he somehow got
the impression that Ranma and I are a...couple."
   "A completely baseless claim, of course," hastened Ranma.
   "Of course," Akane was quick to agree. "But Kunou thinks so,
and so every day, sometimes several times a day, Kunou tries to
kill Ranma to win me."
   "That's awful!" exclaimed Marle. "And he never gives up?"
   "Nope, his ego's too big," answered Ranma.
   "Almost as big as Ranma's," grinned Akane, earning a
threatening look from Ranma.
   They continued walking for a while. Soon, the school came into
view. "So, where's Kunou?" wondered Akane. "He usually shows up
by now..."
   "You called for me, lovely one?" said a new voice. Ranma and
Akane groaned in unison.
   Crono and Marle turned to the sound of the voice, and saw
someone who could only be Tatewaki Kunou. He was standing
proudly, looking tall, dark, and handsome in his traditional
samurai robes. He smiled at Akane. Then he noticed Crono and
Marle. "Ah, I see that you have guests. A fair maiden, and," he
scowled, "another young man. Undoubtedly another suitor. They
seem to gather about you like flies around a lovely mare." Crono
and Marle tried to correct him, but he continued on without
waiting, "Fortunately, I am well trained in the swatting of such
flies!" He glared at Crono. "What is your name, knave, that I may
carve it on your tomb?"
   Crono began to answer, when Kunou interrupted again, "Ah, but
it is more appropriate that I give my name first." Crono was
beginning to understand why Akane and Ranma disliked this fellow.
Kunou drew his wooden bokken, and held it high. "I am Tatewaki
Kunou, the undefeated-" Kunou faltered a moment in his speech
with a hateful glance at Ranma, "the occasionally defeated Blue
Thunder of Furinkan High!" A lightening bolt arced across the
sky, accompanied by a crash of thunder. Kunou posed arrogantly
for a few seconds more, and then looked down his nose at Crono.
"And who might you be?"
   Crono snorted, thoroughly unimpressed. He spoke his name, and
then lifted his arms into the air chanting the word 'Lightning'.
Another bolt of lightning lit up the sky. But this time, the
lightning struck Kunou's bokken.
   Smoke rising from his body, a blackened Kunou looked at Crono
in amazement. He looked at his splintered bokken and blinked
twice. Then, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he collapsed
into unconsciousness.
   "Wow!" said Akane. "Are you a sorcerer?"
   Crono shook his head, but admitted that he did know some
magic, as did Lucca and Marle.
   "Can you teach me how to do that?" asked Ranma.
   Again Crono shook his head. He explained that he had, more or
less, been granted his magical abilities by a creature named
Spekkio.
   "Spekkio?" asked Akane.
   "He calls himself 'The Master of War'," Marle responded. "But
he really is a nice fellow. He lives in a wierd place called 'The
End of Time', which is supposed to be sort of outside of time or
something. Lucca could explain it better. Anyway, if we ever get
the Epoch fixed, we'll take you to visit him."
   Ranma chuckled gleefully, imagining the look on his father's
face after Ranma blasted him with some lightning. Then, another
thought struck him, and as usual, his mouth kicked in before his
mind had time to examine it, "Maybe Spekkio could teach you how
to cook, Akane! It would take really powerful magic to pull that
one off."
   Marle and Crono winced at the spectical of wanton violence
which followed. With a sigh, Marle healed Ranma and dragged him,
still groggy, to his feet. The three rushed to catch up with
Akane, who was storming off toward the school.
* * * * * *
   Later, Akane and Ranma were explaining Crono and Marle's
presence to the teacher of their World History class. The teacher
looked at the newcomers haggardly. A few years of teaching at
Furinkan High had changed her from a promising young teacher into
a wretched crone, and she had little tolerence for surprises.
"Get to your seats then," she snarled. "Don't think that you'll
get any special treatment in my class just because you're
guests!"
   Meekly, Crono and Marle walked to their indicated seats. Marle
flipped idly through the history text, and suddenly realized that
something was horribly wrong. "Look, Crono," she whispered, "the
continents are all wrong!"
   Crono quickly flipped his book open to the same page. Indeed,
the geography was wildly different, not the least of which was
that there were too many continents. Shocked, he remarked that it
would have taken quite an catastrophy to cause that much change
in a mere millenium. A catastrophy at least as devastating as the
one they had witnessed in 12,000 B.C., when the floating
continents of the Enlightened Ones had crashed to the earth.
   "Think, Crono!" she hissed, "There can't have been a
catastrophy! We saw the world in 1999, and it looks nothing like
this! There's no way that they're gonna have domed cities and
high-tech highways four years from now if there's ANOTHER
catastrophy between now and then! We have to tell Lucca!"
   Abruptly, two erasers, thrown with the olympean accuracy that
could only be the product of years of difficult teaching, struck
Crono and Marle in the head. "Into the hall you two!" the teacher
snapped.
   "Don't worry," whispered Ranma with a smirk, "You haven't
really been shown the Furinkan experience until you've spent some
time in the hall holding buckets of water!" He was rewarded for
his ill-timed taunt with another airborn eraser.
   "Show them how it's done, Ranma," cackled the teacher.
   Soon, true to Ranma's word, the three of them were standing in
the hall holding buckets of water.
   "It's gonna be a long day," thought Marle.
* * * * * *
   After a long day, school was finally over. Marle and Crono
resolved to stay with Lucca rather than repeat that experience
again. For now, though, they were willing to let Akane and Ranma
show them around town. Soon, the foursome arrived at Ucchan's.
Ranma, thinking with his stomach as usual, had made a beeline for
the okonomiyaki joint. Akane merely sighed.
   "This is Ucchan's," said Akane. "This is where Ukyou, one of
Ranma's other fiancees, makes okonomiyaki."
   This was the first time that Crono and Marle had heard about
any fiancees at all. Crono asked Akane what she meant.
   She suddenly colored, "Oh, that's right. You don't know.
Usually it's one of the first topics that come up when we meet
new people. At Ranma's birth his father and mine promised each
other that Ranma would marry me or one of my sisters. So we were
betrothed-"
   "-against our wills, of course," interjected Ranma.
   "Of course," Akane quickly added.
   Marle recalled their earlier run-in with Kunou. "So, Kunou's
suspicion that you two are a couple isn't totally baseless."
   "Of course it is! exclaimed Ranma. "We're fiancees, but
Kunou's a total idiot if he thinks I could actually be attracted
to that uncute, violent, urk-"
   A well-placed hammer quickly silenced that particular train of
thought. Akane continued, "Anyway, Ranma tends to collect
fiancees like most people collect pocket lint."
   "Hey-" protested Ranma, rubbing his head.
   Akane steamrolled on, "It was eventually discovered that he
had another fiancee already, Ukyou, and it didn't take him long
to pick up a third-"
   "Hey, I wouldn't really call Shampoo a fiancee-"
   "SHE certainly thinks she is," countered Akane.
   Marle broke in, "Shampoo? That psychotic girl on the bike?"
   Akane nodded. "Ranma beat her in a fight, and by the laws of
her villiage, she must marry him."
   Crono recalled how Shampoo had been draped over Ranma back at
the Tendo home, and nodded with sympathy. Akane continued, "His
other fiancee, as I mentioned, is Ukyou."
   "Really we're just friends," assured Ranma. "We have been
since childhood-"
   "RANCHAN!" exclaimed a voice. Ranma turned just in time to
recieve an armload of Ukyou. In Crono's opinion, Ukyou looked a
bit more friendly than 'just friends', but he decided to reserve
judgement. Getting a better look at Ukyou, Crono and Marle could
see a pretty girl with long black hair tied with a red bow. She
had some kind of shovel strapped to her back. When she released
Ranma, they could see that she had a bandolier of sharpened
spatulas strapped across her chest. They suddenly realized that
the shovel was not a shovel at all, but a gigantic spatula. There
was something familiar about her, though Crono and Marle couldn't
quite place it. Ukyou noticed the two, and asked, "Who are your
friends, Ranchan?"
   Ranma introduced the two to Ukyou, and to their surprise,
explained the whole time-travel situation to her. Evidently,
Ukyou was someone in whom Ranma placed a great deal of trust.
Ukyou took every crazy word with great solemnity, and when Ranma
was finished, she asked them to come inside, so that they could
talk over okonomiyaki.
   Seated at a booth, Marle and Crono watched with great interest
as Ukyou prepared the food. She moved incredibly fast, and in
mere moments, five steaming okonomiyakis flew through the air and
landed neatly on the table. Ukyou came over to join them.
   "So you fried that pompous Kunou," she asked with a smirk. "I
would have paid good money to see that. Of course you realize
that he is now honor-bound to defeat you."
   Crono shrugged indifference. He was confident in his ability
to defeat the arrogant fellow, with or without magic.
   "But more importantly," Ukyou continued, "you're stuck here in
this time until you can get your machine fixed."
   "Actually," said Marle, "it's not quite that simple. While
Crono and I were in class today, we discovered that this world is
all wrong! The geography is very different from what we remember,
the history books had no mention of the great war against Magus
in 600 A.D., and when we finally managed to find a book on
dinosaurs, we found that they had all been extinct long before
there were humans, and there was no mention of Reptites at all! I
don't think we're even on the same planet as before. We were
gonna tell Lucca when we got back."
   Ranma and Akane looked surprised, as this was the first they
had heard of this. Ukyou looked concerned. "This does sound
serious," she said. "Maybe you should ask Cologne. She's a pretty
wise old woman, and she might have some idea what went wrong."
   Ranma groaned, and Akane looked apprehensive, but she nodded
her agreement. Crono asked them who Cologne was.
   Ranma answered, "Cologne is Shampoo's great-grandmother."
Crono frowned, and Marle scowled. They had no real desire to meet
Shampoo again. Still, if she could help...
   "OK, we'll do it," said Marle.
   The five finished eating, and stood up. As Ranma, Akane,
Crono, and Marle left, Ukyou called out, "See you later, Ran-
chan!"
   As the foursome walked, Akane gleefully picked up their
conversation from where it had been interrupted by Ukyou. To
Ranma's dismay, she detailed how Ranma had ended up betrothed to
Ukyou. When she finished, the two were barely holding in their
laughter.
   Marle turned to Ranma with a stifled giggle, "You really chose
okonomiyaki over Ukyou? You really do think with your stomach,
don't you?"
   "Look, I was young," he grumbled. "I had no idea what Dad was
talking about! I didn't even know she was a girl then."
   Mercilessly, Akane continued, "That covers his fiancees, but
it only scratches the surface of his suitors."
   "Akane-" began Ranma desperately.
   "To start with, there's Kodachi Kunou, Tatewaki's sister,"
Ranma seemed to shudder briefly at her name. "She's a sadistic
psychopath. It's no wonder that she fell for Ranma."
   Angry, Ranma taunted, "If that's so, then why haven't you
fallen for me yet, you uncute tomboy!"
   "Idiot!" returned Akane, but was enjoying herself far too much
to smash Ranma. She continued, "Even better, she hates Ranma's
female form, and never seems to be able to discover that she is
the same person as Ranma! Which leads me to the best part of
all..."
   "Akane, PLEASE," Ranma pleaded desperately, now regretting his
taunt.
   "Tatewaki Kunou!" shouted Akane triumphantly. Ranma moaned.
"Kunou's other love is his little 'pig-tailed goddess', who is
none other than our dear Ranma in female form."
   At this, Crono and Marle collapsed to the ground in laughter.
It was a while before they could stand again, gasping for breath.
Akane looked viciously pleased, and her grin widened as she saw
Ranma scowling at her. "Are you finished," he asked her.
   "Well, I could tell them about Mikado and Picolette, but they
were really only one-night stands. Besides, they would be rather
anticlimactic at this point. At any rate, we're at Neko Hanten
already."
   The four walked into the Chinese restaurant. It was fairly
crowded that day, and Shampoo was working furiously. She ran from
table to table carrying dozens of bowls of ramen at a time. Every
now and then, without warning, another bowl of ramen would come
sailing through the air out of the kitchen. Shampoo caught every
one, and added it to the stack of bowls. When dropping a bowl of
ramen off at a table, she would always leave the bottommost bowl,
ensuring that none of the ramen she carried would get cold. It
was an extremely impressive scene as far as Crono and Marle were
concerned. To Akane and Ranma, it was just routine.
   The wizened voice of an old woman, evidently Cologne, came
from the kitchen. "Mousse, show our guests to the kitchen."
   A young man with long black hair, wearing white Chinese
garments came out of the kitchen. He had glasses thicker than
Lucca's, but they were pushed up onto the top of his head. He
wove his way uncertainly to the front door, and then addressed a
potted plant next to where the four were standing. "Please come
with me." He then turned, and walked into a wall. After standing
again, he squinted and looked in confusion at the wall.
   Again the old voice could be heard, "Idiot!" Cologne sighed,
and called, "Guests, could you show Mousse to the kitchen?"
   "Come on Mousse," said Akane, gently turning the befuddled boy
in the right direction.
   "Akane?" said Mousse, squinting at her. "You're the guest?"
   "Not just me. Mousse, this is Crono, and this is Marle."
   Mousse attempted to focus on the two newcomers without a great
deal of success. Finally he gave up and just said, "Pleased to
meet you." He then tried to focus on the fourth member. "And you
are...oh, it's you, Ranma." Mousse scowled.
   "RANMA?" said a familiar voice. Everyone winced at the sound
of a dozen ramen bowls crashing to the ground. Shampoo callously
punted Mousse out of the way, and grappled Ranma. "Ranma come to
visit Shampoo?"
   Marle walked over to where a battered Mousse was lying. She
healed him, earning an awed, but grateful look. Then Mousse's
face hardened, and he shouted, "Get away from her, Ranma!"
   Ranma was trying, without much luck, to do just that. Then the
old woman's voice came from the kitchen, "SHAMPOO!!!" Shampoo
cringed, and let go of Ranma. "They did not come here to see you!
Now, what happened to that ramen?"
   Shampoo looked guiltily at the large ramen mess on the ground.
"Sorry, great-grandmother," she said woefully.
   "Sorry isn't good enough! Now, clean up that mess, and get
back to work." With a longing glance at Ranma, Shampoo went to
get a mop.
   "I'll help you, Shampoo," offered Mousse, earning a hateful
look from Shampoo.
   But before Shampoo could answer, Cologne snapped, "Leave her
alone, Mousse, and get back here with those guests."
   The four guests carefully maneuvered Mousse back to the
kitchen. There, they finally got a good look at Cologne. Crono
and Marle were surprised to see what looked like a two-foot tall
wrinkled old gnome with long white hair and large round eyes,
balanced easily on a four-foot staff. Then they realized that it
was no gnome at all, but just a very old woman. "I was wondering
when you two would show up." She addressed Mousse. "Leave us.
What we are about to discuss is not for your ears."
   Slightly irritated, Mousse turned and walked into a broom
closet. A second later, he walked out of the broom closet with a
scowl, and left the kitchen through the proper exit. When he had
left, Cologne turned to her guests and asked, "So, where is the
frog-man?"
   "Frog-man?" gasped Marle. "How did you know about-"
   "When you get to be as old as I am, you tend to know many
things," snapped Cologne. "So, Frog is not here yet? No matter.
He'll be along eventually. I assume you have come here to ask me
what went wrong. You want to know what world you're on."
   Crono nodded. The old woman seemed satisfied, "Well, I cannot
help you." Crono and Marle looked crestfallen, though still awed
by Cologne's knowledge. "In my time, I have seen many, such as
yourself, who came to this world from another. In every case, the
method differed. You are the first I have seen to have arrived in
a silver bird. When I saw the silver streak in the sky, I knew
that I would be seeing you soon."
   Crono asked if there was nothing that she could do to help.
"Don't be insolent," the crone snapped. "I am helping! Knowledge
is power. Rest assured, that with the proper knowledge, you shall
find your way home. But, you must realize that you are going to
be spending quite a bit of time on this world before that
happens."
   "Now, I have a few things to tell you, so listen carefully.
First, beware the Sorcerer of Jusenkyo. Second, remember that the
laws of the Joketsuzoku tribe are not to be ignored. Third, and
most importantly, remember this: the child can be found to the
west of the village. Remember it!"
   Dutifully, Crono and Marle consigned the information to
memory. "You may also find it useful to have Lucca create a water
pistol, one with both hot and cold water. The uses for such a
thing should be obvious. One more thing. I have found that when
travellers such as yourself visit our planet, it is rarely by
chance. You were sent or brought here. For what purpose, I cannot
guess. That's all I can tell you, for now," said Cologne. "I wish
you luck on your journey. Now, unless you have further business
here, you may depart."
   The four of them made their way out of the restaurant, past a
dejected Shampoo. When they were outside, Marle said, "Wow."
   "I know what you mean," replied Akane. "Cologne really knows
her stuff. I think that she likes you," she added.
   Crono looked at her in astonishment, and remarked that Cologne
had been rude, insulting, and short-tempered. "Actually, she was
much nicer than usual today," answered Akane with a shrug.
   Crono found that hard to believe, but didn't press the point.
Then he suggested that they should return to the Tendo home. They
had much to discuss with Lucca. They could see the rest of Nerima
later. Ranma shrugged, "Sure. Anyway, Ucchan's and Neko Hanten
are probably the two most interesting places in Nerima."
   Akane looked at him, "You only say that because you can get
free meals from Ukyou and Shampoo!"
   "It's the only way I can hope to survive on nights when you
cook!" Ranma shot back.
   Crono and Marle rolled their eyes, as another fight ensued.
Life in Nerima was going to take some getting used to.
* * * * * *
   None too soon, the four arrived at the Tendo home. Lucca was
peering intently into the guts of the battered Epoch, while
Nabiki looked on. The expression on Nabiki's face was an odd
mixture of fascination, confusion, and greed. Lucca had removed
her helmet to prevent it from getting in the way of her work.
Ranma and Akane could now see that she had straight, shoulder-
length reddish-purple hair.
   Lucca held out an arm, and said, "Hey, Beeky! couldja hand me
that 15 mm manual torque driver?"
   "Er," replied Nabiki, surveying the bewildering array of tools
Lucca had dumped onto the ground.
   Lucca sighed, looking up from her work, "The third wrench-like
thing from the left, Nabiki!"
   "Got it," said Nabiki, handing the mechanic the requested
tool.
   As Lucca accepted the wrench, she saw Crono and Marle
approaching with Ranma and Akane, who were pointedly ignoring
each other. "Hey! How was school, guys?"
   "It's a long story," answered Marle.
   "Just let me make a few more adjustments, and then you can
tell me all about it." Lucca attacked the Epoch for a few minutes
with her 15 mm manual torque driver, and then she and Nabiki
pulled a tarp over the vehicle. Lucca grabbed and donned her
helmet, and followed the others inside.
   Akane, despite her anger toward Ranma, became conscious of the
fact that Nabiki was watching them all carefully. It wouldn't do
for her to overhear what they were discussing. So, Akane led the
others up to her room. Ranma was surprised for a moment, but then
caught on. Akane carefully closed the door. She tapped her foot
for a few moments, and then abruptly opened the door. Nabiki
collapsed into the room, holding a glass, which she had evidently
been using to listen at the door. "Do you mind, Nabiki?" asked
Akane, glaring at her sister. The others in the room snickered.
   Nabiki stood up with dignity, and said, "I was just picking up
dishes around the house! You really shouldn't leave glasses lying
around in the hall," she added.
   "Yeah, right. Beat it, big sister," said Akane. Nabiki left,
and Akane waited a few minutes more. She opened the door again,
but Nabiki was nowhere in sight. "Good, she's gone," said Akane.
   Crono and Marle, with interjections from Ranma and Akane,
related that day's discoveries to Lucca. Lucca listened
carefully, and with growing astonishment. "So we're not even on
the same planet anymore?" Crono nodded.
   "This is very odd," said Lucca, half to herself. "The Epoch
just was built for time travel, not interstellar travel! Still,
if Cologne is right, and we are here for a purpose, we really
should find out what that purpose is."
   Crono remarked that they really had no idea what to look for.
"True," replied Lucca. "I think that we should probably just stay
put until we manage to get the Epoch fixed. I still don't know
how long that's gonna take. The Epoch was built well, but it just
wasn't built against bicycle damage. Speaking of which, I think
I'm gonna get back to work." The group adjourned.
   Meanwhile, downstairs, Nabiki carefully folded the stepladder
that she had been using to listen to the group through the
ceiling. 'Time-travel, huh?' Nabiki thought gleefully. 'What a
gold mine! I'm sure that Crono and his friends wouldn't mind if I
made a teensy little fact-finding expedition with their little
toy...' Another newspaper headline blazed its way through
Nabiki's mind: NERIMA RESIDENT MAKES KILLING ON THE STOCK MARKET!
BECOMES WEALTHIEST WOMAN IN JAPAN! 'I've just gotta bide my time,
and help Lucca with her repairs.'

Chapter 3: Time Change

   "Excuse me, sir, but do you speak my language?"
   Ryoga turned his head in surprise. Ryoga was a youth used to
travel. Such was indicated by his clothes: sturdy boots, rugged
yellow shirt, and a well-stocked backpack. Strapped to the top of
his backpack was a bamboo umbrella, indicating Ryoga's readiness
for any kind of weather (though few realized at first that the
umbrella was also Ryoga's primary weapon in combat). Completing
the wanderer's attire was a yellow and black striped bandana
(which few realized was Ryoga's secondary weapon in combat), tied
around his black-haired head. A youth used to travel, and also
(to his anguish) to solitude. This was the first voice he had
heard for two days. After he, in the shape of Akane's little pet
P-Chan, had leapt from Akane's arms, his only thought had been to
find hot water, and to get back in time to protect her from
whatever evil had been represented by that silver object in the
sky. He had found the water, and one of his many caches of
clothes, but he had been totally unable to find his way back to
Akane. After once again cursing his poor sense of direction, he
had begun his journey to find his way back. 'Ranma had better be
able to protect Akane,' Ryoga thought fiercely, 'or else he'll
rue the day he was born!'
   Ryoga's mind returned to the present. The person addressing
him was a tall, pretty, young woman, perhaps slightly younger
than himself. She had short, blue hair, large, steady, green
eyes, and was dressed in ill-fitting Chinese clothes. She looked
rather desperate, in spite of her calm tone. "Er, yes?" Ryoga
replied.
   "Oh, wonderful!" the woman exclaimed, her voice wavering
slightly from it's calmness, "I was hoping that there would be
someone else who did! Can you help me? I seem to be lost."
   The irony of this statement caught Ryoga totally off guard,
and he was unable to suppress a short laugh, exposing for a
moment his slightly elongated canines. The woman looked slightly
miffed. "There is no need to laugh, sir."
   "I'm sorry," Ryoga apologized. "It's just that I'm the last
person to be asking directions from."
   "Oh, so you are lost as well?" she asked, a sympathetic look
on her face. "Perhaps we should travel together, until we can
discover where we are."
   Ryoga shrugged, and warned, "I travel fast..."
   "I believe that I can keep up," answered the woman,
confidently.
   Ryoga held out his hand, and said, "My name's Ryoga Hibiki."
   The woman shook the proffered hand, and answered, "My name is
Robo."
   The two of them began walking together, Robo's long legs
easily keeping pace with Ryoga's rapid steps. "Robo, huh?" said
Ryoga, "That's an interesting name. What's your last name?"
   Robo shook her head, "Just Robo. I have no last name. However,
I have also been called Prometheus, as well as R66-Y."
   Ryoga raised an eyebrow at the odd array of names. Robo
changed the subject, "By the way, could you tell me what year it
is?"
   The young woman was full of surprises. Ryoga replied "1995."
   "Ah, excellent," beamed Robo. "Are you familiar with Geno
Dome? That is my place of origin."
   Ryoga thought a moment. He had traveled extensively, but could
not remember anyplace by that name. He shook his head.
   "Well, then, have you heard of Proto Dome?" Again, the answer
was no. "Arris Dome?" Nope. "Well, someone should know. All of
those cities were in place by 1995."
   A strange comment. Ryoga decided to see if she knew of his
destination. "Are any of those places near Nerima?" he asked.
   Robo concentrated a moment. "I don't recall having heard of a
dome called 'Nerima'. But then, my memory isn't what it used to
be."
   "What do you mean?" asked Ryoga. "Do you have amnesia?"
   Robo sighed, "Perhaps I should explain. You see, I am not what
I appear to be."
   A chill rolled up and down Ryoga's spine. "Jusenkyo?" he
whispered.
   Robo looked at him, surprised. "You have heard of it?"
   "I've...been there," admitted Ryoga. Then, excitedly, he
asked, "Where is it? I need to get back there."
   Robo shook her head, sorrowfully. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying
any attention when I was running. That's why I'm lost."
   Disappointed, Ryoga asked her to tell him her story. "Well, it
will be rather hard to believe..." she said. Ryoga shrugged, and
urged her to continue. "Well, I am a time-traveler. I come from
the year 2300. I was walking with my companion Atropos, when a
time Gate suddenly appeared in front of me. I started to fall in,
and Atropos grabbed me, but she could not keep her grip. The
other end of the Gate opened, and I found myself in mid air above
a pool with bamboo poles sticking out of it. I splashed into it,
and crawled out in the shape that you now see. I looked up, but
the gate had closed already, giving Atropos no chance to follow
me. In retrospect, I suppose that that was for the best. I would
not want to doom her to my fate. At any rate, after I had noticed
that the gate was gone, I heard a voice talking to me. I looked
up to see a man, dressed much like I am now. He mumbled something
about the Jusenkyo curse, and a tragic drowned girl. He offered
me some clothes, and I took them without thinking. Only then did
I look at myself and fully realize what had happened to me." She
looked embarrassed. "I am afraid that I must have panicked,
because I just started running. When I finally stopped, I was
nowhere near Jusenkyo, and I had no idea how to get back.
Finally, I had calmed down enough to realize that I was in a
strange land, and in a strange body, and that I did not have any
clothes on."
   Ryoga was confused. "Huh? Didn't you have any clothes on
before you fell in?"
   Robo threw him an odd glance. "Of course not! Why would I?"
   This answer baffled Ryoga even more. "Don't people wear
clothes in 2300?"
   "Of course! But I, naturally, did not."
   This exchange, plus the fact that Robo produced all of her
statements in the same calm tone of voice, led Ryoga to wonder if
he was walking with some kind of pervert. Robo continued with her
story, "As I was saying, I was lost in a strange land, so I put
on the clothes that the man at Jusenkyo had given me, and started
walking. The fact that I could not remember where I had been was
really bothering me. In my old body, I had a perfect memory, and
I rarely became lost. I did discover that I was still nearly as
strong as before." She demonstrated by walking up to a nearby
boulder and punching it hard with her fist. There was a dull thud
and the rock shuddered. A lattice of hairline cracks appeared
around the point of impact.
   Ryoga was impressed. He walked up to the same boulder, chose a
side that was still unmarked, and gave it a punch of his own.
Again the rock shuddered, and another lattice of cracks appeared,
perhaps slightly larger than the ones produced by Robo. "I see
that you are strong as well," she noted. "Anyway, I kept walking
until I came to a town. I tried to communicate, but everyone
there was speaking a strange language. So, I kept traveling until
I met you."
   Ryoga nodded. "That is a strange story, but not unbelievable."
   "So, why are you lost?" asked Robo.
   "Well, I was in Nerima when I saw this silver streak in the
sky-"
   "What?!" interrupted Robo, definitely losing her calm tone.
She grabbed Ryoga's shoulders. "Did you say silver streak? Did it
appear out of nowhere, and fly away at great speed? With the
sound of a thunderclap?"
   Ryoga nodded, shaken, and more than a little uncomfortable in
Robo's iron grip, "Please let go of me." Somewhat sheepishly,
Robo did so. "Why? What do you know of this streak?"
   "It is my friends!" exclaimed Robo happily. "You have just
described their time machine. I am definitely coming with you
now! I have to get to Nerima."
   Rubbing his shoulders, Ryoga continued, "Well, when I saw the
streak, I tried to run to Akane, the woman that I love. I thought
that she might be in danger." He looked at Robo imploringly.
   Robo caught his meaning. "Do not worry. My friends would not
hurt your friends. At least, as long as your friends did not
attack them first." Robo suddenly got a wistful look. "I
understand your desire to aid the one that you love. I have only
recently had much experience with the emotion called love. I
think that I love Atropos. I do wish that I could see her again.
What force prevented you from reaching your loved one?"
   Ryoga looked uncomfortable. "I got lost." Robo looked at him,
questioningly. Defensively, Ryoga added, "I get lost very easily.
I continued walking, and eventually I found myself here. I think
that we're in China."
   Robo nodded. Then she looked frustrated. "If only we had a
map, or something!"
   "Wait, I have a map," said Ryoga, pulling off his backpack.
   "Why have you not been using it?" asked Robo, incredulously.
   "They don't usually help me much," answered Ryoga, pulling out
the map. He opened it and started to study it intently.
   "I think that I can see why," said Robo, gently turning the
map right-side up. She looked over Ryoga's shoulder. "So that is
China? It is a big place, and I do not recognize this part of the
world. Jusenkyo is not on the map? Too bad."
   "Here's Nerima," said Ryoga, jabbing at a part of Japan.
"That's funny. I don't remember crossing a large body of water.
Oh, well, not the first time that's happened."
   "You really do get lost easily," noted Robo with an awed
expression. Then she took on a serious cast. "Like I said, China
is a big place, so we need to figure out where we are, and which
way is north. So we will keep following this road until we find a
town, and hopefully, someone there will speak our language."
   "Actually," said Ryoga, "I do know a little bit of Chinese.
It's not much, but it might be enough to get us oriented. One
tends to learn a little of a lot of languages when one travels as
much as I."
   The two traveled onward in silence for a while. Suddenly a
thought occurred to Ryoga. "Do you know how to change back to
your normal form?"
   Robo stopped dead in her tracks. "You know a cure for this
curse?" she asked with a hopeful look.
   "Only a temporary one," replied Ryoga. "The way that the
curses work is that you change into your cursed form when
splashed with cold water, and your regular form when splashed
with hot water."
   "Really?" said Robo, looking somewhat disappointed. Then she
brightened, "Still, it is better than staying stuck in this body.
How hot and how cold does the water have to be, exactly?"
   "I don't really think that anyone knows for sure. It has to be
fairly warm, though, to be considered hot water."
   "How do you know so much about the Jusenkyo curse, Ryoga?"
asked Robo suddenly.
   "Er, I know a lot of people with curses," Ryoga answered.
   Robo gave Ryoga a long glance. Then she asked, "Do you have
any hot water with you?"
   "Actually, I do," said Ryoga, once more removing his backpack.
He lifted out a thermos, being careful to cover the tiny pig
tooth marks on the cap with his hand. He unscrewed the cap and
handed the thermos to Robo.
   "Wonderful!" she said. Then she walked behind some bushes.
   "What are you doing?" asked Ryoga.
   "I am removing these clothes, Ryoga" Robo answered.
   Ryoga's eyes widened. "Er, are you sure that that's
necessary?"
   Robo gave no response. Moments later, a new voice was heard,
"That is much better." The voice was male, but it had an odd,
tinny sound to it. Then Robo stepped out from behind the bushes.
Instead of a naked man, Ryoga was surprised to see a bulky
mechanical man. Robo's body had a barrel shape and seemed to be
made of some brass-coloured metal. He had short, stocky legs, and
thin arms, one of which was holding the clothes Robo had been
wearing. His head was a neckless hemisphere, with two glowing
eyes of the same green shade Robo had possessed as a girl, and a
large mouth. There was some sort of cylinder mounted horizontally
on his back.
   The robot stretched. The metal skin of his torso split into
two sections, and slid apart with a pneumatic hiss, revealing a
small, glowing green sphere surrounded by circuitry, gears, and
other bits of Robo's internal workings. Having vented the excess
steam, Robo closed his shell again and observed the shocked look
on Ryoga's face. "What is the matter?" he asked.
   "Y-you're a machine!" Ryoga accused.
   The robot seemed puzzled. "Well, yes, of course. Did you not
know?" Robo thought for a moment. "It seems not. Memory banks,
though erratic for the period of time spent as a human, indicate
that the actual nature of my true form never came up. I
apologize, friend Ryoga, for any discomfort I have caused you."
   Ryoga, recovering from the initial shock, realized that many
of the things Robo had said now made sense. His other names, his
claim not to wear clothes, his perfect memory... He looked at
Robo in wonder. "I didn't know that Jusenkyo changed machines,"
he admitted.
   "Doubtless, it does not change most machines. But unlike most
machines, I am alive. The magic of Jusenkyo probably affects all
living things, rather than just organic life forms."
   "Alive?" Ryoga asked, doubtfully.
   "I am an artificial intelligence, and I am no less and no more
alive than you, or anyone else." Robo seemed somewhat miffed at
Ryoga's doubtful expression.
   "I suppose," conceded Ryoga.
   Robo thought carefully for a moment. "My internal compass
indicates that north is...that way!" Robo pointed north. "That
means that we should go east, in order to reach the coast." Robo
triumphantly pointed east.
   "Great!" exclaimed Ryoga, and promptly started off in a
southwesterly direction.
   "Er, where are you going, Ryoga?" asked Robo.
   "East," Ryoga responded.
   "But east is that way," corrected Robo, pointing again.
   "Er, of course," said Ryoga, and headed north.
   Robo sighed, "Ryoga, perhaps you should follow me."
   Ryoga once again cursed his poor sense of direction, and
followed Robo.

Chapter 4: Time Out

   At the Tendo home, a week passed, more or less uneventfully.
Marle and Crono, at Lucca's insistence, went to school every day,
in an attempt to learn as much as they could about this new world
that they found themselves in. They learned a little, but mostly
they learned how irritating it was to have to stand in a hall
while holding loaded water buckets. Crono was given several
opportunities to practice his fighting techniques on Kunou, who
seemed totally unwilling to forgive or forget his original brush
with lightning.
   One situation that amused Ranma and Shampoo to no end began
when Akane and Crono took Lucca to the Neko Hanten. Lucca took
one look at Mousse, and instantly became infatuated with him.
Soon, to Mousse's great discomfort, Lucca was hanging onto him in
much the same manner that Shampoo grappled Ranma.
   Shampoo took vicious joy in taunting him about this. "Shampoo
thought Mousse only faithful to Shampoo!" she mocked him, as
Lucca tightened her embrace.
   "No, dearest Shampoo!" he exclaimed in horror, as he attempted
unsuccessfully to pry the love-stricken young inventor off. "It's
not what it looks like!"
   "What it supposed look like, then?" Shampoo asked sweetly.
   "Um...er," stuttered Mousse. He had managed to push Lucca off
for a moment, but like a magnet, she had wrapped herself around
his left leg.
   "Oh, what a hunk!" she crooned.
   "Aughh!" screamed Mousse in horror, and abruptly pulled his
leg free. He ran out of the shop, and down the street.
   "Come back, Moosey!" Lucca exclaimed and took off after him.
   "Good riddance," exclaimed Shampoo happily. "Stupid Mousse
gone. Maybe Lucca make good wife for him, so he leave Shampoo
alone."
   For the next several days, whenever she wasn't tinkering with
the Epoch, Lucca was thinking about Mousse, talking about Mousse,
or stalking Mousse. "Did you know that Mousse is a master of
hidden weapons?" she asked Ranma dreamily one day.
   "Yeah," said Ranma, wincing. He had more than once been on the
receiving end of those hidden weapons.
   "I'm gonna make some for him!" proclaimed Lucca, suddenly.
"Maybe then he'll stop running from me!"
   "Er, is that really necessary?" asked Ranma, knowing full well
who would most likely be the test subject for any new weapons
Mousse came to be in possession of.
   "Yeah! That's what I'll do," Lucca continued, ignoring Ranma.
"I bet I can make new weapons ten times as painful as the ones he
has now! This'll be fun!"
   Lucca ran off to get her tools, leaving Ranma with visions of
hidden horrors emerging from Mousse's sleeves. Still, Ranma
couldn't help but to pity Mousse some. Ranma knew very well what
it was like to have unwanted suitors. Then Ranma's expression
hardened. It served Mousse right, after all the torment he put
Ranma through just because Shampoo had decided to make Ranma her
husband! Mousse was welcome to Shampoo, for all Ranma cared!
   Ranma walked through the Tendo living room, trying hard to
ignore the hooks, chains, barbs, blades, and bludgeons that a
cheerfully whistling Lucca was fiddling with. Suddenly, she
stopped whistling, and said, "Hey, look." Ranma, who was at the
staircase, stopped. He didn't really want to see, but turned
anyway. To his surprise, Lucca wasn't holding up a vile weapon.
She was holding a short rod with a spherical end. The end was
blinking rapidly with a yellow light.
   "What's that?" asked Ranma curiously.
   "It's my Gate key," Lucca answered, distractedly. "It seems to
be indicating that a time Gate has opened up in the area."
   "A time Gate?" repeated Ranma excitedly.
   "We have to investigate," said Lucca. "Where's Crono and
Marle?"
   "Crono and Akane are at Ucchan's," said Ranma resentfully. "I
think he spends a little too much time with Akane."
   Lucca noted Ranma's discontent and laughed. "Don't be jealous,
Ranma! I'm pretty sure Marle and Crono are destined for one
another. He and Akane are just friends."
   "What? Me, jealous of that violent tomboy?" Ranma asked
incredulously. Still, he relaxed slightly.
* * * * * *
   The two of them found Marle, and soon Ranma and Marle were
following Lucca, who, in turn, was being guided by the key. After
a few minutes of walking, Lucca stopped. She frowned and shook
the key. "It's stopped," she said. "The Gate must have
disappeared. Still, let's keep walking. Something might have come
through while the Gate was open."
   Soon they began to hear voices arguing, one high-pitched and
whiny, the other low and guttural, with an odd accent. "Release
th' Masamune, Madame!" the low voice demanded. "'Tis not a
plaything!"
   "Let go of Pierre!" insisted the higher voice.
   Even before they appeared on the scene, Marle and Lucca
recognized one of the voices with joy. "It's Frog!" they
exclaimed.
   Ranma, for his part, recognized the other voice with
irritation. "It's Asuza," Ranma groaned.
   Soon, the three could see the odd scene. A cute young brown-
haired woman with a pink hair bow, and a froglike creature
dressed in medieval clothing with a flowing cape, each had a firm
grasp on the hilt of an impressive broadsword. The sword was at
least a meter in length, with a broad, flat blade that almost
seemed to glow with an inner light.
   Then, with a sudden pull, the young woman, who was apparently
much stronger than she looked, ripped the mighty blade out of the
frog-creature's grasp, causing the creature to take a tumble.
Asuza gathered the broadsword to her chest, and cuddled it,
crooning, "Pierre! Pierre!"
   Oddly, one could almost imagine hearing a voice from the sword
saying, "This is most embarrassing, Mune."
   Or just as oddly, a response, "Too true, Masa. Do you think
she is strong enough to use us?"
   "Not a chance, my brother," replied the first.
   "Then we must wait. We are good at waiting."
   "MADAME!" exclaimed the creature, standing again. "I am afraid
that I must insist-" Then he noticed Lucca and Marle. "By Lavos,
how glad I am to see thee!" suddenly remembering his station, he
bowed deeply to Marle. "Your highness!"
   Marle giggled, "C'mon Frog, you don't need to be so formal
with me. Just call me Marle, as always. Now, what is going on?"
   "Of course, Marle. In truth, I am uncertain as to what hath
transpired. I was patrolling the environs of Guardia Castle, when
a Gate appeared before me without warning. I found myself here,
though whither or when here be, I cannot guess. Before I couldst
recover my bearings, the Gate vanished once more, leaving me
stranded. I was then startled by a noise, and drew mine blade
without thought. The noise was caused by yon damsel, who, upon
seeing the Masamune thus drawn, shouted 'Pierre', and seized it.
She will not listen to reason, and-"
   Suddenly, Asuza shouted "Oh, how cute! Jacques!" and dropped
the Masamune. The sword landed point first and easily sank into
the concrete up to the hilt. With great speed, Asuza leapt over
to where Lucca was standing, and snatched the Gate key from her.
   "Hey!" shouted Lucca, shocked at the brazen theft. Frog, for
his part, wasted no time in making his way over to where the
Masamune was buried to the hilt in concrete. He pulled it easily
free. As he sheathed the great sword, one could almost hear a
twin sigh of relief coming from the blade.
   "Jacques!" cooed Asuza, cuddling the uncuddly object.
   "Who is that?" Marle demanded of Ranma.
   "She's a member of a local championship Martial Arts Figure
Skating team called the Golden Pair of Kolkhoz High," answered
Ranma. "She's obsessed with anything she considers cute. If she
sees something cute, then she gives it a French name and claims
it for her own. Her name is-"
   Suddenly, a voice snapped, "ASUZA!"
   Asuza immediately stiffened in irritation. Without warning, an
arm plucked the Gate key out of her loosened grasp. "Hey!" she
exclaimed.
   The arm was attached to a tall, handsome, well-dressed young
man. "You really have to pardon my partner, my lovely ladies," he
said gallantly to Lucca and Marle. "She does tend to get a bit
carried away at times." The partner in question was repeatedly
lunging for the key, which the young man deftly kept out of her
grasp. It was evidently something he had done before.
   'Lovely ladies', thought Lucca, flattered, 'Is he talking to
me?' Marle, for her part, just looked suspicious.
   "Leave them alone, Mikado. They're with me," said Ranma, eyes
blazing with hatred. Marle vaguely recalled Akane mentioning
Mikado as one of Ranma's 'suitors'.
   Mikado frowned, "Oh, it's you. Ouch!" Asuza had chosen that
moment to change tactics. She kicked Mikado hard in the shin,
causing him to drop the Gate key, which she immediately
recovered.
   "Jacques!" she yelped happily.
   Mikado glared at her. "Cut that out!" Then he turned back to
Ranma. "Well, any friends of yours are no friends of mine, no
matter how lovely. If they want that thing back, they'll have to
challenge:" he struck a pose. After a tense moment, he kicked a
distracted Asuza, who finally also struck a pose, "The Golden
Pair!"
   "No problem," snorted Ranma. "I beat you once, and I can do it
again."
   "No!" shouted Marle. "I have had ENOUGH. First Shampoo, then
Kunou, and now you! Is everyone here bent on ruining our stay?
Fine! I'll challenge you!" She grabbed Frog. "Frog will be my
partner!"
   "Er, milady, please-" stuttered the chivalrous amphibian.
   Marle paid no attention. "Well?" She glowered at the Pair.
   Mikado bowed deeply, and replied, "It will be an honor to meet
you on the icy field of combat," he threw a puzzled glance at
Frog, "even if your choice of partner seems...unusual." He
glanced furtively at Ranma for a moment and then returned his
gaze to the girl. "You can...skate, can't you? Our last opponents
couldn't."
   "Hey-"
   Marle cut off Ranma's protest and gazed at Mikado frostily. "I
do ice," she said coldly.
   "Excellent," Mikado beamed. "Here are the terms. If you win, I
liberate your trinket from Asuza, and prevent any further thefts
against you and your friends. If I win," he flashed them a
brilliant smile, "then you will be my escort for an evening of my
choosing."
   "Your highness! I cannot allow-" started Frog.
   "I accept your terms," interrupted Marle with a chilling
smile. "Just tell me when, and where."
   "As for the when, let us meet at four o'clock tomorrow." He
pointed at Ranma. "He can show you the where. Ta!"
   The handsome skater and his partner left, he running a comb
through his hair, and she making cute noises at her new
acquisition. Frog cleared his throat loudly, which (his being a
frog and all) was enough to gain the attention of all still
present. He fumed, "Milady Marle, I must inform you that many a
year has passed since I have partaken to set foot to ice, and I
was e'en then no adept. If thee were possessed of skill enough
for two, still would we lose! Further, that fellow seemed of a
most ill character, and certainly not a one with whom a lady of
your standing should dally!"
   Marle, who had evidently calmed down a great deal, said, "It's
sweet of you to be concerned, Frog, but we aren't going to lose.
Just leave it up to me. Now, we have to see about getting some
skates."
   Frog shook his head. "'Tis madness!" he muttered. Then he
realized that there was an ally that he had not met before. He
bowed to Ranma with a flourish. "Please forgive my rudeness," he
said, "but I had not the chance to properly introduce myself. I
am called Frog. Though Glenn be my true name, I have gone by the
moniker for so long that I find it comfortable, much like a well-
worn shoe. I am a knight in good standing of the Knights of the
Square Table of Guardia, and am the personal guardian of her
Highness, the most royal Queen Leene. I would be honored to know
thy name, thou who hast earned the friendship of my dear friends
Lucca and Marle."
   Ranma, more than a little overwhelmed by the elegant manner of
speech used by the green-skinned knight, proceeded to plant his
foot firmly in his mouth, "Um, my name is Ranma. Er, the name
Frog suits you."
   Marle and Lucca rolled their eyes, and Ranma turned red.
Fortunately, Frog seemed not at all offended. He laughed, and
patted Ranma's back. "Indeed it does. Fear not, lad! When one
bears a form such as mine, one learns to put little stock in
first impressions. Now, Sir Ranma, ladies, let us go forthwith to
purchase ice skates. I shall require practice for the coming
competition, lest I fall on mine face the moment mine skate
toucheth ice."
* * * * * *
   While the four were shopping for skates, Frog gathered a lot
of stares from passers-by. But Frog's charming and eloquent
manner of speech endeared him to the salespeople he interacted
with, and soon they managed to make a decent purchase on two
pairs of fine ice skates. Skates in hand, the four decided to
return to the Tendo household for dinner before beginning Frog's
training, to see if Crono and Akane had returned. "Indeed, I
should like to see Sir Crono once again," Frog agreed.
   Akane and Crono had returned, and Frog was introduced to Genma
and the Tendo's. Frog bowed deeply, and spoke to Soun, "Truly
thou art blest to have three such visions of beauty as thy
daughters." Soun began to sob with joy at Frog's compliment.
Akane and Kasumi both blushed, and even Nabiki's cynical
expression softened for a moment.
   "He CAN'T be talking about Akane," muttered Ranma loudly.
   Akane's face darkened. "Ranma...you...IDIOT!" she screamed,
pounding Ranma.
   Frog was astounded at the violence. "Lady Akane, perhaps Sir
Ranma was o'er hasty of tongue, but was that truly necessary?"
   "Yes," she answered shortly.
   Crono told Frog not to worry, as that sort of behavior was
common in the Tendo household. "I see," responded Frog, as he
watched Marle heal the crushed Ranma. "Methinks 'twould be best
for one not to anger her unduly..." Crono, Marle and Lucca nodded
their agreement.
   Over dinner (cooked by Kasumi that night, and so earning
complements from all present), they discussed the day's
activities, and the coming competition. At the mention of a
competition, Nabiki the Bookie came to full attention. Where
there are competitions, she thought, there is money to be made!
Best of all, I have an inside source for one of the teams.
   "So, you two are gonna take on the Golden Pair," she asked
Marle, smiling. "They've been beaten before, but believe me, it
wasn't by skill."
   "Was too!" piped up Ranma and Akane in unison.
   "Get real, Ranma, you couldn't even skate," smirked Nabiki.
"If Asuza hadn't taken Mikado down herself, you'd never have
stood a chance!" Ranma glowered, but didn't respond.
   "Can you skate?" Nabiki asked Marle and Frog bluntly.
   Marle nodded, but Frog sadly answered, "Alas, no. Yet Marle
assures me that the competition is but won. Once we have supped,
she and I shall practice together, that I may stand without
falling at the morrow's tournament."
   Hmm, thought Nabiki, so Marle's got something up her sleeve.
That's certainly worth knowing. Either that, or it's just
bravado. Still, bravado, and a lot of luck, carried the day for
Ranma. This should be worth watching! Then she silently
admonished herself. Focus, Nabiki! Don't forget where the real
money is: Lucca's little toy outside. Still, she thought with a
slow smile, It's always best to put your eggs in more than one
basket. "Well, best of luck to you!" she smiled.
   "Mine thanks, milady!" He took another bite of his dinner.
"Truly, Lady Kasumi, thy cooking skill doth rival thy beauty."
   Everyone but Kasumi and Frog winced, knowing quite well what
was going to follow a line like that. "Gee, Akane, I guess you
have something in common with Kasumi after all," said Ranma
innocently.
   Across town, at Ucchan's, Ukyou paused a moment in her cooking
to listen to the shrill, semi-coherent insults that Akane was
unloading onto Ranma, along with who knows what ghastly physical
abuse. Oh, Ran-chan, she thought, why must you taunt her so?
Still, if she hurts you too badly, I'll always be here for you.
Ukyou smiled, and closed her eyes, daydreaming of Ranma kissing
her at their wedding. She sighed, and returned to her work.
* * * * * *
   Later that evening, Frog, Marle, and Akane (Ranma, even after
an Aura shot from Marle, was still out cold), walked to an indoor
ice rink to practice. Frog, as he had predicted, was extremely
clumsy at first. But with perseverance, Akane and Marle soon had
him skating simple figures. This accomplished, Akane explained to
the two just what Martial Arts Figure Skating was, and what they
were to expect from the Golden Pair. "And most of all, remember
that Mikado will put a lot of effort into trying to kiss you,
Marle," Akane concluded.
   "Not whilst I still stand," remarked Frog fiercely.
   "Don't worry, Frog. This is what we're gonna do..."
* * * * * *
   Finally, the hour of the competition arrived. Several familiar
faces were in the audience at Kolkhoz High, including the
Saotome's, the Tendo's, Lucca (clinging to an unwilling Mousse),
Shampoo (clinging to an equally unwilling Ranma), Crono, Ukyou,
and Cologne. Only Nabiki was missing, and Ranma had a good idea
where she was. He disengaged himself from Shampoo and stood up.
   "Where go?" asked a pouting Shampoo.
   "Er, to get some popcorn," said Ranma.
   This seemed to satisfy her, so Ranma quickly made his escape.
He made his way downstairs, where he found several dozen people
crowded around a table waving handfuls of yen in the air. As
Ranma predicted, at the center of all this was Nabiki, taking
bets. "So, what are the odds, Nabiki?" he asked.
   "Oh, hi, Ranma!" she said cheerfully. "The odds are 10 to 1
against Marle and Frog. Even though the Golden Pair lost their
last big match, most people call that a fluke. Especially since
no one really knows what happened. Care to place a bet?"
   Ranma wasn't listening. "Fluke?" he demanded. "It was no
fluke!"
   "Of course not," answered Nabiki in a patronizing tone.
   "I don't have to take this!" exclaimed Ranma, storming out.
Nabiki grinned and returned to her bookkeeping.
   "Where popcorn?" asked Shampoo when Ranma returned.
   "Er, I forgot it," said Ranma, sheepishly.
   "It OK, Shampoo forgive." She leaned close to Ranma."Let
Shampoo show," she whispered, puckering up.
   Akane and Ukyou had had enough. Akane picked up Ranma, Ukyou
grabbed Lucca, and forced them to trade seats. Now Ranma was
sitting by Mousse, and Lucca was sitting by Shampoo. Ukyou and
Akane were satisfied, and Ranma and Mousse were relieved. Shampoo
and Lucca were irritated, and were about to try to reclaim their
respective partners, when the competition finally began. They sat
down again to watch.
   The announcer spoke, "Welcome one and all to the grudge match
of the year! On the west edge of the arena, a team that needs no
introduction: The nearly undefeated Golden Pair of Kolkhoz High!"
A spotlight blinked to life, illuminating Mikado and Asuza. The
audience cheered wildly as Mikado bowed and threw them a kiss,
and Asuza giggled and waved. Asuza, Lucca noted, had her Gate key
on a chain around her neck. "And on the east edge, the
challengers: A previously unknown skating duo who have asked to
be called Princess and Frog!" The spotlight hit Marle and Frog.
The two of them were dressed as usual, but Marle was also wearing
a sparkling, jeweled tiara, and Frog was wearing an elegant
feathered cap. Again the crowd cheered, but with a note of
curiosity. Remarks on Frog's life-like costume could be heard, as
well as estimations of their skill. On the ice, Marle and Frog
bowed as one, she grinning and he doffing his cap. "And let the
show begin!"
   At that signal, the Golden Pair started down the ice toward
the two challengers. Marle and Frog moved out halfway to meet
them, and stopped. Frog menacingly drew his Masamune, drawing
gasps from all the audience.
   "Pierre!" shouted Asuza happily at the sight of the drawn
blade. "I want Pierre!"
   Irritated, Mikado shook the girl. "You can have it when we
win! Now, concentrate!" The two of them increased speed toward
the waiting team.
   Then, without warning, Marle and Frog began to skate away from
the oncoming Pair. Frog abruptly stabbed his sword into the ice,
the blade slicing easily through the frozen surface into the
water below. He held onto the great sword with one hand and Marle
with the other, so that as Marle pulled him along, the two of
them left a cut behind them. They circled around the now wary
Golden Pair. As they completed the circle, the liberated ice sank
under the weight of the Golden Pair, who momentarily lost
balance. Quickly they recovered, and leapt to more sturdy
footing. The unstable ice floe bobbed a little before returning
to rest.
   "A stunning maneuver on the part of Princess and Frog!"
enthused the announcer. "But will it be enough to stop the Golden
Pair?"
   Marle continued to criss-cross the rink, leaving the ice
shattered and loose behind them. Unfortunately, as they reached
the other side of the rink, Mikado and Asuza finally caught up to
them. Asuza lunged, and managed to grab onto Marle. Then she and
Mikado shouted, "Couple Cleaver!"
   "Ooh, bad news, folks!" said the announcer. "It looks like the
Golden Pair is using their dreaded Couple Cleaver technique! Only
one couple has ever been able to hang together in the face of
this terrible maneuver!"
   Mikado and Asuza began to spin around, swinging Frog and Marle
faster and faster. Akane had explained this technique as a
maneuver designed to incapacitate one or both of the opponents.
Mikado would spin in place, while the centrifugal force lifted
Asuza and the two opponents into the air. As Mikado spun faster
and faster, the opponents would have a choice: hang onto one
another until both were flung away by the building force, or let
go, sacrificing one while leaving the other intact. Fortunately,
Marle and Frog had prepared for this. Marle shouted, "Quickly,
Frog! Plan B!" Frog quickly sheathed his sword and turned his
head to look at Asuza. He opened his mouth, and his long, red
tongue flew out to wrap around Asuza's waist.
   "Ewww, yuck!" shrieked Asuza, nearly losing her grip on Marle.
Then she recovered her hold. The four of them continued spinning,
faster and faster. Marle gritted her teeth, and tightened her
deteriorating grip on Frog. She looked over to Asuza and saw a
most welcome sight. As Marle had planned, Frog's added anchor had
made it much more difficult for the Golden Pair to rip them
apart. Asuza was being pulled from Mikado by the same forces that
were trying to pull Frog from her.
   Mikado, straining under the effort of holding onto Asuza,
suddenly became aware that their technique was backfiring. Nearly
panicking, he ceased his spin and lowered Asuza to the ground.
Asuza released Marle, and Frog wasted no time in releasing Asuza.
The two teams coasted apart. "Unbelievable!" the frenzied
announcer shouted. "The dreaded Couple Cleaver has actually been
countered! What a night this is turning out to be!"
   Mikado and Asuza came to a halt near the edge of one of Frog's
Masamune cuts, while Frog and Marle ended up near the side of the
rink. Frog and Marle were obviously exhausted. Mikado saw this
quite clearly, and although he and his partner were a little
tired themselves (not to mention more than a little unnerved by
the defeat of their master technique), he spoke confidently as he
announced, "You might as well concede! You may have stopped the
Couple Cleaver, but it is obvious that you will not be able to
keep this up as long as us! I will yet taste your lips, my lovely
princess!"
   Marle glared at him furiously. "Never!" she shouted. She held
her hands out in front of her and closed her eyes. "Ice2," she
chanted. Abruptly, a chilling wind began to blow, rippling
Marle's clothes and hair. There was a bright blue flash, and
Mikado and Asuza looked up just in time to see two multi-ton
chunks of ice fall from the air above them. The ice of the rink,
already weakened by Frog's slicing, snapped easily under the new
weight. Then, just as suddenly as they had appeared, the ice
chunks vanished, leaving only the hole in the ice, with a
battered Golden Pair clinging to the edge. The two soggy skaters
pulled themselves back onto the ice where Asuza promptly fainted.
Mikado fell to his knees and looked at Marle in disbelief.
   "Do YOU concede?" Marle asked sweetly. "Or do I have to drop
some more ice on you?"
   "We concede," said Mikado hastily. He removed the makeshift
necklace from around Asuza's neck, and with a shaking hand, held
it out for Marle to take.
   Marle skated over and grabbed the proffered item. "I told
you," she said smugly as she skated away, "I do ice."
   Mikado collapsed, and the announcer announced, "And the
winners are: Princess and Frog!" Marle skated back to Frog, and
the two bowed once more to the cheering audience. A couple of
paramedics skated out to where the Golden Pair lay, and loaded
the two onto a stretcher. Marle and Frog skated triumphantly out
of the arena, where they were met by their friends.
   "That was fantastic!" exclaimed Ranma.
   "You very strong fighters!" said Shampoo with admiration.
   The others had similar sentiments to share, with the exception
of Cologne, who simply stared at Frog and smiled, an expression
which, on her face, was rather unnerving. Eventually, Frog
noticed her attention, and turned to her, "Er, begging your
pardon, madame, but I don't believe I have made thy
acquaintance."
   Cologne cackled and responded, "My name is Cologne. Don't
bother to tell me yours, Glenn, I already know. I must admit, I
am happy to see you."
   "I am afraid that I do not understand," said Frog, bewildered.
   "Don't worry, Frog, you will soon enough. Just let me say,
that you will soon be faced with a test, and that I know you to
be man enough to face it, despite your inhuman form. But for
now..." she whirled suddenly, and rapped Marle and Crono lightly
on the head with her staff. "You two! Do you remember what I told
you to remember?"
   Irritated, the two dutifully repeated the three items. "And
Lucca's already made the gun," said Marle, "but we still don't
understand-"
   Cologne wasn't listening, "You should remember as well, Frog."
   "As you wish," Frog said, glancing at her oddly. Cologne
seemed satisfied.
   After Frog was, somewhat belatedly, introduced to those he had
not yet been introduced, the group waded through legions of well-
wishers, stopping only momentarily to receive a Martial Arts
Figure Skating championship trophy. Finally, they made it
outside, and each started for their respective homes (after
tearful partings for Shampoo and Lucca from Ranma and Mousse).
Before long, Nabiki caught up to Ranma, Crono, and the rest. She
looked very self-satisfied, and her purse was filled to
overflowing with yen.
   "Made a good take, eh Nabiki?" asked Ranma.
   "Of course," she grinned. Playfully, she addressed Frog and
Marle, "You ever think of going professional? I could be your
agent, with proper consulting fees, of course."
   The two weary skaters groaned a heartfelt groan. Frog pleaded,
"Speaketh not such horror!"
   "All I want now is a good, long night's sleep, and to never
have to skate again!" said Marle.
   Nabiki shrugged, "Worth a try."
   And another day ended.

Chapter 5: Time Flies

   "Hooray! It's fixed!" exclaimed Lucca, shutting a panel on the
Epoch with a flourish.
   "Really?" asked Nabiki. "Your jet works now?"
   "Yep!" the young inventor grinned. "All I gotta do now is test
it! I'm gonna go get the others!" Lucca began to run toward the
house. Then she stopped and turned to Nabiki again. "Oh, and
thank-you Nabiki! I never could have finished this fast without
your help! And you didn't even charge me for it!"
   "No problem at all, Lucca," Nabiki answered cheerfully. Lucca
smiled and ran into the house. 'No problem indeed,' thought
Nabiki. 'Now's my chance. After all the work I put into helping
Lucca fix this thing, I'm pretty sure I can get it to work. Fame
and fortune, here I come!'
   Nabiki climbed into the Epoch and glanced at the controls in
front of her. 'Hmm, there are more dials and gauges than I
thought there were. This one's altitude...this one's the
date...aha! The destination dial. Lessee, five years into the
future should give me a good idea where to invest.' She turned
the dial to the appropriate setting, and reached for the ignition
switch.
   Suddenly, Lucca, Marle, Crono, and Frog emerged from the
house, followed by Ranma and Akane. Not wanting to be caught,
Nabiki scrambled into the back, where she hid herself behind the
two rear seats.
   "So that's our plan," said Lucca. "We'll leave Frog here with
you for now, and Marle, Crono, and I will try to return to our
own time. Maybe whatever brought us here will take us back, too.
If it works, we'll return for Frog. Besides, I'll want to see
Mousse again. He's so dreamy..." Lucca stared dreamily off into
space. Ranma began to pantomime gagging, so Akane kicked him,
none too gently. Lucca's mind returned to earth, and she said,
"Let's go. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back."
   The three of them loaded into the Epoch. 'Uh, oh,' thought
Nabiki, still not making a sound. Lucca turned the ignition. The
Epoch spread its wings, and rose rapidly into the air.
   "Alright, next stop, 1000 A.D." said Lucca, turning the dial.
She apparently didn't notice that the dial had already been
tampered with. "Let's go!" She punched the time travel button,
and the Epoch began accelerating rapidly. The surface of the
planet scrolled by beneath them faster and faster, until there
was a bright flash.
   When the bright light faded, the Epoch automatically slowed to
a halt. Outside, the scene had changed dramatically. Where there
had recently been blue sky and clouds, there was now a bizarre
swirl of colors. Streaks of varying shades of blue and black wove
into and out of each other in a meaningless but mesmerizing
procession.
   "Hey, this looks like the End of Time," exclaimed Marle.
   Lucca frowned. "It certainly does. But Gaspar and his little
way station aren't here, so it can't be our End of Time. What
happened?"
   "I dunno. You sure you got the Epoch fixed?"
   "Of course. Maybe we should try it again." Lucca made sure
that the destination dial was set for 1000 A.D., and started the
Epoch again. Again the acceleration, flash, and deceleration.
When their vision cleared, the scene had not changed.
   "This is most odd," said Lucca. "Let's see if we can get
back." She adjusted the dial to 1995 A.D., and tried again.
Still, they were at the End of Time.
   Worried, Crono asked her what the problem might be. "I'm not
sure. For some reason, we keep getting drawn to the End of Time.
As far as I know, there are really only two reasons that that
could be happening. It could be that there's something stuck in
the destination circuits of the Epoch, but I find that unlikely.
I think I would have noticed while I was making my repairs."
   "What's the other reason?" asked Marle.
   "Well, you remember when we first picked up Robo and walked
through the Gate in Proto Dome?" The two nodded. "Gaspar
explained that trying to travel through time in groups of more
than three strains the space-time continuum, forcing the
travelers to the End of Time. My guess...is that we have a
stowaway."
   As one, the three of them turned around and stared into the
back. Nabiki sat up and looked sheepishly back at them. "Hi," she
said cheerfully.
   "Nabiki!" Lucca exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
   Marle's eyes narrowed. "You knew, didn't you? How did you find
out? What were you going to do with the Epoch?"
   Nabiki feigned innocence. "What? That this is a time machine?
Of course not! And I wasn't going to do anything with it. I was
just...er," the wheels in her mind raced to think of an excuse,
"I was just...looking for one of my earrings, and then I...fell
asleep," she finished lamely. Inwardly, she cringed. 'That was
the worst excuse I've ever heard,' she thought, 'what's wrong
with me today?'
   "You fell asleep," repeated Marle slowly.
   Nabiki belated turned to honesty to try to escape this
predicament in one piece. "Okay, I admit it. I found out you had
a time machine a long time ago. I was just gonna use it to check
up on the stock market a few years down the line! I mean, that
couldn't possibly hurt! I would have had your machine back in no
time."
   Lucca looked heartbroken. "You mean all this time you were
helping me just so you could learn to fly the Epoch?" Lucca
lowered her head. "And I thought it was because you liked my
company."
   Nabiki felt like a real heel. "Look, Lucca, I'm sorry! I
didn't want to hurt anyone, honest! You're a great person. I had
fun helping you, even if I was doing it for an ulterior motive.
You taught me more about electronics and engineering than I would
have learned in a year of classes!" With a small jolt of
surprise, Nabiki realized that she was telling the truth. She had
enjoyed working with Lucca, even if underlying that enjoyment was
a strong current of greed. But then, nearly everything in her
life had that underlying current.
   Lucca brightened. "Really?"
   "Really."
   Crono cleared his throat, and mentioned that, touching as this
scene was, they still needed to work out some way to get back.
"Well, that's simple," said Lucca. "We just need to leave someone
here for now."
   Everyone jerked with surprise. "What?" said Nabiki. "Leave
someone out there?" She looked at the swirling, and not
particularly hospitable-looking, colors that composed the world
around them.
   "I elect Nabiki," said Marle, less easy to forgive and forget
than Lucca.
   "Hey!" Nabiki answered angrily. Then her face softened, "Well,
this is all my fault. But how will I survive out there?"
   "Hang on!" said Lucca. "First of all, survival will be no
problem. In the time that I spent with Gaspar, I learned a lot
about the nature of the End of Time. That stuff out there is raw
possibility. It is extremely sensitive to coherent thought
processes. So basically, when you're standing outside, you can
still breathe, as the stuff responds to your body's basic desire
to live, and by the same token, you never get hungry. Time here
is totally dependent on the occupant, so even though time will
pass for you, you won't really age. At least, I think that's how
it works. Gaspar was truly brilliant, and much of what he said
was beyond me. With practice, he was able to make the End of Time
respond to his will, and that's how he was able to construct his
way station. But since no one here has had any practice with
that, the greatest threat will be boredom. Which brings me to my
next point. Who should remain?"
   "Really, I will," insisted Nabiki. "I owe you for what I did
to you, and if there's one thing that I hate it's an unpaid
debt."
   "I appreciate your sincerity, Nabiki," smiled Lucca, "but it
just doesn't make sense for you to stay. We should get you back
to your own time first, so that we can come back without you and
finish what we originally intended to try. I can't stay, because
I need to stay with the Epoch, just in case anything goes wrong."
She turned to Marle and Crono. "So it has to be one of you."
   Crono immediately volunteered. "No, I'll stay," argued Marle.
Crono smugly responded that he had volunteered first. Marle
sighed, "Oh, all right. But be careful, Crono! I don't want to
lose you again." Crono laughed, and asked Marle what could
possibly happen to him out there.
   Lucca opened the cockpit, and Crono climbed out. With
surprise, he noted that it felt like he was standing on a
surface. Lucca shrugged and answered, "Why not?" Crono shrugged
as well, and walked a good distance away so that they could take
off.
   Nabiki settled into Crono's vacated seat, and tried to ignore
the cold stare Marle was giving her. Lucca adjusted the
destination dial, and soon the Epoch was underway. Nabiki looked
out the window to see Crono waving a farewell. She tried to
ignore the cold lump of guilt she felt in her stomach. Why was
this bothering her so? She had tricked people before. But this
time, she had deliberately deceived...a friend? It dawned on her.
She considered Lucca a friend. She had cultivated her friendship,
and then betrayed it for money. And now, one of her friend's best
friends was paying the price for her treachery. Nabiki sighed.
People with her tendencies generally had few good friends, and
tended to lose the ones that they had. And for good reason.
'Well, not this time,' Nabiki resolved. 'I will not betray Lucca
again, and I will try to make amends for what I have done.
Sheesh, how corny,' she thought. 'But I mean it.' The lump of
guilt slowly faded, and was replaced by determination.
   The familiar flash of light appeared, and the Epoch slowed to
a halt. Nabiki and the others stared out of the cockpit. They
could see a blackened, charred landscape. There were huge crater
marks as far as the eye could see. What buildings they could see
were mere shells, devoid of life. "This isn't Nerima," stated
Nabiki tonelessly.
   "No," whispered Lucca hoarsely. "Not again. Not here."
   "It's Lavos, isn't it," asked a wide-eyed Marle. "But how? We
killed it!"
   "No, no, no," said Lucca absently, eyes still fixed on the
landscape before them. "We killed ONE Lavos. But that Lavos came
from somewhere else. It would seem obvious that there would have
to be others of its kind."
   Their panic was beginning to spread to Nabiki. "What are you
saying? What's a Lavos? And WHERE IS NERIMA?"
   Lucca turned a haunted look on her. "Nabiki, a Lavos is a
member of a race of interstellar parasites who burrow into a
planet and lay dormant until an intelligent race evolves. While
it waits, it studies the other evolving life-forms of the planet,
selecting samples of DNA from the most vigorous and viable life-
forms, and modifying its own DNA accordingly. Once it feels that
it has evolved itself enough, it emerges from its resting place,
wipes out most of the life on the planet, and begins to spawn.
These spawn are launched into space, where each finds a new
planet to inhabit. Basically, this IS Nerima. Your planet has
been destroyed by Lavos."
   Nabiki paled. "Now? All this happened while we were gone?"
   "She's right, Lucca," said Marle. "There's no way Lavos could
have done all this already. We've only been gone a half hour or
so. What does the clock say?"
   Lucca glanced at the chronometer. It was off. She tapped it a
few times, and it flickered but remained off. "That's odd. It
seems to be busted." She looked at the destination dial. "But
according to the dial, we should be in 1995 A.D."
   Abruptly, the Epoch lurched. Smoke began to rise from the
control panel. "Er, I think something's wrong," said Lucca. "I'm
gonna set down for repairs." Marle and Nabiki put up no argument.
There was another lurch, and the engines cut off. "Uh, oh," said
Lucca. The Epoch began to fall. Lucca, sweating profusely, began
to poke at various controls. There was no response. "Brace
yourselves people," said a pale Lucca. "I think this is going to
hurt. A lot." Marle and Nabiki began to scream. Lucca pounded the
controls in frustration. Then, blue electricity crackled across
the control panel, and the engines turned on again.
   But it was too little, too late. The Epoch slammed into the
ground, its fall softened only slightly by the engines. A few
minutes later, Lucca came to. She was conscious of a sharp pain
in her shoulder. Probably broken, she thought. She felt moisture
on her chin, and wiped it with her hand. Blood, she noted. She
had bitten her tongue badly, and was bleeding from her mouth. She
spat out some of the blood, and carefully turned in her seat,
hissing with pain as her shoulder protested. Marle and Nabiki
were both alive, but unconscious. On Nabiki's side, the Epoch's
hull had collapsed inward, and in doing so had bent Nabiki's left
leg to a very uncomfortable looking angle. She also was bleeding
from a cut on her head. Marle had suffered the least. Her only
apparent injury was a huge developing bruise on her right arm,
where she must have smashed it into the side of the Epoch.
   "Marle!" Lucca rasped, spitting out more blood. "Wake up!"
Reaching gingerly with her good arm, she shook Marle slightly.
   Marle groaned and started to sit up. Then she gasped with
pain, and clutched her bruised arm. She opened her eyes, and
whispered, "We're alive?"
   "Yeah," answered Lucca. "Barely."
   "And Nabiki?" she looked at the unconscious girl beside her,
and her eyes widened at the twisted leg. "Ouch. That's gotta
hurt."
   "We could use a little Cure action, Marle," said Lucca. "I
don't think Aura is gonna cut it this time."
   Marle nodded. Suddenly, Nabiki came to. "Oh, my head," she
said. "Did we make it?"
   "Just relax, Beeky," said Lucca soothingly.
   "Huh?" Nabiki opened her eyes and looked at her leg. "You
know," she said in a conversational tone bordering on hysteria,
"I am really, really glad that my leg fell asleep. I'd hate to
know what that feels like."
   "Cure," said Marle. The air sparkled around her, and the
bruise on her arm disappeared, no doubt along with any other
injuries not immediately apparent.
   "Her next," said Lucca.
   "We'd better straighten out that leg first, or it'll heal
badly," responded Marle.
   "I am really, really, really glad I can't feel my leg," Nabiki
babbled. She gritted her teeth, as Lucca and Marle jerked the leg
straight. There was an audible snap as the bones slid back into
place. "I think I felt that," she said faintly.
   "Cure," said Marle. The air shimmered around Nabiki, and the
cut on her head sealed. She flexed her leg experimentally, and
sighed with relief.
   "Thanks, Marle," she said. "Now, help Lucca. She looks pretty
rough, too."
   Lucca diagnosed herself. "My shoulder's broken, but none of
the bones are out of place. So go ahead." Marle repeated her
technique, and Lucca was whole. "I'd better see how bad the
damage is," she said. She popped the cockpit, and the three of
them piled out.
   The air was stale, but not bad considering that there didn't
seem to be any plants left alive to keep the oxygen level up. The
air smelt of ashes, and ozone, and slightly of decay. The Epoch
had landed on one of the charred buildings, scattering burnt
splinters of wood all around. The Epoch itself looked worse than
when Shampoo had rammed it. It was severely bent where it had
struck a stone chimney in the dead building, and there were
pieces of the hull hanging off of it in places. "What could have
gone wrong?" asked Lucca weakly. "Did I really do so bad a repair
job?"
   "No," said Nabiki, near tears, "your work was flawless.
Obviously, the strain of traveling with four people broke
something inside. It's all my fault."
   "And we didn't bother to check at the End of Time," continued
Marle, realizing with horror that Nabiki was correct.
   Lucca shook her head sadly. "This is gonna take at least as
long to fix as before."
   "A week and a half?" demanded Marle. "Poor Crono!"
   "Poor us!" snapped Lucca. "Crono, at least, isn't going to
starve. But we don't have anything to eat. We can't last for more
than a few days without food."
   "You can eat me," said Nabiki meekly.
   Marle rolled her eyes. "Please, Nabiki, it's a little early to
be thinking about cannibalism."
   Nabiki looked irritated. "Look, I'm not usually very generous,
and it takes some getting used to. I would appreciate it if you'd
cut me some slack here."
   "Look," said Lucca, "I'm gonna get to work. Why don't you two
scout around and see if you can find some food. Anything that
might have survived, like canned food."
   Marle and Nabiki nodded and started off. They came to another
burnt-out wreck, and gingerly prodded it to see if it was stable.
It didn't collapse, so the two of them walked in. Almost
immediately, Nabiki tripped over something. She looked at it and
screamed. It was a human skeleton. She scrambled away, only to
collide with a dog skeleton. She jerked back, colliding with a
wall. The wall crumbled slightly, revealing a family of mouse
skeletons. "Can this place get any more depressing?" Nabiki
demanded.
   Marle giggled. "You'll get used to it," she said. "Now, let's
find the kitchen."
   Nabiki nodded, and picked her way gingerly past cat skeletons,
parakeet skeletons, and a bowl full of fish skeletons. She
suppressed a shudder. She continued to hunt, passing an antelope
skeleton, a dolphin skeleton, and a rhinoceros skeleton. "Now
look, this is just getting silly," she muttered. "Where're all
these weird skeletons coming from? This doesn't look like a zoo."
   Then she heard Marle's voice, "Hey, Nabiki, c'mere! I think
I've found the kitchen!" Eagerly, Nabiki followed the sound of
Marle's voice, vaulting a giraffe skeleton on the way.
   She found Marle hunting through some ruined cabinets. Her eye,
trained from years of picking up loose change, caught a glint of
metal, half-buried in ash on the floor. She picked it up. It was
a can, but it looked as if it had been ripped open and licked
clean. "Look, Marle! It looks as though someone, or something,
has already been here."
   The two of them sifted through the ashes for a moment and
found several more ripped cans. "So, there might be something
still alive around here?" Marle wondered aloud. "I don't like
this. We'd better get back to Lucca." Thinking for a moment,
Nabiki grabbed a leg bone from a bear's skeleton to use as a
bludgeon, if necessary. The two of them began to run.
   Halfway back to the Epoch, Nabiki and Marle heard Lucca
scream. They doubled their haste, and soon came upon a fearsome
sight. A bizarre patchwork monster was attacking Lucca, who had
climbed on top of the Epoch to avoid it. The thing had a bear's
arms, with vicious claws. Its body was spider-like, with eight
thin legs supporting it. It had a jackal-like head, complete with
a full complement of fangs, but its eyes were on stalks, like a
snail's.
   "Get away from her!" shouted Nabiki, and then immediately
wished she hadn't. The beast turned toward Nabiki and Marle, and
roared. Nabiki suddenly realized that the bone she was carrying
wasn't going to be of much use against this creature.
   "Oh, great," said Marle, and loaded her crossbow. She fired a
quarrel, which thunked into the monster's side. The monster
roared again, evidently only angered by Marle's attack. "We could
use some help here, Lucca!" urged Marle.
   "Right!" said the flustered inventor. She groped around in her
satchel, and pulled out a gun. She took careful aim. "Take this,
monster!" she yelled and pulled the trigger. A stream of hot
water squirted out from the gun and washed over the creature.
"Oops," said Lucca. "Wrong gun."
   But then, something unexpected happened. As the water made
contact with the beast, it screamed and began to shrink and
change. A few moments later, where the creature had been there
was a tiny squirrel. The crossbow quarrel, which had been a mere
nuisance to the beast, was obviously fatal in the furry little
creature. It twitched a few times and expired.
   Nabiki's eyes widened. "It was cursed! Just like Ranma."
   "Poor thing," said Marle, nudging the dead animal with her
toe.
   "But how could it have gotten all the way here from China?"
Nabiki asked. "It didn't look like it would have been able to
swim that far."
   "Maybe someone brought it here," suggested Lucca. "Do you
think that there are any more creatures like it around?"
   "I sure hope not," shuddered Marle. Then she noticed how dark
it had become. "We're gonna have to find shelter for the night."
   Lucca agreed. "We'll use the Epoch. With the cockpit sealed,
it'd take real muscle to break in, and we'd be sure to notice."
So, the three of them crawled back into the battered time
machine, and fell into a fitful sleep.

Chapter 6: Timeless

   "Well, at least the robe works!" said Ryoga, backing from the
angry blue-haired woman advancing on him.
   "Why did you not warn me about that puddle!?" Robo demanded.
She was wearing a loose white robe, now soggy up to her knees.
Robo took a moment to tighten the cord around her waist, fitting
the robe more closely to her body.
   "I didn't think it was going to be that deep! Besides, why
didn't you see it?"
   "Because I was looking at the map! You were supposed to be
watching where we were going." She grabbed Ryoga by the neck and
began to shake him, "AND NOW WE ARE OUT OF HOT WATER BECAUSE SOME
PIG, WHOSE NAME I WILL NOT MENTION, USED THE REST OF IT UP!!!"
   "Ack!" acked Ryoga, eyes bulging. His face began to turn
purple.
   Robo threw him to the ground in disgust. "You could have told
me, you know. I could have doused you without spilling the rest
on the ground."
   Ryoga rubbed his neck. "Look, we've been through this. I don't
like people to know about my curse! I'm sorry that I lost the
rest of the water, but it was an accident."
   Robo said nothing. She looked at the map again, and started
walking down the road, ignoring him. Guiltily, Ryoga followed.
After walking for an hour or so, Ryoga risked an attempt at
communication. "It's not really that bad, is it? I mean, at least
you're pretty."
   Robo gave him a sardonic look, and he wished that he hadn't
spoken. "You do not know how relieved I am to hear that," she
said ironically. Then her voice returned to its regular calm,
betrayed only by the look of hopeless anger on her face. "I hate
this body, Ryoga. Changing from a human to a pig is nothing
compared to what I go through. This body is so disorganized, both
mentally and physically. Whenever I experience something, there
is no guarantee that I will remember it. The emotions I feel in
this body are ten times what I feel normally. I can actually lose
control, like I did when I grabbed you by the neck." She looked
at her hands. "The sensations that I
feel...touch...taste...sight...are similar to what I felt as a
machine, but confused. When I smell the air, I cannot tell what
it is made of. Only that it smells sweet, or unpleasant, without
knowing why. I do not even want to know what is keeping me
balanced, since I obviously have no internal gyros." She stopped
and turned to Ryoga with tears in her eyes. "Every minute I am in
this body, I am on the brink of terror. I am always afraid that
something will go wrong, and that I will have no idea how to fix
myself. Do you see now why being 'pretty' brings me so little
comfort?"
   Ryoga nodded miserably, uncertain as to how to comfort the
woman. "Worst of all," continued Robo bitterly, "is the knowledge
that humans live such a short lifetime. In this body, I can
expect no more than about eighty more years of life."
   "That seems like a long time," suggested Ryoga.
   "For you, perhaps," smiled Robo without mirth. "But for me, it
is next to nothing."
   "How old are you?" asked Ryoga, curiously.
   "I was active for four hundred years from the time Lucca
reawakened me, and though my memory was damaged, I believe that I
had experienced at least another two centuries of life before
that."
   Ryoga's jaw dropped. "You're over 600 years old? That's older
than Cologne!"
   "As a robot, I could expect several thousand more years of
life, with regular maintenance, before my memory circuits
deteriorated beyond the point of recovery. Every day I spend in
this body, I am losing years of my life."
   Then Ryoga finally saw a way that he could console his
despondent companion. He put his hand on her shoulder. "It
doesn't work that way, Robo. Your cursed form ages at the same
rate as your regular form, not vice-versa. I've spent a lot of
time as a pig, but I've aged normally, despite the fact that pigs
don't live as long. Even if you stay a girl the rest of your
life, you should still live to be several thousand years old."
   Robo looked relieved. "Well, that is something, at least.
Still, I would not relish the thought of spending thousands of
years like this. I intend to return to my normal form as soon as
possible." She looked at the map. "Which should be soon.
According to the map, we are approaching the outskirts of
Nerima."
   "Really?" said Ryoga eagerly. Now that he thought about it,
the area did look kind of familiar. He began to run.
   "Wait!" called Robo. "You had better stay with me! It would
not do for you to get lost again after coming this far!"
   Grudgingly, Ryoga halted and waited for Robo to catch up. The
two of them walked a distance, and finally Nerima came into view.
As they entered the town, Robo's map became useless. It was a
road map, and provided few details about individual towns. In
addition, Robo came to realize that Ryoga would have as little
luck finding his way around in town as he had had in finding the
town at all. So, in spite of Ryoga's grumbling about wasting
time, Robo entered a public phone booth and looked up the Tendo
home. She exited the booth with the address firmly in mind, and
began to follow street signs. Soon, the Tendo property came into
view, and Ryoga, confident that he could find his way to a place
that he could see, broke into a run again, this time with Robo in
tow.
   He burst through the front gates, forgetting to open them
first, and into the Tendo yard. To his joy, the first person he
saw was Akane. "Akane!" he yelled happily. "I'm so glad that
you're all right!"
   "Oh, hello, Ryoga," Akane answered, not looking up. She seemed
very glum.
   "What's the matter? Is it Ranma? I'll kill him for you, if you
want," he offered hopefully, brushing splinters of shattered gate
off of his shoulders.
   Akane smiled at this. "No, it's not Ranma. It's kind of a long
story." She finally looked at him and noticed his partner. "Who's
your friend?"
   "My name is Robo," Robo responded. "Ryoga has told me much
about you."
   "Nothing bad, I hope," Akane smiled. "Robo, huh? That's an
interesting name."
   "So I have been told," answered Robo with a smirk. "Actually,
this is not my true form. I have been cursed by the waters of
Jusenkyo, just like Ry-"
   "Just like Ranma," Ryoga interrupted.
   "Hmmm, I see. I'll get some hot water for you then. I'll be
back in a sec!" Akane walked inside.
   "Please," hissed Ryoga, "I don't want anyone to know about my
curse, Akane least of all!"
   "My apologies. I had forgotten your desire for secrecy. Still,
I have found that it is always for the best to be honest with
those you care about. Should you not tell Akane, if you love her
as much as you claim?"
   Ryoga looked miserable. "I want to, but I can't. If I tell her
then I'll lose her for sure."
   "I do not understand. If she loves you as well, then she
should be tolerant of your curse."
   "It's not that simple. You see, for a while now, Akane has had
a pet pig. Me. Every night that I'm here, I've slept with Akane
as her little P-Chan. If I told her now, then she would be
furious with me."
   Robo nodded, a bit slowly. "Though I am, as yet, not entirely
familiar with human codes of conduct, it would seem that you face
a dilemma. Nevertheless, the longer you wait to tell her, the
worse the outcome will be when she finally finds out."
   "I know!" groaned Ryoga in emotional agony. "But I just
can't."
   Robo changed the subject. "Who, other than myself, knows of
your curse?"
   "Well, Shampoo and her great-grandmother have seen me change,
and Mr. Tendo has, too, but I'm not sure that he believed his
eyes," answered Ryoga. Then Ryoga's eyes narrowed, and his fists
clenched in anger. "And there's the one responsible for my curse,
Ranma."
   "Ranma?" repeated Robo. "The sadistic, arrogant fellow whom
you have told me has made it his mission to keep you and Akane
apart? If he knows, why does he not tell Akane himself?"
   "He's responsible for my curse, and by his warrior's code, he
has to keep my secret. Bastard that he is, he still has a sense
of honor about some things."
   At that moment, the dojo door slid open and Frog and Ranma
emerged. Frog was deep in conversation with Ranma. "An excellent
match, Sir Ranma. Yet thou art still vulnerable to mine Slurp
Cut."
   Defensively, Ranma said, "I'm just not used to an opponent
trying to grab me with their tongue. I'll learn soon enough."
   "Frog!" yelled Robo joyfully, and ran over to the knight. She
grabbed him in a hug. "I am so glad to see you!"
   Strangling in Robo's enthusiastic hug, Robo croaked out,
"Please desist! Thou art squeezing th' very breath from me!" Robo
put him down. "Now, who might thou be? And how knowest thou mine
name?"
   "Frog, it's me, Robo!"
   Frog's bulging eyes bulged even more. "Surely dost thou jest,
madame?"
   "No, it really is me. Remember when you, Ayla, and I defeated
Dalton on the Epoch, after he had tried to steal it? Remember how
we worked together with Crono to set Cyrus's sprit to rest?"
   "Robo, 'tis you indeed! But thou hast been transformed! And
into a fair maiden at that! What hath transpired?"
   Ryoga and Ranma walked over to the two reunited friends. After
glaring at each other a moment, they turned and began to grill
the two. "So, who's this?" Ryoga asked Robo, indicating Frog, and
Ranma asked Frog, indicating Robo.
   "Indeed, introductions are in order," said Frog. He addressed
Robo, "By your leave?"
   "Certainly, Frog. You have always been better at introductions
than I."
   "Sir Ranma, I wouldst that thou meet mine comrade in arms,
Robo. Though she may not seem it now, she is a great warrior, and
a boon in any battle. On our world, she hailed from the far
future, 2300 A.D., to be precise. Robo, allow me to introduce
Ranma. He is a fighter of great skill, and a man of honor. He
hath done much to help me learn the ways of this world we have
found ourselves in. I have been staying with him, his fiancee,
and their families for several days now. He is afflicted with a
curse that causeth him to assume a feminine form when splashed
with cold water." Robo shook Ranma's hand. Certainly Frog painted
a better picture of Ranma than Ryoga did. And it seemed that
Ranma had the same curse she did. Robo wondered why Ryoga had
failed to mention this.
   Then Frog's words hit home. "Our world? What do you mean,
Frog?"
   Frog sighed. "Lucca couldst better explain. Suffice it to say,
that we have traveled not only to another time, but to another
world, one not unlike our own, but different in many ways."
   "That would explain why so little seems familiar to me." Robo
then realized that it was his turn for introductions. "Ryoga,
this is Frog. He is a knight in his own time, that is, 600 A.D.
He was transformed into a frog-man by a powerful sorcerer, but
the transformation did not make him any less a valiant swordsman.
He has been a good friend and ally. Frog, this is Ryoga. I have
been traveling with him for many days. He is a strong, kind
person, and he was willing to help me in my hour of need." Ryoga
shook Frog's gauntleted hand.
   At that moment, Akane came outside, carrying a teapot of hot
water. "Ah, I see that you've met Frog," she said.
   "We have had a previous acquaintance," said Robo with a wry
grin.
   "Robo is another companion from our world of origin," Frog
explained.
   "And she's already had an encounter with Jusenkyo? What bad
luck. Well, here's that water."
   "One moment, please," requested Robo. She loosened the cord
around her waist. "Proceed."
   Akane poured the water on her, and she returned to her normal
form. Needless to say, Akane and Ranma were surprised to see a
large robot dressed in a white robe standing where the blue-
haired girl had been. "Much better!" Robo exclaimed.
   "You're not human!" Akane and Ranma accused in chorus. Ryoga,
Robo, and Frog sighed, and explained.
   "Weird," commented Ranma, a rather bold statement from one who
had experienced as many things as he had.
   Then Ryoga turned and looked at Frog with pity. "So you're
stuck like that forever?" he asked.
   Frog smiled slightly. "Not forever. Only 'til the death of
Magus, he who enchanted me."
   "Then why don't you find him and kill him?" asked Ryoga.
   "Thou art a bloodthirsty one, in truth," Frog laughed. Then he
sobered, "But I must confess: 'Twas once my intention to kill
Magus at any cost. But, in time, it became necessary to forge an
alliance with the fellow, and as we fought together 'gainst a
greater evil, I came to realize that I had misjudged the man. He
was arrogant and ruthless, true, but also was he courageous, and
even honorable, in his own right. I came to learn of his past,
and the events that had turned him onto the path that he walked,
and my hatred turned to respect, and to pity. I would not kill
him now if I had the chance--and he would, I dare say, judge me a
fool for my sentimentality."
   Ryoga was impressed. He slapped his fist into his palm and
said, "I don't see how you can say that. If someone had put a
curse on me like that-" he abruptly threw Ranma a withering
glance, "-I wouldn't rest until I had my revenge." Ranma scowled
back at him, but said nothing.
   "Rest easy, I do not like the man," Frog responded. "Magus
hath taken great pains to remain unlikable. I do still find
myself wishing, from time to time, that he had not so vilely
enchanted me. But when I think such thoughts, I am reminded of
the advantages that this body has over my old--and these
advantages are many. The disadvantages I have learned to cope
with. I once thought myself an outcast, but 'twas I who had cast
myself out. When I overcame my self-pity, I came to realize that
I was not an object of fear and loathing, as I had once thought.
I was welcome among the people with whom I had formerly lived as
a man, and my Queen once again welcomed my protection. I am happy
now, despite my condition. Vengeance be a pointless, and self-
destructive gesture when the cause becometh acceptable."
   Ryoga didn't respond. His mind whirled with Frog's words.
Could he ever find himself forgiving Ranma? 'Never!' he instantly
answered himself. 'But Ranma had also known what it was to be
cursed,' his mind argued back. 'Yeah, but turning into a girl is
nothing compared to turning into a pig!' Then he remembered
Robo's similar words, "Changing from a human to a pig is nothing
compared to what I go through." 'It could be worse...' Ryoga
thought. 'No! The curse is still his fault. Even aside from the
curse, Ranma still torments Akane, and that's also his fault. And
it's his fault that I'm stuck as Akane's pet instead of her
husband. Everything's his fault, and he must pay!'
   Ranma watched with amusement as Ryoga's face changed from
anger to confusion and back again. He considered taunting him,
but, in a rare bout of good judgement, decided to withhold any
derogatory remarks until they were alone.
   Ryoga changed the subject. "You still haven't told me what's
wrong, Akane. You looked very unhappy when we arrived."
   Akane frowned. "Nabiki's gone. She's been missing for days."
   Ryoga had never cared much for Akane's opportunistic sister,
but he still felt concern on Akane's behalf. "Do you have any
idea what might have happened to her?" he asked.
   "We first thought that she might have left with Crono, Marle,
and Lucca in their time machine," she responded, "but none of
them ever came back."
   Robo broke in, "You mean that there were four of them
traveling in the same time machine?" he asked. "If so, then they
are all in deep trouble. Traveling with more than three people at
a time is very dangerous. It puts a great strain on the space-
time continuum, and probably also on the workings of the Epoch. I
hope that they are all right."
   Robo's dire statements made Akane even more glum, and even
Ranma, who had been trying to hide the worry he had been feeling,
began to look upset. "Is there anything we can do?" Ranma asked.
   Robo shook his head. "We can only wait, and hope for the
best."
   The sky began to darken. Thunder boomed ominously. "We'd
better get inside," noted Ranma.
   "Would you like to stay for dinner, Ryoga?" invited Akane, to
Ranma's irritation. Ryoga nodded gratefully.
   As soon as they had entered the house, rain began to fall. All
of those with Jusenkyo curses, Ryoga in particular, breathed a
sigh of relief. "I hate rain," said Ranma.
   "Well, I suppose we'll have to put you somewhere while you are
staying," said Akane to Robo. "Um, do you...er...sleep?" she
fumbled.
   "I do require an occasional period of dormancy, for purposes
of extensive self-diagnostic, and memory storage and
reorganization. Generally about three hours a day." Then his
glowing green eyes darkened slightly, "Unless, of course, I am in
my human form. Then I require sleep in the same manner as you."
   "Do you need a bed?" Akane asked bluntly.
   "No, my dormancy period can be accomplished in any position,
standing or lying down. I do not need any sort of cushioning."
   "We'll put you in Ranma's room, then," decided Akane.
   "Hey, I've already got Frog and Dad," Ranma protested. "Why
can't he stay in your room?"
   "Well, he's a he." She answered. Then she looked uncertain.
"Aren't you?" she asked the robot.
   "I do think of myself as such," Robo responded.
   "Well, there you go," said Akane triumphantly. "You can just
set him in a corner or something, Ranma. I'm sure he won't be any
trouble."
   Ranma sighed. "C'mon, Robo. I'll show you to my room."
   Ranma and Robo climbed the stairs to the guest bedroom Ranma
shared with his father and Frog. The amphibious knight himself
followed closely, wishing to share private words with his
mechanical ally. Robo looked around the room for a few moments,
and found an unoccupied corner. "This will do nicely," he
announced.
   "Fine, fine," said Ranma, not really caring. Ranma left the
room, leaving Robo and Frog alone.
   Robo sat down and sighed a mechanical sigh. "What happened,
Frog? What are we doing here?"
   "I know not, mine metal friend. As thou hast said, we can but
wait, and hope for the best. Perhaps when our friends return, we
will find the answers." Then he looked concerned. "How art thou
coping with thine own curse? I know from experience the
difficulty in becoming used to a form not thine own."
   Robo nodded. "It is very unpleasant. How can humans stand
being so...awkward?"
   "I daresay we get used to it," Frog responded drily. "I also
would imagine that thou wouldst as well, if thou spent time
enough in thine human form."
   "Now there is an unpleasant prospect," Robo said.
   "I speak in earnest!" insisted Frog. "Thou knowest not how
long thou shalt be cursed, and so long as thou art, thou couldst
become human at any time! Thou shouldst become used to thine
other form, in case something amiss should transpire."
   "I will think about it," Robo muttered.
   Frog was about to continue the argument, when they heard
Akane's voice calling them for dinner. In his robot form, Robo
had no need to eat, but he decided to join them for their
company. The two of them returned downstairs and made their way
to the dining room table. Ranma and Genma were already there, of
course, but Soun and Kasumi soon joined them. Robo was introduced
to those he hadn't previously met.
   Then Ranma's face took a haunted expression. "Where's Akane?"
he asked.
   "She's cooking dinner," Kasumi cheerfully replied.
   Jaws dropped. Ranma shouted, "WHAT?"
   Kasumi nodded. "Nabiki had scheduled to cook tonight as a
project for her Home Economics class. But since she's not here,
Akane volunteered to cook in her place."
   Thinking quickly, Genma grabbed a glass of water and doused
himself with it. The panda then held up a sign reading, [Oops,
guess I'll be eating bamboo tonight.]
   Looking like a hunted animal, Ranma stood and prepared to
flee. "RANMA!" shouted Akane's voice. Ranma stiffened, and
reluctantly sat down. Akane was standing in the doorway, holding
several plates of food. The odor was pleasant, but Ranma knew
better than that.
   "Ahh, so thou art a cook as well?" asked Frog. "I look forward
to sampling thy work."
   "No!" shouted Ranma, panicked. "You'll die!"
   Frog looked at him oddly. Akane glared at him and said, "Shut
up, you idiot. Just because you have no sense of taste doesn't
mean you need to ruin it for the rest of us!" She placed the
deceptively delicious looking meals  onto the table, and began
serving portions.
   "Yeah, Ranma!" agreed Ryoga smugly. "That's no way to talk
about Akane's cooking."
   "Then why don't you eat it!" snapped Ranma.
   "Er," faltered Ryoga, eyeing the food in front of him.
   "Oh, Ryoga! I knew you had better manners than Ranma," beamed
Akane.
   "Er," said Ryoga again. He tentatively took a portion of the
food.
   Suddenly, an alarm began to ring. Robo slapped the food out of
Ryoga's hand onto the floor. "WARNING! WARNING!" Robo announced.
"Sensors indicate that this food is poison! Toxicity measures off
the scale!"
   "What?" asked a startled Akane. "Poison? But this food hasn't
been out of my sight."
   "My sensors do not lie," insisted Robo. "I can detect trace
elements of a large number of neurotoxins and complex biocidal
proteins! Fortunately, the dosages are only enough to cause
severe nausea, but-"
   "There you go, Akane," mocked Ranma, "scientific proof that
you can't cook!"
   "RANMA YOU IDIOT!" screamed a furious Akane, kicking Ranma
through the wall.
   "Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark," said Soun. Genma shuffled
outside to drag the unconscious, and now female, Ranma in from
the rain.
   Robo was talking to a cooling Akane. "So you really just
cooked this?" he asked. Akane nodded miserably. "I am sorry that
I ruined your meal. But this food really is poisoned! It is
incredible that you managed to come up with this virulent a
collection of poisons just by accident! Well, one bad meal is
only a setback."
   "But they're all like this," said Akane, tearfully.
   Robo was surprised. For a moment, he didn't know what to say.
"B-but, that is illogical! No one should be able to regularly
cook like this without trying!" Then, he regained his composure.
"Akane, you need to find help." he said seriously. "Find someone
to teach you how to cook without poisoning your own meals."
   Akane merely nodded. She and Robo carefully gathered the
remaining food, and carried it to the kitchen to throw away.
Kasumi proceeded to order some takeout, while Frog began to
converse with Soun about the weather. Unbeknownst to them all,
foreign ears had been privy to the goings on at the Tendo home.
Dressed in a camouflage leotard, Kodachi Kunou had been listening
at the back door to the house.
   'This is perfect!' she thought to herself. 'Finally, I know
why Ranma prefers that tramp Akane over me. Though it's hard to
imagine, Akane is even better at making poisons than I am! She
does it without even trying! Once I learn her secrets, Ranma will
be able to escape her clutches, and he will be mine. Mine!'
   Carefully, Kodachi made her way around the side of the house
to see if Ranma was all right. She was surprised to see a panda
carrying the redheaded girl she had come to hate back into the
house. She couldn't see her Ranma anywhere. 'I wonder why Akane
trashed that annoying redhead,' she thought in confusion. 'Not
that I wouldn't have loved to do the same. But no matter. Neither
she or Akane will stop me from getting what is mine!'
   Kodachi laughed an evil laugh, and vaulted out of the yard,
leaving a trail of fluttering black rose petals behind her.
Inside the house, the residents shivered at the piercing,
unpleasant sound. "What was that?" asked Akane. No one answered.
   Genma deposited Ranma on a couch. "Too bad Marle isn't here to
heal her," Kasumi mentioned with pity.
   "I will heal her," said Robo. "Cure Beam." He emitted a beam
of purple light, which bathed Ranma in its glow. Her minor cuts
sealed, and her bruises faded to healthy skin. "I also slice,
dice, and make french fries in sixty different ways," Robo
remarked.
   "Incredible," remarked Soun. "French fries!"
   [I love french fries!] said Genma's sign. Soun nodded. The two
of them walked to the kitchen to see if they had any potatoes.

Chapter 7: Perfect Timing

   Another bleak day dawned over the ravaged earth. Nabiki sat up
and rubbed her eyes. She was hungry, but that was nothing new.
Four days had passed, and in spite of vigorous searching, she and
Marle had been unable to find any food, or any animals to use for
food. They had been able to find a source of drinkable water,
fortunately, but if they didn't find food soon, they weren't
going to last.
   Nabiki noted that she and Marle were alone in the Epoch. She
popped the cockpit, and leapt out. She found Lucca hard at work
on the battered time machine. "Lucca, didn't you go to sleep last
night?"
   Lucca turned tired and shadowed eyes on her. "No. I've gotta
get this fixed as fast as possible."
   "You're wearing yourself out. Food or no food, we'll never get
out of here if you die of overexertion. Besides, what if another
monster had attacked? You're in no condition to fight alone."
   Lucca looked longingly at the cockpit of the Epoch, yearning
for a rest. But still she resisted. "Look," said Nabiki, "I'll
continue your work for now. I should be able to fix some of the
damage, though I don't know enough to do any of the detail work.
You need to rest!"
   "All right," said Lucca gratefully. She climbed up into the
cockpit, past Marle who was climbing out.
   Marle nodded approvingly. "It's about time that you got some
sleep," she said. Marle hopped down to the ground and watched
Nabiki work.
   "More industrial espionage, Nabiki?" she asked innocently.
   Nabiki threw her a dirty look, and wiped a smudge of grease
off of her cheek. "You just don't let up, do you?" she demanded
irritably.
   "Nope!" said Marle with cheerful cruelty. "Well, I'm off to
look for food again. See you later. Oh, and don't go and get
horribly killed by any bloodthirsty mutant monsters or anything
like that. That'd just be awful. I'd hate to clean up a mess like
that."
   "Your concern is touching," Nabiki answered drily. Marle
laughed, and walked off.
   Nabiki sighed. 'How many times am I going to have to say that
I'm sorry?' she wondered. 'Probably until we get Crono back,' she
answered herself. Thinking of Crono brought a surge of pity.
'Poor Crono,' she thought. 'It must be awful, just sitting there
alone at the End of Time.'
   Nabiki turned back to her work. The array of gears, wires, and
electronics were baffling, but here and there she could see parts
that were obviously bent out of shape, and wires that had been
knocked loose. As she tackled those, more and more of the details
that Lucca had told her returned to her mind.
   "This bank of crystal diodes is connected to the central core
housing by these three black wires," she remembered Lucca saying.
With a glance, she saw that two of the three wires had been
knocked loose. As she fixed them, she thought, 'Hey, this isn't
going to be so bad after all.'
   As soon as these words had crossed her mind, she heard Marle
scream, "Nabiki! Wake Lucca! We've got trouble."
   Nabiki looked to the sound of her voice, and her eyes widened.
Marle was running from nearly a dozen assorted ugly patchwork
monsters. Many of the monsters had long spikes on the ends of
some limbs, and many seemed to have odd patches of tattered skin
hanging off of them. Quickly, Nabiki scrambled up into the Epoch,
and roused Lucca. "Quick, Lucca, we need some warm water!"
   Lucca, still a bit groggy, stood up and surveyed the
situation. She came to full attention at the sight of the
oncoming creatures, and whipped out her watergun. "I just hope
that they don't turn into something nastier," she muttered.
   Nabiki looked at Lucca as if she had gone mad. "What could be
worse than this?" she demanded. Lucca shrugged, and doused the
creatures, who had just caught up with Marle at the Epoch.
   The creatures did turn into something nastier. Each monster
shrunk down and took the form of a man or woman. Nabiki saw that
what she had taken for spikes and tattered skin was actually
spears, swords, and rough clothing. They all looked at themselves
in horror.
   "What have you done?" asked one, cringing at the sight of pink
flesh coating his five-fingered hands.
   "We have been profaned!" screamed another.
   One particularly large man, evidently the leader, roared,
"Blasphemers! First you refuse the sacred gift of the Shape of
Redemption, and then you seek to deny us that gift, as well?"
   "What do you mean? What gift?" asked Marle, startled by this
turn of events. "Who are you?"
   "The gift of the Jusenkyo Rains!" the man answered. "Why do
you deny your Shape, your one chance for salvation?"
   "This is the only shape we have!" Marle answered.
   The leader drew back and hissed, "Cursed ones! Untouched by
the Rains of Redemption! I had thought the last of your kind had
been destroyed. No matter! You shall not spread to us your dark
disease! Destroy them!"
   "Now wait a minute!" exclaimed Marle. But the people were
beyond listening. One woman rushed her with a sword, forcing her
to jump sideways to avoid her attack. Marle pulled out her
crossbow and fired, skewering the swordswoman.
   "Guess this squirtgun isn't gonna be much use," noted Lucca.
She pulled out her Wondershot and took aim at one of the angry
people. She pulled the trigger, and a faint beam of light struck
the target, a woman with a spear. She glanced at the
insignificant light burns inflicted by the gun and laughed. She
raised her spear and prepared to throw it.
   Lucca slapped her gun a few times as it slowly recharged,
muttering, "Stupid variable damage." She aimed the gun at the
woman again, and fired. This time, a blinding beam of light
blasted forth and struck home, reducing the attacker to a pile of
ashes. "Much better!"
   Nabiki watched all of this with a sick feeling of
helplessness. She could see that there were too many enemies, and
that Lucca and Marle would be overwhelmed eventually. She wanted
to help, but she didn't have a weapon, and couldn't use it if she
did have one. She was a businesswoman, not a fighter! That was
Akane's department!
   Marle was in bad shape. She was bleeding from several wounds,
and was beginning to tire. Taking a moment to shoot another
oncoming fanatic, she quickly turned and scrambled up to the top
of the Epoch to make her last stand.
   Upon seeing Marle climb up, Nabiki suddenly felt a cold grip
in her stomach. No one was watching the other side. She turned,
and to her horror, saw that a man with a spear was climbing over
the closed cockpit toward Lucca. The man reached the top, and
lifted his spear, smiling a wild grin at his oblivious target.
"Lucca!" screamed Nabiki, and lunged desperately towards her, as
the spearman stabbed downwards with murderous intent. She
collided with Lucca, throwing her to the side. Time seemed to
slow down, as Nabiki twisted around to see the spear coming at
her instead. She gasped as the weapon struck her chest and
continued through. She screamed with pain.
   Lucca jumped up from where Nabiki had pushed her and saw
Nabiki neatly spitted on a spear, suspended above the ground by
its holder. She was gritting her teeth and clenching the spear
with whitened fingers, trying to prevent it from moving. The
wielder of the spear gave a vicious laugh, and threw girl and
spear off of the Epoch to the hard ground below. He reached for
another spear from the large bag on his back.
   "You monster!" screamed Lucca, eyes blazing. She held her
hands high and yelled "FLARE!"
   At first, nothing happened. Then, pinpoints of fire began to
converge to a point in the air at the center of the battlefield.
A glowing ball appeared, and then exploded violently. A huge,
expanding ball of flame enveloped the entire area, converting
every attacker into ash in an eyeblink. When the glow died away,
the landscape, the Epoch, and the three time travelers remained
untouched by the magical blaze. Fine soot marked the final
resting place of each enemy.
   Panting, Lucca jumped to the ground and fell to her knees
beside Nabiki. Nabiki was lying curled up on her side in a pool
of blood, still gripping the spear. "Nabiki?" she asked
tentatively.
   Nabiki turned a horribly pale face up to her. Her eyes were
wide, and bright with pain. "Are you alright, Lucca?" she rasped.
A trickle of blood dripped from the corner of her mouth and down
her chin.
   "Me? I'm fine! But you're not!" said Lucca.
   "I don't need you to tell me that," said Nabiki, trying to
grin. Then she clenched her teeth. "It hurts, Lucca. It hurts a
lot. It's hard to breathe."
   "It must have gone through your lung. I'll get Marle," said
Lucca with a desperate look.
   Lucca was starting to stand up when Marle leapt to the ground.
She was grinning. "You really fried 'em, Lucca!" then she saw
Nabiki and the grin faded. "Oh, my."
   Nabiki turned her eyes on Marle. "Really am s'ry 'bout Crono,"
she wheezed. "Had t' say it one las' time..." She closed her eyes
and mumbled, "Don' think m' insurance c'vers this..." With those
words, Nabiki stopped breathing.
   "Marle? She saved my life! Can you save her?..." asked Lucca,
expectantly.
   "She's dying, Lucca," Marle answered. "Cure's not gonna do the
trick. Let's get that spear outta her, and I'll see what I can
do."
   Lucca nodded, and grabbed a small electric saw from her
satchel. She scrambled over to Nabiki, and gingerly gripped the
bloody spear head protruding from her back. She carefully cut
through the wooden shaft at the base of the spear head. Marle
quickly pulled the shaft out, along with a gout of blood. Nabiki,
if she felt anything, gave no sign, but she retained her stubborn
grip on the shaft.
   Marle stood up and clasped her hands in front of her. "Life2,"
she chanted. A golden beam of light burst through the gloomy sky
and bathed Nabiki in shimmering energy. She almost seemed to
sparkle in the gentle glow. Abruptly, the light ceased, leaving
Nabiki whole.
   Nabiki gasped, and then began to breathe normally. She
remained still for a few seconds, and then opened her eyes. "I
feel great!" she exclaimed. Then, apprehensively, "Am I dead?"
   Suddenly, she heard two thumps. She sat up and found that
Marle and Lucca had fallen to the ground. "Marle? Lucca?" she
asked.
   Breathing shallowly, Lucca muttered, "We're tired, 'Beeky.
Flare...Life2... Powerful spells. We were too weak to cast them,
but we had to."
   "No!" exclaimed Nabiki, standing up. She found that she was
still holding the spear shaft, and dropped it with revulsion.
"Now instead of just me dying, you both are dying! That's no
bargain!"
   "Worth it," answered Marle. "You really have changed. 'Sides,
we're not dying. Jus' tired."
   "Keep working on th' Epoch," said Lucca. "I'll finish when I
wake up..." Lucca closed her eyes, and Marle followed suit. Soon,
each were breathing deeply and evenly. Nabiki sighed, and half
carried, half dragged the two sleeping girls to the Epoch. With a
bit of effort, she managed to get them into the cockpit. Then she
returned to work.
   She worked more or less continuously for the rest of the day.
She discovered, to her relief, that while she was still hungry,
it was no longer a painful hunger. Marle's Life2 technique had
done a very thorough job. With renewed vigor, she hammered bent
plates back into shape, reconnected and sealed frayed wires, and
tightened loose connections. The day passed, and she finally
began to feel fatigued. As dusk fell, she closed the cockpit and
settled in, noting that Marle and Lucca were still sleeping
soundly. Nabiki drifted off to sleep.
* * * * * *
   Nabiki woke at dawn the next day, and noted that her hunger
had more of an edge to it. Marle's influence was evidently
wearing off. Marle and Lucca were still sleeping. Concerned,
Nabiki checked to make sure that they were still breathing.
Reassured, she climbed out to begin another day's work.
   She worked until the sun was high in the dismal sky,
occasionally checking up on the sleeping pair. Then, her pace
began to slow, as she realized that the remaining work was
becoming too technical for her. She and Lucca, over the past
several days, had fixed most of the blatant damage, a large
portion of it fixed by Nabiki herself through her renewed
strength the day before. All that was left was detail work, like
shattered banks of delicate diodes, tangled and torn bundles of
complex wiring, and scattered circuit boards--all detail work
that she had no idea how to face. Additionally, she was becoming
worried about Lucca and Marle. They had been asleep for over
twenty-four hours, and showed no sign of recovery. Nabiki had
been unable to wake them or to get them to drink anything. She
was beginning to fear that their condition was more serious than
they had led her to believe. Certainly, they would be in trouble
if they didn't drink something soon. While she couldn't remember
how long a person could go without water, she did remember that
it was not an awfully long time. She climbed up the Epoch again,
intending to check on the two.
   There was a strange man standing on top of the Epoch.
   Nabiki quickly dropped to the ground, and grabbed Lucca's
Wondershot from her satchel. She pointed the gun at the man and
demanded, "Get away from there! Who are you?"
   "Nice reflexes," the man noted. "Very well." He stepped off of
the edge of the time machine, and floated gently to the ground.
Nabiki was able to get a good look at the man. He had pale white
skin and long, straight blue hair. He was wearing camouflage
combat fatigues, and had several pairs of gold earrings in his
pointed ears. His was also wearing brown gloves. His eyes were
fixing her with a cold stare. He gestured toward the somatic
passengers and said, "Them I know. You I don't."
   "Who are you?" Nabiki asked again, not liking this man one
bit.
   "You may call me Magus," he said.
   "Name's Nabiki. Now tell me what you're doing here, or I'll
have to blast you."
   "I'm frightened," Magus said drily, "but very well. I had been
waiting many long years for the events of yesterday. When I saw
Lucca's Flare, I knew my deliverance was at hand. I have need of
that machine." Magus gestured toward the Epoch.
   "Well, tough luck," Nabiki answered. "You can't have it."
   Magus laughed. "You wish to fight me? You're no survivor. I
can tell by the look of you. In fact, I am surprised that it is
Lucca and Marle that lie comatose rather than you."
   "How do you know them?" Nabiki asked, shaken by how quickly
the man had seen through her facade of bravado.
   Magus waved his hand dismissively. "I once fought with them,
and once against them. But it is of no concern. Now, are you
going to put away that gun, or do I have to destroy you? I assure
you, it's all the same to me." Magus began to tug on his gloves,
pulling them tight. The gesture seemed both self-confident and
ominous.
   Feeling helpless, and totally out of her element, Nabiki
dropped the gun. "Excellent," said Magus. "Now, if you'll excuse
me..." he turned toward the Epoch again.
   "You're still out of luck," said Nabiki. "The Epoch's not
working."
   Magus froze. He turned toward Nabiki with an unpleasant frown.
"Not working," he repeated, as if tasting the words and finding
them sour.
   "Not working," Nabiki said again.
   "Can you fix it?" Magus asked.
   "No dice. Only Lucca knows enough."
   "Then I'll have to revive her," Magus sighed. He flew up to
the Epoch, and before Nabiki could react, he had scooped up the
sleeping inventor. "So long, and die well, Nabiki. I see little
other future for you here."
   As he prepared to fly off, Nabiki shouted, "Wait!"
   Magus stopped, irritated. "What is it now?"
   "Do you honestly think Lucca will be willing to help you if
you leave us here to die?" Nabiki demanded.
   "She will help me, or she will die as well," Magus answered.
   Nabiki smirked, feeling old territory around her. "You may be
powerful, but you're obviously not very bright. If you try to
convince her with threats, after killing two of her friends, then
she'd fix the Epoch, alright. She'd fix it to make sure you
joined us in the afterlife." Nabiki rubbed her hands together.
"Let's cut a deal, hmmm?"
   Magus scowled. "What kind of deal?" he grated.
   "Well," Nabiki said sweetly, "you save all three of us, for
starters."
   "And what do I get for this foolish act of charity?"
   "You save us, and I put in a good word for you with Lucca, and
maybe she doesn't disintegrate you. I'll even try to convince her
to let you use her time machine."
   "All right," he snapped. "I'll save your miserable lives. Get
up here!"
   Nabiki quickly swept all the tools into Lucca's satchel. She
climbed up onto the Epoch as Magus grabbed Marle none too gently
with his free arm. Nabiki grasped Magus firmly around the neck,
being careful to make her grip as uncomfortable as possible
without actually strangling the man. "Ok, Magus baby, let's go,"
she crooned.
   "You try my patience," snarled Magus. He leapt into the air
and began to fly in a vaguely northern direction, obviously
straining under the weight of his three passengers.
   "Are we too much for you to handle?" Nabiki taunted. Magus
gave no reply, but continued flying.
   Magus's flight speed was not much greater than an average
jogging speed, but it sure beat running as far as Nabiki was
concerned. Magus seemed to feel otherwise, as he touched down for
frequent rest stops, always to the delight of Nabiki, who
proceeded to harangue him with insults regarding his strength,
speed, and intelligence. On one such stop, Magus interrupted her
and said, "I really am coming to loathe you, you know." Nabiki
merely grinned.
* * * * * *
   The flight lasted many more hours. Evidently, Magus had
traveled a long way to find the Epoch. Magus landed again, this
time in front of a nondescript hillside. He roughly shook free of
Nabiki, and shoved his two sleeping passengers at her. He then
turned toward the hillside and made a few complicated patterns in
the air with his arms, ending by pointing straight at the hill.
The side of the hill shimmered for a moment, and then faded,
revealing a darkened cave. Then, an electric hum began and
phosphorescent lights illuminated the cave, showing it to be a
long tunnel, angled downward. Without a word, Magus grabbed Lucca
and entered the cave, leaving Nabiki to struggle after him under
the burden of Marle.
   They walked steadily downwards for a long time. At least, it
seemed like a long time to Nabiki, who was breathing heavily and
sweating profusely. She wasn't used to this sort of physical
exertion. And she was sure that Magus was laughing at her
distress, though he gave no outward sign.
   Eventually, the hallway leveled off. They walked past several
rooms, but Nabiki was laboring too hard to pay any attention to
them. Finally, they came to a room with several cots, evidently
some sort of infirmary. Magus deposited Lucca on one, and to
Nabiki's relief, gestured for her to do the same. Magus examined
Lucca closely, and asked, "How long have they been this way?"
   "For a day now. Do you know what's wrong with them?"
   Magus ignored Nabiki's question. "How long since they've last
eaten?"
   "Five days."
   Magus nodded. "So, in spite of her hunger, Lucca used Flare?
You must have been in dire straits indeed."
   "We were being overwhelmed, and I had been fatally stabbed-"
   "Fatally stabbed?" Magus interrupted. "You look fine to me.
Don't lie to me, girl."
   "I'm not lying! Marle healed me."
   "Ah, so that was the second surge I felt in the magical
aether. Marle must have used Life2 to save you, in spite of her
own condition. Typical foolish sentimentality. Well, I know how
to cure them. I need stimulants. There should be some in the
refrigerator over there." Magus pointed out a large cooler on the
other side of the room. It had a large, red, medical cross on it.
   Nabiki opened the refrigerator and removed a package of
stimulants and several sterilized syringes. "So, what's the
problem? Aren't they just asleep?"
   "Don't be stupid, girl," Magus snapped, grabbing the
medicines. "They are merely suffering from a magical deficiency."
   "Magical deficiency?" Nabiki asked.
   Magus sighed impatiently. "Every sentient creature possesses
an amount of magical energy, a reservoir, if you will." Magus
loaded a syringe, and jabbed it into Lucca's arm. "While most
people don't consciously use this reservoir, it is still
necessary to their health. When one is not healthy, the body uses
it's magical reserves to help sustain itself. Those who can use
this reservoir have to be careful not to drain it completely. If
they do, they enter a sort of magical coma. Normally, the
reservoir would replenish with a few hours of sleep, but if the
body is ill, this process is halted. I would imagine that Lucca
and Marle's foolish act of altruism, coupled with their hunger,
put them into this state. This stimulant should bring them around
long enough to get some food into them."
   Magus turned and applied the same treatment to Marle. Soon,
Lucca began to groan. Magus pointed into a dark corner, untouched
by the phosphorescent lights of the room. "Bring me a Dark
Fruit," he commanded.
   Dark Fruit? wondered Nabiki. She walked over to the corner. It
was unnaturally dark in the corner. When she gingerly reached in
with her hand, it disappeared from her sight. Feeling around in
the dark, her hand encountered soft leaves and branches. Finally,
she felt a smooth, round object that could only be the fruit. She
gently tugged on it, and the fruit pulled free of its invisible
branch. She brought the fruit out into the light, and it was
revealed to be a pear-shaped black fruit with purple splotches.
It felt soft in her hand. She handed the Dark Fruit to Magus, who
took it without a word.
   By now Marle had started to stir, and Lucca was opening bleary
eyes. She focused them on Magus. "Magus?" she asked weakly.
   Magus shoved the fruit at her. "Eat," he said brusquely.
   Lucca grasped the offering, and took a bite. "Mmmm," she
sighed. She devoured the rest of the fruit quickly. Her eyes
closed, and she slipped back into sleep.
   Nabiki had caught on, and retrieved a second fruit. She was by
Marle's side when she came to, and immediately handed her the
fruit. "Eat this, Marle," she ordered. Marle looked confused, but
did as she was told. Once the fruit was finished, she returned to
her slumber.
   Magus collected the cores and threw them into a wastebasket.
"Each fruit provides a full day's nourishment. After a few hours
of sleep, their magical reserves should be replenished." He
noticed Nabiki eyeing the dark corner longingly. "Oh, go ahead
and take one," he said disgustedly. "There are plenty."
   Without further encouragement, Nabiki took a fruit for
herself. She took a juicy bite, and found the Dark Fruit had a
strange, bittersweet, but not unpleasant taste. Of course, after
nearly a week without food, rotting meat would have probably been
appetizing. "What is this, exactly?" she asked.
   "When all of the vegetation began to die, I knew that I was
going to have to come up with some means of survival," Magus
said. "So I used my magic to create the Dark Fruit plant, a
hybrid of blueberry and a species of cave lichen. Dark Fruit
plants are totally independent of many of the vital soil
nutrients that were all but lost when Lavos decimated this world.
Unfortunately, light of any kind is a bane to it, so I have to
spend a steady amount of magic to keep the plant in total
darkness. But it is a trifling amount, and easily replenished. I
have survived on Dark Fruit for many years now, while the
scavengers outside eat each other out of existence. Now, if you
will excuse me, I have important matters to attend to." Magus
glided out of the room, leaving a bewildered Nabiki alone with
the peacefully sleeping patients.
   Nabiki sat down on an empty cot for a few moments, but quickly
became bored. She decided to explore this place that Magus had
taken them to. She stepped out of the infirmary into the hallway.
She walked slowly down the hallway. She came to a room, but found
it empty, save for a cot and an empty closet. A second glance
also revealed an extremely dark corner, undoubtably housing
another Dark Fruit plant. Overall, the room gave the impression
of being an empty bedroom. Continuing down the hallway, she found
several more empty bedrooms, all spotlessly clean. She also found
a bathroom. She was surprised to find that the bathroom still had
running water. Evidently, through magic, or some other power
source, Magus had decided to keep these facilities in order.
Gratefully, she made use of the functioning toilets. She would
have loved a shower, but the showers, if there were any, were
elsewhere in the building. Nabiki examined herself in a mirror
and grimaced. As she had expected, she was very dirty, and her
hair was a tangled mess. Her shirt had a large, ragged hole in
it, and was badly stained with dried blood. Nabiki shuddered as
she realized that that blood was her own. She tried
unsuccessfully to push the memory of a wooden shaft protruding
from her chest out of her mind.
   Nabiki left the bathroom and continued to explore. She found
several more empty bedrooms. Abruptly, the hallway twisted left.
Glancing at the room at the corner, she found that this one was
not empty. Nabiki supposed that it must be Magus's. Peeking
carefully through the door, she determined that the occupant was
nowhere to be seen. Never one to respect people's privacy, Nabiki
let herself in.
   Magus's room was nearly as sparse as the empty bedrooms were.
There was a cot, neatly made, and a closet full of camouflage
uniforms. In addition, the closet also contained what looked like
a suit of medieval make, complete with cape. There were several
pairs of the brown gloves Nabiki remembered Magus wearing. But
the most striking feature of the room was an easel, paints, and
several canvases. There were many finished paintings, and all of
them featured a beautiful girl with long, blue hair and sad, blue
eyes. She didn't look to be much older than sixteen. She was
portrayed in a variety of ways, here a profile, there a frontal
view. In some she was laughing, or looking thoughtful, or sad. In
the pictures showing more than just the head and shoulders, she
was wearing a shimmering blue gown. A few of the paintings also
featured a single word, 'Schala', which Nabiki took to be the
name of the girl. All in all, Nabiki was impressed by the level
of artistry shown. Then, she stopped short. The girl looked
familiar to her somehow. Nabiki was sure that she recognized that
face from somewhere. She thought for a moment, but drew a blank.
Bemused, Nabiki left the room again.
   Magus's room was the last of the bedrooms. Next to Magus's
room, after the hallway turned left, was just what Nabiki had
been hoping for: a shower room. She found it to be well stocked
with soap and towels, and, like the bathroom, was working. Nabiki
stripped, and proceeded to wash five days of grime away. After
she had toweled off, she observed her clothing dolefully. Her
jeans, though dirty and a little torn, were still in fairly good
shape. The shirt, however, was going to need work. Nabiki
scrubbed at the shirt for a while, and managed to get the
bloodstains to fade slightly. She struggled into the damp shirt
and once again viewed herself in the mirror. 'Much better,' she
thought, 'but I really don't think gaping spear holes suit me.'
Nabiki grasped each side of the hole in her shirt, and tore the
shirt the rest of the way down. Then she tied the two dangling
halves together in a knot just below her chest, leaving her
stomach bare. 'Almost stylish,' she thought as she posed for the
uncritical eye of the mirror. Then she smiled wryly. 'Just who am
I trying to impress? Magus? Right.'
   Feeling much refreshed, Nabiki left the shower room. The
hallway, having just turned left, soon turned left again, running
parallel to the bedroom hallway. Here, there were a variety of
rooms. There was a kitchen, but nothing was working there except
for a refrigerator. The refrigerator was stocked with Dark Fruit,
some whole, some sliced, and jars of what Nabiki guessed must be
Dark Fruit preserves.
   Further down the hall was an arsenal. There were an array of
Bowie knives, pistols, rifles, and semi-automatic weapons, all
covered with dust. Oddly, there was also a rack stocked with
several scythes, and many of these looked to be recently used.
'An odd choice of weapon,' Nabiki thought, 'yet somehow
appropriate.' Nabiki decided to take a knife with her, along with
a belt and sheath for it. Hopefully, she would never have to use
it, but carrying it made her feel a little more comfortable. She
didn't even consider taking any of the guns. They looked to be
old and out of repair, and more likely to blow up than fire.
   Most of the rest of the rooms along this hallway were empty
storage closets. There was also a workshop, where Magus was
evidently forging a new scythe. Pressing on, Nabiki found some
sort of surveillance room, one wall covered with monitors showing
various locations inside and outside of Magus's bunker. To her
embarrassment, Nabiki noted that one monitor showed a clear view
of the shower room. Silently, she hoped that Magus had not been
watching when she had taken her shower. Scanning the monitors,
she could not see Magus on any of them. Where is he? she
wondered. She glanced at the monitor displaying the infirmary,
and saw Lucca and Marle were stirring. She decided to save any
further explorations until after she had brought her two
companions up to date regarding the events of the day.
   Nabiki retraced her steps until she arrived at the infirmary.
She found Lucca sitting on the edge of her cot, holding her head
and groaning. She looked blearily at Nabiki as she entered, and
said, "Morning, Nabiki. I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that
I saw an old ally of ours, Magus, except that he was wearing
camouflage, and he gave me this weird fruit, and-" she suddenly
got a good look at her environs, "-er, it wasn't a dream, was
it?"
   Nabiki shook her head. "Really? Magus?" questioned Marle, just
waking. "So he's here, too?"
   "He didn't try to hurt you, or anything?" inquired Lucca.
   "Oh, of course not!" said Nabiki cheerfully. "He was a perfect
gentleman!"
   "Magus?" Lucca asked incredulously.
   "Once I blackmailed him, that is," finished Nabiki.
   "Blackmailed? How?" Marle asked.
   "He wanted to use the Epoch. When he found out that it wasn't
working, he planned to kidnap Lucca and force her to fix it,
leaving Marle and I to die. I told him that if he saved us as
well, Lucca would be more willing to help him."
   "That sounds like Magus," nodded Lucca.
   "He could have just asked," Marle said severely. "We would
have been more than willing to lend a hand."
   "I don't think that's really Magus's way," said Lucca. "He
never asks for help."
   "So where is he?" asked Marle.
   "I'm not sure. He cured you and Lucca, and then left. I've
been exploring his little base here, but all I've been able to
find is empty bedrooms, a bathroom-"
   "Bathroom?" Lucca and Marle suddenly chorused.
   "I'll show you the way," grinned Nabiki.

Chapter 8: Cooking Time

   Akane stuck her head outside of the front door and carefully
looked around. Not seeing anyone, she opened the door the rest of
the way and hurried out. She had a brown paper bag stuffed under
her arm. Just as she reached the front gate, she heard the very
voice she had been hoping to avoid. "Hey, Akane! Where're you
going?" said Ranma from the rooftop, where he was balanced in a
one-handed hand-stand.
   Akane gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. "Out," she
answered.
   "But where? This is the third day you've been gone!"
   "None of your business," Akane answered, and slammed the front
gate behind her.
   'Akane's been acting really weird lately,' thought Ranma. 'As
soon as she gets home from school, she's out the door again. She
doesn't even train anymore! I'd better see what she's up to. Not
that I care or nothing,' Ranma hastily assured himself. Some part
of his sub-conscious rolled its metaphorical eyes in response.
   Ranma flipped onto his feet and vaulted down to the ground. He
dashed out of the gate in time to see Akane running around a
corner. He followed her, being careful to remain just out of
sight. In time, Akane arrived at the gates of the Kunou mansion.
'What does that tomboy want here? wondered Ranma. It couldn't
be...'
   Ranma watched Akane ring the bell on the front gate. Ranma
crept closer, hiding behind a tree close to the Kunou gate.
Sasuke, Kunou's faithful ninja servant opened the gate. "I need
to see Tatewaki," Akane told him sweetly. Sasuke nodded once and
vanished in a puff of smoke.
   Ranma's mind was reeling. It was true! Akane was seeing...
Kunou, of all people!
   'But you don't care, right?' the same bit of sub-conscious
asked him innocently, 'She's just an uncute, violent, tomboy...'
   'Shut up,' Ranma answered the errant bit of psyche. He ran
around the tree and shouted, "Akane! What are you doing?"
   "Perfect!" smiled Akane. She grabbed a rock from the ground,
and threw it into the tree above Ranma's head.
   "Huh?" said Ranma, and looked up just in time to receive a
bucketful of water in the face. "What'ja do that for, you
tomboy?" Ranma demanded in her new, higher voice.
   "You'll pay for that tomboy crack," grinned Akane. "In
about...three seconds." Akane dashed around the corner.
   "Huh?" said Ranma again, and prepared to follow.
   "Aha!" said Tatewaki Kunou, sweeping Ranma into his arms.
"'Tis not Akane who graces my humble home, but my lovely
pigtailed goddess! Yet, I cannot truly blame Sasuke for his
error. Your beauty is more than sufficient to dazzle the eyes of
one such as he."
   "Gaak," answered Ranma, unable to breathe.
   "She speaks!" Kunou said in ecstasy. His arms loosened enough
for Ranma to wriggle free. "How my heart soars to hear your
lovely voice! Please, grace my ears with more of your perfect
speech!"
   "DIE, KUNOU!!!" Ranma screamed, punching him back through the
front gates (which Kunou had closed behind himself).
   As Ranma stomped off, Kunou slowly sat up among the splintered
remains of the front gate and mumbled, "That didn't hurt." He
then collapsed back into unconsciousness.
   'That tomboy set me up!' seethed Ranma as she turned the
corner. As she had expected, Akane was nowhere to be seen.
Irritated, Ranma turned for home. 'I gotta find out what Akane's
up to! I'll follow her again tomorrow, and try to do a better job
of staying out of sight. And don't you say a word!' she said,
feeling a smug chunk of his mind beginning to ask a snide
question. 'I just want to make sure she's not getting into
trouble. It's my duty as her fiancee. That's all.'
* * * * * *
   Meanwhile, Akane had started to jog. 'That idiot!' Akane
grumbled to herself. 'Now I'm probably gonna be late. Why'd he
have to follow me? It's none of his business what I do with my
spare time.'
   'You could tell him the truth,' part of her mind suggested.
   'No way!' she answered it. 'If I told Ranma I was taking
cooking lessons, he'd just laugh, and tell me not to poison my
teacher. Besides, I want it to be a surprise. I'm gonna cook the
best dinner ever served in our house, and Ranma won't get any of
it!' Akane smiled at the thought of Ranma on his knees, begging
her to cook for him.
   'Must you always fight with him?' part of her mind sighed.
   'It's his fault,' Akane answered defensively. 'He always
starts it. He's always insulting my food, or hurting P-Chan, or
calling me a tomboy-'
   'You are a tomboy,' her mind reminded her dryly.
   'Well, he says it like an insult!' insisted Akane.
   'You seem to want everything he says to be an insult. You
always blame him whenever Ukyou, or Shampoo, or Kodachi is close
to him, though you know very well it's not his fault.'
   'But-'
   'You smash him whenever you catch him in...awkward situations,
even though you know it was accidental, and he wasn't trying to
be a pervert.'
   'He is a pervert!'
   'And you call him a pervert, even though you know how much it
hurts him. It's not his fault that he fell into that pool in
Jusenkyo. It's not his fault that he's your fiancee. And it's not
his fault that so many women are after him.'
   'Well, everything else is his fault!' Akane retorted. Her mind
merely sighed in response.
   Akane's destination, one of several apartments, came into
view. Akane pondered her good fortune. The day after Robo had
suggested she find someone to teach her how to cook, she had
begun searching the local newspapers, in the hopes of finding
someone with a cooking class. To her surprise, she found
Dakochi's advertisement. Dakochi had been looking for a student,
and offered extremely reasonable rates. Akane was glad that she
had answered the advertisement before anyone else.
   Still, her sessions with Dakochi were not quite what she had
expected. For the first couple of days, Dakochi made Akane cook
in her usual manner. So, Akane would heap together the usual
ingredients and produce meals of varying toxicity, while Dakochi
watched her intently, scribbling in the notepad she always
carried with her. But yesterday, Dakochi had promised to actually
teach Akane how to cook something at their next session. That was
today! Akane could hardly wait.
   Akane bounded up the front steps and rang the doorbell. After
a few moments, the door opened. Dakochi, wearing her usual white
lab coat, stood there frowning. She looked crossly at Akane
through her thick, wire-rimmed spectacles. "I was beginning to
think that you weren't coming," she scolded.
   "I'm sorry!" Akane answered. "I was...delayed."
   "Hmph. Well, don't let it happen again." Dakochi's demeanor
shifted, and she smiled. "Are you ready to try your hand at some
real cooking?"
   "Oh, yes!" Akane followed Dakochi into the apartment.
Dakochi's dwelling was not large. It consisted of a kitchen, a
bedroom, a living room, and a bathroom. The living room was
filled with Bunsen burners, beakers, glass tubing, and other
chemistry stuff. Evidently, Dakochi was a chemist as well as a
cook. There was also a cage full of white mice.
   The two of them reached the kitchen. Akane set down her brown
paper bag, in which she carried her cooking utensils. "I thought
that it might be a good idea to start simple," said Dokachi.
"Today, I'm going to teach you how to boil rice." Dokachi reached
into a cupboard and pulled out a bag of rice. "But first, I want
to try an experiment." She pulled a pair of tweezers out of a
pocket of her lab coat, and gently pinched a grain of rice from
the bag. She carried the rice to the living room, while Akane
followed with interest. Dakochi knelt beside the mouse cage, and
poked the tweezers into the cage. Before long, one of the mice
sniffed its way over, and took the grain in its tiny paws. It
stuffed the grain into its mouth contentedly. Dakochi watched
intently for a few seconds and then muttered, "No reaction. Just
as I expected." She scribbled in her notepad for a few seconds,
and walked back into the kitchen.
   Akane followed, bemused. "What was that all about?" she asked.
   "Oh, nothing, nothing," Dakochi answered. "Now, here's what
you need to do. Fill that pot halfway with water, and pour some
rice in..."
   After a few minutes, Akane was well underway boiling some
rice. "Great!" smiled Dakochi, "Now, call me when the water
begins to bubble. I'm going to be in the living room running some
tests." Dakochi left.
   Akane stood there, stirring the rice occasionally. Soon, she
became bored. 'Rice is so boring,' Akane thought. 'It doesn't
even taste exciting. I know! I'll add some spices! That ought to
make it better.'
   Akane walked over to the nearby spice rack and looked at the
labels intently. 'Now, what sounds exciting,' she thought.
'Ginger? No. Cinnamon? No. Ah, saffron sounds interesting. So
does thyme. But which should I use? Well, if one is interesting,
then both should be even more interesting!'
   Akane took the two containers, along with a few other spices
that caught her eye, and carefully mixed a portion of each into
the rice. Then, with another thought, she emptied the containers
into the pot. 'That should do the trick,' she thought. She
continued stirring, and found that it was much harder to do so.
The pot was now filled with a viscous brown goo. 'But it does
smell more interesting,' thought Akane. Then she noticed a single
bubble rise laboriously to the surface of the gunk and slowly
pop. 'Ahh, it's started to bubble.' "Dakochi!" she called. "It's
bubbling!"
   Dakochi rushed in. Her eyes widened at the nauseating brew in
front of her, but she made no comment. "Er, right. Well, now turn
off the heat, and drain the water. Be careful not to pour any of
the rice down the drain."
   Akane followed her instructions, and carefully tilted the pot
over the sink, allowing most of the brown goo to ooze out. The
pot now contained a mound of brownish rice grains. The smell was
strong, but it was hard to say whether it was a good smell, or a
bad smell. Akane triumphantly held up her creation. "I did it!"
   Dakochi said nothing, but grabbed a grain of rice with her
tweezers. Once again, she walked to the living room and fed the
grain to one of her lab mice. This time, however, The rodent
turned a distinct shade of green and began spasming violently. It
rushed to the cage's water bottle, and began to suck on it,
swelling like a balloon. After doing this for a while, the mouse,
now a furry ball with little dangling legs, breathed a sigh of
relief and lost its green pallor. The water bottle was empty.
   Dakochi looked at Akane questioningly. Akane sighed and said,
"Well, I guess I'd better try again."
   Several hours later, the grueling session was over. Dakochi,
through some miracle, had managed to help Akane boil an edible
pot of rice, and Akane was eager to put her newfound skills to
the test at home. "Goodbye!" she called, running out the door.
   Dakochi sighed with relief. She hoped that she wouldn't have
to put up with Akane much longer. Carefully, she copied down the
name and quantity used of each of the spices that Akane had used
for each toxic pot of rice. 'Soon,' she thought, 'soon I will be
ready.' She threw back her head and laughed a piercing, evil
laugh.
   Halfway down the street already, Akane shuddered at the sound.
'What was that?' she wondered. Her mind then returned to her
previous train of thought. She knew Ranma too well to expect him
to give up following her already. But he wasn't likely to fall
for the same trick twice. Slowly, Akane came up with a plan. Her
eyes lit up mischievously. 'Yeah, that should do the trick.'
Akane giggled quietly to herself in anticipation.
* * * * * *
   The next day, Ranma carefully hid himself in the branches of a
tree, and waited for Akane to exit the house. 'There's no way
she's gonna see me now,' he thought. His patience was rewarded,
as Akane cheerfully skipped out of the house and down the street.
Ranma quietly followed, constantly keeping some object between
himself and Akane. Once again, Akane made her way to the Kunou
residence. She stopped, and looked around carefully. She waited a
few moments expectantly, and then looked at her watch. Seemingly
satisfied, Akane continued on her way.
   Ranma chortled to himself. 'Ha! She didn't see me.' Ranma
carefully left his hiding spot and started to move across the
road to get to another, being very careful to stay well away from
the tree Akane had boobytrapped the day before.
   Then, a bicycle bell chimed. The color drained from Ranma's
face. Seconds later, the inevitable impact. "Sh-Shampoo!" Ranma
gasped, straining to get the bicycle and rider off of his chest.
   "Ranma!" shouted Shampoo, deliriously happy. "Shampoo not
expect see you here!" She hopped off of her bicycle and grabbed
Ranma up in an amorous embrace.
   "Please, Shampoo, I'm busy," protested Ranma, attempting to
pry Shampoo off of him.
   Shampoo looked crushed. "Too busy talk Shampoo?" she asked,
looking ready to cry.
   "Er," said Ranma, sheepishly.
   Shampoo decided to take that as a 'no'. "Good!" she exclaimed
cheerfully, and glomped onto Ranma again.
   "Erk," said Ranma, and struggled free again. Ranma sighed,
realizing that he would never catch up to Akane now. "What are
you doing here, anyway?" he asked Shampoo.
   "Shampoo make ramen delivery, of course. Have six boxes ramen
noodles for Kunou mansion. Help Shampoo for to carry?"
   Ranma sighed, knowing Shampoo was fully capable of carrying
six times that amount. But why not? Ranma hefted a few boxes and
followed Shampoo to the front gate.
   Shampoo rang the bell, and the door was soon answered by
Sasuke. "Have large order ramen for Kunou," said Shampoo.
   Sasuke looked confused. "Er, we didn't order any ramen."
   "Is gift. You take ramen, and I find card."
   Sasuke took the boxes of ramen while Shampoo rummaged in her
pockets. Eventually, she found the card and handed it over.
Sasuke, carefully balancing the ramen, read the card, and looked
at Ranma oddly. He then read it aloud, "'To my dearest Tatewaki,
from your loving Pigtailed Goddess.' Well, if you say so."
   Ranma and Shampoo's jaws dropped. "What?" they exclaimed.
   "Wait! I didn't write that!" exclaimed Ranma. But it was too
late. Sasuke had vanished with the ramen and the card.
   A few moments later, Ranma and Shampoo could hear Kunou's
happy voice yelling, "Yes! The Pigtailed One has finally found
the courage to return my boundless love! My heart soars with
joy!"
   Ranma and Shampoo, a bit sickened, turned to leave. 'Akane!'
thought Ranma. 'She set me up. Again! Well, I'm still not giving
up. Not if she sets everyone in town in my path. I will find out
what she's up to.'
   At the same time, Akane was thinking, 'This is actually kind
of fun. Hmm, how should I nail him next? I know!'
* * * * * *
   The following afternoon, Ranma was following Akane again. This
time, Akane had tried to throw Ranma off the track by going
straight to her destination from school rather than stopping off
at home first. 'Clever,' thought Ranma, 'but not clever enough.'
He stepped out from behind a telephone pole, and immediately
tripped over something.
   "Ranma Saotome, you will pay for what you've done!" cried a
familiar voice.
   "Mousse," Ranma groaned. "Not now!" Mousse's glasses were down
now, a sign that he meant business.
   "Silence! I will hear no more of your lies!"
   Ranma was becoming irritated. "Look, you know that you can't
beat me, so just shove off!"
   "No one can defeat a Master of Hidden Weapons forever! Defend
yourself!" With a flick of the wrist, Mousse retracted the heavy
ball and chain he had flung across Ranma's path. The massive
object disappeared into Mousse's voluminous sleeves without a
trace. Then, with another flick, a small silver cylinder appeared
in his hand. Mousse twisted it, and a yard-long beam of green
light extended from the end. The device produced sort of a
humming sound.
   Ranma was astounded. "When did you get a light-saber?" he
asked, barely dodging Mousse's strike. The weapon sliced easily
though the wood of the telephone pole behind him, which collapsed
to the ground amid a shower of sparks.
   "That's light-SWORD," snarled Mousse. "You want us to get sued
for copyright infringement!?!"
   "Sheesh, sorry," muttered Ranma. "But whatever it is-" Ranma
dodged another wild swing, which carved a deep scar into the
sidewalk, "-you obviously aren't very good at using it."
   Mousse seemed to agree, as the light and cylinder vanished
into his robes. Just as suddenly, an ugly box was in his hands.
"See how you fare against my Hypno Wave!" he laughed, flipping a
switch on the box. Abruptly, Ranma felt dizzy. He collapsed to
his knees, feeling a severe wave of fatigue wash over him.
   'So...tired,' he thought, his eyes beginning to close. He
glanced over to Mousse, and almost laughed. Mousse, too, was on
his knees, eyelids drooping. Suddenly, Mousse recovered, and
slammed a switch on the box. The dizziness stopped, and Ranma
stood up.
   "Stupid box," muttered Mousse. "I didn't know it was going to
affect me too. No matter." Mousse stashed the box away.
   Ranma wasn't about to see what other new toys Mousse had up
his sleeves, he leapt at the bespectacled warrior, intending to
pound him into submission. His forward motion abruptly ceased,
and he felt an iron grip around his body, pinning his arms to his
sides. Looking down, he saw that he was tightly held in the grasp
of some kind of robotic claw. The claw was attached to a long,
thin, multijointed arm, which, in turn, disappeared into Mousse's
sleeve. Mousse laughed, and raised his arm above his head. The
robotic arm mimicked his movements precisely. Mousse swung his
arm down, and the claw pounded Ranma into the pavement with
jarring force. Mousse flung his arm outward and opened his palm.
The claw pitched Ranma into a wall, where he slid to the ground,
stunned. Before he could take advantage of his freedom, however,
the claw had grabbed him again. This was not turning out to be a
good day.
   Mousse swung Ranma around again, and this time accidently
knocked over a water hydrant. This was exactly what Ranma needed.
The jolt of cold water shocked Ranma out of the daze of pain she
was suffering. But more importantly, Ranma's female form was a
little bit smaller than her male form...
   Using the water as an additional lubricant, Ranma popped
herself free of Mousse's metal claw before it could adjust to her
new size. She ran along its length and jumped onto Mousse's arm.
"Nyaah!" she nyaahed, sticking her tongue out at her antagonist.
   Furious, Mousse bent his arm, trying to get the metal claw to
grab Ranma. Ranma jumped out of the way, and the claw slugged
Mousse neatly across the jaw. He staggered back. Seeing that
Ranma was too fast to be caught by the arm now that she knew of
it, Mousse retracted the arm into his sleeve. "Well, when all
else fails," he muttered, "go with what you know." Mousse leapt
into the sky, and whipped his arms around. Fifty or sixty heavy
chains erupted from his sleeves, each tipped with a hook, weight,
or blade. Ranma, standing on the sidewalk, saw them coming a mile
away. She ducked to the ground, and the arsenal of chains passed
easily over her head, crunching into the sidewalk behind her.
Mousse landed on top of an intact section of fence, the chains
dangling limply from his sleeves.
   "That was pathetic!" jeered Ranma, "You're so blind you
couldn't hit me if I was standing right in front of you!"
   Oddly, Mousse smiled. "Who says I was trying to hit you?" he
chuckled. He suddenly pulled the chains taut.
   Ranma heard a grating sound behind her, and turned around. The
chains had snagged a huge square of cement from the sidewalk, and
had pulled it free. Ranma barely had time to gasp before the
block was on top of her, pinning her to the ground.
   Ranma heard Mousse's confident footsteps approaching, and with
the strength of desperation, managed to shove the cement off of
herself. Ranma felt drained. How could Mousse be defeating her?
Where did he get all of those gadgets? 'Gadgets? Uh oh.' Lucca's
voice sprang unbidden to his mind, "I bet I can make new weapons
ten times as painful as the ones he has now!" 'I guess it's time
to pull the old Saotome Family Secret Technique.' Ranma turned
tail and began to run for his life.
   "Oh, no you don't, you coward!" screamed Mousse behind her.
Ranma heard a buzzing sound rapidly getting louder, and dodged to
the side to avoid whatever new threat Mousse had pitched at her.
Unexpectedly, the buzzing sound also shifted to the side. Ranma
felt something touch her leg, and abruptly she sprawled to the
ground, twisting in midair to land hard on her back. Her breath
was knocked out of her. Before she could draw another, Mousse's
metal claw slammed down, each pincer burying itself several
inches into the concrete on either side of Ranma's neck,
squeezing her throat painfully against the ground.
   Ranma wheezed and grabbed the pincers, trying to force them
apart. She might as well have been trying to push the moon out of
orbit. She devoted all of her effort towards filling her lungs,
and managed to draw a painful breath. She couldn't move her legs
at all. They were being held together by something, but the claw
prevented her from seeing what. Then, Mousse was standing above
her, a scowl on his face. "Finally, Ranma, you shall pay for
taking Shampoo from me, and pay dearly!" With a flick of the
wrist, Mousse was holding a sword in his free hand. "And to
think. If it was not for Lucca, I might have had to wait much
longer for my revenge. As it is, it took me a week to decipher
her accursed user's manuals, but it is all worth it now."
   "What did I do?" choked Ranma, eyeing Mousse's sword
fearfully.
   "Don't play stupid with me!" Mousse snarled, "You're not
qualified!" Then he blinked a few times. Ranma looked at him,
confused. "Wait, that didn't come out right," Mousse muttered.
Then he straightened, "At any rate, Shampoo told me about your
little kiss yesterday!"
   Now Ranma was really confused. "Kiss? What kiss?"
   This seemed to startle Mousse. "You know, when you vilely
accosted her at Kunou's? The one that lasted for hours? That
kiss?"
   "There wasn't any kiss," Ranma insisted.
   "Are you suggesting that sweet Shampoo would lie to me?"
Mousse roared. Ranma looked at him, and Mousse's angry look
turned to one of sheepishness, "Well, actually, I suppose she
would." Then to despair, "Why must she torment me so? Why must
she reject my love?"
   'For the same reason I reject hers,' Ranma thought ironically.
'Or that you reject Lucca's.' Ranma tactfully refrained from
mentioning this to Mousse. If she was going to stand any chance
of getting out of this alive, she was going to have to handle
things extremely delicately.
   Too bad Mousse wasn't willing to help. "YOU, SAOTOME! You are
the reason!" Mousse had a hysterical look in his eyes, "Once
you're gone, nothing will stand between us!" He lifted the sword
again. Ranma clenched her eyes shut, expecting the end. "Now DIE,
foul--quack! quack! quack?"
   Ranma heard a crash, like a bag of tools hitting the ground,
and felt droplets of moisture pattering on her face. Warily, she
opened an eye a crack. She saw an extremely ruffled glasses-
wearing duck standing on top of a pile of clothes. Ranma turned
her head, and saw a most welcome sight. The powerful jet of water
from the overturned fire hydrant was being redirected towards the
spot Mousse had been standing. It was being redirected by the
flat blade of an enormous spatula, and holding that spatula was-
   "Ucchan!" Ranma coughed.
   "Ranchan!" she answered, hurrying over. She casually batted
Mousse out of the way, causing him to land in a dazed heap.
   "Quaaack!" he quaaacked weakly.
   With a smooth motion, Ukyou slung her spatula across her back.
"Let me get this thing off you, sugar." She grabbed the robotic
arm, and pulled. Her leverage was much better than Ranma's, and
she yanked the arm free with ease. She dropped it onto Mousse's
pile of clothes.
   Ukyou helped Ranma into a sitting position. Ranma looked
awful, covered with long, shallow cuts and nasty bruises. "You
look awful," Ukyou said.
   "Ucchan?" Ranma said faintly.
   "Yes, Ranchan, I'm here."
   "I'm glad I'm a girl."
   "Huh? Why?"
   "Because, I'm going to faint." Ranma fainted.
   Ukyou frowned with irritation. Ranma could be such a
chauvinist pig at times. But the frown quickly turned to one of
concern. Carefully, Ukyou unwound the strange contraption that
had entangled Ranma's legs. It seemed to be some sort of bolo-
like device, but the bolo balls looked like little remote
controlled jets. She tossed it onto the pile, and gathered Ranma
up into her arms, intending to get her to Dr. Tofu as quickly as
possible.

Chapter 9: Recovery Time

   Ranma awoke a while later to see the concerned faces of Ukyou
and Dr. Tofu. Dr. Tofu, the Tendo's family chiropractor, was a
tall, handsome, bespectacled man in his mid-twenties. Ranma found
himself male again, and in much less pain than before, though he
felt an uncomfortable throbbing in his left leg. "Ah, good,
you're awake," said Dr. Tofu. "How do you feel?"
   "Much better!" exclaimed Ranma with a bravado he didn't really
feel. He sat up suddenly, and was nearly overwhelmed with a
headache.
   "Don't move too rapidly," Tofu warned. "You were beaten up
pretty badly."
   "Nnnn," groaned Ranma, lying down again. "'mpossible. Mousse
can't beat me up."
   "He nearly killed you," scolded Ukyou.
   "Jus' caught me by surprise, tha's all." He suddenly noticed
something. "Hey, I can't move my foot!"
   "You twisted your ankle pretty severely," the doctor
explained. "You're going to have to leave it in a cast for a
couple of days until it heals. I want you to put as little weight
on it as possible until then. I'll be loaning you a wheelchair
for the time being."
   This got Ranma's attention. "What? I'm no cripple! I can walk
perfectly well!"
   Dr. Tofu looked stern. "I mean it, Ranma. No walking if you
can help it."
   At that point, Soun Tendo burst into the room. He collapsed to
his knees, tears streaming down his face. "Oh, my poor, poor son-
in-law! Ukyou explained everything over the phone! To be maimed
for life! Cut down in the prime of youth! What a tragedy!!!" Soun
broke into convulsive sobbing.
   "Mr. Tendo, I'm not maimed for life!" mentioned a somewhat
exasperated Ranma. Soun was too far gone to hear his words,
however, huddled at the foot of Ranma's bed.
   "Are you OK, son?" came his father's gruff voice from the
doorway. Genma stepped through, a concerned look on his face.
   "Look, I'm fine!" insisted Ranma. "I've had much worse,
really!"
   Ukyou looked sheepish. "Well, maybe I exaggerated a little
over the phone..."
   "You said he was DYING," accused Genma.
   "No, I said he was nearly killed!" Ukyou shot back.
   "You mean to say that you dragged all of us down here for-"
   "All of you?" asked Ranma suddenly. "Even...Kasumi?"
   Genma paled. Soun stopped crying and looked up in horror. "Oh,
no! She'll be here any second!" Soun exclaimed. "We've got to get
out of here!"
   Too late. "Good afternoon, Doctor Tofu!" Kasumi smiled
cheerfully, standing in the doorway.
   "Ka-kasumi!" stuttered Tofu, his glasses fogging over and his
brain shutting down. "Imagine meeting you here!"
   Kasumi giggled. "Well, this is your office, Doctor. How's
Ranma?"
   "Oh, he's fine, fine. I was just about to remove Betty-chan's
appendix. It's been inflamed something awful!" Dr. Tofu suddenly
grabbed Betty, the skeleton he always kept around his clinic, and
threw her onto the operating table. Unfortunately, Ranma was
still there, and he yelped in surprise. Dr. Tofu grabbed a random
scalpel and swung awkwardly at the table, neatly shearing away a
lock of a startled Ukyou's hair on the way. Ranma cried out, and
rolled to the floor with the skeleton on top of him. Ranma
cautiously peered over the edge of the table, and saw the
scalpel, quivering slightly, buried up to the handle in the
smooth table surface--right where his heart would have been.
   "Oh, my," said Dr. Tofu, "I wonder where Betty's run off to? I
guess she wasn't sick after all." Dr. Tofu leapt up onto the
table top and began trying to pull the scalpel free.
   "Now's our chance, boy!" exclaimed Genma. He grabbed Ranma up
off of the floor, and shoved him into a wheelchair. He wheeled
him madly toward the door, grabbing Soun with a free arm. He
crashed into Ukyou, who was feeling her hair, stunned, knocking
her off her feet and onto Ranma's lap.
   Kasumi, still enthralled with the mad doctor, nevertheless
calmly stepped aside as the frenzied foursome careened out the
door. "I'll see you later!" she called to them. "I'm going to
stay with Doctor Tofu for a little while longer."
   "Just be home for dinner!" called a diminishing Soun, afraid
that if Kasumi wasn't home to cook dinner, Akane would...
* * * * * *
   A while later, the breathless group coasted to a halt at the
Tendo home. "We're alive!" laughed a crazed Genma. "We're alive!
We're alive!"
   "Um, you can get off of me now, Ucchan," said Ranma, a bit
embarrassed. Ukyou had decided that she didn't at all mind her
unplanned position atop her fiancee, and had taken advantage of
the opportunity to snuggle. Reluctantly, she released her cozy
embrace, and stepped to the ground.
   Ranma started to get up as well, but Ukyou pushed him back
down. "Oh no you don't, Ranchan. Doctor Tofu said that you had to
stay off your feet for a while."
   "But-"
   "No buts," his father interrupted. "If that's what the doctor
said, then that's what you're gonna do, boy," Genma insisted.
Seeing that Ranma was still unwilling, he added, "Do you want us
to tie you down?" Ranma sagged, and shook his head miserably.
"Good."
   Then Ranma perked up. "What about Robo? He can probably use
his Cure Beam thing to fix this right up!"
   "Sorry, He left with Frog and Ryoga on a trip to downtown
Tokyo for the weekend."
   "Downtown? Why?"
   "They wanted to search the libraries there to see if they
could pinpoint the exact location of Jusenkyo, so we'd be able to
find it again if we ever returned to China."
* * * * * *
   At that moment, Robo, Frog, and Ryoga were standing by the
Eiffel Tower, looking confused and drawing stares. "I didn't know
that they moved the Eiffel Tower to Tokyo," Ryoga muttered.
   "I knew it was a bad idea to let Ryoga lead the way," said
Robo.
   "Hey, I've been all over Tokyo!" Then he began to look
uncomfortable, "Of course, never exactly where I wanted to go,
but..."
   "That does it. Give me the map, Ryoga."
* * * * * *
   Back at the Tendo home, Soun had broken down and started to
sob anew. "And we're all out of french fries!"
   Ranma was frustrated. "So, I'm stuck in this stupid chair
until they get back. Just great."
   "I'm home!" Akane announced, strolling cheerfully into the
house. When she saw Ranma in his wheelchair, she gasped and
dropped her brown paper bag. "Ranma! What happened!"
   "He just got pounded by Mousse," Ukyou offered helpfully.
   "Hey, I wouldn't say I was pounded exactly-" protested Ranma.
   "M-mousse?" said Akane weakly, taking a step back. "He did
this to you?"
   "Yeah," Ranma grumped, "he decided to exercise all of his new,
improved, patent-pending, hidden weapons on me. He couldn't have
picked a worse time, either. I was following--er, on an important
errand. I don't know how he found me."
   "How bad is it?" asked Akane fearfully, bending down to pick
up her bag (which, fortunately, hadn't spilled any incriminating
cookware onto the floor).
   "The cuts and bruises should heal quickly, but this sprained
ankle's gonna take a few days--hey, Akane, what's wrong? You look
pale."
   "It's nothing," she answered. "Er, I'll be in my room, ok?"
She quickly rushed upstairs.
   "What's the matter with her?" asked Genma.
   Ranma's face darkened. "I have my suspicions. I need to talk
to Akane. In private!" he added, noting Genma and Soun's
interested looks. Ranma rolled to the stairway, and then looked
up at the stairs, temporarily balked. He slid out of the
wheelchair, and folded it into its flattened storage shape. He
then flipped into a handstand, picked up the wheelchair with his
good leg, and proceeded to climb the stairs on his hands.
   "That's my boy!" grinned Genma, pleased. "Saotome's have
always thrived under crippling conditions."
   "I'm NOT a cripple!" Ranma called back, irritated. At the top
of the stairs, he unfolded the wheelchair again. He climbed in
and wheeled his way over to Akane's room.
   As he raised his hand to knock on her door, he heard Akane
say, "Come in, Ranma." He entered the room, shutting the door
behind him. Akane was sitting on her bed, gazing at the floor
guiltily.
   "You told Mousse where to find me, didn't you?" he asked.
Akane nodded. "Why?"
   Akane looked up angrily. "Why? I told you! I didn't want you
to follow me. I had hoped that you would have gotten the hint
after Kunou and Shampoo!" She looked down again. "But I didn't
want you to get hurt, not badly anyway. I was certain that you'd
be able to mop up with Mousse, just like you always do when he
challenges you. I wanted enough time to get too far ahead for you
to follow."
   "Well, your little plan worked," said Ranma, bitterly. "I sure
won't be able to follow you like this."
   "You idiot!" exclaimed Akane, channeling some of her guilt
into her anger. "Why were you following me anyway!"
   "You're my fiancee. I need to take care of you," said Ranma
softly, gazing at Akane solemnly.
   Akane deflated like a balloon. 'I hate it when he's like
this,' thought Akane to herself. 'He's so easy to deal with when
he's a pompous, arrogant, chauvinist pig. But this, this I don't
know how to handle. One part of me wants to slug him, and another
wants to hug him!'
   Ranma, for his part, saw only that Akane was sitting on her
bed, fists clenched tight. Her eyes were wide, and confused, and
she was opening and closing her mouth. 'Oh, shut up,' he told the
section of his brain that had begun wildly cheering for him.
Ranma slowly turned, and rolled toward the door.
   He opened the door, and Genma and Soun collapsed into the
room. "You're worse than Nabiki," he told them, and proceeded to
roll ungently over them and out the door.
   Downstairs, Ranma found Ukyou gazing into a mirror. She turned
as he approached, and he noticed for the first time how lopsided
Doctor Tofu's impromptu haircut made Ukyou look. She smiled wanly
at him. "Looks pretty bad, doesn't it, Ranchan?" Ranma nodded
sympathetically. "Guess I should get the rest cut then. Do you
think I'll look all right with short hair?"
   "Even bald you'd look great, Ucchan," said Ranma simply. Ukyou
blushed, and said goodbye, heading out the door.
   Ranma mused thoughtfully for a moment. 'Why is it so easy for
me to compliment Ucchan, and so hard to compliment Akane?' he
wondered.
   'Because she's Ucchan!' the other, normally dominant (and
resenting its temporary submissive state) part of his mind
answered. 'Good ol' Ucchan! Best buddy Ucchan.'
   'So?'
   'Well, Akane's just...just...too violent.'
   'Ucchan can be and has been just as violent as Akane.'
   'Er, Akane's a tomboy.'
   'Ucchan lived as a boy for ten years after we abandoned her.'
   'Akane...well, she's...she's...Akane!'
   Ranma slumped. 'Then I guess that has to be the answer,' he
thought with a sigh.
* * * * * *
   The weekend passed. Akane continued her cooking lessons
without Ranma's unwanted company. She worked on perfecting her
rice boiling, and was now able to consistently cook up a pot of
boiled rice that was not only non-toxic, but actually tasty. At
the same time, Dakochi had her periodically try some more complex
recipes, but these attempts continued to result in meals which
produced sickness and nausea in laboratory animals.
   "Hello, Dakochi!" Akane greeted cheerfully as Dakochi let her
in for Monday's lesson.
   Dakochi shut the door and grinned widely at Akane. "Ah, I have
good news, Akane! Today is your final lesson!"
   Akane was confused. "But I've hardly learned anything," she
said.
   "Oh, but I've learned so very, very much!" Without warning,
Dakochi pulled a long gymnastics ribbon out of her pocket. She
whipped it at a startled Akane, and it twirled around her body,
wrapping her up like a mummy. Only Akane's head was uncovered.
   Akane struggled briefly in her encasement, succeeding only in
falling to the floor. She froze as Dakochi laughed an
unpleasantly evil laugh. Dakochi threw off her lab coat, flipped
off her glasses, and posed triumphantly in her purple and black
leotard. "Kodachi!" gasped Akane.
   "I just wanted to thank you, Akane," Kodachi purred. "You've
taught me things about poisons that I had never dreamed of! And
now that your secrets are mine, there is nothing standing between
my darling Ranma and I!"
   Akane's face burned as she realized how she had been used.
Dakochi...Kodachi! It was so obvious. "Ranma will never submit to
you!" she yelled.
   "Of course he will, you silly girl! Especially when he sees...
this!" With a flourish, Kodachi produced a syringe filled with a
greenish-brown liquid (from where she produced it was uncertain,
as there seemed to be nowhere to hide such an item on her form-
fitting leotard). "This is the essence of your cooking, a poison
more potent than any I have concocted before! When Ranma sees
that I have mastered your art, you will have no more hold over
him!"
   Kodachi stepped over Akane and grabbed the door handle. "Oh,
don't worry. Once darling Ranma and I are married, I'm sure you
will make an excellent test subject in my lab." Kodachi laughed
again. "But for now, accept this gift as a thank-you for all
you've done!"
   Kodachi tossed a an object at the prone figure. A bouquet of
black roses landed in front of Akane's face, and emitted a cloud
of black gas. "Kodachi!..." said Akane again before falling
unconscious, evil laughter ringing in her ears.
   Kodachi laughed and laughed as she leapt and bounded across
town, vaulting easily from fence posts and rooftops to lampposts
and car tops. Occasionally, she even touched the ground. Her mind
was a happy jumble of thoughts, visions of her and Ranma together
(often very close together) dancing through her head. Soon she
reached the Tendo residence, and found Ranma practicing katas
from his wheelchair. 'A wheelchair?' thought Kodachi angrily.
Someone would have to pay for hurting her dearest Ranma. Then she
sighed dreamily, just watching Ranma for a few moments from her
position atop a neighbor's roof. He was so exquisitely handsome!
The epitome of the male form, and soon he would be hers, heart
and soul--and body... But enough daydreaming. Her time was at
hand.
   Kodachi flipped easily through the air and landed in front of
Ranma. "Ranma darling!" she enthused.
   Ranma, Kodachi noted, responded with his usual coyness. His
eyes bugged out, and he said "Gyahh!" while trying to leap
backwards, succeeding only in flipping his wheelchair onto its
back. It was just too precious!
   Kodachi flicked out with another ribbon, and pulled Ranma and
chair back up, strapping Ranma firmly to the chair in the
process. Kodachi knew that Ranma liked her to be assertive. She
crawled seductively into his lap and whispered into his ear,
"Finally, we can spend some quality time together..."
   Ranma was sweating and twitching feebly in his confinement.
"K-k-kodachi," he finally managed to babble. Oh, how sweet his
voice, even overcome as he was with joy at finally being united
with his one true love! "G-get off! We c-can't, er shouldn't-"
   Kodachi frowned, and then smiled. Of course! He still lives in
fear of Akane! Now is the time to show him. "Don't worry, dear,
I've taken care of that nasty Akane! You don't have to worry
about her any more."
   "WHAT?" Ranma suddenly regained his composure. "What have you
done with Akane?"
   Kodachi laughed, "Oh, nothing yet. But I'm sure we can come up
with a thousand ideas once we marry."
   "You're going to marry Akane?" Ranma asked, confused.
   How delightful his naivete was! "Of course not, silly! I'm
going to marry you!"
   "No you aren't!" answered a panicking and still thoroughly
bound Ranma.
   'Hmm,' thought Kodachi. 'Still he relents.' Akane must have
quite a hold on him. Time to reveal her newfound prowess. She
once more produced the syringe. "Do you know what this is, Ranma
dearest?" Ranma gazed at the greenish-brown liquid suspiciously,
and shook his head. "This is the essence of Akane's cooking, in
its purest form! All of Akane's secrets are mine! Mine!"
   "Gyahh!" yelped Ranma again, and managed to flip his chair
again in his efforts to put as much distance as possible between
himself and the syringe. Kodachi fell off of him and rolled to
her feet, being careful to avoid breaking the syringe or
injecting anyone with it.
   Kodachi once more pulled Ranma upright, and frowned at him
thoughtfully. Still uncooperative. Time to get tough. But who...
   "IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO SPEND A DAY IN NERIMA WITHOUT SOMEONE
THROWING WATER AT YOU?"
   Kodachi turned at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, and saw
an unfamiliar blue-haired girl in a white robe ranting at Ryoga
and that funny frog person. 'Perfect,' thought Kodachi with a
smile. A flick of the wrist, and Kodachi's ribbon unwound itself
from Ranma. A subtle twist, and the ribbon arced through the air
and coiled tightly around the surprised blue-haired girl. A quick
tug, and Kodachi yanked her close. She held the needle to her
impromptu victim's throat.
   "Now, listen carefully, Ranma dear," Kodachi smiled. "You have
until the count of ten to tell me that you'll marry me, or you'll
get to see what it's like to have Akane's cooking coursing
through one's veins. One."
   Ranma leapt to his feet, yelped with the sudden pain doing so
produced, and fell back into his chair.
   "Two."
   "Break free, Robo!" called Ryoga, "You're more than strong
enough!"
   Kodachi grinned to herself. 'Robo's her name, huh? Well, she's
not going anywhere.' "Three." 'She isn't even struggling, the
loser.'
   Robo's eyes were wide, and all of the color had drained from
her face. She was hyperventilating, and her heart was beating
wildly. All in all, she was clearly scared spitless.
   "Four." Without even looking, Kodachi tossed a couple of
gymnastics pins over her shoulder, striking the approaching forms
of Ryoga and Frog in their foreheads, dropping them cold.
   "Look, can't we talk about this?" sweated Ranma. "I mean...
marriage! It's just so sudden."
   "Five. Oh, don't worry, Ranma. We'll have plenty of time to
plan for the wedding, after you've given me your word of honor
that you'll marry me. Six."
   'Word of honor?' thought Ranma with a gulp. Akane, Ukyou, and
Shampoo would kill him if he promised to marry Kodachi. But Robo
was dead if he didn't. Then he had an idea.
   "How about I let you be my fiancee," he asked desperately.
   "Seven. Don't insult me. I know you already have three other
fiancees. I want you as a husband, not as a fiancee. Eight."
   Ranma stared at her, hopelessly. He tried to envision a future
with Kodachi as his wife, and shuddered. He tried to think of
some way to delay Kodachi, but his mind drew only blanks.
   "Nine. Best make up your mind, Ranma dearest." Kodachi pressed
the needle against Robo's throat, drawing a single, bright drop
of blood. Robo gasped slightly, and began to sob.
   Ranma seemed to collapse. He gazed up at Kodachi with despair,
and said, "All right, Kodachi. You win." Kodachi gazed at him
with a look of feral joy. "I, Ranma Saotome," Kodachi leaned
towards him anxiously, but without losing her grip on Robo,
"solomnly swear," 'Forgive me, Akane!' thought Ranma, "on my
honor, and the honor of my family," 'Yes! Yes!' thought Kodachi,
'Go on!' "that I will marry Ko-"
   "STOP!" a commanding voice suddenly called. Kodachi whirled in
irritation, and abruptly found herself soaking wet with
uncomfortably warm water.
   She sputtered and spit. "What? Who? Someone dies! Urk!"
Kodachi was abruptly cut off, as she felt something metal clamp
tightly around her neck. She was lifted off of her feet. Kodachi
felt herself being turned, and soon she was face to face with a
rather wet robot. It was wearing Robo's robes, and had several
pieces of torn gymnastics ribbon festooned about it. It had a
tiny scratch on its surface where the head met the torso, right
about where Kodachi's needle would have been. Though its face was
incapable of expression, the robot still gave the impression of
being very, very angry.
   Without a word, Robo took the syringe Kodachi was still
holding loosely in hand. He threw it to the ground, and crushed
it beneath a heavy, metal foot. All of the grass around it
instantly died. Kodachi looked at the machine innocently. The
robot's glowing eyes returned her gaze impassively. Then, Robo
threw Kodachi up into the air, and spoke the words, "Uzi Punch!"
He reared back and punched into the air at Kodachi. His fist
disconnected from his arm on a chain and slammed into Kodachi
with blinding speed. It retracted and flew out again, and again.
After several dozen lightning-fast punches, Kodachi's still form
flew out of sight, trailing a comet's tail of wilted black rose
petals.
   "Wow, that looked painful," noted Ranma, eyeing Kodachi's
receding form.
   "She was needling me," answered Robo. "But where did that
water come from?" He and Ranma turned, and saw the small wrinkled
form of Cologne perched on her staff atop the Tendo wall. She was
holding a water bucket.
   "I couldn't very well stand around while my future son-in-law
proposes to some other woman, now could I?" asked Cologne. She
leapt to the ground and whapped Ranma on the head with her staff.
"You are for Shampoo! Never forget that, boy!"
   "Ow!" protested Ranma, rubbing his head.
   "But how did you know-" began Robo. But Cologne had already
vaulted out of sight.
   Ranma sighed. Cologne had her ways, and it was little use
trying to decipher them. Suddenly, he remembered that he had been
waiting for Robo to return. "Oh, Robo! As long as you're here,
would you mind fixing up my leg?"
   "Very well, but then there is something I must do." Robo began
to charge up his Cure Beam when he suddenly realized that Frog
and Ryoga could use some attention as well. "Heal Beam." he said,
and spun around. A wave of light spread out from his metal form,
and the air sparkled around all present. Ranma's leg ceased
throbbing, Robo's scratch disappeared, and Frog and Ryoga began
to wake up.
   With a few well-placed blows, Ranma shattered his cast. He
stood and did a few experimental leaps. Satisfied that his leg
was in working order, He turned to thank Robo. To his surprise,
he saw Robo leap into the Tendo pond, and surface as a girl.
Without a word, Robo walked across the yard and stood before
Frog.
   "Frog, I apologize," she said. "You were right. I should have
been spending more time in this form."
   Frog nodded solemnly. "Thou hast made a wise choice. Didst
thine encounter with that madwoman affect thee so deeply?"
   Robo shuddered. "When she was holding that needle to my
throat, I was so scared that I could not move. All I could think
of was how vulnerable my human body was. I did not like that
sensation." She turned to Ryoga, "Ryoga, would you help me to
train this body? I do not ever want to feel so helpless again."
   "What're ya askin' that wimp for?" snorted Ranma. "If anyone
should help you its-augh!" Ryoga grabbed the boastful martial
artist and chucked him into the Tendo pond before he had a chance
to finish.
   Ranma surfaced and launched herself at Ryoga, shouting, "I was
talking, you moron!" Soon the two were in pitched battle.
Sighing, Frog led Robo into the dojo to wait.
* * * * * *
   A half-mile away, a battered Kodachi made a rough landing in
an open dumpster. The battered Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnast
groaned painfully, and brushed a banana peel out of her face.
Getting her bearings, she discovered that she had landed only a
few blocks away from her rented apartment. 'They will all pay,'
she thought angrily. 'Once I retrieve my notes, I will be able to
make as much poison as I choose. Nothing will stand between me
and my darling Ranma!'
   She pulled herself out of the dumpster, and dropped to the
ground. She stumbled a moment, and grabbed onto the dumpster for
balance. Her equilibrium restored, Kodachi staggered to her
apartment. Kodachi opened her door, and walked into the room,
utterly failing to notice that Akane was no longer on the floor.
In the next room, she found that the floor was covered with tiny
scraps of white paper. "No! My notes! But who?--Uh oh." Kodachi
whirled around, just in time to see a large, painful, and rapidly
descending wooden hammer.
   When Kodachi came to, she found that she had been tied down to
a chair in front of a dining table. "Hello, Kodachi," said a
cheerful voice. "Did you sleep well?"
   "Akane!" hissed Kodachi. "When I get free I'll-"
   "Oh, I never did get to thank you properly for your lessons. I
felt that the best way would be to treat you to a meal, just to
show how well you've taught me!" Akane produced a platter of
steaming food, and set it down in front of Kodachi.
   Kodachi eyed the food with horror, the color rapidly draining
from her face. "No..." she whispered hoarsely.
   "I hope you're hungry," continued Akane. "I've prepared a
seven course meal..."
   Kodachi began to scream. The screaming didn't stop for a very
long time.

Chapter 10: Time Enough

   "So, who's Schala?" asked Nabiki as Marle and Lucca emerged
from the showers.
   "Where'd you hear about her?" asked Marle.
   "Magus...mentioned her," Nabiki hedged.
   "Schala is, or was, Magus's step-sister," Marle explained.
"She was a truly remarkable young woman who lived in 12,000 B.C.
on our world. Schala was an extremely powerful magic user, much
like Magus, but in nearly all other respects they were like night
and day. When we first met them together, Magus, whom we knew
then as Janus, was about eight years old, and his sister was
sixteen. Janus was a taciturn, apathetic, antisocial little boy
whose only friend was his cat. Schala, on the other hand, was
energetic, thoughtful, and caring. The two of them loved each
other deeply. I think she was the only person ever to truly care
for Janus."
   "Well, Magus sure seems to have a fixation on her at any
rate," commented Nabiki. "So what happened to her?"
   Marle's face saddened. "Not long after their father died,
their mother, Queen Zeal, decided to try to power the kingdom
using the immense magical energy radiated by Lavos. She was
corrupted by Lavos's influence, and changed her plans. She
decided to try to use the power of Lavos to obtain immortality,
and she was going to use Schala's magic to harness that power.
Schala knew that her mother was under Lavos's control and she
resisted. But in the end, she loved her mother too much to
disobey her."
   "Now the story gets tricky," said Lucca. "According to Magus,
on the day that the Queen's plans were to be fulfilled, he walked
in on his mother and sister just in time to witness the summoning
of Lavos. His mother, his sister, and Queen Zeal's three
advisors, Melchior, the Guru of Life, Balthasar, the Guru of
Reason, and Gaspar, the Guru of Time were also there. Once it
arrived, Lavos created several time Gates, and sent Janus and the
three Gurus to random points in the future. Lost and alone in the
middle ages of our world, Janus swore revenge against Lavos for
taking him from his sister. He amassed a huge army of monsters
and waged war on the people of 600 A.D. He told the monsters that
he was helping them to achieve a new age of monster rule, but in
reality he was just using them to gather the necessary materials
to summon Lavos himself. He intended to destroy Lavos
personally."
   "But we interfered," continued Marle. "Lavos was summoned
before Magus was ready, and Lavos transported us all through time
again. It sent us to the distant past, and Magus, ironically, it
transported to a few months before Queen Zeal's plans came to
fruition. He set himself up there as a prophet, and a rather
accurate one, as he had seen it all before. He intended to be
there when Queen Zeal tried to summon Lavos. When the three Gurus
tried to stop him, he had Queen Zeal banish them all."
   Nabiki was confused. "But I thought that they were there when
Queen Zeal tried her experiment!"
   "Yeah, but that was before all of this time-travel junk
started," Lucca responded. Then she grinned, "Temporal paradoxes.
Gotta love 'em!"
   Marle pressed on. "This time when the Queen summoned Lavos,
Crono, Lucca and I were there. We tried to fight the thing, but
it was too powerful. We were nearly destroyed. Once we were out
of commission, Magus revealed himself and challenged Lavos. But
his considerable power was no match for Lavos at that time, and
he was quickly defeated. Things looked pretty bleak, and Crono
tried to buy us some time by attacking Lavos himself, even though
he was nearly dead." Marle choked slightly on the next words,
"Lavos vaporized him-"
   "WHAT?" asked Nabiki.
   "He got better," answered Lucca helpfully.
   Marle glared at Lucca. "That's a bit of an oversimplification,
I think, Lucca." Lucca merely shrugged. "Anyway, when Schala saw
Crono get disintegrated trying to rescue us, she finally came to
her senses. Though she was weakened by the effort she had put
into helping her mother, she teleported us all to safety. We
never saw her again."
   Lucca decided to finish. "After losing Schala a second time,
Magus decided to join our group to help us destroy Lavos. Once
that was accomplished, he returned to his own time to search for
Schala. He's convinced that she somehow survived, even though the
planet was nearly decimated when Queen Zeal summoned Lavos. That
was the last we saw of him until now."
   Nabiki looked thoughtful. "It's hard to imagine a man like
Magus actually caring for anyone."
   Marle nodded, and said, "People are rarely as simple as they
seem. There's a lot more to Magus than first meets the eye."
Then, as an afterthought, she added, "He's still a creep,
though."
   "I still wouldn't mind knowing just what that creep was up
to," said Nabiki. "I'd hate to think that he's abandoned us."
   "I don't think so," smiled Lucca. "He needs me to fix the
Epoch. If I had to guess, I'd say that Magus is probably bringing
the Epoch here."
   Nabiki stared at her. "Are you kidding? How? That thing must
weigh a couple tons, and Magus had a hard time carrying the three
of us here!"
   "If Magus wants the Epoch here, he'll get it here," shrugged
Lucca. "Magus is nothing if not resourceful. Now, why don't you
show us around this little headquarters of his."
   Nabiki gave the two a grand tour of Magus's bunker, at least
as far as she had explored it herself. When they came to the
surveillance room, Lucca stopped them and pointed out a
nondescript shelf. "Hey, there's more than just monitors here. I
think this is some kind of terminal for a computer!" Lucca
flipped up a panel on the shelf revealing a keyboard and
trackball. One monitor, previously dark, lit up with the word,
"PASSWORD:"
   Lucca frowned. "Hmm, looks like Magus has this system locked
up tight. Well, it's an unfamiliar system, but I should be able
to hack it-"
   "Wait!" interrupted Marle. "I think that we can guess the
password. We know Magus better than anyone, with the possible
exception of his sister. What sort of password would he use?"
   Lucca frowned, "I doubt it would be that simple. He probably
just memorized a random string of characters, and is using that
for a password. Still, it probably won't hurt to try a few
things. How about 'Schala'?"
   "I doubt it," said Nabiki. "If Magus is as obsessed with her
as he seems to be, other people are bound to know about it. A
password like that would be easy to guess."
   Marle thought a moment. "How about 'Alfador', then?"
   "Good thinking!" answered Lucca, typing in the word.
   "'Alfador'?" asked Nabiki.
   "His cat," answered Lucca, absently. The screen flashed, and a
welcome message appeared. "Well, how about that," said Lucca.
"Looks like Magus has a sentimental streak after all." Lucca's
hands became a blur as she typed, her brilliant mind working to
decipher the foreign command structure.
   "Don't want to open his personal files," Lucca muttered as she
worked. "Even Magus deserves his privacy, after all. Just want to
find some clues as to what happened here."
   "Like that visual record we found in Arris Dome?" queried
Marle. "The one that showed us the Day of Lavos?"
   Lucca didn't appear to be listening. "Aha!" she said,
suddenly. "Found something. It's a video file labeled 'Lavos'.
This could be just the thing. I'll punch it up."
   A few more keystrokes, and the screen lit up. It showed a
peaceful-looking area that was dotted with a number of shallow
pools. Many of these pools had bamboo poles sticking out of them.
   "Hey, that must be Jusenkyo!" exclaimed Nabiki. "It looks just
like the place Ranma and his dad described!"
   After a few moments, a plump fellow with slightly crossed eyes
wearing Chinese garb stuck his face into view. He seemed
confused, and poked at the camera a few times. Then, he grinned,
and began to make faces.
   Suddenly, the picture began to shake violently. The Chinese
man stopped making faces, and turned, confused. With him out of
the way, it could be seen that the landscape was buckling. The
normally tranquil Jusenkyo pools were sloshing around. Then, a
huge fissure appeared. At this point, the Chinese man began to
run for his life, and left the camera's view. For a few more
minutes, the camera recorded scenes of chaos, as more fissures
appeared. Lava flowed freely, and huge boulders erupted into the
air. Then, the screen filled with static, as the camera was
evidently destroyed.
   After a second or two, a new view appeared. This view was
evidently from space, as the curved horizon of the blue planet
was clearly visible. The planet looked serene and tranquil, save
for an angry red dot that had appeared on a continent in the
middle of the screen. The camera zoomed in, and the dot defined
itself as a huge, molten crater. Something huge and spiny was
pushing itself out of the crater. Once it was fully revealed, it
looked like some kind of gargantuan hedgehog, with a head so tiny
as to be invisible from this distance. From end to end, it
couldn't have been less than twenty miles long. Then, thousands
of bright streaks of light erupted from the creature's back,
flying high into the air. Some turned immediately and fell back
to the ground, while others arced around the planet to fall
elsewhere. Wherever one of these bright missiles landed, a huge
explosion occurred, blackening the surface and creating a crater.
   The screen panned through scenes of destruction across the
planet. In several places, some retaliation was made. Long,
silver needles, apparently nuclear weapons of some kind, were
launched at the creature. Most were destroyed by a second barrage
of bright streaks, but one actually managed to find its target.
Once the bright flash cleared, It could be seen that the thing
was unscathed. After a few more minutes of devastation, there was
no further retaliation. The planet was a dead, burnt-out husk.
   The file came to an end, and Nabiki, Marle, and Lucca simply
stared at the screen in horror for a few more minutes. After a
moment, Lucca shuddered, and said, "Yup, that's about like it
happened back home."
   "I'll NEVER get used to that," gulped Marle.
   "Nor should you," said Magus's voice from the doorway. "Lavos
represents an evil far greater than anything I, or anyone else
has contemplated. Now, if you don't mind, please log off of my
computer." Lucca blushed guiltily, and did as Magus asked.
"Excellent! Now, I am sure that Nabiki has explained my...needs?"
   Lucca nodded. "You keep us alive, and we get you out of this
hole."
   "Yes, I'd say that describes the situation. Come with me."
Magus walked out of the room, and up the hallway. The others had
little choice but to follow. Magus led them through a nondescript
doorway at the end of the hallway, revealing a mammoth garage of
some type. A large variety of vehicles were housed there,
including several cars, small airplanes, and even a few military
tanks. There was also a large, flatbed truck, and sitting on that
truck was the damaged Epoch. With the exception of the truck, all
of the vehicles were coated by a thick layer of dust.
   "If you had all of this, why didn't you just drive to meet us
yesterday?" asked Nabiki.
   "Because, you fool, these things don't run on Dark Fruit,"
sneered Magus condescendingly. "I don't have a great supply of
fuel."
   "Naturally, it had nothing to do with the fact that we would
have noticed you coming," noted Nabiki sweetly. "It would have
made swiping our time machine that much more difficult."
   Magus didn't bother to answer. He stalked over to the truck
and opened the door. He pulled out a large plastic bag, and
emptied it onto the floor. A number of gears, wires, and other
bits spread out on the ground. "These are all of the loose pieces
I could find," he said. "If you need anything else, I'll see what
I can find. Now, you'd best get to work."
   Lucca sighed, and approached the mess. Then she stopped. "My
tools!" she said, looking around. "Where are they?" With a start,
Nabiki realized that she was still wearing Lucca's satchel. She
handed over the tools with a sheepish grin. Lucca relaxed
visibly. She climbed up onto the truck and peered into the hull
of the Epoch. "Say, you did a lot of work while we were out,
commented Lucca."
   "Well, I wouldn't say I was idle," Nabiki responded modestly.
   "Still, I see another day or two of work here," she began
rummaging in her satchel. Lucca and Nabiki gradually became aware
that Magus was staring at them with open contempt.
   "What is it now?" asked Lucca, a little irritated.
   "The weak always strive to be weaker," sighed Magus, just loud
enough to be heard. Then, more audibly, "This whole time, you've
had the ability to halve your work time, and you haven't even
considered it."
   "Huh?"
   "Do I have to spell it out? Use Marle's magic!"
   At the sound of her name, Marle looked up from a dusty tank
she had been studying. Lucca struck her forehead with the palm of
her hand. "Of course! Marle, why don't you cast Haste on Nabiki
and I!" As Marle prepared her spell, Lucca turned to Nabiki and
said, "If you're gonna help me here, I'm gonna have to give you a
crash-course in temporal dynamics." She glanced at Marle. "A very
fast lesson."
   "Haste," Marle intoned, gesturing at Nabiki. Nabiki found
herself bathed in a soft red glow. She could almost make out a
faint image of a clock face, or stopwatch hovering in the air
around her. Then, the glow disappeared. She felt no different,
but suddenly, everything was moving slowly. Marle was slothfully
gesturing at a nearly immobile Lucca. Her mouth opened and she
said 'Haste' again, but this time, it was low and drawn out, like
a recording played at low speed. Nabiki watched as a red beam of
light surrounded Lucca. An image of a clock fell from the sky and
surrounded the inventor. When the light and image cleared, Lucca
seemed to be back up to speed.
   "Okay, Nabiki, lemme get out some tools, and we can get
started." Lucca peered into her bag. Then she frowned. "Hmm, I
don't remember putting this in here." Lucca pulled out an odd,
reddish-brown object. Nabiki gasped slightly when she recognized
it. It was the spearhead that Lucca had cut free of the spear
Nabiki had had such a close encounter with.
   'I must have swept it in with the tools by mistake,' thought
Nabiki. She took the spearhead from Lucca. "I'll take it, for
now," she said.
   Lucca shrugged. She began to instruct Nabiki. "Now, the first
thing that you have to know when fixing the Epoch is the
importance of dreamstone..."
* * * * * *
   Magus watched the two a few moments longer. He chuckled
silently at their high-pitched, rapid voices and blurred
movements. Then his face returned to its usual look of solemn
disdain. Imbeciles, he thought. It's amazing that they ever
managed to destroy Lavos. Of course, they did have my help then,
as now.
   Magus left the garage, and headed down the hallway. Time to do
what he always did when finding a moment of spare time. Magus
strode into his private room. He frowned slightly, detecting the
residual aura of Nabiki's presence. 'No matter,' he thought.
Really, 'I should have expected no less. But if she has harmed my
paintings, she will live to regret it.'
   A quick check revealed that the paintings had not been
touched. Satisfied, Magus sat down and reached for his brush. A
second of thought prompted him to stand again, and lock the door.
It had been so long since he had had to worry about privacy. His
paintings were something he liked to enjoy alone, and the past
few years had provided plenty of solitude.
   Magus sat again, and took brush and palette in hand. He gazed
thoughtfully at the blank canvass before him. After a moment's
thought, he chose a shade of deep blue, and applied it to the
painting. As he had many times before, he reached into his mind,
and brought Schala forth. Beautiful Schala, his beloved sister.
She appeared before him, as real as his mind could make her. He
gazed upon the contours of her face, the set of her hair, the
sad, sad eyes, and gradually transformed vision into reality.
   He was done. Magus lowered the palette and brush. His
paintings always seemed to take no time at all, but Magus knew
that many hours had passed. Magus tenderly viewed the picture of
Schala before him. He never knew quite how Schala would look
until he finished his work. In this picture, Schala was looking
at him with unrestrained joy and open arms, tears filling her
eyes. Magus recognized this scene. It was how he had always
imagined Schala would look when he was reunited with her.
   Magus gently traced Schala's cheek with his finger, careful
not to touch the drying paint. Tears welled up unbidden in the
sorcerer's eyes.
   Then, in the moment of weakness he always allowed himself at
these times, Janus quietly began to cry.
* * * * * *
   Meanwhile, Marle was bored. Over the past several hours, she
had examined nearly every vehicle in the garage worth viewing,
and now she had nothing to do. She couldn't leave the garage; she
had already had to reapply her Haste spell several times, and
would doubtless need to do it again before the two frantic
mechanics would be finished. Marle idly chomped on a Dark Fruit
and stared at the Epoch.
   There was a reason Marle was considered a tomboy. She became
bored very easily. She wanted action, or at least a good deal
less inaction. She thought back on the many ways she had avoided
inaction in the past. Skipping out on her etiquette lessons to
practice her archery, playing pranks on all of the stuffy guests
her father invited to state dinners, sneaking out of the castle
when her father forbade her to visit the Millennial Fair. That
was how she had met Crono. Marle's heart lurched as she thought
of him. 'Poor Crono, sitting alone at the End of Time. If I'm
bored, I can imagine how awful it must be for him. He's spent a
whole week with nothing to do but stare at the colors and wonder
what's taking us so long.'
   "Marle!" called two voices in unison. Marle sighed, and
reHastened Lucca and Nabiki. Marle watched the two return to
their speedy repairs, and then sat down again to try to think of
some way to pass the time.
   Might as well practice my aim, she thought. Marle set her Dark
Fruit core on a heavy tank and unslung her trusty Valkyrie. She
walked a good distance away, whirled, took aim, and fired. The
quarrel sliced into the core and through it, burying itself
deeply into the armor of the tank. 'A bit off center,' noted
Marle. She adjusted the sights on her crossbow and fired again.
This time the bolt struck the fruit dead center, and as before,
it pierced it and the armor behind it. Satisfied that the weapon
was adjusted properly, Marle began to fire at her target from
various positions and angles throughout the garage.
   After a few hours of this, Marle heard a dry, mocking voice
say, "Is it really necessary for you to demolish my tanks while
you wait?"
   Marle wiped the sweat off of her forehead. "Huh?" she asked,
turning. Magus was pointing at her target. She took another good
look, and found that the vehicle she had chosen to support her
core now looked more like Swiss cheese than an armoured vehicle.
The perforated metal sagged in places, and as she watched, the
turret of the tank collapsed into the chassis. "Er, sorry," she
said sheepishly. "I guess I wasn't thinking."
   "Hardly surprising," noted Magus drolly. Marle scowled, but
before she could respond, Magus asked, "How are the repairs
coming?"
   Marle shrugged. "Beats me. The Epoch doesn't look any better
than when they started. But the damage they've been working on
has all been internal."
   Magus said nothing, merely fixing a steady gaze on the working
pair. Marle sighed. Magus never was much of a conversationalist.
Deprived of her latest distraction, Marle settled down to wait in
boredom.
   Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long. The two mechanics
gradually slowed down to regular speed, and staggered towards
them. They looked very drained.
   With typical lack of concern, Magus demanded, "So, is it
finished?"
   "Almost," said Lucca wearily. "But we're too tired to work any
more today."
   "Bah! I haven't the patience for this," snarled Magus.
   "Well, you'd better learn it then!" Nabiki shot back.
"Whatever you've been doing, we feel like we've been working for
over a day now, without a break."
   "Fine!" Magus replied in disgust. "Take your 'break'. You can
use the spare bedrooms. But I'll expect you to finish tomorrow."
   "Yeah, yeah," answered Lucca.
   The next morning, true to their word, Lucca and Nabiki
finished their work on the Epoch. The group of four had gathered
in the garage, and this time, Magus had apparently decided to
wear his traditional medieval garb. Now, however, the group faced
a much more difficult decision than wardrobe.
   "Now, Magus, as you know, the Epoch can't carry more than
three at a time," Lucca spoke to Magus. "So, someone's gonna have
to stay here for a little while until we can return for them."
   "Of course, of course," said Magus, bored.
   "I'm not finished! We have two priorities. We need to get
Nabiki home, and we need to pick up Crono at the end of time."
   "Do what you feel you have to," answered Magus. "But I'm going
to be on that time machine when it leaves."
   "I guess that doesn't leave us many options," said Marle
sourly. "I'll have to stay here for now. Lucca has to stay with
the machine just in case it breaks down again, Nabiki has to be
there so she can be taken home, and Magus has to be there because
the Oh-So Mighty Magus won't have it any other way."
   Magus stared at her coldly. "I'm not sure I care for your
tone. But yes, that about sums things up."
   "Right," said Marle. "So, how do you operate the garage door?"
   "The manual controls are over there," Magus pointed. "You can
use them to close things up after we leave. But for now..." Magus
gestured toward the door, and wove a pattern into the air with
his hands. The huge garage door ponderously rose into the
ceiling, revealing the dead world outside in all of its black and
brown splendor.
   "See you later!" said Lucca in farewell, as the three of them
piled into the Epoch.
   "Don't go and get horribly killed by any bloodthirsty mutant
monsters or anything like that," grinned Nabiki. Marle grinned
back.
   The Epoch lifted into the air, and flew out of the garage.
Nabiki looked back to see the garage door closing again, melding
seamlessly into the rock face. She hoped Lucca would be able to
find it again when she returned for Marle.
   Lucca, directed by Magus, flew the Epoch back to where he had
found them. Presumably, that would place them in Nerima when they
traveled back to 1995. True enough, a flash of light later the
trio was hovering above the town, only a few blocks from the
Tendo Dojo. Soon, Nabiki could make out the familiar buildings of
her home. A few seconds later, they touched down.
   No sooner had the cockpit opened, then Nabiki dropped to the
ground. Her father and sisters, Ranma and his father, and Frog
had come outside to meet them, as had Ryoga, and an unfamiliar
blue-haired girl. As soon as he saw her, Soun Tendo swept her
into an embrace, and bawled. "I thought we had lost you, Nabiki!"
he sobbed.
   Nabiki, for once without a sarcastic remark, returned her
father's embrace, and said, "I missed you, too, daddy."
   Soon, everyone had gathered around to subject Nabiki to a
blistering barrage of questions. Nabiki answered as many of them
as she could (oddly, she didn't even think of charging for the
answers), before the group was silenced by a new voice.
   "Pathetic," said Magus. He was standing atop the Epoch, his
cape billowing in the wind. Magus hovered down to the ground, and
stood gazing at the motley assemblage with unrestrained contempt.
"I'd hardly have thought one such as Nabiki could possibly have
attained so many comrades," he addressed them. "Obviously, your
taste in companions is rather poor."
   This opening statement did little to endear Magus to the
gathered group. Nabiki chuckled slightly and said, "Everybody,
this charming fellow is Magus. Don't trust him any more than you
trust me."
   "We trust you?" Ryoga asked Nabiki, confused. Disgusted, Ranma
pounded on Ryoga's head, earning a reproachful look.
   "Greetings, Magus," said Frog coldly.
   "Ah, if it isn't our dear little Glenn!" smirked Magus. "Has
it been easy? Being green, I mean?"
   Frog smiled slightly. "Ever th' barbed tongue, Janus. I see
that time hath not changed thee."
   Magus scowled at the use of his real name and was about to
respond, when Lucca's voice called down from the Epoch. "I can
see that Magus is gonna get along just fine here. See ya!"
   Startled, Magus turned. "Wait! You can't leave me here!"
   "Watch me!" grinned Lucca. "Don't worry, I'll be back."
   Before Magus could react, the cockpit closed, and the Epoch
rose into the air. Soon, it was out of sight, and Magus found
himself alone with half a dozen people who had no real reason to
like him.
   "Hmph," he said, eyeing them. "What now?"
   "Just who do you think you are?" demanded Ranma.
   "No one to trifle with, boy," Magus answered.
   "You were right about this Magus character," Ryoga muttered to
Frog. "He's a real charmer."
   Suddenly, Magus stiffened. "Jusenkyo!" he said, and looked at
the assemblage. "Several of you are cursed, aren't you? No need
to lie, the magic aura of Jusenkyo is clear as day to me."
   Smiling prettily, Robo walked forward. "What, do you mean to
say that you do not recognize me, Magus?" she asked.
   Magus was caught off guard, and obviously didn't care for it
one bit. He narrowed his eyes and stared at Robo. "Hmmm, the
Drowned Girl spring by the look of it. So you can't be Ayla, and
the other two girls are gone anyway. Frog's right here and
Crono's lost...no, it can't be!" Magus began to chuckle, and then
to laugh outright. "Robo?" he gasped out as he laughed. "Of all
the-"
   Wham! Robo's fist connected, and Magus dropped to the ground,
out like a light. "Ooh, how I have wanted to do that," said Robo,
smiling and rubbing her hand.
   Frog looked surprised. "Thou hast shown no sign of enmity
before!"
   "In the four hundred years I was working with Fiona to help
her restore her forest, I had time to observe firsthand the
consequences of Magus's little war," Robo explained. "The
arrogant little creep had no idea what kind of suffering he
caused. I would have let him have it sooner, but Lavos took
precedence. And it hardly seemed appropriate to attack him after
we won. But now..." Robo cracked her knuckles thoughtfully.
   Concerned, and apparently oblivious to the violence, Kasumi
said, "Oh my, he's unconscious. We'd better get him inside." She
glanced at Robo. "Pity you're a girl right now, or you could heal
him."
   "Pity," agreed Robo, wryly.
   "So what happened to you?" Soun asked Nabiki anxiously.
   "It's a long story," said Nabiki. They were all interested,
Nabiki could tell. Should she charge admission? Naah, plenty of
time for profit later. For now, she was just glad to be home.

Chapter 11: Time Zones

   "So, anything eventful happen while we were gone?" Lucca asked
Marle as she climbed into the waiting time machine.
   "Nope," Marle answered. She seemed almost disappointed.
   Lucca laughed. "Let's go get Crono!"
   Marle brightened notably, and she nodded. The Epoch flew out
of the garage and soared into the sky. A flash of light later,
the familiar formlessness of the End of Time surrounded them.
Wasting no time, Marle popped the cockpit and jumped out.
   It took only a moment to locate Crono. He looked horrible.
Physically, he was fine, but the look on his face was not one
that Marle would ever care to see again. His face was drawn and
pale, and he had a hopeless, haunted look in his eyes. When he
spied Marle, his face twitched, and twisted into a look of
desperate hope.
   "Crono?" asked Marle, feeling a surge of pity for the creature
before her.
   Without a word, Crono reached out, and touched Marle, as if to
verify that she was really there. Convinced of her reality he
clutched her and began to sob with relief. Marle held him in
return, and tried to reassure him as best she could. After a
while, she led Crono back to the Epoch, where he settled
gratefully into his seat.
   Lucca turned around and grinned at him. "Glad to have you
back! Didja miss us?"
   Crono stared at her in disbelief for asking such a stupid
question. Miss them? Of course he missed them! He thought they
were dead! Then he realized that Lucca was just teasing. He
explained to her, very carefully, that yes, he had missed them.
   Then Lucca became more serious. "Oh, Crono! I'm so sorry that
we put you through this! We have so much to tell you!"
   Crono relaxed and listened as Marle and Lucca described their
adventures in post-holocaust Nerima, their meeting with Magus,
and their discovery of Lavos on this world. Crono suddenly looked
very tired. He suggested that they go back to the Tendo's and
rest before taking on another Lavos. The two girls agreed, and
the three of them were soon bound for 1995.
* * * * * *
   Back at the Tendo residence, Ukyou approached the front door.
She could hear a commotion coming from the dojo. Evidently Robo
was involved in another training session with Ranma, Ryoga, and
Frog. 'No doubt Ranma and Ryoga are spending at least as much
energy fighting each other as they are training Robo,' she
thought with a smile. She decided to wait for them inside.
   Ukyou knocked on the door. After a moment, it was answered by
Kasumi. "Hello, Ukyou. Ranma's in the dojo with Robo, Ryoga, and
Frog right now."
   Ukyou nodded. "I know. Mind if I wait in here?"
   "You're always welcome here." Then as an afterthought, "Don't
sit on the couch."
   "Er, okay," answered Ukyou, confused. As Kasumi returned to
her kitchen, Ukyou approached the living room wondering why the
couch would be off limits. The answer presented itself in the
form of an unconscious man.
   'So who's this?' Ukyou wondered, gazing at Magus's still form.
The man looked more than a little foreboding, even unconscious.
His medieval clothing and pale skin made him look distinctly
Gothic, like some kind of vampire. He was certainly not a
familiar face.
   As Ukyou stood looking down at the man, his eyes twitched, and
opened, causing Ukyou to step back in alarm. The eyes focused on
her, and Ukyou saw the man inhale sharply. "Schala!" he rasped in
a harsh whisper.
   "Huh?" asked Ukyou, confused.
   The man sat up and looked at Ukyou imploringly. "Schala! Don't
you recognize me? It's me, Janus!"
   "I have no idea what you're talking about!" answered Ukyou,
more than a little unnerved by this man's (Janus's?) proposed
familiarity with her.
   Neither of the two seemed to notice Nabiki crouched silently
by the staircase. She nodded mentally as she realized why Magus's
pictures of Schala looked so familiar. She continued to observe
the pair, interested by this exchange.
   "You haven't changed, Schala," said Janus, apparently lost in
some sort of hazy delusion. "Your voice, your face, just as I
remember..." He stood up, and took a step toward Ukyou.
   Ukyou had had enough. She assumed a defensive fighting stance
and took her large spatula into hand. "Look, I'm not Schala, and
I don't know you. Don't come any closer!"
   Janus froze. Apparently, whatever dream state he had been in
vanished. "Not Schala..." he repeated. "You're right. You're not
Schala." The man began to babble, "The hair's all wrong, it's
black and too short, and your aura's wrong, and you don't know
who I am."
   Janus almost seemed to crumple. He sat down on the couch and
began to sob. Whatever formidability the man had possessed
disappeared like a puff of smoke. Ukyou suddenly felt very
foolish wielding her spatula against this dismal, broken man. She
quickly returned the oversized cooking implement to its resting
place on her back.
   Tentatively, Ukyou asked, "Are you all right?"
   Janus ceased his convulsive sobbing for a moment and raised a
tear-stained face to gaze at Ukyou. "Fate has played a horrible
joke on me today. Am I truly so evil, that I deserve a torment
such as this?" He hesitantly reached out a hand, and this time
Ukyou didn't flinch. He gently traced Ukyou's face. "You are so
like her," he said wistfully. Tears again welled up in his eyes.
   Unsure what else to do, Ukyou sat down next to the strange,
overwrought man, and put her arm around him in an attempt to
console him. Janus leaned against her and cried softly for a
while. Finally, the man calmed down. He disengaged himself from
Ukyou's somewhat embarrassed grasp, and composed himself.
   Janus turned a tender gaze on Ukyou and said, "Thank you.
There is no way I can truly describe, or ever repay, the service
you have done for me today. Please, what is your name?"
   "Ukyou," Ukyou answered. "Ukyou Kounji."
   "Ukyou," repeated Janus.
   Cautiously, Ukyou asked, "If you don't mind my asking, who is
Schala?"
   "My sister," he answered. "It has been so long..." He gazed
off into space for a few moments, and then continued. "She was
taken from me when I was a mere boy. For years, I lived only to
avenge myself on the foul creature who had taken her from me. But
when I succeeded in my revenge, she was still gone." He glanced
sharply at Ukyou. "Can you possibly understand? She was still
gone! Without her, and without my revenge, my life was empty!
Meaningless! My only hope was to search for her. When I opened my
eyes, and saw you...for the briefest, sweetest of moments, I was
whole again. Then, when I saw you were not whom I had thought..."
   Ukyou looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm so sorry!" she said,
becoming conscious of the emotional wringer she had put this man
through.
   "Please! Don't apologize!" Janus said vehemently. "I thought
my world was crumbling around me again. But when you held me, I
remembered how Schala had comforted me as a child. And for the
first time in a long time, I felt hope. Hope!" Janus grabbed
Ukyou's shoulders for emphasis. "You have no idea the value of
hope, especially for one such as I!"
   "Er, you're welcome," answered Ukyou, a little overwhelmed.
   'So, Magus has a soft spot for Ukyou,' thought Nabiki. 'A
secret well worth knowing.'
   At that moment, Kasumi walked in. "Ah, Ukyou! I see you've met
our guest."
   To Ukyou, the change in Janus was astounding. His tenderness
and feeling seemed to slip away, and he assumed a mantle of cold
haughteur. He released Ukyou's shoulders and stood up, turning to
gaze contemptuously at the elder Tendo sister. "Indeed," he said
dryly, as if to scold Kasumi for stating the obvious.
   If Kasumi could detect the implied contempt, she was
unaffected by it. "I hope you're feeling better, Magus. The
others are out in the dojo."
   "Magus?" asked Ukyou, startled by the emotional shift.
   Magus turned to look at her, and for a moment, the cold
arrogance vanished once more. It was replaced by the tenderness
Ukyou had witnessed earlier, perhaps now with an additional tinge
of desperation. "Please," he said, "call me Janus."
   "Janus," Ukyou nodded.
   At that moment, the front door opened, admitting Robo, Frog,
Ranma, and Ryoga. All four looked exhausted, and, aside from
Frog, sweaty. Nevertheless, Ryoga and Ranma were pointedly
ignoring each other.
   "Finished training for now?" Kasumi asked cheerfully. "I'll
make some lemonade." She headed back to the kitchen.
   Robo noticed Magus and smiled. "Hello, Magus!" she said.
"Sleep well?" Magus ignored her. Then, Robo's eyes fell on Ukyou,
and she froze. Robo looked at Ukyou, then at Magus, and then at
Ukyou again.
   "What is it?" asked Ukyou.
   "Wait right there," said Robo, and ran off to the kitchen.
   Ranma, Frog, Ryoga, and Ukyou threw each other confused looks,
unsure what to make of Robo's odd behavior. Magus just looked
bored, apparently unconcerned with Robo's aberrant behavior. Soon
they heard sounds of water running, followed by heavy clunking.
The clunking was revealed to be the heavy footsteps of Robo
running out of the kitchen in robot form. He screeched to a halt
and stared intently at Ukyou again. A beam of light slowly
scanned Ukyou from head to toe, while mechanical sounds of
buzzing and clicking emanated from Robo's body.
   "What is it?!?" asked Ukyou, impatiently.
   "Analysis complete," said Robo. "Just as I thought!"
   "What dost thou mean?" asked Frog.
   "Frog, look at Ukyou and imagine her with long blue hair
instead of short black hair."
   Frog studied Ukyou, who was beginning to understand what all
this was about. Magus looked supremely disgusted. Frog's eyes
widened. "'Tis Schala!" he exclaimed.
   "'Tis not," said Magus pointedly.
   "Of course," said Frog, irritated by Magus's lack of patience.
"But she is the very image of thy sister. Dost that not incur
some vestige of compassion in thy soul?"
   "Of course not!" Magus lied. "What kind of sentimental fool do
you take me for? Ukyou is nothing to me."
   "I see," said Frog, thoughtfully. Oddly, Frog's anger seemed
to be gone. In its place was a sort of slight amusement.
   Ranma was less amused. "Hey, you can't talk about Ucchan that
way!"
   "Oh, can't I?" said Magus, lifting an eyebrow.
   "Ranma-" began Ukyou.
   Ranma wasn't listening. He advanced on Magus angrily, "Yeah!"
   In a flash, Magus swept back his cape, and whirled an long,
slender object forward. Ranma stopped dead in his tracks, as he
realized that Magus was now holding the edge of a long scythe
against his throat. "Eventually, we all face the reaper," Magus
intoned. "Are you truly so eager to take your turn?"
   "Janus-" started Ukyou. Frog glanced sharply at Ukyou upon
hearing her address Magus by his true name.
   Magus wasn't listening. "I warned you, boy. I am no one to
trifle with."
   Ranma leapt backwards, out of scythe-range. He landed and
tensed himself, evidently preparing an attack. "I tire of this,"
said Magus in a bored tone. "Dark Bomb," he chanted, making a few
quick passes in the air at Ranma.
   Suddenly, Ranma felt extremely ill. He was at the center of
what seemed to be an explosion of darkness, a blackness so
intense that it hurt his eyes. He could almost feel the life
energy being drained from his body. He fell to his knees, and
then to the floor. Then, the blackness cleared, leaving him
alive, but weakened.
   "No!" said Ukyou, who rushed out to the pale, crumpled form of
Ranma. "Don't hurt him!" she yelled at Magus.
   Magus seemed startled. "You wish me to spare him?"
   "Yes! He's my fiancee."
   Magus nearly dropped his scythe. His arrogance vanished in a
flash, and he said, "I-I'm sorry."
   Robo's metal mouth dropped open, and Frog began to grin. Then
Frog jabbed the shocked robot and said, "Methinks Ranma couldst
use thy Cure Beam, friend Robo."
   As soon as soon as Ranma was back on his feet, Kasumi entered
the room with a batch of fresh lemonade. "I'm so glad you're all
getting along!" she smiled. Several jaws dropped, and eyes
rolled, but Magus was too distraught to respond to Kasumi's
blatant inaccuracy. Still, no one bothered to correct her.
   Kasumi began pouring and distributing lemonade. This prompted
Robo to head back to the kitchen to change form in time to get
his share. As she served the tired group, Kasumi conversationally
said, "You know, with the girls and Crono coming back, we're just
running out of room here. I'm not sure we can fit Magus
anywhere."
   "That's all right," said Ranma, throwing Magus a dirty look.
"I wouldn't want him here anyway."
   "Now Ranma, he's our guest," scolded Kasumi.
   "He can stay with me," said Ukyou.
   "WHAT?" said Ranma.
   "I don't think he'll try to hurt me," smiled Ukyou. Magus for
his part, looked momentarily horrified at the thought of hurting
Ukyou.
   "Oh, good," said Kasumi. "At least he'll have someplace to
stay."
   Magus regained his composure, and his haughteur, "Hmph. I hope
we don't intend to stay long. By the chronometer on the Epoch,
this is the year 1995 A.D., correct? Then this planet has five
years to live."
   Everyone froze. "Oh my," said Kasumi.
   Frog spoke, "What art thou saying?"
   "Just after the western New Year, to be exact," said Magus
adjusting his gloves. "In the year 2000 A.D., Lavos puts an end
to the hopes and dreams of countless millions of people. Those
are the lucky ones."
   "Lucky ones?" gulped Ryoga.
   Magus nodded. "When Lavos rose, he rose right underneath the
springs of Jusenkyo. The magic waters of Jusenkyo, amplified,
mingled, and warped by the power of Lavos, evaporated into the
air. Only a few days later, at points across the globe, the
Jusenkyo Rains began, and didn't stop for months. Anyone rained
on turned into a twisted, horrible monster. Where there were one
or more personality-changing springs involved, the victim tended
to lose their sanity as well as their humanity. Many lost their
sanity anyway, upon seeing what they had become. A few learned
the secret of the Jusenkyo curse, but with nearly every water and
power plant inoperable, hot water became hard to come by. In most
places, surviving mutants banded together and formed cults. These
cults tried to rationalize their new conditions by thinking of
themselves as blessed." Magus snorted. "Any fortunate enough to
have been sheltered from the Jusenkyo Rains were quickly hunted
down, killed, and usually eaten by the cults."
   "Eaten?" questioned Ukyou.
   "Lavos all but wiped the planet clean of plant life, and the
animals were as altered as the people were. Herbivores, changed
or not, quickly died off. And a planet populated by nothing but
carnivores is a planet destined for lifelessness. Cannibalism
became the norm, as the altered humans proved themselves the only
creatures capable of sustaining themselves for any length of
time."
   Nabiki felt ill. She thought back to her intended "fact-
finding" expedition with the Epoch. She had been all set to head
for 2000 A.D. It was frightening to think that she might have
ended up in the middle of Lavos's attack, or even worse, in the
middle of a Jusenkyo rainstorm. Maybe being stabbed to death
wasn't so bad after all. She fingered the spearhead in her pocket
thoughtfully. She had cleaned the spearhead and kept it, without
quite knowing why. Now, she had an idea.
   "So how do you know all this?" asked Ranma with a tinge of
skepticism.
   "Don't be a fool. I was there of course," said Magus. "I
arrived on this planet in the year 1998 A.D. It didn't take me
long to establish myself as a...shall we say...shrewd
businessman. Magus Industries quickly became a leader in the
production and distribution of scientific equipment, particularly
equipment used to detect seismic activity." Magus smirked.
"Competition in the field tended not to stay competitive for
long. Incidently, Nabiki," said Magus, raising his voice, but not
bothering to turn, "Magus Industries is where you want to
invest."
   Nabiki frowned, as everyone turned to stare at her. How long
had he known I was here? she wondered. Nothing to do about it
now, but grab some lemonade and pretend I just showed up. "Hey
guys!" she called cheerfully, walking forward. "Got any more
lemonade, Kasumi?"
   "Of course," Kasumi poured her a glass as Magus continued.
   "Magus Industries, of course, was merely a cover. I had
detected Lavos's presence nearly the moment I arrived. Its
immanent arrival meant that it was gathering power, and that made
it especially visible to the right eyes. But I needed to know how
immanent, and especially, where Lavos would appear. About a year
after I had arrived on this world, I found my answers at
Jusenkyo. There, I discovered three things. First, Lavos would
appear in about a year. Second, Lavos was somehow responsible for
the magic pools. Third, something was amplifying Lavos's power.
That last bothered me. It meant that someone on this world was
helping Lavos to grow, and more importantly, that Lavos would be
much too powerful to defeat." Frog and Robo looked very grim at
this. "So I turned my efforts toward survival. I used the
resources of my company to construct a bunker, and I collected a
number of people whom I judged might survive the coming
holocaust." Magus looked grim. "Without exception, they all
perished. Only a few lasted more than a year, and even they
eventually fell prey to the cults. The most resilient lasted
until mid-August, 2003. When she failed to return from an
expedition, I found myself alone. Alone I remained, until I
detected Lucca and Marle. That was in 2005."
   Ukyou looked sympathetic. Ranma looked angry. "That's it!" he
said. "This Lavos has got to go."
   "Haven't you been listening, boy?" snarled Magus. "There is
nothing you, or I, or anyone can do. Lavos has become too
powerful. The Lavos we faced on my world was nothing compared to
this, and we barely stopped that one."
   "Why not get rid of whatever's giving it all this extra
power?" asked Nabiki.
   "It's far too late for that now," answered Magus. "I tried. I
found that Lavos had been receiving its extra power for many
centuries. I had no way of pinpointing when it started. Even with
the Epoch, we'd never be able to find its origin."
   "Do you want us to just curl up and die?" Ryoga demanded.
   Magus shrugged. "Do as you like, but fighting is irrelevant,
and survival is impossible. I'd advise you to make the most of
the life you have left."
   As Magus uttered these gloomy words, the whine of the Epoch's
engines filled the air. The time machine landed, and the group
filed outside to meet them, rather heavy of heart.
   The cockpit of the Epoch flipped open, and Lucca jumped down.
Noting the glum looks on the faces of all around, she said, "Well
gee, don't I feel welcome. What's wrong?" After Crono and Marle
dropped to the ground, the three of them listened to Magus's tale
of woe.
   "And Magus believes that there's no point in trying to fight
it," finished Nabiki.
   Lucca looked skeptical. "Magus has a tendency for being
pessimistic, and he misjudged the last Lavos we fought..."
   Magus barked a short laugh and said, "If you recall, girl, I
underestimated the last Lavos. If I'm underestimating this Lavos,
then you'd be even more the fool for considering fighting it.
This planet is doomed. We've little alternative but to escape for
home before we join this world in death."
   "Two problems with that, Magus," answered Lucca. "First off,
we have no idea how to get home. After we picked up Crono, we
took a test flight back to 1000 A.D., to see if we'd end up back
at Truce. No go. We were still on this world, and the inhabitants
of the village we found seemed rather surprised to see the Epoch
floating over their heads."
   "Secondly," continued Marle severely, "it just isn't our style
to cut and run. This planet needs us. Right, Crono?" Crono nodded
grimly. Marle continued, "This Lavos must have some kind of
weakness, and we'll find it if we try."
   "Fools!" Magus snarled. "I'll have no part of this pointless
endeavor." He whirled, evidently intending to stalk off in
disgust. Then he caught Ukyou staring at him with a look of anger
and betrayal. He seemed to shrink slightly.
   "Very well," he amended. "I will aid you if I can. But I can
see nothing but death for us all if we persist in this hopeless
cause." Ukyou beamed, and led Magus off to her domicile to help
him settle in.
   Crono, Marle, and Lucca looked at one another in confusion.
"What was that all about?" asked Marle.
   Ryoga grinned. "Tall, dark, and Gothic's got a thing for
Ukyou," he said.
   "'Tis likely due to the uncanny resemblance she doth bear to
his sister," added Frog. The three of them reeled as they finally
realized what had made Ukyou look so familiar. Frog nodded and
said, "I, too, was surprised."
   This, of course, prompted Ranma and Ryoga to ask about Schala.
So, Team Crono related the story. Upon its completion, Kasumi,
who was collecting empty lemonade glasses, remarked, "He has a
sister? How nice!"
   "Now, if Lavos is as bad as Magus says, we'd better start
making plans-" began Lucca. She then caught Crono's haggard look,
and continued, "-tomorrow. For now let's relax." Her bespectacled
eyes gleamed. "And I know just who I'd like to relax with..."
With that, she headed out the door.
   "She just doesn't stop, does she?" Ryoga said in wonderment.
   "Just like a certain pig I could mention," answered Ranma
pointedly.
   Ryoga's face contorted in anger, and he clenched his fists.
"Hey, who're you calling a pig!"
   "Please don't fight in the house," called Kasumi from the
kitchen.
   "Dojo?" hissed Ryoga.
   "Right," Ranma answered.
   The two headed outside, and Robo noted, "Well, they seem to
have found a way to relax."
   "Wouldst thou care to join me in a repast at th' Neko Hanten?"
invited Frog. Crono gave him the sort of stare that one might
expect from a person who hadn't eaten for a week and a half.
   "Great idea," said Marle. "I haven't eaten anything but Dark
Fruit since we left. Let's go!"
* * * * * *
   Oddly, when the group of time travelers entered Neko Hanten,
Lucca was not chasing Mousse. To all appearances, she had caught
him.
   "So, why'd this thing affect me, too?" asked Mousse. He and
Lucca were sitting at a corner booth. Chains, electronic gadgets,
blades, and weights were stacked on the table. Mousse was
presently holding the black box he had referred to as a Hypno
Wave while attacking Ranma.
   Lucca giggled. "Silly! You need to adjust this dial first to
adjust the width of the wave. Didn't you read the manual?"
   "I tried," answered Mousse. He hefted a sheaf of paper thicker
than a dictionary and dropped it on the table. The pile of
weapons shuddered, and a mace, three throwing stars, and a wooden
duck clattered to the floor. The words "Hypno Wave User's Manual"
were printed boldly on the top sheet of the stack of paper. Lucca
dragged the manual over to her side of the table, and flipped it
open. Mousse circled the table and gazed intently over Lucca's
shoulder as she searched.
   "Ah, here we go," said Lucca. "Section one-hundred forty-two:
Radius and Arc Selection, Modification, and Enhancement. Block
sixty-four, paragraph seven: 'Should the user enter circumstances
in which the user lacks the insulative shielding discussed in
section fifty-six, or for other reasons wishes to limit the scope
of the attack, the following steps must be taken..."
   At their table, Frog and Robo watched in amusement as Lucca
translated her unpalatable User's Manual for Mousse. Crono and
Marle would, no doubt, have been equally amused, had they not
been devoting every ounce of their being towards pushing the
limits of human capacity for ramen. Each had a stack of four
empty bowls in front of them and each was well into a fifth.
   As they finished their fifth serving, Shampoo arrived with two
more bowls. "You two eat like starving wolves," she remarked. The
two glanced at her, and then returned to their frantic feasting.
   Shampoo noticed Frog and Robo watching Mousse and Lucca. A
quick glance revealed that business was slow (most of the
customers had cleared out when Mousse began to unload his arsenal
in the corner booth), so she decided to chat a bit.
   "Shampoo is so happy that Mousse with Lucca now," she said.
   "Oh?" responded Robo. "Has he finally accepted Lucca's
romantic overtures?"
   "Well, no," admitted Shampoo. "But Lucca keep him busy, so he
not in Shampoo's hair."
   "Thou must be quite relieved," prompted Frog.
   "Of course!" Shampoo answered automatically. Then she frowned.
"Except now Shampoo have so much work to do. Shampoo and great-
grandmother agreed that Mousse should spend as much time with
Lucca as possible, so he give up on Shampoo. So now Shampoo have
to do Mousse's work as well as Shampoo's own! Shampoo doesn't
even have time to visit Ranma. It was fine when Lucca was gone,
because Mousse did half the work. But then he always pester me!"
Shampoo looked miserable. "It not fair! Shampoo unhappy when
Mousse here, and unhappy when Mousse gone!"
   Robo looked sympathetic. "It does sound like a trying
conundrum. But, from what I have heard, Ranma does not desire a
romantic relationship with you. Would Mousse not be a reasonable
alternative? He certainly seems attracted to you."
   Shampoo's eyes flashed, and she glared angrily at Robo. "Don't
dare suggest such thing! Mousse is weak, stupid fool!"
   "A fool in love," murmured Frog.
   Shampoo ignored him. "Besides, Ranma love Shampoo, too. He
just too stubborn admit it." Then Shampoo looked smug. "Even if
Shampoo and Ranma not in love, laws of Joketsuzoku demand we
marry."
   Suddenly, Shampoo, Frog, Robo, and the two eaters were
overwhelmed by a sickening, dizzy feeling. Shampoo slumped to her
knees. The few remaining diners aside from Crono's associates
looked similarly affected, and a couple of them had collapsed
face first into their noodles.
   "No, not yet!" Lucca's voice called out weakly.
   "Oops, sorry," answered Mousse, turning the Hypno Wave off. Of
all those in the room, only he seemed unaffected.
   "Stupid Mousse!" yelled Shampoo.
   Mousse looked devastated. "Oh, my darling Shampoo! Are you
harmed? Let me carry you to a doctor!" Mousse stood up, and began
to walk toward the irate Chinese Amazon. Suddenly, he collapsed
on his face, tripped up by a hammer nonchalantly extended by
Lucca.
   Lucca feigned devastation. "Oh, my darling Mousse! Are you
harmed? Let me carry you to a doctor!" Lucca stood up, dropped
her hammer, and strategically tripped over it onto Mousse.
"Oops," she said, as she draped herself over the fallen man.
   Mousse appeared uncomfortable in such close proximity to the
amorous inventor. "Er, I'm fine." He shrugged Lucca off of
himself, and quickly stood.
   Lucca stood as well, and walked steadily toward Mousse. "No,
we'd better see a doctor. We may have suffered internal
injuries..." She smiled at Mousse, and the light glinted off of
her thick glasses. "Who knows, it could be serious. We might have
to spend weeks in the hospital... Alone together..."
   "Eep," eeped Mousse, backing slowly away from the approaching
Lucca. His back touched a wall, and Lucca's grin widened. She
lunged, and Mousse jumped to the side.
   "Aaahhh!" he screamed, as he ran toward the door. Lucca
stopped, and dug around in her satchel. Soon she produced one of
her pistols. She took careful aim, and fired. A stream of
undoubtedly cold water arced through the air. Mousse ducked in a
panic, and the fluid pierced the air where he had been standing.
"This is for your own good!" announced Lucca, hefting a huge
butterfly net with her free hand and giving chase. As the two ran
out of the restaurant and down the street, Mousse's cries,
Lucca's pleas, and the occasional sound of squirting water faded
away.
   Shampoo laughed. "Situation became much more interesting when
Lucca found out Mousse become duck in cold water."
   "So I see," said Marle, still shaking off the residual effects
of the Hypno Wave. She seemed to have lost her appetite, as had
Crono.
   "Shampoo!" Cologne called from the kitchen. "Return to your
duties! You still must sweep the pantry, wipe the tables clean,
and make six more deliveries." As an afterthought, "And you still
have Mousse's work to do, as well."
   Shampoo sighed forlornly, and said farewell to the visitors,
who, in turn, got up to leave.
* * * * * *
   At Ucchan's, Ukyou was relating the story of her engagement to
Ranma. "...but Ranma's father didn't really want me to be Ranma's
wife, so he asked Ranma which he liked better, okonomyaki or me.
Ranma really had no idea what was happening, so he chose
okonomyaki. So, Genma took Ranma and the okonomyaki stand, and
left without me."
   Magus was disgusted. "And you still wish to marry this fool?"
   "Don't call Ranchan a fool," Ukyou said severely. "He may be
pig-headed at times, but I love him. Besides, his father was the
one who was really at fault, and I already beat the tar out of
him."
   Magus snorted noncommittally. Then, he stiffened, and his eyes
narrowed. "What is it?" asked Ukyou.
   Wordlessly Magus approached a potted plant. He swept back his
cape and withdrew his sinister scythe. Before Ukyou could utter a
protest, He swung the scythe, neatly chopping the plant off of
its pot. The pot screamed, and a brown-haired head emerged with a
frightened expression. The pot itself sprouted arms and legs, and
quickly tried to scramble away from Magus and his weapon. Magus
casually reached out and grabbed the fleeing figure by the hair
and lifted it into the air. The remainder of the pot fell away,
revealing the brown-haired head to possess a body clad in a cute
pink dress.
   "Tsubasa!" exclaimed Ukyou, her eyes narrowing.
   "Help, Ukyou!" pleaded the dangling figure.
   "Shall I dispose of him?" offered the dark sorcerer.
   "No!" exclaimed Ukyou in horror.
   "I knew you loved me!" beamed Tsubasa.
   "Shut up, Tsubasa," Ukyou responded.
   "And what is this little man to you?" asked Magus.
   "He's an obsessive pest," Ukyou answered. "But I don't want
you to kill him! No matter how obnoxious he is!"
   Magus shrugged. "Very well." He carried Tsubasa to the door
and threw him outside. Tsubasa evidently decided that today was,
perhaps, not the best day to visit his dear Ukyou, and left in a
hurry.
   "Uncanny," remarked Magus, dusting off his hands. "Had I not
felt his aura, I never would have detected him."
   "Tsubasa's really good with disguises," granted Ukyou. "It
makes him all the more annoying. I'm never able to keep him from
sneaking in after me."
   "Then why didn't you let me finish him?" asked Magus.
   Ukyou looked stern. "Tsubasa may be a pest, but no one
deserves to die."
   Magus gazed at her quietly for a few seconds. "Like Schala,
you possess a compassionate heart. I can hardly fault you for
that. But, in the end, my sister's compassion caused me to lose
her, when she refused to deny our mother." Magus looked away.
"For my part, experience has taught me a somewhat harsher
philosophy."
   "Without compassion, the world can be a lonely place," said
Ukyou pityingly.
   "Yes," responded Magus, still turned away.
   Then, Magus turned to her. "You said that you desired this
Ranma. What keeps you from him?"
   Ukyou was caught off guard. "Well, mainly the fact that he has
so many other girls after him, and he refuses to settle on one. I
think he just doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings." Then,
after a moment's thought, "Or else he's afraid that the rest will
try to kill him if he doesn't pick them."
   "I see," said Magus. "Who are these...other girls?"
   "Well, Akane, Shampoo, and Kodachi are the main ones." Then,
Ukyou became suspicious. "I don't want you to hurt anyone for my
sake," she warned.
   "Of course not," Magus said dismissively. Ukyou seemed
satisfied with this. Suddenly, Magus's eyes widened. "Kodachi,
did you say? Not...Kodachi Kunou?" Ukyou nodded.
   Magus began to laugh. "Then this Ranma is the man who
eventually led to her death!"
   "WHAT?" shouted Ukyou, grabbing Magus by the shirt. "WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
   Magus regained his composure. "My apologies, dear Ukyou. Allow
me to explain. Do you recall the resilient survivor I mentioned?
The one who survived at my side after the apocalypse longer than
any of the others I had chosen?" Ukyou nodded. "That was Kodachi.
When I discovered her, I saw that she burned with an obsession
equal to my own. An obsession for a man she called Ranma. After
Lavos rose, Kodachi was convinced that Ranma had somehow
survived. She was determined to find him, no matter what he had
become." He smiled wryly. "Kodachi's practice of spraying
everyone and every animal she met with warm water made her few
friends. Every day, she led an expedition to try to find other
survivors--though, in actuality, her one concern was to find
Ranma, whatever he had become. These expeditions were dangerous,
but I encouraged them, as they served both to exterminate hostile
elements around our base of operations, and also to test the
mettle of the survivors I had chosen. Regrettably, each of the
chosen was either picked off during the course of one expedition
or another, became depressed and committed suicide, or went mad
and ran off alone, never to be seen again. I had such high hopes
for Kodachi." Magus shook his head sadly. "After everyone else
had died, she still insisted on searching for Ranma, and I
usually accompanied her. Eventually, we found him. What was left
of him." Ukyou looked a bit horrified at this. "At least, Kodachi
was convinced that it was him. I still don't know how she could
tell. All that was left was a skeleton, and it looked like a
woman's skeleton to me. But Kodachi was certain. She changed
radically that day, and for the worse. Where she was usually
vibrant and optimistic, she suddenly became listless and
disinterested. She did nothing but mope around the compound.
Eventually, I discovered that she had stopped eating. I tried to
console her, but it was no use. One day, I found that she had
left the compound. I never saw her again."
   "How sad," Ukyou murmured. "I never suspected that Kodachi
cared so much for Ranchan."
   Magus continued. "After Kodachi was gone, I tried to convince
myself that she had died because she was weak. But I couldn't
shake the feeling that Kodachi's fate could be my own. If I was
to one day find my sister dead, would I lose the desire to live,
as Kodachi apparently had? Kodachi's death also signified another
concern. It was the final and complete failure of my plan to try
to preserve human life in the face of Lavos's destruction. I had
little left to do but to wait, and hope for rescue. I was
fortunate that rescue finally came."
   Suddenly, Nabiki's unmistakable voice called out, "Hey, how
'bout some service here?"
   "Could you see what she wants?" requested Ukyou. "I need to
get the griddle warmed up."
   "As you wish," Magus replied with a bow. He strode out of the
kitchen and approached Nabiki's table. He smirked, as he noticed
that Nabiki was wearing a spearhead on a silver chain. "Nice
necklace," he remarked with a sneer.
   "Oh, thank you ever so much," replied Nabiki wryly. "So,
you've been reduced to waiting tables by your dear Ukyou, eh?"
   "Just tell me what you want," he growled.
   "Oh, it's not what I want," Nabiki smiled. "It's what you
want. I couldn't help overhearing you talking to Ukyou in the
kitchen. Whether she could tell or not, I'm willing to wager that
you intend to try to hook Ranma for her."
   "And if I am?" queried Magus, staring directly at her.
   "I just thought that you might like the inside scoop on the
opposition," she replied.
   "And what do you want for this...information?" asked Magus,
not fooled for a second.
   "Just one tiny thing...a Dark Fruit plant, and the means to
sustain it."
   "Planning on staring a Dark Fruit fad?"
   "Hey, there's gotta be a market for a fruit so nutritious that
you can thrive on one a day." She rubbed her hands together
thoughtfully. "And it won't hurt at all that I'd be the sole
owner..."
   "Very well," said Magus, reaching into a pocket. He withdrew a
small, black bag, which he dropped into Nabiki's hand. "This bag
contains a young Dark Fruit sapling. Don't open it!" he warned,
as Nabiki began to take a peek. "The light in this room would
kill it. All you need to have a thriving plant is pitch blackness
and something for it to root in. That, and a daily watering
should keep your plant alive."
   "Will I need to learn that darkness spell you used at your
bunker?" Nabiki asked.
   Magus snorted with derision and said, "Don't be absurd. You
have no affinity for shadow magic, even were I willing to teach
you." No real point in telling her that she did have a strong
aptitude for lightning magic, Magus thought wryly. The only one
there who could teach her was Crono, and he couldn't teach a fish
to swim. "Any sufficiently dark closet should do, as long as you
don't open the door too frequently. Now, your part of the
bargain?"
   "First, you'd better tell Ukyou that I'd like a small
okonomiyaki with sauce, or she's likely to get suspicious."
   Magus nodded, and delivered the order to Ukyou. He returned a
second later with the food. Nabiki took a bite, and began. "One
of your adversaries, Kodachi, you don't really need to worry
about."
   "Oh?" asked Magus, skeptically. He had expected her to be the
most formidable obstacle to his plans. At best, he had hoped that
her obsession hadn't developed to its full potential.
   Nabiki nodded, and continued, "She's been hospitalized for
days now. Apparently, she's suffering from acute indigestion or
something like that. No one's sure how it happened. If you hurry,
Ranma and Ukyou could be a happy couple before she recovers."
   "Go on," urged Magus, irritably.
   "Shampoo is another problem. She's a Chinese Amazon, who is
determined to marry Ranma, because he defeated her in a fight."
   "Joketsuzoku?" asked Magus. Nabiki nodded. "I am familiar with
their laws. She is a strong fighter?"
   "Yes. But her great-grandmother is much stronger, and she's as
determined as Shampoo to see Shampoo and Ranma marry."
   Magus nodded, grimly. "Who else should I know about?"
   "Just Akane, my sister. She and Ranma are fiancees, but she
claims to hate him. Still, she gets really jealous whenever
Ranma's with any of the other girls."
   "I see. I doubt she'll be much of a problem then. Even if she
does love Ranma, she'll probably deny it up to the point where
Ranma finally chooses Ukyou. By then, it will be too late."
   "You are truly a cold-hearted man," Nabiki noted, half-
admiringly.
   "Thank you," he replied with a mock bow. "Now if you'll pardon
me, I have plans to make." With that, Magus stood and walked back
to the kitchen.
   As Nabiki cheerfully walked out the door with her new
possession, Magus grinned and thought, I suppose that I really
should have told her that Dark Fruit plants are sterile, but I
suppose she'll find that out soon enough.
   "I'll be leaving, for a while," Magus told Ukyou, as he
entered the kitchen. "I shall return." Ukyou nodded
acknowledgment, and returned to her cooking.
   'So much to do, so little time,' thought Magus. 'Where to
begin...'

Chapter 12: Just in Time

   "So, we figure a team of five would be best, just to be on the
safe side," concluded Lucca.
   "Well, with me along, you'll be perfectly safe!" boasted
Ranma.
   Ryoga barked a short laugh. "Yeah, right! I guess I'll have to
go, too--just to keep you safe from him when he screws up."
   Before an irritated Ranma could reply, Marle added, "Crono and
I will be going, too."
   "And I shall complete the regimen," concluded Frog. Then he
looked apprehensive. "Or shouldst thou, Lucca? Lest misfortune
strike again?"
   "Don't worry, Frog," Lucca reassured him. "I've checked and
double-checked the Epoch. As long as you don't time-travel in
groups of more than three, nothing should go wrong. After all,
the rest of you did plenty of travel without me back on our world
without any problems. You'll be fine."
   Returning to the mission, Lucca continued, "We know that Lavos
is buried under Jusenkyo. Unfortunately, we don't know where
Jusenkyo is, as Robo didn't uncover anything in Tokyo."
   "Mostly because I was in Paris," Robo remarked dryly.
   "Shut up!" Ryoga responded defensively.
   Lucca pressed on, "We were planning on asking Magus, but he's
missing. Ukyou doesn't know where he is, and, frankly, I don't
really feel like waiting for him to get back." Several heads
nodded agreement. "Hopefully, with Ranma's help, you'll get to
roughly the same chunk of Asia as Jusenkyo. With luck, the
natives will be able to help you out--especially in the past,
when legendary training-grounds were, hopefully, a bit less
legendary."
   Crono remarked that there was still one flaw in the plan: five
travelers and only three seats. Lucca giggled. "True, the trip to
China will be a little...crowded. But once you get there, you can
travel back in time in smaller groups."
   "Maybe we should douse you with water so that you'll be
lighter, Ranma," suggested Ryoga with a smirk.
   "Maybe we should douse you with water to see if you get any
lighter, pig," Ranma responded acidly. Ryoga's smirk disappeared,
and he paled.
   "I can already tell this is going to be a barrel of fun,"
Marle chuckled. "I'll drive." With that, she climbed up into the
pilot's seat of the Epoch.
   "I'm taking a seat," announced Ryoga, leaping into the air.
Soon he felt the all-too familiar feel of Ranma's foot in his
face, as Ranma utilized him as a springboard. He collapsed to the
ground in a heap as Ranma vaulted into a chair. "How DARE you use
me as a stepladder! I WILL have my revenge!" Ryoga scrambled up
the side of the Epoch, only to see that Crono had already taken
the other seat. Frog, for his part, was perched, somewhat
awkwardly, on Crono's lap. Ranma suddenly realized what he was in
for and groaned. Ryoga slowly smiled. "Looks like I'll get my
revenge sooner than I expected," he grinned, climbing onto Ranma.
   As the cockpit closed, Lucca and Robo could hear cries of "Get
your elbow out of my ear, Ryoga," and "Oh, I'm so dreadfully
sorry, Ranma. Did I kneel in a bad spot?" and "AAAAHHH! That
HURTS, Ryoga!" The two of them slowly shook their heads as the
time machine lifted into the air.
* * * * * *
   Several painful minutes later, the aircraft landed in China.
The bruised and battered forms of Ranma and Ryoga stepped out of
the time-machine. Ranma looked around at the tall, rocky
outcroppings and scattered boulders, and said, "You know, this
place looks kinda familiar."
   "Jusenkyo?" asked Marle, still in the Epoch.
   "No...but I do think I've been here." He shrugged. "Probably
just passed through with my dad, that's all."
   Marle nodded. "Okay. Well, I'll take Frog and Crono a couple
hundred years back, and then come back for you." The time machine
rose into the air, and accelerated out of sight. Soon, it
returned, and disappeared in a flash of light, having accelerated
up to speed. Ranma and Ryoga regarded each other distastefully as
they waited.
   Fortunately, they didn't have to wait long. The Epoch soon
reappeared above them, and after its standard world circuit,
landed before them. The two climbed into the now vacant seats
formerly occupied by Crono and Frog.
  Soon, the five of them were standing in the same location, a
few hundred years back. The area looked mostly unchanged--aside,
of course, from the crazed woman racing toward them with a large,
and rather sharp looking sword. The woman screamed something in
Chinese, and swung the blade with vicious intent. There was a
loud clash of metal striking metal, accompanied by a bright
shower of sparks, as the descending blade was simultaneously
blocked by Crono's Rainbow and Frog's Masamune.
   "What? Who?" exclaimed Ranma in surprise at the unexpected
assault. He belatedly assumed a defensive stance. Still, he
hesitated. Something about the woman looked familiar.
   "So, baby-thieves," hissed the woman, "you speak Japanese.
Give me back my child!"
   "Baby-thieves?" asked Marle incredulously. "How could you say
such a thing! We'd never do anything that evil!"
   "Oh no?" asked the woman suspiciously. "I followed the tracks
that led from where I had left my baby. They led right here!"
   "What tracks?" demanded Ryoga. The woman pointed at a set of
huge, webbed footprints. Gouges in the ground at the end of each
toe indicated that the creature, whatever it was, had some
impressive claws.
   Marle looked slightly irritated. "Do any of us look like we
could make tracks like that?"
   The woman frowned. "Hmmm. Show me your feet."
   "What?"
   "Take off your shoes!" the woman insisted, lifting her sword
menacingly.
   With patient and impatient sighs, each of the gathered time-
travelers removed their footwear. The woman carefully examined
each foot, pausing briefly to study Frog's webbed toes in more
detail. Finally satisfied, she said, "You're right. You couldn't
have made those prints. Besides, they continue on that way." She
pointed at some more clearly visible prints heading away. As one,
the group collapsed in exasperation, groaning in disgust.
   Crono suggested that they could help her search for her child.
The woman was obviously pleased at the offer, and accepted.
   "Shouldn't we be looking for Jusenkyo," suggested Ranma with a
hint of impatience.
   "Show a little sympathy, you insensitive lout," suggested
Ryoga with more than a hint of impatience. "This lady's lost her
child!"
   Though irritated by Ryoga's abrasive response, Ranma put up no
further argument and began to follow the footprints along with
the others. Soon, however, the prints came to an end.
   "Where could it have gone?" wondered Ranma.
   "I don't get it," said Ryoga. "The thing couldn't have just
vanished, could it?"
   "There are less rocks here," noted the woman with the sword,
looking rather unhappy. "Could it have flown away?"
   "'Tis a possibility," said Frog grimly. "'Twould make it a
difficult creature to track."
   "No!" wailed the woman.
   "Hey, wait a minute!" exclaimed Marle. "Crono, do you remember
what Cologne told us to remember?"
   "Huh?" said the woman, surprised. "I never told you to
remember anything."
   "That's it!" exclaimed Ranma, suddenly remembering. He had
visited this same area when he had inadvertently traveled back in
time via the magical Nanban mirror. "You're Cologne! That's why
you look so familiar. I met you when Happosai was visiting-"
   "Don't you DARE mention that pervert!" interrupted Cologne in
a dangerous tone of voice. Then she calmed a bit and continued, a
bit sadly, "Besides, Happy left years ago. You're too young to be
that other boy..."
   "Look, we think we know where your child is," broke in Marle.
   That got Cologne's attention. "Really? How? Where?"
   "'The child can be found to the west of the village,'" Marle
said, repeating the words Shampoo's ancient great-grandmother had
insisted she memorize.
   "How do you know this?" asked Cologne curiously.
   Crono reassured her that the knowledge was from a reliable
source. He then asked where the village was, so they could travel
to the west of it. Cologne nodded, and led the way.
* * * * * *
   After a reasonable excursion the woman and her newfound allies
were standing at the edge of a chasm. The jagged tear in the
ground was several dozen yards wide, and stretched away in either
direction as far as the eye could see. A haze of steam issued
from the dark crevice, obscuring any attempt to gauge its depth.
"Do you think this is where the thing took my baby?"
   "I'd say there's a chance," noted Marle, gazing at the many
dozen huge clawed footprints surrounding the edge of the chasm.
   "Funny, our village has existed for many centuries." She
paused, gazing into the ominous void. "I would have thought that
someone would have found this before now."
   "It does seem pretty...noticeable," remarked Ranma.
   "Perhaps it's a result of the earthquake we experienced a few
weeks ago," pondered the Chinese Amazon thoughtfully. She gazed
into the crevice once more. "So, how can we get down?"
   Peering into the black pit, Ryoga remarked, "It looks way too
steep to climb."
   "I couldst jump down," suggested Frog. This comment earned
some puzzled frowns. "I speak not in jest. I can jump twixt yon
wall and this, back and forth, 'til I reacheth bottom."
   "Can you really do that?" asked the swordswoman, awed.
   "A powerful jump is one of the advantages accompanying a
frog's form, milady," responded Frog, bowing modestly. "I shall
return forthwith, hopefully with thine offspring."
   With that, Frog made a powerful leap off of the edge of the
cliff. When he hit the far wall, he braced against it with all
four limbs and sprung off again. After several such leaps, he had
descended out of sight.
   The assembled warriors waited in worried silent, many of them
gazing into the inscrutable mists rising from the stygian depths.
Suddenly, the mists seethed and churned as a massive updraft of
hot air surged upward from the crevice. A fearsome growl was
heard, and the mists were momentarily lit by a reddish glow.
"Frog!" called Marle, worriedly.
   For a few moments, there was dead silence. Ranma and Ryoga
cautiously approached the edge. They both jumped at the bright
sound of metal striking stone, but soon recovered enough to gaze
over the edge. From their vantage, they could see Frog hanging by
one hand from the hilt of the mighty Masamune, which was itself
buried to the hilt in the rocky wall of the chasm. Frog's other
arm looked badly burned, and hung useless at his side. Frog's
head was tilted to the side, long red tongue stretched
uncomfortably by the burden of an oddly silent child.
   By now, the rest had gathered around the edge. Frog's eyes,
bulging with the strain he was feeling, turned to gaze at them.
"Woubst thbou pbleeth helb be?" he asked, fingers slipping
slightly from their tenuous grasp.
   Working quickly, Ranma and Crono carefully lowered Ryoga over
the edge by his ankles. At full extension, and with Cologne and
Marle anchoring Ranma and Crono, Ryoga was still several feet out
of reach of the dangling amphibian. Thinking quickly, Ryoga
withdrew his bamboo umbrella, flipped it open, and stretched out
with it. "Climb on!" he called.
   Frog eyed the frail-looking parasol dubiously, but carefully
reached up with a leg to test its stability. Apparently
satisfied, Frog climbed onto the umbrella and yanked his sword
free from the wall, causing a few pebbles to fall into the
depths. With another glance, he confirmed that Ryoga's grip on
the umbrella seemed to be sure, and so he sheathed the Masamune.
Finally, he reeled in the dangling toddler, who giggled with
oblivious amusement. After rubbing his sore tongue, Frog urged,
"Thou must hurry! Th' serpent cometh!"
   "Huh?" asked a confused Ryoga. He was answered by the crunch
of a huge taloned foot gripping the rock wall somewhere far
below. Without further remarks, the dangling warriors were pulled
up onto the edge of the chasm.
   They ran a short distance away from the edge. Frog carefully
handed the infant child over to its grateful mother. "Hush now,
dear little Eyeshadow," Cologne crooned to the baby girl, who had
for some reason decided that, now that she was relatively safe,
it would be a great time to start bawling. Turning glad eyes on
her daughter's rescuer, Cologne asked, "How can I ever repay you,
um..."
   "I am called Frog, milady." Frog glanced warily at the chasm,
which was emitting a steady crunching noise as the beast within
scaled the rock wall, and drew his sword again. "Thou shouldst
take the youngling to safety. Bring help, if thou couldst. We
shall attempt to hold the wurm at bay." Cologne nodded once, and
ran in the direction of her village.
   The moment she was out of sight, the huge, taloned hand of the
beast gripped the edge of the cliff. Another hand soon joined it,
and by the effort of the heavily muscled arms attached to those
hands, a dragon's ugly head rose into view. A pair of three-meter
long horns protruded from the beast's head, one above each
slitted, reptilian eye, while a single sharpened horn jutted out
from the dragon's elongated snout. The snout sported a gleaming
set of nasty looking teeth. From the chin of the monster hung a
long, course beard of white dragon hair. The beast's eyes focused
on the tiny creatures that dared to raid its lair. The dragon
hissed menacingly, and shot out of the chasm and into the sky,
lifted by the power of two huge batlike wings. The rest of the
creature's body appeared to be long and snakelike, with no hind
limbs.
   The serpent wheeled in the air for a moment, giving the five
challengers enough time to scatter. The dragon selected a target,
and dove towards its hapless victim, jaws opened wide.
   Ryoga, the hapless victim in question, watched the rapidly
approaching dragon carefully. For a moment, he thought that the
beast intended to eat him alive. Then the dragon started to
inhale. Sensing the beast's intentions, Ryoga swung his umbrella
into position between the dragon and himself. It was not a moment
too soon. The world around Ryoga was abruptly transformed into a
blazing inferno. Ryoga gritted his teeth and sweated
uncomfortably as the fiery tempest raged around him. Then, as
suddenly as it had started, the barrage ceased, leaving Ryoga
untouched. The only things left burning were the ground around
Ryoga--and Ryoga's umbrella.
   Ryoga wasn't always the brightest or most thoughtful of
warriors, but even he could see the likely consequences of
hanging onto a flaming umbrella for too long. Pausing briefly to
test the wind, Ryoga reared his arm back, and flung the umbrella
with a twist of his arm. Looking like a bizarre cross between a
buzzsaw and a flaming top, the umbrella spun rapidly through the
air. It reached the dragon, who was hovering in the air and
charging up another blast of fire, and sheared cleanly through
the tender membranes of one wing. The dragon roared in pain, and
snapped at the umbrella with its massive jaws. This turned out to
be a less than wise decision on the part of the dragon, as the
razor-sharp umbrella cut easily through a tooth and continued on
its way. The tooth dropped to the ground with a 'thunk', and not
long after, the umbrella slowed its wild flight and fell as well.
   The dragon fluttered to the ground, wincing as it pumped its
damaged wing. Apparently, it was now too painful to fly. "Great
work, Ryoga!" beamed Marle. "It'll be much easier to fight on the
ground!" Ryoga blushed deeply at Marle's praise, and was almost
crushed as the dragon chose that moment to swing its tail at him.
   "Pay attention, you moron!" jeered Ranma, earning a dirty look
from Ryoga.
   Meanwhile, Marle, Crono, and Frog were preparing an attack of
their own. As one, they shouted, "Arc Impulse!" Marle closed her
eyes and began to concentrate. The air seemed to shimmer,
especially around the swords of Frog and Crono. With the shimmer
came a distinct drop in temperature, and the air around the
enchanted swords began to become misty, as if the air itself were
condensing from the intense chill now being radiated by the
blades. Crono leapt high into the air, sword raised high. He
descended from his leap, and katana met dragonflesh in a perfect
vertical cut, skin and scale instantly freezing and shattering
under the icy blow. Once Crono was clear, Frog dashed across,
adding a vicious horizontal slash to the vertical one left by
Crono.
   The dragon, freshly branded with a nasty cross-shaped wound
(and one likely to become more painful as it thawed), howled in
anger, and lashed out at Crono with a taloned hand. Crono
attempted to dodge, but was a little too slow. A single claw
nicked him, and sent him flying, trailing blood from a nasty
gash.
   "Crono!" shouted Marle. Ryoga, Ranma, and Frog paused briefly
in concern. The dragon, for its part, took advantage of their
distraction to swing its tail again. This time, it connected with
Ryoga and Frog. The two sailed through the air and landed with a
sickening thud.
   "I gotta make sure Crono's all right!" Marle told Ranma. "Oh,
and the others, too! Try to keep the dragon away!"
   "No problem!" called Ranma. He turned his attentions to the
beast before him. 'Great,' he thought, 'the thing's taken down
three of us and all we have to show for it is a torn wing, a
broken fang, and a couple of sword cuts. Sure, piece of cake.'
   As Ranma strode boldly forward, the beast seemed to regard him
with amusement. Almost casually, it lashed out at its solitary
foe with its tail. Obviously, it was expecting one of two
results. Either the foolish human would be struck by the tail and
flung through the air to join his comrades, or he would dodge, in
which case the dragon could have a little more fun with its prey
before finishing it off. To its surprise, Ranma did neither. When
the tail came close enough, Ranma leapt into the air and landed
on it. He then slowly started to make his way up the long scaly
appendage towards the beast's head.
   The dragon did not like this one bit. It thrashed its tail
around, hoping to dislodge the unwanted guest, but whenever it
became too difficult for Ranma to maintain his balance, he merely
dropped and gripped the tail until it became safe to proceed once
more. So, the serpent tried another strategy. Twisting around on
its supple neck, the dragon's massive head loomed over Ranma's
struggling form, preparing to grind Ranma's frail body into a
pasty mush between its wide, toothy jaws. Not a bad plan, but,
unfortunately for the dragon, one Ranma had been counting on.
Just before the dragon's mighty jaws closed around Ranma, he
leapt backwards, narrowly avoiding a toothy doom. Wasting no
time, Ranma grabbed onto the beast's nose and hauled himself up
onto the dragon's snout. After taking a moment to stick out his
tongue at the startled creature's huge eyes, Ranma reared back
and punched the snout with all of his might. He could feel scales
and cartilage crumple and break under his fist.
   The dragon howled with fury and pain, swinging its head and
finally dislodging Ranma. Ranma landed on his feet a distance
away, and turned to observe the damage he had wrought. He was
gratified to see that the dragon was bleeding profusely from both
nostrils and was evidently very annoyed. 'Well, that wasn't hard
at all,' thought Ranma. 'If I can get in enough hits like that,
the thing's bound to give up sooner or later.'
   Unfortunately, the dragon had had more than enough of Ranma.
Rather than lashing out with its tail, the dragon merely stared
at Ranma--and began to inhale. 'Oh, yeah,' thought Ranma grimly.
'It can breathe fire, can't it?' Ranma considered his options.
There was no cover near at hand, and Ryoga's umbrella was burnt
beyond any possible use. Ranma looked at the dragon, who had
almost finished its breath. Things were about to become very hot.
   'Hot! That's it!' thought Ranma. 'Now, if only I could cool
off--and fast...' "Marle!" called Ranma frantically. "I need ice,
and I need it NOW!" Marle glanced up from her work healing their
fallen comrades, confused. "I'm gonna get very warm, very fast if
you don't!"
   The dragon began to exhale. Ranma futilely tried to shield
himself with his arms--and suddenly found that he couldn't move.
His next sensation was of being painfully cold, and he realized
that Marle had apparently frozen him in a block of ice. Ranma had
expected Marle to drop a few slabs of ice between him and the
creature, like she had at the skating competition, but this was
even better! Even as the ice began to crack and melt under the
ferocious heat of the dragonflame, Ranma was feeling cool and
calm. Now was his chance. Just as the ice began to break apart,
Ranma shouted "Hiryu-Shoten-HA!" and thrust his fist into the
air. Ranma's chi energy twisted around his body in the shape of a
glowing dragon, and ripped into the air above him, leaving a cone
of chill air behind it. The extreme temperature difference caused
the air and fire to spin and twist, soon forming a fierce cyclone
of flame with Ranma at its eye. The dragon tried to resist the
cyclone's irresistible pull, but was drawn helplessly into the
swirling maelstrom. The dragon was whipped and lashed in the
searing air, and soon disappeared into the sky. Ranma's hurricane
died, and a few seconds later, the dragon's blackened body
crunched to the ground.
   "Wow! That was incredible!" said an astonished Marle.
   "Aw, it was nothing," said Ranma. But inwardly, he was
impressed. He had never been able to execute a Hiryu-Shoten-Ha of
that power before. Perhaps it was because the temperature
difference between himself and his opponent had never been so
great.
   Then Marle looked sheepish. "Sorry I had to freeze you, but
after curing Crono, Frog, and Ryoga, I didn't have enough magic
left to do an Ice2. So I had to settle for just Ice. I figured
that a little cold was better than a lot of hot."
   "Aw, it takes more than a little cold to slow me down." Ranma
boasted. Then, with rare concern, "How're the others?"
   As if in answer, the three patients stood up. "We're fine--no
thanks to you," Ryoga said darkly.
   "What do you mean?" answered Ranma, irritated. "I finished the
thing off, didn't I?"
   "Yeah, AFTER it had pitched us all away!"
   Before Ranma and Ryoga could engage in a more...spirited form
of discussion, Cologne appeared, along with several other armed
women. Upon seeing the decimated dragon, Cologne nodded and said,
"You are very strong fighters. Somehow I knew you would not need
our help." She approached the serpent's carcass.
   Frog looked concerned. "Madame, perhaps thou art being
incautious-"
   Suddenly, the dragon staggered upright and lashed out at the
startled Amazon with a handful of blackened, but still very
sharp, talons. Without a moment's hesitation, Frog lashed out
with his tongue and grabbed Cologne around the waist, yanking her
out of the claws' path. At the same time, he swung his mighty
blade with both hands and flung it at the beast. The Masamune
struck the dragon's left eye, and continued until it had lodged
itself into the back of the dragon's skull. The creature howled
once more, and then died.
   Frog unwrapped his tongue, and helped the wide-eyed and
breathless Chinese Amazon to her feet. "Art thou harmed?" he
asked.
   "No, thank you," Cologne panted. Slowly, she regained her
composure. If she had lost face among her Amazon colleagues,
neither they nor she betrayed any sign.
   Frog looked dolefully at the punctured head of the dragon.
"Retrieving mine blade shall not be a task to relish."
   "Leave it," suggested Cologne. Frog gave her a look that
implied he'd sooner leave his lungs. Cologne elaborated, "We will
be butchering the dragon anyway, and we can recover your sword
for you." Speaking of the butchering prompted Cologne to invite
the party of dragonslayers to a feast in their honor. "Dragon
meat is a rare delicacy," she added.
   "That'd be great!" Ranma answered at once, always eager to
take up an offer of free food.
   "Weren't you were in a hurry to find Jusenkyo?" Marle queried.
   "A quick bite won't hurt," Ranma answered defensively. Ryoga
smirked.
* * * * * *
   A short time later, the village of Joketsuzoku was abuzz with
activity. Everywhere one looked, there were people working with
some dragon part. At the center of the village, a huge hunk of
dragon meat was slowly turning on a massive spit. The meat was
producing a tantalizing aroma as it roasted. Elsewhere, dragon
meat was being cut into thin strips for drying and curing.
Several villagers had obtained some of the dragon's bones, and
were carving them into jewelry, weapons, and even furniture. The
dragon's scaly skin was being converted into shields and light
armor.
   Back in Cologne's hut, the five time travelers were relaxing.
Frog was playing with young Eyeshadow (who seemed absolutely
enthralled with the funny-looking knight). Ranma, Ryoga, and
Crono were having an arm-wrestling tournament, while Marle looked
on in amusement, occasionally cheering on whoever looked to be
losing. Cologne, oddly enough, seemed to be grinding hair from
the dragon's beard into a fine powder.
   After barely loosing a match to Crono, Ryoga rubbed his arm
and asked, "Hey, Cologne, whatcha doin'?"
   Cologne smiled slyly and answered, "I'm grinding Dragon's
Beard. Powdered Dragon's Beard is a main ingredient in a number
of magical potions. Especially love potions."
   At these words, Ranma stiffened. In his own time, Ranma had
frequently been a victim of Cologne's love potions (mostly
because of Ranma's tendency to eat anything put in front of him).
Crono took advantage of Ranma's surprise to slam his arm down,
concluding their match. Ranma didn't seem to notice. After
thinking for a moment, he stood and asked, "Cologne, could you do
me a favor?"
   Cologne stopped grinding and stared straight at Ranma.
"Anything," she said seriously. "If it wasn't for you and your
friends, I would have lost my baby, and possibly my life. What
would you like?"
   "I want you to promise me that you'll never force me to marry
your great-granddaughter."
   Cologne's serious expression shattered, and she started to
laugh. After recovering, she asked, "No, really! What would you
like?"
   Ranma's face remained stern. "I mean it. Promise me."
   Cologne grinned. "Well, I don't see how it would hurt, as you
and I will likely both be long dead by the time my great-
granddaughter reaches marriageable age. I think she would resent
being married to a dead man by a dead woman, anyway. Very well, I
promise that I shall never force you to marry my great-
granddaughter."
   Ranma felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Crono and
Marle looking sternly at him. "We need to talk," said Marle.
Crono gestured for Ranma to step outside.
   "Look," said Marle, once the three of them were outside,
"Cologne told us that the laws of Joketsuzoku are not to be
ignored-"
   "Of course she did!" Ranma interrupted. "The old troll's been
trying to get me to marry Shampoo for a long time now! Now I
finally have a chance to stop all that, and I'm gonna take it,
like it or not!"
   "This may be the wrong way to try it," Marle warned. "Changing
the past can have...unwelcome side effects." For emphasis, Marle
and Crono grimly explained how Marle had briefly been erased from
the space-time continuum, merely by being mistaken for her
kidnaped great-grandmother on her first trip back in time.
   "I don't care how risky it is! If I don't try, I may never be
free of her!" Ranma stomped back into Cologne's home. Crono and
Marle frowned at each other and shrugged.
   Before they could follow, a loud chime began to ring.
Throughout the village, people put down what they were doing and
began to walk toward the enormous table where the feast was to
take place. Cologne emerged from her hut, baby Eyeshadow in arm,
followed by Frog, Ryoga, and Ranma. The seven of them proceeded
to the center of the village and sat down. The table was topped
with the enormous dragon haunch that had been succulently
roasting on the spit earlier. Topping the roast dragon like a
toothpick in a titan's hors d'oeuvre was Frog's Masamune. Frog's
eyes widened slightly as he saw it, and he turned a questioning
glance on Cologne.
   "By all means, Frog," Cologne smiled, "you may carve the
roast."
   Needing no further prompting, Frog leapt to the top of the
mountain of meat, and pulled his beloved sword lovingly free of
it's fleshy encasement. A second later, he laid into his meaty
adversary, fibers parting easily before each blow. Frog continued
his frenzied culinary dance, and every now and then a single
serving of meat would land neatly on a random plate. When Frog
finally slowed to a halt, no plate was left unserved, and none
had been served more than once. As one, the villagers applauded
the breathless amphibian, who bowed deeply and returned to his
seat.
   Cologne stood and spoke to the assembled village loudly in
Chinese, prompting Ranma and the others to glance at each other.
Cologne noted their discomfort and said, "My apologies, I had
forgotten that you don't speak our language. I was about to begin
a speech. Toothbrush!" She was apparently addressing an
overweight man with a pipe and crossed eyes. Ranma noted with
some amusement that the man looked almost identical to the
Chinese Guide who had helped Ranma and his father find their way
around China. Ranma wondered if the guide knew that he had an
ancestor from the Village of Chinese Amazons.
   The man approached and bowed to Cologne. Cologne spoke to him
for a few seconds in Chinese. She turned back to the time-
travelers and explained, "Toothbrush is the only other member of
the village who knows any Japanese. He will translate for you as
I speak."
   Cologne began to speak loudly to the villagers again.
Toothbrush listened a few seconds and translated, "She say that
she very happy that you strangers save baby. That what she tell
village."
   Cologne continued. "Now she say that she most happy to you,
Frog-person. She most happy to you because you save her and kill
dragon."
   "Hey, I mostly killed it-" Ranma started to protest.
Fortunately, Marle's hand over his mouth cut him off before he
could probe any new depths of tactlessness.
   Cologne was still speaking. "Now she tell whole village of
Amazon womans that she name her first son after you. She is
giving first son name 'Frog'. That what she say now."
   Frog jerked slightly. He cleared his throat (always an
attention-getter), and said, "Milady, I am honored beyond words.
But in truth, mine name is not Frog, but Glenn. Thine son wouldst
likely come to resent such a title."
   Cologne colored slightly, and thanked the knight. She
addressed the villagers again. "Now she say that first son name
not 'Frog' but 'Glenn'." A few of the villagers smiled at this.
   Cologne finally brought her speech to a close. Toothbrush
smiled widely and translated, "She say, everyone eat now. That
what she say."
   Ranma, of course, needed no further prompting. Within seconds,
his mouth was filled to capacity with scrumptious meat. The
flavor was odd; sort of spicy, though no spices had been added.
But as he chewed and swallowed at an appalling rate, Ranma
couldn't shake the feeling that he had forgotten about something.
   Ryoga, oddly enough, solved that dilemma. "Cologne? Do you
know of Jusenkyo?"
   "The cursed training grounds?" Cologne responded. "I have
heard stories about it--none happy. Why would you want to go
there?"
   Dodging the question, Ryoga pressed, "Do you know where it is?
It's important that we find it."
   Cologne thought for a few moments. "Sorry, I have no idea. I
know of Jusenkyo only through its legends, and none of those give
directions." Ryoga briefly assumed the bleak, tormented visage
that one would expect to see on a lost soul forever banished to
the nethermost regions of Hades. However, this was not an
extreme, or even unusual level of depression for Ryoga, and he
thanked the Amazon.
   A few minutes after the feast had ended (or a few centuries,
depending on the point of view), the sated time-travelers were
gathered around the Epoch, back in the twentieth century,
preparing for the trip back to Nerima. "Well, that was
unproductive," Marle frowned.
   "I wouldn't say that," said a blissfully happy Ranma. There
had been more dragon than even he could eat, and he was stuffed.
   "She was taking about our mission, you jerk!" snapped Ryoga.
   Crono suggested, none too gently, that the two of them should
stop arguing. He was eager to get back to Nerima to see what
Lucca would make of their failure. The five of them gloomily
piled into the time machine for the uncomfortable ride back.

Chapter 13: Break Time

   "Wonderful, wonderful," smirked Lucca. "By my calculations, we
might find Jusenkyo in, oh, a decade or two. IF we refrain from
staying for dinner at each location." Lucca glared pointedly at
Ranma, Ryoga, Crono, Marle, and Frog, each of whom developed a
sudden fascination with their fingernails. Lucca sighed. "Let's
face it: this isn't gonna work. Searching for Jusenkyo at random
would take way too long."
   "What else can we try?" asked Robo.
   Lucca shrugged. "I don't know. Our best bet, I think, would be
to wait until Magus returns, and ask him where Jusenkyo is.
Hopefully, he'll be willing to tell us."
   "And if he isn't, I'm sure Ukyou can convince him," grinned
Akane.
   Lucca nodded. Then she continued, "For now, however, I'm
tired, and I'm sure that our heroes here could use some sleep to
digest all of that dragon they ate. We'll continue this
discussion tomorrow."
* * * * * *
   Late that night, a shadowy figure approached the recently
repaired Tendo front gate. Wearing the night like a cloak, the
intruder vaulted the gate, and was momentarily illuminated by an
unexpected beam of light from a flickering street lamp reflecting
off of a small puddle of water on the ground. Had there been any
to witness this chance event, the identity of the stealthy
trespasser would have been revealed to be that of Cologne. The
ancient woman landed and hobbled on her staff over to the corner
of the house where the Epoch lay shrouded in a nondescript tarp.
With a quick jerk, Cologne pulled the tarp away and climbed into
the time machine.
   Sensing an occupant, the Epoch lit the dim cockpit lights and
illuminated the dashboard. Cologne studied the controls before
her. Altitude dial...ignition...chronometer...all was as she had
expected. The steering mechanism had an additional, unwelcome
feature. There was a long, metal bar jammed through the steering
mechanism. Words along its smooth length read "The Time Club".
The other end of the odd security device was stuck through the
destination dial, keeping the Epoch firmly in the present. But
all this, too, Cologne had anticipated. The Chinese Amazon
reached into a pocket and withdrew an ancient and yellowed
scroll. She unrolled the scroll to the very end and studied the
words written there for a few moments. Then, she pressed an
unmarked button on the dashboard. With a whirr and a click, a
small panel opened above the destination dial, revealing a
numeric keypad. Cologne rapidly tapped in a series of eighteen
numbers. When she moved her hand away, the panel clicked shut
again. At the same time, the apparently seamless Time Club
divided into four segments and receded into hidden panels in the
dashboard without a trace. Now, Cologne was free to pilot the
Epoch wherever she chose.
   The year and place where she chose to pilot the Epoch was,
oddly, the very same year and place Marle had set down earlier
that day. After landing the Epoch in the same clearing Marle had,
Cologne leapt out of the Epoch and hopped purposefully towards
the Amazon village.
   Once inside the village, Cologne had no trouble finding the
house she was looking for. She quickly jumped down from her staff
and tapped on the door with it. Mere moments later, a bleary eyed
and centuries younger Cologne answered her knock. "Hush, you'll
wake the baby," she admonished in Chinese.
   "I wouldn't dream of waking young Eyeshadow," the elder
Cologne answered in the same language. "I know very well how
trying she can be."
   At the sound of the unfamiliar voice, young Cologne's tired
eyes snapped open and focused on the source. "Who are you?" she
asked.
   "That is unimportant," answered Cologne dismissively. "What is
important is that I have a valuable gift for you." Cologne
reached into a pocket and withdrew another scroll. This scroll
appeared identical to the first except for its age. Where the
former had been ancient and yellow, this one was obviously newly
crafted.
   Young Cologne accepted the scroll dubiously. A quick scan
revealed that the scroll was filled with sentences and short
paragraphs, each entry marked with a date. She read a few at
random. "'Blush's husband-to-be is reluctant. Prepare love
tonic.', 'Teach Ryoga the Bakusai-Ten-Ketsu technique.', 'Bring
warm water to the Dojo for Robo.'" She looked up with a confused
expression. "I don't understand! What is this?"
   "You hold the future in your hands," Cologne answered,
somewhat cryptically. "What you choose to do with it is your
concern."
   Young Cologne was no fool. She suddenly realized the power of
the words before her. She turned her eyes back upon them, and
suddenly noticed that some of the dates were hundreds of years in
the future. "Perhaps I will live to see my great-granddaughter,
after all," she murmured. But there were none left to listen. In
Cologne's absorption with the scroll before her, her elder self
had slipped away without notice.
   As Cologne flew through time and space, she wondered about
what she had just done. It was going to be strange, living
without the comforting advice the scroll had provided--the
instructions on how to arm and disarm the Epoch's security
measures had been the last entry. Cologne had grown used to the
bits and pieces of advice the scroll had provided. Not dependent,
of course. Cologne had occasionally feared that she had become
so, but had reassured herself that the actions she took were her
own. Never had the scroll prompted her to take any action she
would not have considered taking on her own. It merely helped her
to decide which of many actions was the best to take to overcome
a problem. It was no worse than a fortune teller studying her tea
leaves, or a sorcerer consulting the spirits of nature. Of
course, she thought with a grin, the scroll was a good deal more
reliable. 'Besides,' Cologne frowned, 'there were so many
problems that the scroll had provided no help with at all.'
   For instance, Ranma's fear of cats had been a real
disappointment. With the possible exception of that annoying
Kodachi, cats were the only thing that Ranma feared--and he
feared them with a passion that more than made up for the myriad
fears he did not possess. If only Cologne had known that before
throwing her great-granddaughter into the Spring of the Drowned
Cat at Jusenkyo!
   It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. For one
thing, giving Shampoo a curse of her own stood a good chance of
inspiring sympathy in Ranma. Shampoo and Ranma might form a bond
of friendship inspired by their shared hardship. Such friendship
could easily lead to love, especially with an expert guiding hand
such as her own in play. Second, as Shampoo's cursed form was
obviously more limited than Ranma's, Ranma might pity Shampoo,
and humor her more than he might otherwise. Of course, Cologne
thought with a wry grin, there was also the issue of dominance.
What man could resist a woman whom he could turn into a
'helpless' kitty at will? Not that Shampoo would ever allow
herself to be dominated, of course. Still, the illusion was
there.
   It had seemed a sound plan. Unfortunately, the moment Ranma
had been presented with cute little Shampoo-cat, he had flown
into a mindless, unreasoning terror. When he learned that Shampoo
could now become a cat without warning, rather than feeling
sympathy, pity, or dominance, he developed a lingering
nervousness around her. A more open problem would have been much
easier to overcome than this ingrained fear. As things stood,
finally convincing Ranma to take his proper place as Shampoo's
husband had become a much more difficult proposition.
   There were many things that the scroll hadn't revealed that
Cologne would have liked to have known. Before writing the new
scroll, she had considered adding a few things, but decided
against it. In her centuries of life, Cologne had gained a lot of
knowledge. On the subject of time-travel, she knew several
things. First, some events in history, large or small, were
absolutely unchangeable. Any attempts to change them would have
no effect, and often the attempt itself would help to cause the
event. Other events could be changed, but to do so was very, very
risky. Sometimes the attempt would succeed beyond one's wildest
dreams. Just as often, however, the changes made would have dark,
horrible side-effects and repercussions that would make things
unspeakably worse. From what Cologne had learned of Crono and his
friends, their success at time-travel stemmed partly from the
fact that they rarely tried to change anything. For the most
part, they interacted with history, rather than trying to mould
it, and so avoided nasty problems like writing themselves out of
existence (well, Marle had done that once, but her friends had
fixed that problem). The one major change they had attempted, the
destruction of Lavos before he could ruin their planet, was a
pretty safe one--frankly, that particular event couldn't really
get much worse, no matter what they did. As things turned out,
the operation was a spectacular success. Unfortunately, Cologne
could imagine a thousand things that could go wrong if she
altered the scroll in any way. If she added too many new entries,
she might truly have become dependent on it, for one thing. She
might have lost the ability to think on her feet, to pursue
problems and deal with them.
   So, when Cologne had finally set down to copy the scroll, she
copied it word for word. It was somewhat eerie, though not
unexpected, how each stroke of her pen matched its mate on the
ancient scroll with an exactitude that no machine could hope to
match. It was odd; though the handwriting was her own, Cologne
knew that she never would have written as sloppily as whoever had
composed the scroll. Often, the sentences were badly written
grammatically, or entries seemed vague and inexact. But really,
no one had ever composed the scroll. She was copying it, as had
the ancient woman who had given it to her, and as had the ancient
woman who had given it to that ancient woman. Cologne bit back an
ironic laugh.
   Idly, Cologne wondered when she had realized that the aged
woman who had given her the scroll was, in fact, herself.
Probably the very day that she had looked into the mirror and
seen that woman looking back at her. It was somewhat ironic that
in her youth, Cologne had worried about becoming as unappealing
as the ancient visitor who had delivered her future to her. Now,
of course, Cologne realized that such thoughts had been silly.
She was still as lovely as she ever was, and was fit as a fiddle
to boot. Of course, Ranma thought she had the sex appeal of a
prune Danish. For that matter, so did Mousse. And Ryoga. And
nearly all of the other males Cologne had interacted with. None
of them had any taste to speak of, naturally. After all, Happy
still found her appealing...Of course, Happosai would probably
find a tree stump appealing if it wore panties and a bra.
Obviously, none of them could appreciate true beauty when they
witnessed it. It was on that thought that Cologne set the Epoch
down in its resting spot beside the Tendo Dojo.
   Even as Cologne scrambled off into the darkness, another
figure approached the time machine. This figure, however, had no
intentions of stealing the Epoch. Magus carefully studied the
intricate device, and wondered what would be the best way to
sabotage it.
   'It can't be too obvious,' thought Magus, 'or Lucca will find
it too quickly. More importantly, it cannot be mere physical
damage. Lucca could probably fix any damage I could deal in a
week, and I'll need at least that long for my plan to succeed. Of
course!'
   Hastily, Magus flipped open a panel near the rear of the
Epoch. He formed a magical probe attuned to the substance he
sought, a substance that had to be a part of any machine used for
time-travel. Within moments, he found it: a fist-sized box
composed of a shiny red metal. Dreamstone. Properly forged,
dreamstone could be many things. It could channel or disrupt
magical energy. It could assume a hardness greater than that of
diamond. Here, it served to tear the fabric of space-time just
enough to allow the machine and its occupants to slip from era to
era at will.
   Magus loosened the connections that held the dreamstone cube
in place, and carefully pulled it free of the wires and cables
attached to it. He pulled the cube out and held it before himself
with a mixture of reverence and distaste. He didn't care much for
dreamstone in any form. On Magus's own world, dreamstone had been
a metal far rarer than platinum. Here, apparently, it didn't
exist at all. This suited Magus just fine. It had been through
the use of a sword composed of dreamstone, the Masamune, that
Frog and his friends had toppled him from his empire of monsters
and shattered his attempt to draw Lavos forth. It was, he
granted, a blessing in disguise. He could never have defeated
Lavos, then--not by himself at any rate.
   'Ha!' thought Magus. 'Phase one complete.' As he crept away
from the Epoch, he threw a rueful smirk at the closed panel that
hid his theft for the time being. He was sure that Lucca would
find out what he had done in no time at all. Fortunately, there
was nothing she could do about it, whether she found it or not.
He had the box, after all.
* * * * * *
   Day dawned on the Tendo household, leaving no trace of either
transgressor. Soon, the delicate sounds of incoherent screaming
and shattering furniture signaled Ranma and Akane's first
argument of the day. "Where is he, Ranma!?" shrieked Akane,
swinging a bokken at a desperately dodging Ranma. Nabiki, Genma,
and Robo (in human form), who had been the first down to
breakfast (aside, of course, from Kasumi, who was preparing it),
watched the brawl with resignation and some amusement. "WHERE IS
P-CHAN?!" Akane demanded. The look on Robo's face turned grim.
   "How should I know where he is?" responded Ranma, barely
ducking a particularly vicious swing. "He's your pig!"
   "Don't lie to me, Ranma!" she scowled in response. "I saw him
follow you into the bathroom!"
   Ranma almost froze (an action which could have proven most
painful at that moment). How could he explain that P-Chan had
come in to change back into Ryoga? He couldn't! "Um...ah...N-no!
It's just that Ryoga, er, P-Chan, he, well..."
   At that moment, Robo noticed Ryoga standing at the top of the
stairs. A grin spread across Ryoga's face as he watched Akane
trying her best to paste Ranma. Then he realized that Robo was
gazing at him with an expression so coldly emotionless that she
might as well have been in robot form. He swallowed involuntarily
as a wave of guilt rose inside of him. "Um, Akane?" he
tentatively asked.
   Akane faltered suddenly, some of her rage ebbing away. She
was, however, still alert enough to trip Ranma as he tried to use
Ryoga's distraction to flee. "Morning, Ryoga!" she smiled
cheerfully, simultaneously stomping a foot down onto Ranma's back
to hold him in place. "I'll be with you in a bit."
   Ryoga swallowed. 'I've gotta tell her eventually. Might as
well be now.' "Akane, there's something important I gotta tell
you."
   Akane looked back at him with concern. "What is it, Ryoga?"
   Ryoga began to sweat. "It's just that I-I'm...well, that is...
P-Chan is..." And predictably enough, Ryoga chickened out. "I saw
P-Chan jump out the window and run away." Robo grimaced and
slapped a hand to her forehead. Nabiki looked intrigued. Why
would Ryoga be saving Ranma?
   "From a second-story bathroom?" Akane asked incredulously.
   "He climbed down the side of the house?" Ryoga offered lamely.
   Akane looked thoughtful for a moment. "I didn't know he could
do that," she said. She turned wide, trusting eyes on the
bandana-wearing martial artist. "But you would never lie to me,
would you Ryoga?"
   Ryoga's face twisted into an expression of guilty nervousness.
He chuckled in uneasy agreement, not quite able to look Akane in
the eye.
   Apparently, Akane failed to notice Ryoga's uncertainty. "Of
course not!" She frowned down at Ranma. "I'm sorry I blamed you
Ranma. Still, you shouldn't have let P-Chan jump out the window!
He could have hurt himself." With that, Akane removed her foot
and helped Ranma to his feet. Ranma threw a somewhat confused,
but extremely grateful look to Ryoga. Normally Ryoga loved to see
Akane pounding on him.
* * * * * *
   After a reasonably uneventful morning passed, midday found
Ranma, Akane, and Marle walking to Ucchan's to see if Magus had
returned. They hadn't traveled far before Shampoo appeared out of
nowhere and wrapped herself around Ranma with a happy sigh.
"Ranma take Shampoo to date?" Shampoo asked in her customary
fashion.
   Fearing Akane's retribution (and rightly so), Ranma freed
himself and said, "Not now, Shampoo! We're busy."
   "Too busy for your bride-to-be, Son-in-Law?" called an ancient
voice. "Why do you continue to persist in this ridiculous
resistance?" As the voice spoke, Shampoo attempted once more to
throw herself at Ranma, succeeding only in tripping over Akane's
innocently outstretched foot.
   "Cologne," sighed Ranma. Then he perked up. "Hey! You promised
that you wouldn't force me to marry Shampoo!"
   "Idiot!" snapped Cologne, whacking Ranma sharply on the head
with her staff. "If it had ever been my intention to force you to
marry Shampoo, she would be carrying your second child by now."
Shampoo, who was glowering at Akane, smiled dreamily for a moment
at her great-grandmother's words. Akane looked stunned, and
slightly furious. Ranma looked dismayed. Cologne sighed and
continued, "As it stands, however, I will merely continue to try
to persuade you to take the path destiny has chosen for you and
Shampoo." She glanced sharply at Ranma. "Make no mistake, Son-in-
Law, one day, you and Shampoo will be wed, and by your own
choice." She gestured to Shampoo. "Come, great-granddaughter. I
know that you would like to spend some more time with your
husband-to-be, but for now they have pressing business to attend
to."
   Shampoo frowned as she stood up. Then she smiled prettily at
Ranma and said, "Bai bai, Ranma! Shampoo see you later, maybe
after violent girl go away." With that, she hurried after the
receding shape of her great-grandmother.
   Akane, still uncertain whether or not she was furious with
Ranma, with Shampoo, with Cologne, or with some combination of
the above, suddenly realized that Marle was laughing
uncontrollably. "What's so funny?" Akane snapped at her.
   Marle wasn't laughing at her, however. "Oh, Ranma!" she
gasped, "You sure flubbed that one."
   "Hey-" Ranma began to protest.
   Akane's anger faded to curiosity. "What do you mean?" she
asked. "Flubbed what?"
   Marle wiped aside tears of mirth and said, "Back in the past,
he made Cologne promise not to make him marry Shampoo. And it
worked!" With that, Marle collapsed into laughter again.
   "You idiot," sighed Akane.
   Ranma mustered a defense, "Hey, what would YOU call it? I
mean, she's always tryin' to sucker me in with love potions and
stuff. Seems like force to me!"
   "But maybe not to her," answered Akane, pointedly. "If you
were going to make her promise something, you should have made
her promise to stay away from you or something." Then she glared
at him. "Of course, the best way to solve the problem would be to
tell Shampoo that YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED."
   Ranma backed away, sheepishly. "Hey, you know Shampoo! She
won't take no for an answer."
   "I wouldn't know," Akane answered coolly. "I've never seen you
try."
   By this time, Marle had recovered from her laughter. "C'mon
guys. We'd better get going." Without a word, Ranma and Akane
moved into step with her (each being careful to make a big show
of ignoring the other), and the three soon reached the okonomyaki
restaurant.
   Unfortunately, Ukyou had no good news to share, if, indeed,
having Magus around was to be considered good news. Ukyou
evidently thought it was, as she seemed quite worried about the
dark sorcerer who had become so fond of her. Marle assured her
that if anyone could take care of themself, it was Magus. Marle
refrained from adding that Magus had developed the art of taking
care of himself to an exact science. Such a statement would have
been less than tactful, and probably more cynical than Marle
liked to be.
   Whatever Marle's hidden feelings, Ukyou seemed cheered by her
reassurance, and invited the three to share in an okonomyaki
lunch, on the house. The offer of free food obviously brightened
Ranma from the sulky mood his and Akane's argument had put him
in. The offer of free food FROM UKYOU, obviously had the opposite
effect on Akane, who, nevertheless, ate her share.
* * * * * *
   The three of them were in relatively good spirits when they
returned to the Tendo home. Naturally, this couldn't last. "We've
got a problem," said a stern-faced Lucca when they walked through
the gates. "We've been sabotaged."
   "Huh?" said Marle. "The Epoch?"
   Lucca nodded. "C'mon, I'll show you." The young inventor
guided the trio over to the Epoch pointed out the gaping
emptiness where the dreamstone box used to be in the guts of the
intricate machine. None of the three had any idea what was wrong.
After a few seconds, Lucca explained the problem. "It's probably
the one part in the whole machine that I can't fabricate with
material and machinery that I can find around here." She shrugged
hopelessly. "Heck, I don't even know if dreamstone EXISTS on this
planet."
   Akane peered into the tangled interior of the Epoch. "How on
Earth could you tell that something was missing? Did you try to
fly while we were gone?"
   Lucca shook her head. "Nope, I was just making a routine check
when I noticed this." She pointed to one of the three footpads
that served as landing gear for the time machine. The three gazed
once more, and again couldn't tell what Lucca wanted them to see.
Rather more impatiently this time, Lucca shouted, "Look! The
pad's two centimeters outta alignment. It had to have been
moved." True enough, there was an area of flattened grass along
the edge of the footpad.
   "Couldn't I have made the difference in my landing?" Marle
asked.
   "No, I straightened out the grass after that one." Lucca
explained.
   "You what?" asked Ranma.
   Now Lucca looked a bit sheepish. "I straightened out the
grass." Then, defensively, "It was so I could tell if anyone had
taken the Epoch! And it worked."
   "You're really paranoid, aren't you?" stated Ranma.
   Lucca looked irritated. "It's not paranoia when they really
are out to get you."
   "But how could anyone have taken the Epoch?" asked Marle. "I
set the Club when I was done with it."
   "The what?" asked Akane, somewhat lost.
   "The Time Club: The ultimate in time machine security," Lucca
explained. "It makes sure that no one takes the time machine
without our say-so. I'm not sure how anyone could have disabled
it without the proper code. Still, the evidence is here."
   Akane tried to regain a grasp of the problem. "So, someone
went for a spin in the Epoch. Then they sabotaged it? Why?"
   Lucca shook her head. "I don't know. My best guess is that
they changed something in the past or future, and don't want us
to change it back."
   "Isn't there anything else you can use instead of the part
they took?" asked Ranma.
   "Nope, it's gotta be dreamstone. Maybe if I had some, I could
build the part that I need..." Lucca's eyes drifted to the
pendant Marle wore around her neck--a pendant Marle and her
friends had discovered was made of the rare metal. Marle started
to protest, but was cut off when Lucca sighed and said, "Nope,
even if Marle were willing to part with her pendant, there's just
not enough there for the part I need. The Masamune won't work
either. The dreamstone in that sucker is so rigid that nothing
short of a smelting plant could even dent it, let alone shape it.
Anyway, I doubt Frog would give that up any more than Marle would
her pendant. Our only real hope is to find the original part, and
take it back from whoever stole it. We do know one crucial fact:
Either our thief is very lucky in their choice of sabotage, or he
or she knew exactly how to cripple a time machine. Who do we know
who could do that?"
   "Well, all of the people who are here from our world know the
importance of dreamstone, and could probably have recognized that
part for what it was," Marle thought aloud. "Other than that I
can't think of anyone."
   "Nabiki could have done it, too," added Lucca reluctantly. "I
taught her enough about the Epoch to do the job."
   "Hey, this is like a detective movie," Akane exclaimed. Ranma
rolled his eyes. She continued, "Okay, so now we have some
suspects. Who had a motive?"
   "Oh, please!" scoffed Ranma derisively.
   Akane flattened him with her trusty hammer. "Try to be a
little helpful, Ranma!" she snarled.
   "Who would gain any benefit from changing the past or future?"
asked Lucca. "Most of us only got here a couple weeks ago.
Nothing really horrible has happened yet."
   "Well, Robo seemed pretty angry about his curse," said Ranma
as he staggered to his feet. It was the first really helpful
thing he had said so far.
   Lucca nodded. "Sure did. Still, he seems to be getting over
it. On the other hand, he wouldn't have anything to get over if
he hadn't been cursed in the first place. I guess that leaves him
a suspect."
   "But why would he sabotage our only way home?" asked Marle.
   "Okay, so he's not a very GOOD suspect," conceded Lucca.
"Still, it'll be easy to tell if he's innocent. Just splash him
with water and see if he turns into a girl or not. Other than his
curse, I don't think he'd have any reason to be sneaking around
in time. So, who else?"
   "We don't really know much about the time Magus spent here
before we arrived," Marle stated. Then she wrinkled her brow. "Or
after we arrived. Whatever."
   "True," Lucca answered. "Who knows what Magus might have done
that he wished were otherwise? Though, Magus tends to be a man of
few regrets, whatever he does."
   "I dunno," said Ranma. "He seemed awfully eager to get home
again. I don't think he'd wreck the machine." Akane blinked in
surprise, and then smiled in spite of herself, proud of Ranma's
unusual helpfulness. She must have hit him harder than she
thought.
   Lucca nodded. "Also true. And if he used the machine to find
his own way home, I doubt he would have brought it back, let
alone sabotage it. Still, we'll keep him in mind if no better
suspect is revealed."
   "How 'bout Nabiki," asked Akane. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind a
quick peek at the stock market of the future."
   "Oh, she wouldn't do that!" exclaimed Lucca. She twitched
uncomfortably for a few seconds under the solemn gazes of the
others. She frowned. "Okay, maybe she would. Still, the same
problem remains. Why would she sabotage the Epoch? It's our only
chance to save her future, and barring that, her only chance at
escape."
   Marle looked uncertain. "I have an idea. Maybe she went into
the past, invested in a lot of good stocks, and intends to
collect now. In the meantime, she doesn't want us leaving with
the Epoch, so she sabotages it. Then, after she collects the
money, she repairs the Epoch and takes it all back to, say, 1950
or so and lives like a queen until the Day of Lavos."
   The four of them pondered that a moment. That pause spoke
volumes more about Nabiki's character than anything more verbal
could. Ranma, oddly enough, was the first to come to Nabiki's
defense. "That seems pretty sinister, even for Nabiki."
   "Still, it's the best we have to go on," said Marle. "Let's go
have a nice, long chat with Robo and Nabiki." They started
walking towards the front door. Then Marle paused and said,
"Well, a short one for Robo, I guess."
   The four amateur detectives disappeared into the house. A
passerby might have heard the sounds of splashing water, a
feminine voice crying out in protest, and a few muted apologies,
in that order. Most passersby, however, had long since learned to
shun the Tendo Dojo.

Chapter 14: Time Warp

   Wherever the dark sorcerer had been spending his days lately,
Magus once more stalked the night. The building he was presently
stalking was the Neko Hanten, where Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse,
were (hopefully) fast asleep. The front door was locked, of
course, and probably wired with any number of deviously intricate
theft deterrents. Whether it was or not, Magus didn't care. He
had other ways of entering homes uninvited. A third story window,
for instance; especially one on a blank wall. Such a window was
likely to be unlocked. Most burglars, after all, can't fly. Magus
was not a burglar, but he could. The sorcerer soon found an
appropriate window, and slipped silently into the darkened home.
   Aside from the wan light streaming in through the single
window, the hallway Magus found himself in was pitch black. This
did not bother him in the least. As a master of Shadow magic, he
had long become accustomed to the dark, and could see clearly in
the most poorly lit caves and corridors. Regardless of this fact,
it was not conventional vision that Magus needed now. With a
subtle mental effort, Magus magically probed the area around him,
trying to pick up a trace of the auras of the residents sleeping
somewhere in the building around him. Soon, he found the residue
of Mousse's aura. What he had been doing in the attic, Magus had
no idea. But, with Mousse's reputation for poor vision, Mousse
probably hadn't either. Magus locked onto Mousse's scent and
followed it.
   The aura traces led Magus to Mousse's sleeping form. The boy
was curled up like some kind of pathetic puppy on the floor
outside of Shampoo's bedroom. Magus had no respect for him. When
Magus wanted something, he took it. It was true that that sort of
behavior was usually frowned upon by others, but in this case it
was what Shampoo expected. To earn a wife in the tribe of Chinese
Amazons, one had to be willing to show one was strong and
determined. Strength Mousse had, Magus was certain of that,
perhaps even enough to defeat Shampoo and win her respect. But he
lacked the strength of will to truly face her, and so lacked the
strength of will to achieve his desires. Pathetic.
   But none of this was important now. What was important was
that Mousse was human now. Magus had learned several more details
concerning Ranma and the people he associated with from Nabiki,
in exchange for further care and feeding tips for her thriving
Dark Fruit plant (Magus had not been so naive as to believe that
Nabiki had told him everything he needed to know, nor had he been
so foolish as to tell Nabiki everything she needed to know; truly
she was a business woman to be reckoned with). Among the things
he had learned was that Shampoo often locked Mousse up in duck
form when he had been pestering her (which was frequent). This
had the potential of causing problems for Magus, whose plans
depended on having everyone important in human form this night.
Almost everyone, he amended.
   Magus would take care of Mousse in a minute. Cologne, he knew,
was the greater threat, and should be neutralized as quickly as
possible. Cologne's bedroom was, conveniently, located right next
to Shampoo's. As softly as a shadow, Magus slipped inside. He
stared thoughtfully at the withered crone sleeping peacefully
before him. Now this was someone he could respect. This was a
survivor. If the very fact that she was centuries old wasn't
enough to convince him, Nabiki's description of her fighting
prowess was. Despite the woman's helpless appearance, Magus knew
that she was a force to be reckoned with. Wasting no time, Magus
reached into a pocket and drew forth a leather drawstring pouch.
From it he withdrew a handful of fine powder. Chanting an arcane
verse, he liberally sprinkled the old woman with it. As each
syllable flowed forth, the powder seemed to shimmer and be
absorbed by the sleeping form.
   Suddenly, Magus felt a hard blow strike him in the stomach,
followed almost instantly by a jarring strike to the skull. The
sorcerer reeled backwards, stunned. Almost reflexively, he drew
his scythe from its hidden sheath in his flowing cape. But his
opponent wasn't moving. Cologne was sleeping as peacefully as
ever, but now had her long, wooden staff in hand. Magus sighed
with relief. It must have been a reflex. Somehow, the old woman
had detected him, and lashed out in response. Fortunately, he had
worked enough of his magic to ensure that she couldn't reach full
consciousness. Magus quickly finished the sleeping spell,
ensuring that Cologne would spend the rest of the night in a deep
sleep. Still, as he left the room, he couldn't help but to glance
back at Cologne with a somewhat awed expression. Truly, she was a
formidable woman.
   Magus took a moment in the hallway to apply the same treatment
to Mousse. Pitiful as the sleeping boy was, Magus didn't want to
risk anyone seeing what he was going to do next. Plus, he was
unsure whether he could open the door without waking the fool up.
Once Mousse was locked into slumber, Magus dragged him away from
the door, and slipped into Shampoo's room.
   He found the purple-haired girl curled up in her bed, almost
like a cat would sleep. She was snoring lightly. This one, Magus
knew, was much like her great-grandmother. She was powerful,
clever, knew exactly what she wanted, and pursued her goals with
ruthless enthusiasm. Magus could respect that. Her continued
failures, however, caused Magus to wonder if she was really as
clever as she seemed. But all of this was idle thinking. He had
work to do.
   Magus began with the same sleep spell he had used on the
others. He didn't want Shampoo to awaken before he was finished
and gone. The next thing he did was to produce a vial of clear
liquid from a pouch on his belt. 'My own home-brewed Chiisui-
ton,' he thought with a smirk.
   Years ago (or a few years hence), while Magus had been
researching Jusenkyo, he had stumbled across the lost Musk
dynasty. In the past, whenever a man of the Musk desired a wife,
that man would drop an animal into the Spring of the Drowned Girl
at Jusenkyo, and then freeze that animal into human form using
water from a magical bucket called Chiisui-ton. Anyone or
anything cursed by a spring of Jusenkyo would be permanently
stuck in cursed form if splashed with water from that bucket.
Though the current Musk dynasty had abandoned the practice, the
magical artifact still remained. Magus, learning of the Chiisui-
ton, had been intrigued, and so, in exchange for a number of
magical favors, had borrowed the bucket for study. As it turned
out, the spell on the bucket had been a fairly simple one, and
easy to decipher (evidently it was much easier to cement the
curse than it was to cause it in the first place--Magus was still
uncertain how the Jusenkyo springs operated). It had been easy to
duplicate the spell, and he had cast it on a few glass vials.
   It was water from one of these vials that Magus poured onto
Shampoo's sleeping form. The obvious effect of this was the same
as any other time cold water had crossed Shampoo's path. The
sleeping girl swiftly contracted, limbs bending and reshaping as
she sprouted soft white and pink fur all over her body. Soon,
Shampoo was an adorable kitty, curled up and purring amidst her
pajamas and bedsheets. The less obvious effect was that she was
now that way to stay. No longer would warm water restore her to
her former self.Not even water from Kaisui-fu, the magical kettle
that served as a counteragent to the Chiisui-ton, would be of any
help. Magus had altered the spell from its original form. Now,
only he had the cure.
   Magus stalked out of the room, a smirk playing across his
lips. 'Probably best not to be here when she wakes up,' thought
Magus. Yes, Shampoo was surely going to have kittens when she
found out what had happened to her. But he had to hurry. Phase
two was far from complete.
* * * * * *
   The next phase of phase two, perhaps unsurprisingly, found
Magus at the Tendo property. As he had at the Neko Hanten, he was
dusting everyone with his sleeping powder, and confirming that
everyone in the house that had a choice was human (well, except
for Frog; but Magus's original enchantment had left Frog human
enough for his purposes tonight). There were only two cases that
he had to worry about. Genma typically slept in panda form, but
he slept so soundly that Magus wondered if there was any point in
dusting him at all. Eventually, he decided that it would be best
to leave nothing to chance.
   Although, chance had certainly been on his side that evening.
In addition to finding Mousse human and sleeping, he had
practically tripped over Ryoga, who had been sleeping in a pup
tent on the Tendo lawn. While Magus had known Ryoga was cursed
from the moment he laid eyes on the boy, he had only recently
discovered that Ryoga usually slept in pig form with Akane on the
nights that he was in town. Magus wondered if even Nabiki knew
this. She certainly hadn't mentioned it to him, but that could
merely mean that she'd been saving it to bargain with later.
Magus didn't bother to try to guess why Ryoga had chosen to sleep
outside that night, but it certainly made Magus's job a lot
easier.
   But back to more pressing concerns. Magus had no idea how
Robo's robotic body operated, but he knew that some machines had
devices for detecting intruders. Whether Robo had such devices on
his person to protect him while he slept, Magus had no idea. If
he did, they hadn't detected him while he subdued Ranma and his
father. Perhaps the robe Robo had taken to wearing muffled his
detection equipment. Another problem was that Robo slept on his
feet. Magus needed the robot to be human during phase three, and
that was going to be a problem. First, he would have to pour cold
water on him. Under the best of circumstances, that would tend to
wake even a deep sleeper, let alone a robot with a heightened
sense of touch. He had to get up close, too. If Magus doused him
from a distance, he'd turn into a standing, sleeping human.
Standing, sleeping humans generally became falling, sleeping
humans, and then angry, conscious humans.
   Magus formulated a plan. First, of course, he needed water.
Magus silently retrieved a cup full of cold water from the
bathroom in the hall. Back in Ranma, Genma, and Robo's room,
Magus stood in the doorway, water in one hand, sleeping powder in
the other. Magus braced himself, and then entered a sort of yoga-
like trance to prepare for shadowporting. Shadowporting had the
effect of rendering Magus's body intangible and undetectable
through any means save sight for a short period of time, usually
long enough to walk a few yards, or to prepare an attack. It was
a technique he had developed soon after being stranded in the
Middle Ages by Lavos. It had been a necessary step in earning the
respect and loyalty of the monsters he was one day to use to gain
access to the power he needed for his revenge against Lavos.
Generally he shadowported to get into more strategic positions
during a brawl, but it was a somewhat taxing procedure
physically, even if it put next to no drain on his magical
reservoir. Here, though, it would certainly be worth it. Magus
phased into his Shadowform and glided across the room and through
Robo, rematerializing behind his back. Wasting no time, Magus
dumped the water on Robo's head. He caught the damp, groggy,
awakening girl, and hastily eased her to the floor. Working
feverishly, he sprinkled his powder on her, and spoke the words
to return her to her slumber. Robo's eyes came dangerously close
to flickering open before her tensing body relaxed once more.
Magus sighed in relief.
   More at ease now, Magus sauntered over to where Ranma was
sleeping. 'What a fool,' Magus thought. 'He has power, true, but
when it comes to using that power to do anything but fight, he is
as naive as a child.' Why Ukyou would care so deeply for such a
simpleton was beyond the dark sorcerer's knowledge. But care she
did, and Magus intended to fulfill her happiness. With the whole
house magically asleep, Magus felt free to speak a few words
aloud to the sleeping boy, "You would come to thank me for this,
were I ever stupid enough to allow anyone to know what I have
done. You will be happy with Ukyou, and undoubtedly, she with
you. I envy you your happiness." With that, Magus casually doused
Ranma with water from one of his Chiisui-ton vials, locking her
permanently into female form. As a final step, Magus dipped his
finger into a tiny pot of red cream, and smeared a single red
line across Ranma's forehead, just below the bangs of her crimson
hair. The cream shimmered, and then was absorbed by Ranma's skin
without a trace. Magus stood, and gathered all of his magical
materials back into their pockets. It was time to begin phase
three.
* * * * * *
   The next morning, Ranma awoke, stretched, and realized that
she was a girl. For most men, this would probably lead to violent
hysteria. To Ranma, however, it was commonplace. She felt around
on her tank top and soon detected the tell-tale moisture that she
knew would be there. "Nabiki," she sighed. Usually Akane's
opportunistic sister had the decency to change her back to normal
once she had taken her 'candid' photos of Ranma's sleeping form.
The first time Nabiki had tried it, Ranma had awoken to find her
bedroll warm and damp. Ranma had been embarrassed, to say the
least. She had been relieved when she found out the truth, so
relieved that she hadn't even been angry at Nabiki. In
retrospect, however, she should have at least asked Nabiki for a
share of the profits she made by selling the photos to Kunou.
   A delicate snore caught her attention. Ranma turned her
attention to the source, and saw Robo, sprawled on the floor in
girl-form, half-buried in her white robe. Her, too? wondered
Ranma. Sure enough, Robo's blue hair looked damp, as was the
collar of her robe. What, had Kunou taken a fancy to her, too?
Ranma grinned in spite of herself. "I shall date thee ALL!" Yup,
Ranma could see that easily enough. Ranma gazed at the sleeping
girl appraisingly. She was pretty cute, Ranma conceded. At least
when she was asleep, and not decking Magus. Ranma shook her head.
Robo'd seemed almost like Akane for a moment there.
   "Hey, Robo!" Ranma called, prodding her.
   "Mrph," Robo replied, curling up in irritation.
   "Wake up!" Ranma insisted.
   "Will you let me sleep?" Robo finally protested, squinting at
Ranma through sleepy eyes. "Wait. What am I doing on the floor?"
Her eyes opened further. "And what am I doing in human form? I
did not go to sleep this way."
   "It was probably Nabiki," Ranma replied, earning a puzzled
look from Robo. Patiently, Ranma described, in length, the depths
to which Nabiki was capable of sinking.
   As Ranma spoke, Robo's irritation grew. By the time she had
finished, Robo was livid. "This is intolerable," she muttered. "I
must have been asleep for nine hours, thanks to her! Six hours
wasted! Six hours that I could have spent on other, more useful
activities-"
   "Like what?" Ranma asked, curious. As far as she knew, there
wasn't much to do in Nerima at 3 a.m.
   "That is not the point!" Robo floundered. Ranma wondered if
Robo even knew what her point was, or whether she was just ticked
off.
   "Come on!" Robo urged. "We must inform Nabiki of the
impropriety of her behavior!" Yup, definitely ticked off. Ranma
didn't think she had ever seen Robo this mad. Not that she had
much time to think, with Robo gripping her wrist like a vice and
half-dragging her out of the room.
* * * * * *
   In another part of town, Shampoo was awakening. She stretched
luxuriantly and yawned before curling up again on her warm bed.
'What a wonderful night's sleep,' she thought to herself. She
began to feel a deep seated rumble spread throughout her body. It
was coming from inside of her. Shampoo's slitted eyes popped open
in alarm, and soon narrowed again in irritation. She was purring.
'I must be in cat-form. Now, when could that have happened?'
   Oh, well. Her Great-Grandmother would be along soon enough to
open the door for her, and she would probably bring hot water
with her. She just hoped that Mousse wouldn't be around to
slobber all over her when she transformed.
   Just then, the door swung open. 'Speak of the devil,' thought
Shampoo. Mousse's hair was a mess, and his clothes were rumpled.
'He must have spent the night sleeping in front of my door
again,' Shampoo concluded. 'Fool.' As usual, Mousse had pushed
his glasses up onto the top of his head, and was squinting at the
room like the blind idiot he was. 'Oh, well, might as well make
the best of it,' thought Shampoo. She meowed softly, trying to
get the lovesick boy's attention.
   Mousse's eyes abruptly focused on a space not too distant from
Shampoo's actual location. "Oh, good morning, Shampoo," Mousse
called out cheerfully. Shampoo was surprised. Normally, Mousse
would have immediately been tripping all over himself trying to
help Shampoo change back to normal. Today, he seemed oddly calm.
"Did you get trapped in this room again?" he asked
sympathetically. Then, to Shampoo's utter shock, Mousse sat down
on the bed and began to pet her.
   Shampoo's fur rose. Just what did he think she was, a cat?
This was not like Mousse at all! Perhaps she had hit Mousse a
little too hard last night. Probably best to have Great-
Grandmother take a look at him. 'Not that I care for his health,
of course,' she thought hastily. It was just that she needed him
to do his share of the chores.
   Suddenly, to Shampoo's acute embarrassment, she found that her
fur had settled down again, and she was actually purring! The
petting felt wonderful, but she had no intention of allowing it
to continue. Still, relaxed as she was, Shampoo couldn't bring
herself to hiss at Mousse when she shook herself free.
   Mousse followed her out the door. "Would you like some
breakfast, kitty? I think we have some leftover fish for you."
Shampoo seethed. Leftover fish? This was getting very annoying.
Once she changed back, she was going to have a few choice words
to share with Mousse. Shampoo began to run, in an attempt to get
away from the irritating fellow. Mousse made no attempt to stop
her, and was soon out of sight.
   Once in the kitchen, Shampoo leapt up onto the counter near to
the sink. After a few moments of grappling with the hot water
faucet, she determined that she wouldn't be able to turn the
water on by herself. Mousse probably wasn't going to be any help,
and her Great-Grandmother was nowhere to be seen. Shampoo scanned
the room. There! On the stove, someone, probably her Great-
Grandmother, had started a kettle of water boiling. There was no
steam, so the water probably wasn't boiling yet. If she could
just-
   Strong hands closed around her small body. "Now, now, Shampoo.
You know that you're not allowed on the counter. What will the
customers think?" Mousse again. He lifted Shampoo off the
counter, and set her gently on the floor. Idiot! Deluded or not,
Shampoo was sorely tempted to bite him. Fortunately, she resisted
the urge. If Mousse was really distracted enough to think that
she was a cat, then attacking him would probably just get her
kicked out of the kitchen. Far better to change back first, and
then give Mousse a hefty piece of her mind. Shampoo leapt up to
the stove, and pulled the tea kettle down on top of herself.
   Ouch! The water wasn't boiling, but it wasn't cool either.
Shampoo screeched in spite of herself as the hot fluid splashed
over her. Now silent, Shampoo waited for the transformation to
take place. To her horror, absolutely nothing happened.
* * * * * *
   At the Tendo home, Nabiki lifted her eyebrows as Ranko
continued her frustrated screaming. Well, this had been quite a
morning. First, Robo had dragged Ranko down the stairs, ranting
about pictures and too much sleep. During Robo's tirade, Nabiki
had somehow managed to figure out that she was accusing her of
including her in the same sort of candid photography that she
practiced with Ranko and Akane. Unfortunately, she had had
absolutely no opportunity to inform Robo that she had the wrong
suspect. After a while, the irritated girl had stomped off to the
bathroom to change back into a robot. For some reason, Ranko had
followed. Nabiki had no idea why. After all, Robo knew where the
bathroom was, and was perfectly capable of operating a faucet by
herself. Mere minutes later, Ranko had begun screaming something
unintelligible at the top of her lungs.
   It wasn't long before Ranko returned to the breakfast table.
Looking very, very unhappy, Ranko blurted, "Dad, it's happened
again! I'm stuck in girl-form!"
   Nabiki froze, and narrowed her eyes. What on earth was Ranko
talking about? To her relief, no one else seemed to know what
Ranko was talking about either. She hated being the only one in
the dark.
   Soun Tendo threw a gaze to the giant panda sitting beside him.
"Saotome. What is your daughter talking about?"
   Genma immediately flipped up a sign that read, [Don't ask me;
I'm just a panda.]
   Now it was Ranko's turn to freeze. "Daughter? What're ya
talkin' about? I'm a guy!"
   'Well now,' thought Nabiki. 'This is getting better by the
minute.' Ranko had always been a devoted tomboy, but this was the
first time she had ever claimed to be an actual boy.
   "Um, are you all right, Ranko?" asked Akane.
   "Looks like you might've hit her a little too hard last night,
sis," said Nabiki.
   "Ranko?" asked Ranko, looking puzzled. Then she grinned. "Oh,
I get it. Is Auntie Saotome here?" Ranko put on a sickeningly
cute expression. Everyone else just continued staring at her.
   "Auntie Saotome?" asked Kasumi, looking desperately confused
(though no more confused than anyone else was feeling), "Who is
that, Ranko?"
   Now Ranko was starting to look seriously worried. "You know!
Mom! She's not here? What's wrong with everybody?"
   Looking concerned, Crono suggested that Ranko might want to
see a doctor. Ranko looked upset. "Look, there's nothin' wrong
with me, except that I can't change back to normal! I'm a guy!
What's goin' on here?"
   "Ranko, calm down-" Marle began.
   "I don't want to calm down!" Ranko interrupted, beginning to
sound hysterical. "And I'm not Ranko! I'm Ranma, and I'm a guy! A
guy!"
   Akane tried to put a helpful hand on the confused girl's
shoulder, "C'mon Ranko, I think you should see Dr. Tofu."
   Ranko tore free. "Lemme go, ya tomboy! I don't have time to
see a doctor! I've gotta find a way to change--urk!" Akane's
wooden mallet ended Ranko's strange ranting, for the moment
anyway.
   Akane looked very concerned. "Help me carry her." Marle
quickly stepped forward and joined Akane to support the stunned
Ranko as they directed her out the door. Nabiki followed. She,
more than anyone, was eager to see what all the hubbub was about.
* * * * * *
   By the time they had reached the good chiropractor's
workplace, Ranko had regained her senses. Unfortunately, her wits
remained totally off kilter, and she was screaming incessantly
for them to let her go so she could change back into a man. She
had to be strapped down to the operating table before Dr. Tofu
could even get close.
   The doctor's expert hands swiftly touched Ranko's body in
several key pressure-points, reducing Ranko to a wonderfully
quiet half-conscious state. As Ranko protested feebly, eyes half-
closed, the doctor took various measurements and performed
several tests. Finally, he turned to Akane and said, "I'm afraid
that I can't find anything wrong with her, physically. Her
temperature is fine. Her blood pressure is up, but that could be
due to her state of agitation. I can't really say more without a
more thorough physical examination, but Ranko seems to be a
perfectly healthy young woman."
   "I'm a man!" Ranko mumbled resentfully.
   Dr. Tofu continued, as though uninterrupted, "I would tend to
imagine that the problem is psychological--though it could have
been triggered by physical trauma." That last was directed at
Akane.
   "Hey, I haven't been hitting her any more than usual!" she
protested. Then she reconsidered. "Well, she did start acting a
little strange after I hit her last night. She was being
thoughtful and helpful while we were trying to figure out who-"
Abruptly, Akane's eyes narrowed, and she skewered Nabiki with a
glance. Marle's eyes, too, had flashed in the older girl's
direction. "Which reminds me, Nabiki. We have a few questions for
you when we get home."
   Nabiki felt vaguely uneasy. She had no idea what her sister
was talking about. However, she hadn't done anything out of the
ordinary lately, and wasn't particularly worried. "You don't
say," she uttered dryly.
   Dr. Tofu, more interested in Akane's recollection than in her
household politics, remarked, "It could well be that Ranko's odd
behavior yesterday is related to the delusion she is under today,
but not necessarily. She's always been a rather extreme tomboy."
   Akane nodded vehemently. "I've never figured out where SHE
gets off calling ME a tomboy!" Suddenly, Akane realized what the
doctor was getting at. "Hey, is this anything like the time Ranko
hit her head and started acting all sweet and nice?"
   Dr. Tofu beamed. "Exactly! Here's my theory: when you hit
Ranko yesterday, she started to return to that nice, sweet girl
persona. Then, for whatever reason, Ranko rebelled against that
and swung completely over into the opposite extreme. So, now she
thinks that she is a man, rather than just a tomboy."
   Akane looked thoughtful. "So, what do we do? Hit her on the
head again?" Akane distractedly lifted her mallet into the air,
causing a wide-eyed Ranko to twitch within her confinement.
   "No, not yet," said the doctor. "This is a slightly different
situation, so I'd advise you to wait a few days. See if she
recovers on her own." Dr. Tofu threw a glance at Ranko and then
leaned forward to whisper to Akane. "Then you can think about
trying to knock some sense back into her." The doctor
straightened again. "For now, I'll just hit a few pressure-points
to keep Ranko calm for an hour or two. Hopefully, by that time
she'll be over her hysteria, at least." Dr. Tofu's skilled
fingers worked their magic again, and Ranko was fully conscious
and back on her feet. It was amazing what a chiropractor of
Tofu's calibre could do. Ranko still looked unhappy, but she
wasn't raving like a lunatic anymore.
   With her thought processes no longer a tangled mess, Ranma was
finally able to think over what had happened. She knew that she
was not Ranko. That was just a name she assumed when her mother
came to visit, to prevent the woman from discovering that her
only son had become a daughter. Her name was Ranma, and until
today had been cursed to change from male to female form when
splashed with cold water. But today, she was unable to change
back again. That had happened on a few occasions before.
Practically the day Ranma had met the old woman, Cologne had
inflicted a pressure-point technique on her that made her unable
to touch warm water. On another occasion, Ranma had been frozen
into girl form by water from the magical bucket Chiisui-ton.
Today was different. Now, everyone seemed to think that she had
always been a girl. No one seemed to know about his curse.
Something weird was going on.
* * * * * *
   Shampoo strained futilely against the chains wrapped tightly
around her feline body. It was her own fault, really. She had
definitely overreacted when the pot of hot water failed to return
her to her proper form. Screeching and hissing and scratching and
clawing, it was no wonder that Mousse had thought her fit to be
tied. The boy had then run off to find Great-Grandmother, which
suited Shampoo just fine. Great-Grandmother would be able to
help. She was very wise. She would know what was wrong with her,
and what was wrong with Mousse.
   Meanwhile, Shampoo was uncomfortably immobile. The skin under
her fur felt swollen and puffy where the hot water had scalded
it, and her fur was wet and matted all over. Shampoo loved to
take showers, but absolutely hated water as a cat. It was a trait
she shared with most cats, she supposed. That fact brought her
little comfort.
   Footsteps approached. "Hmm, why did you tie her down, Mousse?"
asked the familiar voice of Great-Grandmother. Shampoo's kitty
heart leapt in her chest with relief.
   "I'm sorry, Great-Granny. She went crazy, and I was afraid
she'd hurt herself," Mousse replied.
   "No matter." Shampoo felt the chains encircling her body
loosen. She stretched luxuriantly, ignoring the soreness of her
skin, and turned a quizzical glance on Great-Grandmother.
   To her slight annoyance, Great-Grandmother carefully touched
Shampoo at various points along her sleek feline form, apparently
checking for injuries. 'I'm fine, Great-Grandmother,' Shampoo
thought angrily. 'Just help me to change back, will you?' To
emphasize her impatience, Shampoo meowed loudly.
   "You say she dragged a pot of hot water over herself? Probably
just some minor burns then. She'll be fine in no time at all. As
for her 'crazy' behavior, I'd say that was probably normal
behavior for a cat who had just been doused with scalding water,
wouldn't you?" Shampoo couldn't believe her ears. Unless this was
some sort of elaborate test, Great-Grandmother seemed to be under
the same spell as Mousse! Shampoo meowed again, a little
desperately this time. No one paid any attention.
   Mousse nodded, a bit sheepishly. "I suppose I'd have been
pretty upset myself. Still, I'm glad she's all right."
   Cologne smiled, a somewhat ghastly expression on her shriveled
old face. "I know how fond you are of Shampoo, but I wouldn't
worry too much. And speaking of fondness for females, how are you
getting along with Lucca?"
   To Shampoo's horror, Mousse grinned broadly, his eyes taking
on the same sort of star-struck look they normally reserved only
for her. "Oh, she's wonderful! She's so sweet, and smart, and
clever, and she really likes me! I think I'll ask her out
tonight!"
   Shampoo felt a strange twisting sensation in her gut. She was
utterly dismayed, but why? It couldn't be jealousy, could it?
Shampoo had always dreamed of getting rid of Mousse! She'd been
so happy when Lucca had arrived to distract her unwanted admirer,
hadn't she?
   Perhaps. But could it be possible that she had only thought
she was happy, secure in the knowledge that no woman would ever
truly turn Mousse away from her? But now, now Mousse seemed to
see her as nothing more than a pet. Now there was nothing to stop
Mousse from finding a more welcoming companion, and he had found
one in Lucca.
   Suddenly, Shampoo felt very lonely. Since she had been a young
girl, Mousse had always been with her, pestering her, doting on
her. Shampoo had managed to lose him for a while when she made
her first attempt to track down and kill the red-headed girl who
had made a fool of her in her own home village. Shampoo had found
her, but had also found love, love in the form of Ranma Saotome,
the only man who had ever been able to defeat her in combat.
Shampoo had been utterly heartbroken when she learned that the
two were one and the same. The trek home had been a long and
lonely one, and Shampoo had found herself wishing for even Mousse
to keep her company. The desire had seemed strange then, but now
it seemed more sensible. Shampoo felt bruised, discarded,
undesirable. She wanted Mousse to want her again!
   Shampoo voiced her anguish with a plaintive meow. This time,
she caught Great-Grandmother's attention. "Mousse, perhaps you
should let Shampoo outside. She may wish to find some secluded
area in which to lick her wounds." Before Shampoo could protest,
Mousse had picked her up and carried her outside. The door closed
behind her as Mousse stepped back inside. The sky looked cloudy,
and threatened rain. Shampoo was on her own. Or was she?
   Ranma! Of course! He would be able to help. He could overcome
any challenge put to him (except, possibly, the challenge to
choose a wife from among his many fiancees). Shampoo
optimistically began to run across town to the Tendo home,
conveniently forgetting the one big reason that this was a bad
idea.
   Shampoo leapt up onto the Tendo fence. There was Ranma sitting
cross-legged on the ground in the middle of the yard, apparently
sulking. She was in girl-form, at the moment. Shampoo dashed
across the yard to her, and began to rub lovingly against her
leg.
   Ranma chose that moment to remind Shampoo of the main reason
her hope was doomed. "A-A C-C-CAT!!!!" She screamed, leaping to
her feet and running blindly. The terrified girl slammed into the
side of the house, knocking herself out cold. Shampoo felt rather
sheepish.
   A few seconds later, Kasumi and Nabiki walked out of the
house. Kasumi turned a mildly stern gaze onto Shampoo and said.
"Naughty kitty! You know that you aren't supposed to be here. You
frighten poor Ranko. Now, shoo! Shoo!"
   Nabiki sighed with amusement. "Of all the people in Nerima, I
wonder why that stupid cat took a liking to the one person with a
pathological fear of felines. Oh, well, no accounting for taste."
Kasumi and Nabiki gently, but firmly, evicted Shampoo from the
Tendo property.
   Shampoo was too stunned to resist. Nabiki and Kasumi evidently
also thought she was just a cat. If they did and Mousse and
Great-Grandmother did, who was to say that anyone else would
remember Shampoo's true identity? Why should Ranma remember? Rain
began to fall from the sky, lightly at first, but soon by the
bucketful. Shampoo felt more lonely than she ever had before.
   On the wet sidewalk just outside of the Tendo property, a
soggy kitty began to howl with grief. But no one cared.

Chapter 15: Mark Time

   Nabiki couldn't believe what she was hearing. She narrowed her
eyes and said, "Let me get this straight. You're accusing me of
using the time machine to obtain fabulous wealth, and then
sabotaging it so that no one would be able to prevent me from
using it to travel to the past to live out my days in unspeakable
luxury?" Nabiki rolled her eyes as five heads solemnly nodded.
"Well Ranko I could understand. She hasn't exactly been playing
with a full deck lately." Ranko scowled at Nabiki for that. "But
you can't honestly believe that anyone else would buy this insane
theory of yours?"
   As if on cue, Nabiki's father ran into the room, weeping. "Oh,
the tragedy! My own flesh and blood, a traitor to humanity!
Nabiki, how could you!"
   "Calm down, Dad!" Akane sighed. "We don't know for sure that
she did it. I mean, this would be a little low, even for Nabiki."
   Tears flowing freely down his face, which was itself a mask of
purest agony, Soun sobbed, "We can't...take that chance. Nabiki!
Until this is sorted out, you are not to leave this house."
   "But Daddy-"
   "I'm sorry, Nabiki," Soun whimpered. "This is hurting me more
than it hurts you."
   "I don't believe this!" Nabiki, beginning to realize that her
friends and father were serious, turned a desperate gaze onto
Lucca. "Lucca, not you, too?"
   Lucca nodded, not quite able to meet Nabiki's eyes. "It's only
for a while. I don't think you did it, but this is too important
to risk anything. I'm sorry."
   Abruptly, Nabiki seemed to calm down. "Okay, then! You can
count on me!"
   This did little to assuage the suspicions of her inquisitors.
"What's the trick, Nabiki?" Ranko asked, eyes narrowed.
   "A trick? Moi? Surely you must be joking. I've just realized
that this is all for the best, and you're all looking out for the
interests of humankind."
   "Riiight," said Ranko, but didn't protest further. Of course,
she had a right to be suspicious. Nabiki had no intention of
obeying this preposterous house arrest. She knew she was not
guilty of the crimes she had been accused, but she did intend to
find out who was. But by playing along for now, she might avoid
ending up locked away where her investigations would be useless.
   Speaking of investigations, Nabiki had a good idea where to
start. Nabiki had no idea what motives he might have had for
committing the crimes she was accused of, but Magus was the
shadiest character in Nerima next to herself. And Nabiki had an
edge on that angle. As far as the others knew, Magus had vanished
into thin air days ago, but Nabiki knew that he was still in
town. She wasn't sure where he was staying, or how he was hiding
himself, but she did know of one other person who had seen Magus
lately.
   Fortunately, Nabiki's inquisitors were not so mistrustful as
to assign her a guard. The moment she was alone again, Nabiki
headed for her room. She picked up her phone and tapped in a
number. A few rings later, a wimpy, pathetic voice answered,
"Gosunkugi residence. Hikaru speaking."
   "Hey, Gos, Nabiki here."
   Suspicion edged the boy's voice. "Yes? What do you want?"
   "Calm down. I just want some information-"
   "I should have known!" Gosunkugi ranted. "Every time I deal
with you it comes back to haunt me."
   "Now, now," Nabiki soothed. "I'm a friend, remember? I
introduced you to a real black sorcerer--free of charge--and now
you reward me with these baseless accusations? I'm hurt." This
wasn't entirely true. Nabiki had been paid for introducing Magus
to Gosunkugi, just not by Gosunkugi. Magus had promised and
delivered the names of several brands of fertilizer that Dark
Fruit tended to thrive on, in exchange for the names of everyone
in town who might have some access to magical materials. Other
than Cologne, Gosunkugi seemed the best possibility. He was a
miserable failure of a warlock, but he had accumulated a huge
collection of spell components for his experiments. Nabiki
continued, "Besides, I just want to know where he is, that's
all."
   Gosunkugi hardly seemed soothed. "I don't know where he is,"
he snapped.
   Nabiki's eyes narrowed. Sweetly, she responded, "C'mon,
Hikaru, tell the truth. You know how I upset I get when people
lie. I just might accidentally let Akane in on your little
secret, hmmm?"
   "What?" Gosunkugi's voice squeaked. "You know about the
memory-altering spell Magus and I were working on to make Akane
like me? How did you find out?" Nabiki almost laughed out loud.
Gosunkugi was so easy to manipulate it was absolutely pathetic.
Nabiki had, of course, known nothing of what Gosunkugi and Magus
were doing together. Gosunkugi continued babbling, "No, don't
tell me how you found out. I don't really want to know. But
believe me, I don't know where he is! I don't even know if the
spell worked! I blacked out before it was done, and Magus was
gone. I haven't seen him since. Please don't tell Akane!"
   "I'll think about it," Nabiki responded. "'Bye, now!" Before
Gosunkugi could protest, plead, or grovel further, Nabiki hung
up. Keep 'em sweating. A good rule to remember in any bargaining
situation.
   All in all, Nabiki was disappointed. She had hoped that
Gosunkugi would know more about where Magus was hiding. Still,
the news she had gotten was interesting. A memory-altering spell?
Nabiki was starting to get a feel for the type of man Magus was,
and she knew that he probably didn't care one bit about
Gosunkugi's crush on Akane. He would have used Gosunkugi to get
whatever he wanted, and then discarded him without a second
thought. This spell, then, would seem to have been his goal. But
what would he have used it for? Something for Ukyou, probably. He
seemed to have a soft spot for her.
   Then Nabiki had another thought. 'Has anyone been acting oddly
lately, like their memory has been changed? Of course. Ranko. She
thinks she's really a boy. But why? Revenge? I know that the two
of them didn't exactly hit it off, but this seems like a rather
petty way of getting back at her. There has to be more. And where
does the Epoch fit into all this?' Nabiki shook her head. She
needed more information before she stood a chance of solving this
particular mystery.
* * * * * *
   Kasumi was washing dishes when a knock came from the front
door. She paused a moment to see if anyone else would answer it.
The knocking came again. Kasumi sighed, and wiped her hands on a
towel. A few strides brought the girl to the front door. She
opened it to find a marching band of no fewer than fifty members
on the other side, dressed smartly in uniforms of blue and red.
She blinked. The marching band was still there, standing on a
lawn still wet from the brief, but heavy, downpour of a few hours
before. The director was standing directly in front of her. "May
I help you?" Kasumi asked kindly.
   The director gazed at the girl with cold, slate-grey eyes set
in a harsh, angular face. "Is this the home of Soun Tendo, owner
of the Anything-Goes Martial Arts Dojo?"
   "Why, yes, it is." Kasumi studied the man before her. 'He
seems like a nice enough fellow,' Kasumi thought, 'though perhaps
not as nice as many of the people I know.' For Kasumi, a thought
like that was tantamount to open dislike. Whoever this visitor
was, Kasumi had come as close to hating him on sight as it was
possible for her to come.
   "I'd like to speak with him," the man continued.
"Immediately."
   "I'll fetch him. Father!" Kasumi called, turning around. She
spotted him sitting at the Shogi board with Genma, the latter in
panda form.
   Without taking his eyes from the board, Soun answered, "What
is it, Kasumi?"
   "Father, there's a marching band on the front lawn, and the
director wants to talk to you."
   Soun's head turned, and Genma's paws moved like lightning,
rearranging pieces on the board far faster than the eye could
follow. Suddenly, Soun was at a clear strategic disadvantage.
Soun didn't even notice. He was already striding toward the door.
"A marching band, you say?" Kasumi stepped back, and Soun looked
outside. The band was still there, standing at attention. The
director was gazing at him with cold contempt. Unlike Kasumi,
Soun had the ability to dislike a man on sight, and Soun could
tell at a glance that this man was not one he'd come to like.
   Nevertheless, Soun smiled warmly and said, "I'm Soun Tendo. We
don't get many marching bands around here. What can I do for
you?"
   "You can get out," the director responded. "We require your
Dojo for a base of operations."
   Soun's eyes narrowed. "Who do you think you are? You can't
just-"
   Soun was cut off by an unexpected kick to the midsection. The
kick sent him flying backwards onto the floor. As he lay wheezing
on the floor, the director said, "I am Major Antonov
Liedowitschiovski Zielioskowitz, supreme director of the
Kielowitz International Martial Arts Marching Band. You may refer
to me as the Director. And I do as I please. Now, you have a
choice: Leave, or be removed."
   By this time, Kasumi had decided that their visitors just
might not be friendly. Unhurriedly, she walked upstairs to warn
the others. The Director, if he even noticed her, paid no
attention.
   Disturbed by the commotion, Genma trundled forth to
investigate. At the sight of Soun sprawled on the floor, a low
growl began in his throat. The Director barely spared him a
glance. "Your pet panda won't save you, Soun. I'm more than a
match for any dumb animal. I suggest that you surrender."
   Genma charged, and the Director lazily threw a punch. To his
mild surprise, the panda easily evaded it, cuffing the man
backwards with a powerful swing of his own. The Director picked
himself off of the ground, and glared hatefully at Soun, who had
stepped out onto the porch, Genma at his side. "Impressive," he
snapped scornfully. "But even with a fighting panda at your side,
fifty to two are not good odds."
   "How 'bout fifty to ten?" called out a new voice. It was
Ranko. She, Akane, Ryoga, Crono, Lucca, Marle, Robo, and Frog had
come to stand behind Genma and Soun.
   "I know it hardly seems fair," smirked Ryoga, cracking his
knuckles, "but we'll try to go easy on you."
   The Director stood arrow straight, narrowing his eyes at the
new development. He was no fool. He had researched thoroughly
before deciding the martial artists of the Tendo Dojo to be the
greatest threat to his plans. Ranko and Akane, he knew, had
overcome every danger yet presented to Soun's Dojo, and were
probably the greatest threat. As for the one who had cracked his
knuckles...the Director blinked in surprise. It was Ryoga Hibiki,
the most infamous character in Kielowitz history! What Ryoga had
been doing in Kielowitz the Director had never been able to
determine, but the infuriating fellow had overcome every effort
made by the Kielowitz military to detain him. He, too, was a
formidable fighter. The rest of the fighters before him were
unfamiliar. Many bore weapons, but the Director was confident in
the ability of his minions to overwhelm them. He sneered at Soun
and said, "Very well. I had hoped to avoid the messiness of
direct combat, but my band could use the practice." He turned to
his band. "Section leader Blattislov! Section leader Noranov!
Section leader Troffimov! Attention!"
   Three members of the band stepped forward. Blattislov was a
squat, bulky man whose beady eyes glared out from a puffy face.
He carried a bass drum nearly as large as he was. Noranov was a
tall, willowy woman with the same sort of slate grey eyes
possessed by her Director. She carried her trombone with the same
leisurely grace one might expect to see in a hunting panther.
Troffimov, for his part, bore a tenor saxophone. He was almost as
tall as Noranov, but somewhat more muscular. A huge, awkward-
looking red moustache was spread across his face under his
blotchy red nose. His eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses.
   The Director barked some more commands. "Section leader
Blattislov! Drum solo! Target: Akane Tendo. Section leader
Noranov! Trombone solo! Target: Ryoga Hibiki! Section leader
Troffimov! Saxophone solo! Target: Ranko Saotome! Second, third,
and fourth chair trumpets! Converge on primary target: Soun
Tendo. Everyone else, choose your targets at will." With each
command, the Director had swung an ivory director's baton in a
complex pattern, apparently providing additional commands in a
more subtle coded manner (as well as pointing out each target as
he or she was named). "Kielowitz International Martial Arts
Marching Band, you may take the field in competition. Begin!"
   Ryoga was the first to engage in combat. He remembered seeing
the Kielowitz banner once before. He strained his mind, trying to
remember where that tiny country had been. Somewhere between
Zimbabwe and Ontario, of that he was certain. The officials there
had seemed pushy and rude, and he had been eager to leave.
Judging by the infantry, tanks, and light armor he had left in
ruins, they had been just as eager to keep him there. This was
the first he had seen of any marching band, though. Not that it
mattered. He wasn't going to stand aside and let them march into
Akane's home! Ryoga charged at the young woman the Director had
named Noranov, drawing his umbrella as he ran. Noranov seemed
pretty confident, but didn't look very tough. She wasn't nearly
as muscular as Ryoga, and whatever anyone else might say, raw
power was a major factor in a fight, especially when one
possessed the raw power of Ryoga Hibiki.
   "So, this is the great Ryoga Hibiki," Noranov grinned. "I'm
not impressed. Well, c'mon, let's see what you're made of." Ryoga
swung his umbrella at his opponent's head. The blow was aimed to
knock the opponent silly, rather than cause any permanent harm.
It was Ryoga's hope to finish this fight quickly, so that he
would be able to help Akane deal with that drummer.
Unfortunately, as even Ryoga might have guessed, the fight was
not to be won that easily. With a clang of bamboo on metal,
Noranov casually blocked Ryoga's umbrella with the edge of her
horn. She then gasped, eyes widening as the umbrella's momentum
pushed her back a few feet. She had learned an important lesson:
Ryoga's umbrella was not a weapon to be blocked casually.
Whatever the thing was made of, few were capable of lifting
Ryoga's umbrella, let alone fighting with it, let alone swinging
it with the careful precision Ryoga displayed. Noranov smiled
slightly. Ryoga might have mass, but a nice way to counter mass
was with velocity. "Brute force will never prevail against a
master of Trombitsu," she admonished Ryoga with a grin. Noranov
began to spin her instrument like a baton, faster and faster,
until the trombone was a mere blur. Like lightning, she lashed
out at her target. Ryoga was barely able to block in time, and in
doing so was pushed back himself. 'Ha, this is going to be easy,'
thought the grinning trombonist. Soon, the steady, rhythmic (and
yet, rather absurd) sound of umbrella clashing against trombone
filled the air.
   As Ryoga engaged his opponent, Ranma carefully eyed the two
remaining "soloists", who were purposefully advancing on Akane
and herself. She called out to Akane, "Stay back, Akane! I can
take 'em."
   Akane was irritated. "Ranko, how many times do I have to tell
you..." Akane put her mouth up to Ranma's ear. "I CAN FIGHT,
TOO!!!" she screamed. With that, she jumped away from a stunned
Ranma and prepared to charge Blattislov.
   Ranma was irritated. "Stupid tomboy," she muttered darkly,
trying to ignore the fierce ringing in her ears. "Just don't want
her to get hurt, that's all. It's my responsibility as her
fiancee-" Suddenly she stopped, her face taking on a pained
expression. Fiancee. It was a topic she had yet to take up with
Akane. Had she forgotten that Ranma was her fiancee? Though it
hurt Ranma to the core of her being, she suspected that yes, she
had forgotten. But as long as Ranma didn't ask, she could pretend
that that, at least, was still sacred. Ranma's world was in a
shambles, but she clung to every piece with a desperate tenacity.
None of that mattered now. Whatever her gender, Ranma could still
fight, and that was what was called for now.
   Ranma turned to his opponent and assumed a wary fighting
stance. "Well, c'mon, ya horn-playin' jerk! What're ya waitin'
for!"
   Troffimov began to swagger forward. "A mere slip of a girl is
no match for the Terrible Troffimov, student of the formidable
school of Saxophone Tai Chi," he sneered around his moustache.
   Ranma's face heated with anger. "I'm a MAN!" she snarled,
charging at the saxophonist, fist flying. Ranma fist found its
mark--with a clang? Glancing downwards, Ranma could see that
Troffimov had blocked her punch with his saxophone. Specifically,
the bell of the saxophone. Ranma's hand was now thoroughly wedged
in the bell. Ranma grunted, as she attempted to pull her fist
free.
   Troffimov seemed oblivious to Ranma's attempts to free
herself, and was examining Ranma thoughtfully. "Hmmm, a man, you
say? Well if you're not a woman," he paused, and poked at Ranma's
chest for emphasis, "then you are an amazing facsimile."
   "You pervert!" Ranma shrieked, swinging wildly with her other
fist. Ranma, it seemed, was not at her best that day.
   Troffimov caught the fist with his free hand. "Now, now," he
tsked. "Name-calling is a childish way to fight. Allow me to
demonstrate a finer method." Troffimov released Ranma's second
fist, and unleashed a flurry of kicks and punches. Ranma tried to
dodge. She was more than fast enough to do so, but Troffimov
constantly jerked Ranma off balance by her trapped arm. As a
result, Ranma took a nasty beating. Finally, though, Ranma was
able to fall backwards, pulling Troffimov with her. She hooked
the saxophonist with a leg and threw him over her head. With a
distinct pop, and the unpleasant sensation that her arm had been
ripped out of its socket, Ranma's hand popped free.
   Ranma stood and rubbed her sore shoulder, ignoring, for the
moment, the many other cuts and bruises Troffimov had just
granted her. 'Not a great start,' Ranma thought ruefully. 'Still,
if I can avoid getting trapped again, I should be able to handle
him.'
   Troffimov had landed badly, but was back on his feet. He had
taken a new grip on his saxophone, and was now holding it like a
sickle. Another quick glance revealed that the inside curvature
of the saxophone was, in fact, edged like a sickle. 'I should be
able to handle him, IF he doesn't have too many more surprises up
his sleeves,' Ranma amended grimly. She and Troffimov began their
duel in earnest.
   Akane, for her part, was becoming very frustrated. Every time
she tried to get close to Blattislov, the drummer would turn,
constantly keeping his huge drum between them, thwarting her
every attack. Blattislov, however, was free to fling his two
large, heavy drum mallets at Akane. They would strike with the
force of a punch, and then ricochet back into the waiting
drummer's hands. Akane had taken many hits, and was bleeding from
the corner of her mouth where her lip had been split by a nasty
blow to the face. Akane knew that she had to do something. At the
rate she was going, Akane was going to lose without ever throwing
a punch. She had tried every way she could think of to get around
Blattislov's drum...but what about over it? Grinning, Akane
grabbed the ridged front of the bass drum, and began to climb.
   Blattislov buckled for a moment under the added weight, his
beady eyes narrowing. "Stupid girl. It takes more than that to
overcome a fighter skilled in the arts of Drum-Fu." Blattislov
began to somersault forward. Akane, still clinging to the front
of the drum, found herself on the ground again, this time with a
drum and drummer beginning to roll over her. Her legs were
already painfully pinned. Fortunately, Blattislov's forward
momentum gave Akane the leverage she needed to lift Blattislov,
drum and all, into the air. Akane, though not nearly as strong as
Ryoga, was certainly capable of that much. With a grunt, Akane
heaved the drummer aside, where he landed in an awkward heap. She
took the momentary respite to stand again. Her legs were numb,
and just starting to throb with pain, but she felt confident she
could manage. At least she hoped she could manage. Blattislov
returned to the fight, a bit warier, but no less determined.
   Soun and Genma were holding nine trumpeters at bay. It was
fortunate for the two of them that none of the trumpeters fought
with the skill exhibited by the three soloists. But nine to two
were not good odds, especially when the two were constantly
thrown off guard by the unfamiliar fighting style they faced. The
stances the musicians assumed while attacking and blocking with
their trumpets were bizarre, to say the least. That the trumpets
were each tipped by an eight-inch bayonet-like blade did not help
matters one iota.
   Crono and his merry band were fighting with varying degrees of
success. Their opponents were not fighting with lethal force, and
so neither were they. This was awkward at times. A crossbow is
not a weapon suited to hand-to-hand combat, and so Marle was
forced to use it more or less as a bludgeon. Lucca had opted for
a heavy, long-handled hammer (evidently one of her tools), and
was cheerfully bashing her way through her opponents. Crono was
easily holding his own, parrying instrumental attacks with
careful swings and parries, but Frog was truly a wonder. The keen
edge of the Masamune sliced through instrument after instrument
like a knife through butter, Frog's expert skill leaving every
musician unscratched. In most cases, the loss of instrument
caused the holder to flee. Evidently, few members of the
Kielowitz International Martial Arts Marching Band could fight
without their instruments. Of Crono's friends, only Robo had been
defeated. Robo had been in human form when the fight began, and
now lay unconscious on the ground. Though she was learning fast,
her martial arts training had not yet prepared her for a fight
like this.
   Regrettably, the Director had apparently decided that enough
was enough. Raising his baton, he shouted, "Kielowitz
International Marching Band! Attention!" Abruptly, every
conscious member of the band froze and stood tall. The sudden
loss of fighting partners threw the defending martial artists
totally off balance for a moment. They merely stood, confused, as
the Director continued, "Prepare for the Kielowitz Ultimate
Harmonic Strike: Dischord! Horns up!" Every remaining instrument
was lifted into position. "Play!"
   An odd sort of music filled the air. It somehow seemed
beautiful, soothing. Yet, the tune seemed somehow tainted. A
jarring undercurrent rode on that lovely song. The undercurrent
seemed to grab each of the marching band's opponents by the gut.
Ranma could feel the tainted song growing stronger and stronger,
more and more painful. Her head began to throb, and she managed
to scream before darkness overwhelmed her.
* * * * * *
   From her own vantage point from her room's window, Nabiki
watched the scene below her in fascination. She, too, had heard
the marching band's harmonic strike, yet was apparently
unaffected--most likely because she was not at ground zero. Those
who had been, however, were now unconscious and airborne, their
bodies tossed like rag dolls away from the Tendo home in every
direction. Nabiki sighed and fingered the spearhead hanging from
her neck. 'Looks like Ranma and company have lost this round,'
she thought. Tiredly, she turned to her sister, who had been
watching the battle with her. Kasumi's eyes were wide. "C'mon,
Kasumi. Look's like we'll be eating out tonight."
   "Oh, my."

Chapter 16: Passing Time

   Gradually, light returned to Ranma's world. She could feel
concrete beneath her, and her nose registered a sort of damp,
sour smell. An alley smell. Opening her eyes, she could see
featureless buildings towering on either side of her, as well as
an old wooden fence behind her. A moment's recollection reminded
her why she was lying on her back in one of Nerima's many
alleyways. She had been blasted there by the same musical attack
that had stripped her of consciousness.
   Groaning, she began to sit up. She found her efforts hindered
by some sort of weight atop her. It was Akane. Ranma panicked
momentarily, fearing that Akane might be seriously hurt.
Fortunately, a quick scan revealed that Akane was uninjured,
aside from a few cuts and bruises. She was sleeping peacefully.
   Ranma gazed at her tenderly for a moment. Akane looked so
innocent while sleeping. Ranma loved to see her this way. Oh,
even when she was violent, angry, and tomboyish, she had her
appeal (though Ranma would never admit that, even to herself).
But Akane smiling, Akane thoughtful, Akane peaceful; these were
the moments Ranma had come to live for. The moment passed, and
Ranma decided to wake her. "Akane!" she prompted softly, gently
shaking her.
   Almost immediately, Akane's eyes popped open. "Wha- Ranko!
What happened? Where are we?"
   Wincing slightly at the name 'Ranko', Ranma responded, "We're
in an alley somewhere. That stupid band hit us with some powerful
technique or something. The others must've landed somewhere
else."
   Akane stood and helped Ranma to her feet. "We should find
them. We can't just let those bullies have our home!"
   Ranma nodded. Then her face fell. "But they could be
anywhere," she responded.
   "They'll probably try to find their way to someplace where
we'd be likely to meet them," decided Akane. "Probably not the
dojo. Chances are they either went to Ucchan's or the Neko
Hanten. Let's try to figure out where we are, and then go
wherever's closer."
   Emerging from the alleyway, the two of them discovered that
they had only been thrown a short distance. The street they were
on was familiar. It was the route that the two of them had often
taken to get to school.
   They each walked in silence, contemplating the battle they had
just lost. Individually, at least some of the band members were
top-notch fighters. Ranma was certain that she could defeat any
of them one-on-one, but was uncertain whether she could do it
fast enough to avoid getting cut down by the others using that
'Dischord' attack. More importantly, she needed some way to
counter that attack. There had to be something-
   Splash. Abruptly Ranma found herself soaked by cold water.
Slowly she turned. There, predictably stood a withered old lady,
obliviously ladling water from a bucket. A thought struck Ranma,
and the absurdity of it hit her like a fist. Ranma began to
laugh, and found that she couldn't stop.
   Akane's head jerked around at the haunting, ghastly sound of
Ranko's laughter. Ranko was standing in a puddle of water,
sopping wet and pointing at the little old woman Akane remembered
seeing often on their trips to school. "Ranko?-" she tentatively
began.
   "HA! It didn't work, you see!" Ranko babbled at the elderly
lady between saw-edged bouts of hilarity. "You couldn't change
me, 'cause I'm not a man anymore!" The old woman was apparently
ignoring her.
   "I'm not a man anymore!" Ranko choked out again. Akane noted
with some concern that it was becoming difficult to tell whether
Ranko was laughing or sobbing. Akane set her jaw determinedly.
'That settles it. Ranko's not getting any better. I'd better take
Dr. Tofu's advice and hit her. It's for her own good.' Akane
grasped her mallet firmly, and prepared to swing it.
   Suddenly, Akane found that Ranko had grabbed her and forced
her against the wall of a home. "R-ranko?-" Akane began again,
mallet slipping from loosened fingers.
   "Please, Akane," Ranko was saying, eyes boring into Akane's
with feverish intensity. "Please don't marry Kunou, or Ryoga, or
Gosunkugi, or anyone else. I'll find some way to fix this! I just
need time!"
   "Wha-? Marry who? Ranko, I-"
   "Please Akane! I don't want to lose you! You're my fiancee-"
abruptly, Ranko's eyes widened in horror at what she had just
said. Akane's had as well.
   "Fiancee? Ranko I'm not-"
   "NO!" Ranko shouted, almost hysterically. "Don't say it! Don't
say anything! I love you! I can't bear to be without you."
Akane's incredulous stare served to force Ranko to realize what
she had just said. With a desperate moan, Ranko released Akane
and began to run away from her.
   Akane shook herself out of the horrified stupor Ranko's
announcements had instilled in her. "Ranko, wait!" she shouted,
beginning to pursue. Her efforts were in vain, however. Leaping
from fence to rooftop, Ranko was soon out of sight.
   Slowly, Akane halted, her mind spinning. Ranko...was in love
with her? But that would mean Ranko was...was... And yet,
somehow, in some bizarre way, some part of Akane almost welcomed
the sentiment. Something deep within her remembered waiting,
hoping for the day that Ranma would finally admit-
   'Who is Ranma?' a voice whispered compellingly. 'There is no
Ranma, only Ranko.' Akane shook her head. No, that wasn't right.
Ranma was-
   'There is no Ranma, only Ranko,' the voice insisted. Akane
grasped at her memories. She was certain she had been about to
remember something important. Where had she heard that name
before? She didn't know any Ranma. Only Ranko. And Ranko needed
help. Even if she was a...a... Even if she did l-love... She
still needed help. She was obviously not in a state of perfect
mental health.
* * * * * *
   In another part of town, Ranma was leaning against an alley
wall, sobbing freely. 'Sobbing like a little girl,' she tried to
admonish herself. It didn't work. The tears merely kept flowing.
She had made an utter fool of herself in front of Akane. 'Akane
must think that I'm some kind of pervert,' she thought bitterly.
'Or worse.'
   Suddenly, Ranma felt an uncomfortable and regrettably familiar
pressure clamp down on her chest. With a twisting feeling in her
gut, Ranma's anguish was entirely converted into fury. Ranma
gazed downwards to where Happosai was nestled cozily within her
ample bosom. The tiny, withered old master martial artist turned
large, lust-filled eyes up to meet Ranma's gaze. "So, Ranko my
girl, still wearing men's underwear, eh? Don't you think that a
pretty young woman like yourself would look better in these?"
Pulling a hand free, Happosai shoved a bundle of panties,
brassieres, and scandalous lingerie into Ranma's face.
   It would be best to take a moment to describe the phenomena
known among powerful fighters as a "battle aura". A battle aura
is the visible manifestation of one's fighting spirit. While
anyone angry at anything or anyone produces a battle aura of some
kind, few have enough fighting spirit for the aura to be visible
to the unaided eye. With enough training (usually training in the
martial arts) a fighter can hone his or her fighting spirit, but
even then it rarely produces a visible aura. Some of the most
powerful fighters in the world have developed such control over
their fighting spirit that they can use it as a weapon, lashing
out at their opponents with their battle aura. Of this select
group of fighters, Happosai (though also one of the world's
premiere perverts) was one of the more powerful, especially when
angry. He was about to learn, to his chagrin, that Ranma, one of
his best students, was another.
* * * * * *
   Miss Ninomiya Hinako, chief disciplinarian at Furinkan High
School, had a unique technique for dealing with delinquents. As a
little girl, she had been weak and sickly, suffering from an
exceptionally poor constitution. One day, while she had been
lying in her hospital bed, Happosai appeared at the window and
offered to make her well. She accepted, and over the course of
the next few weeks, Happosai taught her various exercises to
alter her metabolism, as well as a supplementary technique
designed to work with her altered metabolism to draw upon the
fighting spirit of others to make up for her own lack of energy.
This technique was known as the Happo-5-Yen-Satsu, and used the
circular hole in the center of a 5-yen coin as a focus to draw an
opponent's fighting spirit into oneself. (Actually, the use of a
5-yen piece was optional. Any circular object with a hole would
suffice, though the larger the hole, the more powerful the
technique. For example: A Happo-5-Yen-Satsu is not as powerful as
a Happo-50-Yen-Satsu, which has enough power to suck the fighting
spirit from a target who is not even angry, and neither is as
powerful as a Happo-Donut-Satsu, which in turn pales in
comparison to a Happo-Basketball-Hoop-Satsu.) It had been
Happosai's hope to use young Ninomiya to suck the energy from
anyone who tried to interfere with his frequent attempts to
acquire women's underwear from their owners. For a while, the
girl cooperated with Happosai's demented activities, not really
understanding her tutor's behavior. But after a time, the two of
them finally went their separate ways, and Ninomiya Hinako all
but forgot about Happosai. She moved on into a career in school
discipline, where she used her Happo-5-Yen-Satsu technique to
drain delinquents of their fighting spirit before they had a
chance to get out of hand.
   It wasn't until years after parting from Happosai that Miss
Hinako discovered the odd side affect of her altered metabolism.
Her body stopped growing when she was about eight years old. From
that point on, the only way she could attain a body reflecting
her true age was by using the Happo-5-Yen-Satsu technique to
drain someone's energy. Remaining stuck most of the time in an
eight-year-old body had also had an unusual effect on her mental
state. Despite her present age of twenty-four, Miss Hinako often
behaved in a frivolous, child-like manner--especially while in
child form, though occasionally also as an adult. On the other
hand, she often displayed unusual wisdom and maturity, both
appropriate to her adult form, but seeming odd coming from an
eight-year-old. At that very moment, Miss Hinako was in child-
form, dressed in her usual yellow, tube-like garment--clothing
which was obviously oversized for her, but would fit with almost
embarrassing snugness to her curvaceous adult form. (Nearly all
of Miss Hinako's wardrobe consisted of clothing that would look
decent on a little girl of eight as well as on a stunning beauty
of twenty-four. It was a difficulty the woman had to bear, though
she had to admit that she was often flattered by the looks she
drew in adult form.) Miss Hinako was skipping down an uncrowded
street, taking an occasional lick from a double-dipped triple
fudge ice-cream cone (with sprinkles), and humming the ditty the
ice-cream truck had been playing, when a tiny old man suddenly
zipped through the air in front of her to be embedded headfirst
into a telephone pole.
   The very battered-looking ancient popped free of the pole and
glanced around with feverish, terrified eyes. When his eyes fell
on a wide-eyed (and no longer humming) Miss Hinako, he sighed
with desperate relief. Raising a shaking arm, he pointed to the
alleyway behind him and croaked out a single word: "Delinquent!"
   Miss Hinako's eyes narrowed. She was always equipped to deal
with delinquents. Squaring her shoulders, Miss Hinako took a 5-
yen piece in hand (the hand unoccupied by ice-cream) and stepped
forward to look into the alley herself. What she saw caused her a
moment of such panic that the top scoop of her ice-cream fell to
the ground with a soft 'plop'. The delinquent was one with which
she was well familiar: Ranko Saotome, the only student ever to
overcome her techniques. But this time, Ranko's battle aura was
brighter than any Miss Hinako had ever seen; a blue glow
surrounding her body, almost bright enough to obscure Ranko's
features. Willing her body to stop shaking (and failing) Miss
Hinako held her 5-yen piece between the middle and index fingers
of her left hand, and pointed it at Ranko. When Ranko saw this,
the brightness of her battle aura doubled. Miss Hinako lost her
grip on her remaining ice-cream and let out a tiny, terrified
squeak.
   Ranko lashed out and slapped the 5-yen coin from Miss Hinako's
hand. The coin whizzed through the air until it embedded itself
in the wall of a building with a sharp 'clink'. Cringing beneath
Ranko's smouldering gaze, Miss Hinako began to wonder where she
might be able to find a hula hoop on very short notice.
   Miss Hinako didn't resist as Ranko brushed her aside. She
watched, not daring to move, as Ranko picked up the little old
man by the front of his shirt. "DIE, YOU LETCH!!!" Ranko screamed
at the dangling fellow, pulling back a fist.
   Suddenly, Miss Hinako found her courage. She wasn't about to
let this delinquent harm an innocent old man, no matter how scary
she was. Trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach, Miss
Hinako fiercely kicked Ranko's shin, yelling, "Leave him alone,
you big meany!"
   The effect was astounding. Ranko yelped in pain and dropped
the battered little man. Her battle aura flickered and grew dim,
probably because she had been distracted from the original source
of her anger. Miss Hinako didn't wait around to find out. She
grabbed Ranko's poor victim and began to run for her life.
   Buildings and people streamed past as she ran. "Drop that
lecher, you little twerp!" Ranko was yelling behind her. "He's
mine!" Ranko was gaining, Miss Hinako could tell. She needed
longer legs, and she needed them now.
   Tucking the old man under one arm, she began fishing around in
her pockets with her free hand. She came out with a handful of
objects, but to her dismay found that she didn't have anything
circular. 'No change?'  she thought desperately. 'I always have
change! Drat! What now?' Then she noticed that one of the objects
she had pulled out was a stick of chewing gum. Hastily, she
popped it in her mouth and chewed for a few seconds. She pulled
out the sticky mass and moulded it into a ring shape. 'Ranko's
too good at dodging,' Miss Hinako thought. 'I'd better zap one of
these pedestrians. I'll apologize later.' Miss Hinako pointed the
makeshift ring at a random bystander and shouted, "Happo-Chewing-
Gum-Satsu!" The innocent man was bathed in a pale green light,
and nearly all of his energy was siphoned into Miss Hinako,
leaving him drained and withered. Miss Hinako suddenly recognized
Kunou Tatewaki, and felt a little better about draining him. 'A
delinquent if ever I knew one,' she thought with grim
satisfaction. She popped the gum back into her mouth and kept
running.
   It is worth noting at this point, that had all gone as it
should, Miss Hinako would have easily left Ranko behind. Ranko
was still limping, and the adult Miss Hinako's long legs kept up
a respectable stride. The adult Miss Hinako, mind. Basically, if
Happosai had managed to muster any sort of restraint to speak of,
he might have escaped unscathed. Unfortunately (or fortunately,
depending on one's point of view), restraint is a characteristic
entirely foreign to Happosai. So, when the ancient pervert found
himself in the arms of a suddenly shapely Miss Hinako, the
results were, to say the least, predictable.
   "What, no brassiere here, either?" Miss Hinako screeched to a
halt. Happosai had squirmed around in her grip until he could
gaze down the disciplinarian's shirt. "What a waste of two fine
female forms! You and Ranko should be ashamed!"
   Miss Hinako grabbed Happosai and held her out at arm's length,
staring at him with wide-eyed indignation. Ranko had caught up at
this point and was gazing at Miss Hinako with grim satisfaction.
"You pervert," the teacher whispered with barely contained fury.
   Happosai looked back at her with poorly feigned innocence.
"Oh, what a cruel world! Will no one spare a moment of indulgence
for a feeble old man on his last legs?" Happosai groped out
hungrily towards Miss Hinako's bosom with a withered arm.
   Miss Hinako glanced at Ranko and suggested, "Together?" Ranko
nodded once.
   The disciplinarian tossed Happosai into the air and quickly
formed a rough circle from her thumbs and index fingers. Glaring
through this opening, she shouted, "Happo-No-Yen-Coin-Return!"
Green energy poured forth from her hands.
   At the same time, Ranma was exercising a technique of her own.
With the words, "Mouku-Takabisha!", Ranma unleashed a torrent of
blue spiritual energy fueled by her self-confidence (which was a
considerable source, considering that her opponent was already
mostly beaten, and she had Miss Hinako's assistance besides).
Ranma had learned the 'Mouku-Takabisha' technique to counter a
technique that Ryoga had learned, known as the 'Shi-Shi-
Houkudan'. While Ranma's technique was powered by self-
confidence, Ryoga's was powered by depression. (This had the
potential of creating some rather interesting battles. Whenever
Ranma would start winning, thereby gaining self-confidence, Ryoga
would become more depressed, and both techniques would become
more powerful. Whenever Ryoga gained the upper hand, Ranma would
lose self-confidence and Ryoga would become less depressed, thus
weakening both techniques. However, it is worth noting that, of
the two techniques, Ryoga's probably has the greater potential.
When Ryoga reaches the utter depths of depression, he has the
ability to execute a 'Full Shi-Shi-Houkudan', a technique of vast
destructive potential.)
   Both beams of energy struck Happosai an instant before he
would have landed on the concrete. The old man was blasted away
like a gnat in a tornado, leaving tidy, Happosai-shaped holes in
each wall and telephone pole that intercepted him. Soon, he was
out of sight.
   The 'Happo-No-Yen-Coin-Return' technique was a way for Miss
Hinako to expel the spiritual energy she had drained in the form
of a beam of destructive energy. Of course, the loss of that
energy also had the effect of reducing Miss Hinako back to child
form. "That was a bad, bad, man," Miss Hinako muttered sternly,
glaring in the direction Happosai had been flying. She turned to
Ranko. "I'm sorry I tried to stop you, Ranko. I didn't know that
little old man was such a delinquent. I should have asked before
interfering." Miss Hinako shook her head silently. Then she
opened her eyes wide, and gave Ranko a cute grin. "Buy me an ice
cream?"
   Ranko chuckled, for the moment forgetting her problems. "Sure,
teach. Just a sec, okay?"
   Ranko sauntered over to where Kunou was lying crumpled and
drained on the ground. She put on the cutest expression she could
manage and said, "Oh, Kunou honey? You don't mind if I borrow a
few yen, do ya? Pretty please?" She batted her eyelashes.
   Kunou groaned, "All my wealth...is yours for the taking...my
pig-tailed one...ugh." With that, Kunou lost consciousness. Ranko
wasted no time in emptying Kunou's wallet.
   "C'mon, kiddo, let's find us an ice-cream truck."
   "I'm not a kid! I'm your elder, you know. Can I get
sprinkles?"
   "Sure."
* * * * * *
   Meanwhile, at the Tendo's former home, the Director was
staring with frustration at the Shogi game that had been in
progress before he had evicted the occupants. Try as he might, he
couldn't seem to figure out how anyone could get into the jam one
of the two players was in. "He must have been trying to lose," he
muttered irritably.
   The Director was distracted from his ill-tempered musings by
the entrance of one of his minions. "First Bassoon Slakinov
reporting, sir!" Slakinov saluted briskly.
   "Report," commanded the Director.
   "The compound is secure, sir. Non-electronic surveillance
posts have been established at regular intervals. No one will get
in undetected."
   "And the prisoner?"
   "Under constant sonic confinement sir. Damage from the initial
break-out attempt has nearly been repaired."
   The Director nodded. "Very well. Dismissed."
   The combat bassoonist hesitated a moment. "Permission to speak
freely sir?"
   With a raised eyebrow, the Director responded, "Granted. But
make it brief."
   "Nerima has little strategic value, even if it is within
Tokyo. Why are we here?"
   The Director grimaced. Too many had been questioning his plans
lately. "Following orders, First Bassoon Slakinov. That is all
that I am at liberty to say, at the moment."
   "But, sir-"
   "That's enough, First Bassoon. Dismissed." Slakinov saluted
again, and turned to leave. "Oh, one final thing," the Director
growled. "It seems that our discipline has become entirely too
lax. I was very disappointed in our confrontation with the enemy
yesterday. I wanted to subdue them, not scatter them all over
town! As it stands, we only took one prisoner. I want you to
organize a series of intensive harmonic drills for the entire
band. In sections, of course. I want at least six band members
sustaining the sonic prison at all times." The bassoonist saluted
a final time and walked out.
   The Director contemplated the Shogi board again. "Following
orders," he had said. Not entirely a lie. He had, technically,
been ordered to challenge the Anything Goes Martial Arts Dojo,
and to subdue and capture the occupants. However, they had been
orders that he had requested. Requested...no, begged for was more
like it. A chance to finally prove the worth of the Kielowitz
International Martial Arts Marching Band.
   Since the day of its inception, the Director's superiors had
mocked his marching band. They called it silly. Silly! He had
never been taken seriously, and his marching band had never been
assigned any real missions. Then came the day that Ryoga Hibiki
made a mockery of the Kielowitz military. Finally, his superiors
had come to see the potential of a well-trained martial artist--
and realized that they had no less than fifty under their direct
command! Finally, they granted his request to hunt down and
subdue the most dangerous martial artists on the planet, a
mission which had led him here. Nerima. A town he had studied for
months. The concentration of high-powered martial artists here
was astounding, to say the least. There had been powerful
fighters yesterday that he had never heard of, not to mention the
unexpected bonus of Ryoga Hibiki himself! The Director had taken
great satisfaction in mentioning Hibiki's defeat in that
morning's report.
   The Director turned from the Shogi board and walked upstairs.
He wanted to verify for himself that the prisoner was secure. She
was being kept in the room formerly occupied by Soun's daughter,
Nabiki. At the moment, the girl was asleep on Nabiki's bed. Six
musicians were sitting around her, but only four were playing at
the moment. That was as it should be. Only four were required to
keep up the harmonic rhythms that formed a box of sound far
harder than steel. The other two would rest until their turn came
again. The Director chuckled. It was odd that such a confinement
was necessary. Who would have guessed that the girl was strong
enough to break through concrete with her bare hands?
   The Director studied the tall, blue-haired girl again. She was
one of the unidentified fighters, and (aside from her strength)
was totally unremarkable as a martial artist. With training,
perhaps, she would have become extremely formidable. What had she
said her name was? Oh, yes. Robo. Under the Director's
preliminary interrogation, that, and her serial number (though
the Director was uncertain what military assigned serial numbers
like R66-Y), were all the information she had been willing to
give. The Director needed to know more, but was still waiting for
authorization to use torture in his interrogations. All in due
time. Robo's serene calm gave credence to her name, but she would
crack. No one could withstand a sonic interrogation.
   The Director was just about to compliment his minions on their
flawless playing, when an object of some kind smashed through the
window and smacked into the wall. The four musicians didn't skip
a beat. 'An excellent performance under pressure,' the Director
noted. 'Commendations for them all. But first, what have we
here?'
   There seemed to be a two-foot tall man stuck in the wall. The
Director yanked him free, and nearly dropped him. It was
Happosai, one of the most powerful of the powerful martial
artists, and the teacher of many of them, including Soun, Genma,
and Ranko herself! He needed to be contained, and quickly.
   'Haste makes waste,' the Director admonished himself. Besides,
Happosai looked to have had the tar beaten out of him. He was no
threat--well, not much of a threat, anyway--until he recovered.
The Director would need to establish a cell of at least ten
members, with six playing at all times, to contain Happosai.
That, along with Robo's cell, was going to put a real drain on
manpower.
   Suddenly, an idea flashed into the Director's head. An evil
grin settled upon his stony face for the briefest of moments.
Perhaps he would not need so much manpower after all. His
superiors had not yet authorized torture, but there was no
injunction against grouping prisoners more efficiently...
   "Attention, Robo!" the Director called.
   The prisoner stirred in her sleep, slowly waking. She blinked
groggily at the Director and asked, "What do you want?"
   "I'd like you to meet your new cellmate. He's called Happosai.
You can introduce yourself when he comes to. I'm sure that you'll
be the best of friends." With that, the Director tossed the
diminutive martial artist into the sonic cage (the harmonics
allowed nothing but air out, but anything could be tossed in).
   As Robo eyed her new companion warily, the Director instructed
the two idle musicians to find four others to bolster the cage
with. As soon as all ten were in place, the Director turned to
leave. As he did so, he heard the sound of Happosai slowly
regaining consciousness behind him. The evil grin returned and
stayed permanently fixed to the Director's face this time. He
closed the door just as a piercing shriek filled the air,
accompanied by Happosai's voice muttering, "Another braless
beauty? Oh, what is the world coming to?" Yes, Robo would be
ready to talk soon. It was only a matter of time.
   As the Director walked downstairs, he noticed an odd new
addition to the Tendo living room. A glowing blue sphere had
appeared in the center of the room, hovering about chest height
above the ground. As the Director watched, the sphere seemed to
open up into a circular hole in the air with a diameter of nearly
two meters. The hole was suffused with a shifting pattern of
blues and whites. Abruptly, a comely, sharp-nosed woman with long
blonde hair leapt out of the hole and landed on the floor on all
fours. She was wearing a simple, brown, homespun dress, as well
as a long, grey, fur scarf. She was also wearing boots and
wristbands of the same grey fur as her scarf. The woman rose to
her feet with catlike fluidity as the hole behind her collapsed
once again into the blue sphere it had been. Standing, her grey
scarf just barely brushed the ground behind her. She gazed at the
Director with hawklike intensity and asked, "Who you? Where
Crono?" She was speaking in Chinese, but barely--it was an almost
unrecognizable dialect. Fortunately, she was using very simple
words and phrases, so the Director (fluent in Chinese) was able
to follow.
   "I'm afraid that I don't know any 'Crono', my dear," he
answered in standard Chinese. He could tell that the woman was
having trouble following along, so in Japanese, he asked, "Do you
speak Japanese?"
   The woman's eyes widened almost gratefully, and she answered
in Japanese, "You not speak strange here. Is good. Me Ayla. Who
you? Where Crono?"
   "You may call me the Director. As I said, I don't know of any
Crono, but I'd be glad-"
   The woman's eyes narrowed. "Gate take Ayla to Crono. What
Director do with Crono?" Ayla began sniffing the air.
   "Calm down, my dear. As I was saying-"
   Ayla crowed triumphantly. "Yes, Crono here, less than one sun
past. He gone now. Ayla follow." Ayla began to walk towards the
door.
   The Director was through with being polite. "Intruder on the
premises!" He yelled. "Apprehend her!"
   The door Ayla was approaching slammed open to reveal several
band members. The woman hissed menacingly, suddenly realizing
that she was being hunted. She dropped to the floor again, and
leapt toward a window, crashing through and landing on the ground
beyond. The Director moved to look out the shattered window just
in time to see Ayla viciously rake the face of a second-chair
saxophonist with her clawlike fingernails. She managed to evade
all her other pursuers, scrambling away on all fours like a
predatory cat. The tail-like grey scarf trailing behind her
complemented the illusion.
   The Director realized that no one was going to be able to
catch up with her, and to try would draw undue attention to their
activities at the Tendo home. "Do not pursue!" He commanded.
"Someone get that saxophonist some first aid."
   The Director settled wearily into a chair. Today was just full
of surprises. He glanced once more at the Shogi board and came to
an abrupt realization. The only way anyone could be losing that
badly is if their opponent was cheating. The Director smirked.
'No, Soun Tendo,' he thought. 'You won't win that way. After all,
in war, there is no cheating.' The Director flipped his baton at
the Shogi board, sweeping all of the pieces to the floor. 'I
win,' the Director chuckled.
* * * * * *
   Shampoo sat on her haunches on a street corner, unconsciously
grooming herself. Shampoo hated acting like a cat when a cat, and
would have been appalled to realize that she was licking herself
clean. However, her thoughts were on other matters. There was
some serious magic in action. Not her own unnatural physical
transformation--there were many simpler explanations for that--
but the strange mental transformation that had overcome so many.
She had met many who knew of her curse, and none had treated her
as anything but a cat. What could have happened?
   The more philosophical part of Shampoo's psyche had
entertained the possibility that she had, in fact, always been a
cat, and had only been dreaming of being human. Shampoo refused
to even consider that possibility. No, someone had cast a
powerful spell, but who? Who would want to see Shampoo reduced in
this way? The only possibilities Shampoo could think of were her
rivals, Akane, Ukyou, and Kodachi, but none of them knew magic of
this magnitude. Come to think of it, Shampoo knew of only two who
did: her Great-Grandmother, who seemed as affected as anyone
else, and Happosai, but that perverted old lecher would much
rather freeze Shampoo in human form. Preferably without any
clothes. Shampoo shuddered a moment at the thought.
   "Shampoo?" Shampoo was startled by the voice. Looking up, she
saw the less-than-welcome face of Ukyou peering down at her. Had
her furry face been capable of such a maneuver, Shampoo would
have scowled. She was in no mood to be petted, especially not by
a rival for Ranma's affections. "What are you doing outside my
restaurant?" Ukyou frowned. "Waiting to spy on Ranchan?"
   Shampoo was startled. Why would Ukyou accuse an ordinary cat
of spying? "Mew?" she inquired, before remembering that she
couldn't speak.
   Ukyou sighed. "You know I can't understand you. Well, come in
then. I'll get you some warm water, and you can explain
yourself."
   Shampoo nearly leapt with joy. Finally, someone who knew who
she was! Shampoo scampered after Ukyou.
   Inside the restaurant, Ukyou ushered Shampoo to a back room,
and soon returned with a change of clothes and a pot of hot
water. "You can use one of my spare outfits until we get you back
to your restaurant. It wouldn't be very nice to make you run home
naked." A momentary grin informed Shampoo that Ukyou might have
liked to see that, whatever she said.
   Shampoo mewed sadly. She knew that she wasn't going to need an
outfit anytime soon. She was a bit unnerved by Ukyou's
generosity. Shampoo would have preferred to humiliate her enemy,
had their roles been reversed.
   Ukyou poured the water. Shampoo would have rather have avoided
getting wet again, but she could think of no way to tell Ukyou of
her problem without a demonstration. The warm water (not too hot,
this time), trickled between her ears and down her back, soaking
her white and pink fur once again. When Ukyou was finished,
Shampoo shook involuntarily and mewed sadly once more.
   Ukyou dropped the kettle in shock. "You are Shampoo, aren't
you?" Shampoo nodded her head. "What happened to you?" Shampoo
mewed again, and then growled at herself in irritation. She kept
forgetting that she couldn't talk. "Of course you can't tell me.
Does Cologne know?" Shampoo nodded. "And she won't do anything?
Why not?" Shampoo tried to grimace. As a demonstration, she
rubbed against Ukyou's leg and purred, hating every second of it.
Ukyou looked at her in confusion. "You acted like a cat? Or she
treated you like a cat?" Shampoo nodded vigorously at the second
guess. "That's weird. Is she punishing you, or something?"
Shampoo shrugged, another gesture she could manage. "What about
Mousse? Couldn't he help you?" Shampoo purred again, and
shrugged. "Mousse treated you like a cat, too? Now that's hard to
believe. Are they under some kind of spell?" Shampoo nodded.
Ukyou was quick to catch on, there was no doubt about that.
   "Ucchan!" Ranma's feminine voice suddenly called from the
lobby of Ukyou's restaurant.
   "Ranchan!" Ukyou gasped delightedly. Shampoo's face also lit
up. Then she slumped and mewed pitifully. Ukyou looked at her
with some pity, and said, "You're right, Shampoo. You'd best stay
here. We don't want to scare Ranma away before she has a chance
to help you out."
   'Besides,' Ukyou thought devilishly, 'this way, I'll have
Ranma all to myself. For a little while, anyway. Sounds like
she'll need some hot water, too.'
   Ukyou stepped out of the back room and was slightly
disappointed to see that Ranma was not alone. For some reason,
Miss Hinako was with him, and they were both eating ice cream.
"Hey, Ucchan!" Ranma smiled. "Say, has any of our friends come by
lately? I was thinking they might have gathered here."
   Ukyou hesitated. She didn't want to reveal Shampoo's problem
just yet. If Ranma found out that there was a cat even in the
same building as her, she might leave. "Sorry, Ranchan, I haven't
seen anyone. You look like you could use some hot water."
   "Oh, that's too bad," Ranma said distractedly. "Don't bother
on the water. I'm stuck-" Abruptly, her eyes widened. "You
remember?" Ranma leapt over the counter to where Ukyou was
standing, and grabbed her by the shoulders. "You remember?"
   "Er, remember what, sugar?" Ukyou asked uncomfortably.
   "That my name is Ranma! That I'm really a guy, and not a girl!
Please tell me that you remember!"
   "Well, yes, of course. Why would I-"
   Abruptly Ranma threw her arms around Ukyou in a bear hug. "Oh,
thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! You don't know what it's been
like! Everyone's gone nuts except you!"
   Ukyou was rather enjoying Ranma's embrace (though she would
have preferred her fiancee to have been in male form), but she
wanted the whole story. She gently disengaged herself from her
misgendered fiancee. "C'mon now, Ranchan. Tell me what this is
all about."
   Ranma hesitated, and then said, "Let me show you. Miss
Hinako!"
   The diminutive disciplinarian looked up. She had been totally
absorbed in her ice cream, and had been paying no attention. Miss
Hinako quickly licked away the triple fudge chocolate moustache
(with sprinkles) she had cultivated and answered, "Yes, Ranko?"
   'Ranko?' thought Ukyou in bemusement.
   Ranma continued, "Would you do me a favor, and tell Ucchan who
I am?"
   Miss Hinako looked at Ranma dubiously. "It looks like she
already knows you pretty well." Ranma insisted. "Well, all right.
You did buy me ice cream. You're Ranko Saotome, my toughest
disciplinary case."
   "And what gender am I?"
   Miss Hinako giggled for a moment. "Don't be silly, Ranko.
You're a girl. Anyone can see."
   Ukyou spoke up. "What if I were to tell you that Ranko is not
her real name? That her name is Ranma, and he's actually a boy,
cursed by a magic spring to turn into a girl whenever splashed
with cold water, and back to a boy with hot water?"
   Miss Hinako considered that for a moment. 'Now, where have I
heard that name?' she pondered. No sooner had the thought crossed
her mind, a compelling second voice echoed through her brain,
'There is no Ranma, only Ranko.' 'Of course,' agreed Miss Hinako
uncertainly. "I'd say that you were fibbing, and a delinquent
besides," Miss Hinako answered Ukyou, a dangerous glint appearing
in her eye. Then she giggled again. "Besides, that's the
stupidest story I've ever heard. Ranko's always been a girl."
Then her eyes widened. "Of course if it were true, I'd love to
see you change..."
   "I'm kinda, er, stuck right now," Ranma responded, a little
embarrassed.
   "Thought so!" Miss Hinako chuckled.
   "You see, Ucchan, everyone's just like Miss Hinako, except for
you and me. And I'm stuck as a girl besides."
   "You, me, and Shampoo," Ukyou corrected.
   "Huh?"
   "You see, Ranchan," Ukyou began hesitantly. "Shampoo...well,
Shampoo has the same problem you do."
   Ranma looked confused. "What do you mean-" suddenly Ranma
blanched. "You mean, she's stuck as a c-c-c-c... a ca-ca-ca-" At
Ukyou's nod, Ranma shuddered.
   Miss Hinako smiled brightly. "Shampoo? You mean that cute
little kitty at the Neko Hanten? So what does she turn into,
then. A giraffe?" She giggled uncontrollably for a second, and
then looked thoughtful. "If you two really believe all this,
maybe you should see a doctor."
   "I've already been to see Dr. Tofu, thanks," Ranma muttered.
   The teacher persisted. "Really, I mean it. You said yourself
that no one in town believes your little fairy tale. Isn't it
more likely that you two are...er, crazy, instead of the whole
town?"
   Ukyou pondered that a moment. "Maybe I can convince you. I'll
show you that Shampoo's not just a dumb cat."
   Ranma's eyes became as wide as saucers. "SHE'S HERE?!?"
   Ukyou sighed. "Pull yourself together, Ranchan. I won't let
her anywhere near you. You don't even have to see her. She's in
the back room-" no sooner had the words left her lips, Ranma had
wedged herself into a corner at the front of the restaurant,
trying to look in every direction at once with a hunted look in
her eyes. "Er, just stay there, Ranchan. We'll be right back.
Miss Hinako?"
   "This is silly," Miss Hinako muttered, but followed Ukyou
anyway. When she spied Shampoo on the floor in the back room, she
said, "Yep, that's Shampoo. You didn't kidnap her, did you?"
   Ignoring her for the moment, Ukyou addressed the transformed
cat. "Shampoo, you remember Miss Hinako, don't you?" Shampoo
nodded, and meowed. She cut the meow short, and seemed to regard
herself crossly. "She thinks you've always been a cat. But you're
not a cat, are you?" Shampoo shook her head vigorously. "You're a
Chinese girl who's been transformed." Shampoo nodded.
   Miss Hinako scoffed. "You practiced this, didn't you. I'm
impressed. It's not easy to train a cat."
   "You tell her to do something, then," Ukyou challenged.
   "Change into a Chinese girl," the teacher suggested
impatiently.
   "Something you think she's capable of doing," sighed Ukyou.
   "Fine. Sit down and clap your paws."
   Shampoo looked at Ukyou and meowed indignantly. Miss Hinako
began to smirk. "Just do it, Shampoo," Ukyou sighed. "We need to
convince her."
   Miss Hinako's smirk faded as Shampoo reluctantly plopped down
on her haunches and tapped her front paws together. Miss Hinako
frowned, and said, "Stand on your head." Shampoo looked at her
reproachfully. "Even if you can't, try."
   After another angry stare, Shampoo futilely attempted to push
her body into the air. She could never quite get her proper
balance, though, and finally collapsed with a squeak.
   Miss Hinako stared at the spectacle in disbelief. Could it be
that Ukyou's absurd story was true? Might Shampoo actually be-
   'Shampoo is nothing but a cat,' asserted a vaguely familiar
voice in her mind. But those tricks, no one could have trained a
mere cat-'
   'Shampoo is nothing but a cat.' Miss Hinako was furious.
"Don't try to trick me! Shampoo is just a cat,
you...you...delinquent!" Miss Hinako jammed her hand into her
pocket, searching for some change. After a moment, her anger
faded, to be replaced by embarrassment. "Do you, er, have change
for a 1000 Yen bill?" she asked sheepishly, holding out a
crumpled piece of currency. Shampoo and Ukyou both collapsed in
disbelief.
   A moment later, Ukyou and Miss Hinako returned to stand before
Ranma (after stopping a moment at the cash register to get the
disciplinarian her change, on the condition that she not use it
on Ukyou). "Sorry, Ranchan," Ukyou told him. "It must be some
kind of spell. Even proof wouldn't change her mind."
   Miss Hinako harumphed. "I didn't see any proof. Just parlor
tricks."
   Ranma merely stared at them both in blank terror.
   "Oh, come on outside, Ranchan. I'll explain once you stop
gibbering."
   Ranma was only too glad to comply. Once she was safely
outside, and far, far away from Shampoo, Ukyou explained again,
to Miss Hinako's irritation. "I still think you're both crazy,"
she complained. "But I promised Ranko I'd help her deal with all
the delinquents that stole Mr. Tendo's house, and I will."
   "Thanks, Miss Hinako. I owe ya big time," said Ranma. "Let's
get to the Neko Hanten. I'm sure the others are there by now."
'Even Akane,' Ranma thought uneasily.
* * * * * *
   On the rooftops above, two figures silently followed Ranma.
One was Shampoo, who was following out of sight at Ukyou's
request. She was as unaware of the second stalker as the trio on
the ground below.
   Magus slipped invisibly from shadow to shadow, carefully
watching the four he followed. Unseen, he grimaced. He had hoped
that Shampoo would not have thought of consulting Ukyou--the two
were rivals, after all. Still, it might not make any difference.
As the dark sorcerer had planned, Ukyou had become Ranma's sole
link to sanity. Ranma would stay close to Ukyou, her one true
friend, and the only one who would believe her 'wild' stories
about her true identity. Better still, he would stay far away
from Ukyou's rivals; Kodachi because she was ill, Shampoo because
she was a cat, and Akane because of their...embarrassing
confrontation a few hours before. Given time, Ranma would come to
love Ukyou, and even if she didn't, she would choose her out of
gratitude for the hardships they had endured together. When Magus
was certain that Ranma would choose Ukyou, then, and only then,
he would invoke the proper counterspells, and all would
'miraculously' return to normal. And if Shampoo did try to cause
trouble, well, Magus would deal with that problem when it arose.
Magus chuckled mirthlessly.
   On the subject of problems, Magus did not care for Miss Hinako
one bit. The woman/girl was an enigma to a man who hated puzzles.
When Magus had first spotted her a few moments before her
altercation with Ranma, he had been shocked to discover that she
didn't have an aura. Upon closer inspection, Magus had found that
what she did have was sort of an anti-aura--an aura which drew
upon regular auras in a manner similar to the way black holes
drew on matter. All Magus's attempts to probe her negative aura
had been cut short, her aura ripping his magical probes into
nothingness and putting no small drain on the sorcerer himself.
Magus would not have been surprised if the woman could absorb any
magical attack in a similar manner, and the idea of one whom his
magic could not touch bothered him--even more so once he learned
that she could extend her anti-aura using that technique of hers.
Fortunately, her odd aura had done nothing to deter the spell
Magus had cast upon the town. That spell had depended more upon
the magical fields of the planet and of the spell components he
had utilized than on his own magical aura.
   After glancing at the foursome again, he came to a decision.
Miss Hinako was not the problem at the moment. It was time for
Magus to rejoin the others. He had been gone long enough. Any
longer might create suspicion. Besides, helping the Tendo's to
regain their home might help improve his image in the eyes of all
concerned. Wrapping his black cloak around himself, Magus soared
through the air on a straight path towards the Neko Hanten.
   So intent was Magus on the four he had been following, that he
had completely failed to detect the aura of another hidden
observer watching him from a convenient alley. Nabiki, as had
Magus, had observed everything that had occurred within the
restaurant. 'So,' thought Nabiki, 'you are up to something.
That's hardly surprising. But that you'd cast a spell on Ukyou,
too--now that's a surprise. What on Earth would you have to gain
by making both Ranko and Ukyou think that Ranko is a boy? Let
alone by making them think that Shampoo is a human girl! I think
it's time to pay Gosunkugi a personal visit.'

Chapter 17: Time to Prepare

   "Janus! You're all right!" Ukyou exclaimed when she, Ranma,
and Miss Hinako entered the Neko Hanten.
   Magus turned from where he was in discussion with Akane,
Mousse, Crono, Lucca, Marle, Frog, Genma, Soun and Cologne.
(Well, with everyone but Soun, Lucca and Mousse, anyway--Lucca
and Mousse merely stood to one side staring at one another
dreamily, while Soun was bawling like a baby over the loss of his
home.) The sorcerer lifted an eyebrow and replied, "Of course.
What did you expect? Still, your concern is appreciated."
   Akane looked up. Her eyes met Ranma's for a moment, and her
face paled. Quickly, she turned her eyes away, noticing the third
member of Ranma's group. "Miss Hinako?" she asked. "What are you
doing here?"
   Miss Hinako looked petulant. "I'm helping you take care of
those delinquents, Miss Tendo. It's my job."
   Kasumi appeared from the kitchen, bearing a tray of ramen
bowls. "Why, hello, Ranko, Ukyou! And Miss Hinako, this is a
pleasure! I don't believe I've seen you since that incident with
Ranko and the fifty-two barrels of pickled herring!"
   Heads swivelled to look questioningly at Ranma. Ranma turned
beet red. "Look, it wasn't my fault! Really."
   Miss Hinako was idly toying with a 50 yen piece. "Do you have
any idea what it costs to clean fifty-two barrels of pickled
herring off of a baseball diamond, Ranko? When I do get to the
bottom of that little incident, you'd better not be there,"
abruptly, Miss Hinako pointed the coin at Ranma, "or else."
   Kasumi, apparently oblivious to the thinly veiled threats,
began handing around bowls of ramen. "Thank you again for your
generosity, Cologne," Kasumi beamed. "It was so kind of you to
shelter us after that band moved into our house."
   Cologne waved dismissively. "No trouble at all, child." She
turned to the others. "Now, who remains unaccounted for?"
   "Just Ryoga and Robo," Marle listed. "Unless you also count
Lucca and Mousse, who seem to be in outer space at the moment."
   The two just named jerked in startlement, each blushing.
"We're listening, we're listening!" Lucca protested.
   "Ryoga could be anywhere," Ranma supplied. "Even if he landed
outside the front door, he probably wouldn't be able to find his
way here."
   "And Robo could be with him," Akane finished. "They're pretty
good friends, after all." Both Ranma and Akane were making a
visible effort not to notice each other again, despite their
cooperative efforts towards regaining their lost home.
   "I suppose this is our army, then," Cologne noted. "Very well.
Now, tell me again of this musical attack that ended your
confrontation."
   Lucca assumed a professional tone of voice. "I think that the
band is able to find the harmonic frequencies at which people's
bodies resonate. If they can do that, then they could use sonic
vibrations to throw us in all directions, or to hold us in place.
Or even to shake us to pieces." Lucca shuddered. "I'm glad they
didn't try that."
   "Is there any way to overcome this technique?" Cologne asked.
   "Not once they start playing," Lucca responded. "After that,
we're under their complete control."
   "I know how to stop them from playing," said Ranma. "And
probably cripple them as a fighting team."
   Everyone gazed at her with raised eyebrows. "Prithee, keep us
not in the dark, milady," Frog responded.
   "I worked it out on the way here," said Ranma. "You remember
how the Director was always giving orders and waving that stick
around and stuff? Well, most of them seemed like they wouldn't
have done anything without the Director to tell them what to do.
If we can take him down at the very beginning, they probably
won't know what to do."
   Lucca beamed. "And they certainly wouldn't be coordinated
enough to play that harmonic attack. Ranko, you're a genius!"
   Suddenly, the door burst open. "Crono!" a woman's voice yelled
joyfully. A brown and blond blur collided bodily with the
startled swordsman, knocking him to the ground, and somersaulting
with him two or three times before standing again, Crono held out
at arm's length.
   "Ayla?" chorused Frog, Lucca, and Marle. Magus hardly seemed
surprised, and Crono was too stunned to speak.
   "Ayla find Crono!" Ayla continued, giving Crono a fierce hug
before setting him down again. She glanced around the room, as if
only just noticing how crowded it was. "Who friends?"
   Crono, after regaining his breath, introduced Ayla to the
others. Ayla was co-chief of the Ioka tribe, a village of
cavepeople who lived in 65,000,000 B.C. on their world, and had
been a fellow adventurer in their quest to destroy Lavos. Once
introductions were complete, Ayla's former companions (save
Magus, who stood silently aloof) were eager to describe the
adventures they had had since arriving on the world they now
occupied. Ayla nodded grimly as they finished. "Is good you know
Lavos here. Ayla come get help to fight Lavos."
   "How exactly did you get here?" asked Marle.
   "Joketsuzoku wise ones help send Ayla," Ayla answered. Cologne
and Mousse glanced up sharply at this.
   "Maybe you'd better explain everything," Marle suggested.
   Ayla seemed to agree, and began to describe how she had come
to this world, continuing to speak in the same odd, primitive
manner. (The language of Ayla's people, while the same as that
spoken in modern times, was much less developed in her time;
still, she was perfectly understandable most of the time.) After
Ayla had returned to the past after helping to defeat Lavos, she
had rejoined her mate and co-chief, Kino. The two of them lived
together happily for many years, helping to preserve their people
in the face of an oncoming ice age. (Actually, the words Ayla
used were "big cold" instead of ice age, but Crono, Marle, and
Lucca were well aware of the fact that Ayla was fighting an ice
age triggered by the huge clouds of dust generated when Lavos
first collided with their planet. None of Ayla's people had ever
experienced winter, and Crono and his friends were the ones to
first teach them the word "snow", which had been used on their
world to describe the cold, frozen rain ever since. It was just
another one of the ways in which Crono's adventures served to
fulfill history.)
   "Kino give Ayla good, strong, baby boy," Ayla grinned. "He
make fine chief, one day. We name him Crono." Crono blushed at
this. Then Ayla sobered. "Many babies not so strong. Many babies
die in big cold. We learn to make clothes like ones you wear,"
Ayla added, indicating her rough, brown dress for emphasis. "We
make new word, 'sewing'. It mean to put fur together and make
warm skins. Many animals with little fur die, and animals with
much fur live. So we get more fur for ourselves."
   "I was wondering why you looked so...dressed," Lucca noted.
   Ayla nodded and continued. It had been many, many, many suns
since Ayla had returned home from her adventure with Crono and
their friends. She had been hunting one of the tusked big-meats
in the mountains near the hunting range, when her footing gave
way beneath her and she began to fall. She was very high, and
most likely would have died, if it were not for the Gate which
opened directly beneath her. The Gate took her to a strange,
rocky land, and then disappeared. The people she met there all
spoke in a strange manner, with words that Ayla did not
understand. Nevertheless, a tribe there adopted Ayla and took
care of her, slowly teaching her their language.
   "Speak some of it," Cologne suddenly commanded, a curious look
on her face.
   Ayla obliged, and Mousse suddenly exclaimed, "It's
Chinese...sort of."
   Cologne nodded and said, "It is a very ancient dialect, one
that has not been spoken for many thousands of years. Its roots
are with the very beginnings of the Joketsuzoku people. Please
forgive my interruption, Ayla, and continue with your tale."
   Ayla, though she missed her own tribe, and especially her son
and husband, eventually began to participate in village life. Her
tremendous strength and skill as a warrior made her very useful.
One day, however, an enormous army of warriors from an unknown
tribe attacked during the night. There was no warning, no mercy
offered, and no reason given for the invasion. The village was
devastated, but Ayla managed to lead the few villagers not killed
or captured to safety. As Ayla and her band of survivors
traveled, seeking somewhere to reestablish their village, they
heard rumors and tales from other refugees that finally revealed
the truth behind the invading army.
   The army came from a people known as the Jusenkyo. They were a
hostile, warlike tribe who were constantly conquering surrounding
villages. As their territory grew, so did their army, as they
conscripted captured warriors and forced them to fight for them.
They were led by a man who was known only as the Sorcerer of
Jusenkyo (Cologne's eyes narrowed to slits at this). There were
rumors that this sorcerer possessed powerful magic, and that a
few of his soldiers did as well--stories that some of his
soldiers transformed into vicious wild beasts in battle. Ayla
wasn't sure which of the stories were true, and which just
exaggeration. But one thing she did learn: the location of
Jusenkyo, where her former villagers were being held prisoner.
   Ayla organized the few warriors she still had with her, and
executed a successful raid on the Jusenkyo prisoner's camp
(despite her primitive nature and language, it should be
understood that Ayla was an extremely cunning and accomplished
warrior and leader). She liberated the people being held there,
which included people from a large number of villages. There were
very few men among them, and no warriors at all. Any warriors not
killed in battle had long since been sent off to fight as
conscripts in Jusenkyo's armies. Still, Ayla knew that the
Sorcerer's armies had to be stopped, so she organized the
liberated people into a new village, a tribe of Amazon warriors.
A tribe they called Joketsuzoku.
   Mousse's eyes nearly popped out of his head, while Cologne
merely nodded slowly, but still seemed almost awed. The two of
them were in the presence of the woman most responsible for the
creation of their tribe.
   Ayla helped to train the women to fight, and once their
village became known as an enemy of the Jusenkyo army, many
refugees and unconquered tribes allied themselves with them.
Their ranks were also increased by deserters from the Jusenkyo
army, who saw no further reason to fight now that their loved
ones were safe. A full-scale war erupted between the Jusenkyo and
the Joketsuzoku, with battles won and lost on both sides. Ayla's
cunning strategies and battle plans were, unfortunately, more
than offset by the sheer immensity of the enemy armies, along
with their leader's devious magicks. It became clear that Ayla's
people were slowly, but steadily, losing their war. A ray of hope
became known when some of Ayla's spies in the enemy village
finally delivered a piece of critical knowledge to her: the
magical powers of the enemy stemmed in part from a powerful
creature that they called Lavos.
   Ayla had learned many things while traveling through time with
Crono and his friends, not the least of which was that Lavos
could create Gates through time, like the ones they had used
before Belthasar, the Guru of Reason, had given them the Epoch.
So, with some reservations, she commanded some of the wise women
of her tribe to try to tap Lavos's power--to try to create a time
Gate that would take Ayla to the people she believed best able to
help them in their hour of need. The wise women were skillful in
the ways of magic, and attempted to grant Ayla's request, though
they warned her time and again of the evil nature of Lavos's
power. Ayla knew Lavos's evil only too well but saw little
alternative. Finally, they produced a special time Gate, one that
was fixed only in their time and at their location. Once Ayla
stepped through it, the other end would be fixed in the time and
place Ayla desired. So, Ayla fixed the image of Crono in her
mind, and stepped through.
   It almost worked perfectly. Instead of taking Ayla directly to
Crono, it took her to a place Crono had recently been; a place
now controlled by an evil man who called himself the Director.
Perhaps the slight error had been caused by Lavos's evil, but
Ayla soon escaped the man's clutches to follow Crono's scent to
his new location. "Now we go through Gate, kill Lavos, and save
Joketsuzoku!" Ayla finished.
   Crono nodded, and then pointed out that the Director was still
a problem, especially since Ayla's Gate was in the Tendo's home.
Crono went on to carefully explain Ranma's plan of attack. Ayla
nodded and smiled at Ranma. "Ranko plan good. Army without leader
is like animal without head. But some animals, body keeps
fighting, even when head gone. How kill others?"
   After making it clear that they were not trying to kill the
marching band, merely to overcome them, they admitted that they
had not yet developed a plan beyond that. Ayla nodded. "Need
fighting techniques that hit many, but not kill. Like Frog
'Water2', or Robo 'Laser Spin'. Also need strong techniques for
stopping strong fighters. Do you know Double Techs?"
   "Double Techs?" asked Genma.
   Marle explained, "Sometimes we combine our spells and
techniques to do one, extra powerful technique. That's a Double
Tech."
   "Oh, you mean like that 'Arc Impulse' thing you hit that
dragon with?" asked Ranma, understanding.
   "Actually, that was a Triple Tech," Marle answered, "'cause
there were three of us. But the principle's the same. I don't
think you guys know any."
   "Actually," Genma noted, "Ranko and Akane did one once. Do you
remember, Ranko? When those two girls claiming to be Soun's
daughters fought you to inherit the Tendo Dojo?"
   Ranma and Akane thought back. The elder of the girls, Natsumi,
fought with an ornately designed rug beater, and was capable of
generating fierce tornadoes of bitterly cold wind. The younger,
Kurumi, wielded a whiplike hair ribbon that left burn marks with
its heat. The two of them together could create an tunnel of
extremely powerful hot and cold force; a technique that had
decimated both Ranma and Akane the first time they had used it.
To counter the effect, Ranma had devised a countertechnique. She
had waited for the sisters to begin their technique, and then had
Akane run into the forming cylinder. Then Ranma had executed an
altered 'Hiryu-Shoten-Ha' technique, aimed horizontally rather
than vertically. The tunnel the sisters had created helped to
focus and augment Ranma's 'Hiryu-Shoten-Ha', which, in turn,
caught up with the charging Akane, lifting her and accelerating
her towards their opponents, at the same time protecting her from
the harmful effects of the sisters' technique. The overall effect
was that Natsumi and Kurumi's attack was splintered, and Akane
was flung at them with enough momentum to deliver two decisive,
knockout blows.
   "I don't think-" Ranma and Akane began together. They glanced
at one another, and Akane turned away hurriedly, leaving Ranma
feeling miserable.
   "I don't think that would work here," Akane continued for them
both. "It kinda depended on Natsumi and Kurumi's attack."
   "Still, it sounds like you have the idea!" Marle exclaimed
enthusiastically. "Perhaps we can think of some more before we
face the music."
   "Perhaps you should experiment," suggested Cologne. "The
riverside would make an excellent training area."
   "Aren't you gonna help us get back our home?" asked Akane.
   "No, Kasumi and I shall remain here to guard the Neko Hanten,"
the old woman replied. "The enemy might choose to acquire a new
base of operations, should you succeed in routing them. I do not
intend to let them make this restaurant their home. Farewell, and
good luck." Then Cologne added, "And I should like to speak with
you again, Ayla. There is much I would like to know about our
people." Ayla nodded, and soon the group had left the restaurant.
   "I do hope that they'll be alright," Kasumi said with concern.
   "Do not worry, child," Cologne responded. "If there are any
who can succeed against such odds, it is they."
* * * * * *
   Exhausted and disheveled, Ryoga found that he had come upon
another door. He was long past watching or caring where he was
going. Had he been watching, he still would have had no idea. All
he knew now, was that he had found a door, and it was possible
that there was someone behind it that could point him in the
right direction. He slammed open the door and demanded, "Where is
the Neko Hanten!?!"
   Abruptly, he froze. He recognized this area. It was Nabiki's
room (funny, he didn't remember climbing any stairs, let alone
walking into any house). But something was very wrong. Robo was
on Nabiki's bed, with six of those Kielowitz band members playing
something at her. There was evidently some sort of invisible
barrier around her, because she had some object in her hands that
she was pounding against the barrier over and over again. She was
sobbing, and screaming something, something like, "WHY WILL IT
NOT DIE??!!?" over and over again. With a sick lurch of his
stomach, Ryoga realized that the object was Happosai. Someone had
locked Robo in a cell with Happosai while she was in girl form.
   That someone turned from where he was watching the spectacle
to stare at Ryoga in surprise. "How did you get past my
security?" he demanded.
   Ryoga ignored his question, unsheathing his umbrella. "You
fiend," he whispered hoarsely. "You sick, twisted, fiend! Have
you no humanity?"
   The Director glared back. "No more than I must. SECURITY!"
   Ryoga snarled, fury driving him well beyond reason, and
charged at the Director. His charge was met by four musicians
that had been sitting with Robo's six guards without actually
playing along. His heavy umbrella hit two with enough force to
knock them cold, while a single kick took out a third. Ryoga
slammed his head into the face of the fourth, and Ryoga heard the
distinct crack of a jaw breaking. All of this took less than a
few seconds, and now the way was clear between Ryoga and the
depraved animal he so wished to smash.
   Abruptly, Ryoga stumbled, as five or six band members, who
must have come at the Director's call, leapt onto his back. Ryoga
crashed to the floor, and immediately struggled to regain his
footing, actually lifting the entire pile up into the air. But
then, ten more added themselves to the pile, pushing Ryoga
decisively to the ground. Ryoga strained and grunted, but was
unable to move.
   The Director walked to within a few feet of the trapped man.
"Well, it would seem we have another prisoner. Do you have
anything to say for yourself?"
   Ryoga's mind whirled with frustration. He couldn't move, and
one of his friends was only a few feet away from him, slowly
losing her sanity. Robo was helpless, and Ryoga was unable to
help her. HE was helpless. He was worthless. Ryoga could think of
only one thing to say. "Shi-Shi-"
   Abruptly, the Director recoiled. "Quickly! Subdue him!"
   "Houku-"
   A snare drummer prepared to kick Ryoga into unconsciousness,
but was too late.
   "DAN" Ryoga finished, and a tremendous explosion of negative
emotional energy burst from him like a grenade. The band members
atop him were scattered in all directions. Ryoga staggered to his
feet.
   "Stop him!" called the Director.
   Thinking quickly, Ryoga jumped through a window. As the glass
shattered around him, he called, "Hold on to your sanity, Robo!
I'll save you as soon as I can!"
   Thump. Ryoga landed on the Tendo lawn, and glanced around
feverishly. They were going to be after him any second, and his
'Shi-Shi-Hokudan' had left him too drained to run. His eye fell
upon the Tendo pond. They would be after him...but not after P-
Chan.
* * * * * *
   The Director was furious. All of his sentries claimed no one
had entered the Tendo property. And yet, Ryoga had somehow
waltzed into the house, walked up the stairs, and barged right
into the prisoner's quarters, apparently never even realizing
where he was! Even worse, he had then overcome no less than
twenty martial arts musicians, somehow gotten back out again, and
no one could find anything except his clothes. His clothes! Why
would he have left his clothes? How could a nude teenaged boy
walk unseen past so many guards?
   Robo's cage was down to four members, two of them having been
knocked senseless by Ryoga's attack. Fortunately, Happosai was in
no shape to take advantage of the fact, and probably would have
preferred to stay inside with Robo anyway, despite the abuse he
was enduring at her hands. Inside, Robo was still pounding the
battered old man against the musical barrier. She was close to
breaking, the Director could tell.
   The Director thought back to the Shogi game he had overturned.
It seemed that his opponents had found a way to cheat after all.
But once Robo was willing to talk, the Director would know the
rules by which his enemies played.
* * * * * *
   Meanwhile, the enemies in question were training down by the
riverside, and really making a mess of the area in the process.
Their standard method of practice was to unearth a boulder, and
then to pulverize it in any of a number of ways. This, while an
effective method of practice, had the side effect of leaving huge
boulder holes and scraps of stone shrapnel all over the area.
Still, if anyone from the police or sanitation department had
happened upon the scene, they probably would have been reluctant
to interfere once they had witnessed the cause of all the
destruction.
   At one corner of the area, Ranma and Ayla had squared off to
try to determine whether or not any of their various techniques
were compatible. Ayla had discarded her brown dress, preferring
to fight in her traditional outfit. This, basically, consisted of
a bikini-like getup of the same grey fur as her boots, scarf, and
wristbands. With the brown dress gone, Ayla was revealed to have
an extremely shapely figure to complement her handsome, if
angular face.
   The two of them had come to the conclusion that few of their
techniques could really be combined effectively. The ones that
had come closest to doing so were Ranma's 'Hiryu-Shoten-Ha'
technique and Ayla's 'Tail Spin' (the latter technique consisting
of Ayla spinning in place fast enough to generate a minor
tornado). Unfortunately, Ranma's dependence on heat and cold to
execute his own technique made it difficult to practice.
Theoretically, though, with Ayla spinning counterclockwise and
Ranma's chi spinning clockwise, a large number of foes could be
lifted and slammed together by the fierce opposing air currents.
   "Is good Double Tech, Ranko," noted Ayla, satisfied. "When you
can do, tell Ayla and we do together. Okay call it 'Crosswinds'?"
   Ranma nodded, the name 'Ranko' still sounding sour in her
ears. Ayla looked concerned. Hesitantly, she asked, "Is Ranko not
real name? Ranko unhappy when it said."
   Ranma sighed. "No, my name is Ranma. I'm actually a man, but
I've been transformed."
   Ranma wasn't really expecting to be believed, but Ayla nodded
slowly. "Ranma smell like man," she noted. "Is Jusenkyo magic?
Ayla think so."
   Ranma looked surprised. "You can tell?"
   Ayla nodded. "Ayla smell captured Jusenkyo soldiers. Some
change shape, and have magic scent. Why Ranma not use warm
water?"
   "It won't work," Ranma answered miserably. "I'm stuck this
way, and everyone's under some sort of spell, except for Ucchan."
   "'Ucchan'? Ranma mean Ukyou? Ayla have good, strong Double
Tech with Ukyou: Ayla throw enemy at Ukyou, and Ukyou hit with
spatula. She call it 'Home Run'."
   "Well, other than her, everyone thinks that I've always been a
girl. Well, there's Shampoo, too, but she's stuck as a c-c...a c-
cat."
   "Shampoo is cat? Ayla find cat that smell like human girl."
   "That's Shampoo," Ranma shuddered.
   "Ranma afraid of cats," Ayla noted. "Is sad for Shampoo." Ayla
grinned. "Shampoo smell like human girl--like human girl in love.
Ayla think Shampoo love Ranma. Cat always watch Ranma." Ayla
pointed at a distant clump of bushes.
   Ranma nearly leaped when she saw the tiny, white, furry shape
sitting under a bush hundreds of meters away. It was far enough
away that she could resist fleeing in terror, but the thought of
a cat watching her still filled her with fear.
   "But Ranma love another, anyway. Is not true? Ranma love
Akane?"
   "I don't want to talk about it," Ranma noted sourly, with more
than a hint of self-loathing.
   Evidently, Ayla could smell that, too. "Ranma should not blame
self. If Ranma love Akane, and spell stop love, blame sorcerer
that cast spell." Ayla paused. She could think of little else to
say. "Ayla practice with Genma and Soun now. Be well, Ranma."
   As Ayla walked away, she found herself pitying Ranma. She was
a young woman--man, she corrected herself--with many problems.
She wondered if Ranma knew that Ukyou was in love with her, too.
Troubled is the man with many loves. Then, Ayla scolded herself.
Pity would not help Ranma. But if there was a way Ayla could help
her, she would.
* * * * * *
   Ryoga was barreling down the streets of Nerima as fast as his
little piggy legs could carry him. At least, he desperately hoped
that he was still in Nerima. He had to find the Neko Hanten. He
had to! Robo was counting on him. If anything were to happen to
Robo, just because he got lost...why, he'd never be able to
forgive himself!
   Featureless buildings blurred past, dotted with the occasional
frustratingly half-familiar landmark. P-Chan's head darted back
and forth. 'Does that restaurant look familiar?' he asked himself
anxiously. 'Haven't I seen that particular cluster of vending
machines somewhere before? And that flower shop; is it the one a
few blocks from Furinkan High, or the one across town? Argh! Why
do I have to be so hopeless!'
   Suddenly, Ryoga's tormented musings were cut short as he
suddenly discovered that he had run out of road. Ryoga tumbled
head over heels down the steep embankment built next to the
riverside. When Ryoga came to a halt, he eyed the river in front
of him tiredly. 'The river?' Ryoga thought. 'That's nowhere near
the Neko Hanten! Or is it? Oh, Robo, forgive me!'
   "HAIIIYAAA!" a shrill, yet familiar voice cried. Ryoga's ears
perked up as a sliver of stone whizzed by just overhead. 'Akane?'
he thought, daring to hope.
   Indeed, it was Akane. She had just finished pulverizing a
medium-sized boulder with her wooden mallet, while a few others
looked on. Ryoga looked around the area and was delighted to see
that everyone was there. Perhaps it was not too late for Robo
after all!
   Being careful to stay out of sight, P-Chan sought out Ranko.
Everyone else thought that P-Chan was Akane's pet, and Ryoga
would not have an easy time explaining Robo's situation while
trying to keep his secret safe.
   Ranko was standing sulkily off to the side, occasionally
throwing terrified glances toward some distant object for no
reason that Ryoga could discern. That caused Ryoga to pause for a
moment. It had been suggested that Ranko might not be quite sane
at the moment, with her insisting on being male and everything.
Had it gotten worse? If Ryoga revealed himself, would Ranko
betray his secret in some bout of insane rambling? Ryoga had no
choice. He gently nuzzled Ranko's foot with his soft snout,
grunting softly to get the girl's attention.
   Ranko was startled. "Wha-?" she looked down. "Ryoga! So, ya
finally made it, huh?" P-Chan grunted and squealed anxiously for
a few seconds, pointing towards a copse of bushes atop the
embankment with his snout for emphasis. "Something's wrong?
C'mon, let's get you out of sight."
   As it turned out, Ryoga had recognized those bushes as one of
the many caches of clothes he left at points all around the town.
He always marked such caches with a semi-hidden yellow and black
striped bandana. This particular cache also contained a small
kerosene stove and a teapot of water. It took only minutes for
Ryoga to transform back to human form and get dressed, and even
less for him to hurriedly babble the horrible scene he had
witnessed. As he finished, the color drained from Ranko's face.
"We've gotta get the others, fast!" Ranko agreed, grabbing Ryoga
by the arm. The two of them hurried down to where the others were
still training.
   Breathlessly interrupting each other, Ryoga and Ranko
explained the situation, taking time to explain to Crono and his
companions exactly the sort of horror Happosai embodied. "I don't
know how much more of that sort of torment Robo can take!" Ryoga
added.
   Crono scowled and unsheathed his katana. Marle nodded sharply,
and said, "Crono's right! We can't wait any longer. Robo needs
us."
   And so, the battle for the Tendo Dojo began, somewhat ahead of
schedule.

Chapter 18: Time for Revenge

   Magus waited uncomfortably in a side alley. Uncomfortably,
because he was waiting with a twenty-four-year-old eight-year-old
girl who could easily overcome him should she ever decide it
necessary. Magus could, of course, easily kill her by physical
means (and the thought had its appeal), but his attack would have
to be swift and lethal. At any rate, he still abided by Ukyou's
injunction against killing, and he had no intention of breaking
that promise, save under the most extreme of circumstances.
   There was, of course, no substantial reason to kill her
anyway. The two of them were, for the time being at least,
allies. Not to mention the fact that Miss Hinako had absolutely
no knowledge of the discomfort she caused her companion. "Isn't
this exciting?" she whispered enthusiastically. "So many
delinquents at once!"
   "Hmph. Just make sure that delinquents are the only ones you
hit," Magus answered irritably.
   Miss Hinako scowled. "I always hit what I aim at, Magus." Then
she looked thoughtful. "Of course, my aim isn't always perfect, I
suppose."
   "Bakusai-Ten-Ketsu!" Ryoga's voice split the air, along with
the pattering sound of a section of stone wall being reduced to
powder by his powerful Breaking Point technique (a technique
Cologne taught Ryoga to use against Ranma, in an attempt to
further Ranma's training; with it, Ryoga was able to find and
attack the key stress points in any solid object, reducing the
object to shards--fortunately, the technique didn't work on
living creatures). The collapse of the stone wall indicated that
the frontal assault had begun, and attention would, hopefully, be
shifted away from where Magus and Miss Hinako waited.
   Miss Hinako whispered, "That's our cue."
   Magus grabbed the girl ungently by the shoulders, causing her
to yelp in protest, and hovered with her up to the roof of the
Tendo home. He wanted this over with as quickly as possible. All
the discomfort Miss Hinako caused him was doubled while he was in
physical contact with her. If he generated so much as a magical
spark toward the girl, he could be sucked dry in an instant.
   Magus set Miss Hinako down and began adjusting his gloves.
Miss Hinako rubbed her sore shoulders. "No need to be so rough,"
she scowled reproachfully.
   "Just watch for your target, girl," Magus answered brusquely.
"And when I start casting magic, keep your little parlor trick
away from my targets."
   "You don't need to remind me," Miss Hinako answered. What
Magus had already known--that Miss Hinako was a bottomless pit
for magic users--had been rediscovered by the others in their
attempts to craft Double Techs to use on their foes. That problem
alone made her somewhat undesirable in the cooperative combat
style. Magus, too, disliked combining his skills with anyone
else's (save under special circumstances), believing that doing
so reduced the effectiveness of his own techniques. So, the two
of them had elected to work their abilities independently from an
excellent vantage atop the Tendo home.
   They didn't have long to wait. Ryoga's unsubtle entry into the
Tendo property had been like kicking a hornets' nest. Blue and
red uniformed band members appeared at every opening, running
toward the point of detonation. This time, no one stepped forward
to fight one-on-one; the band immediately stepped into a
formation recognizable as that of their 'Dischord' attack. The
Director himself soon appeared, tugging on his uniform jacket as
he ran (the attack had evidently caught him at an inconvenient
time). "Now," Magus whispered to Miss Hinako.
   Miss Hinako already had her coin in hand. "Happo-50-Yen-
Satsu!" she shouted, and green light poured forth. The beam
struck the Director dead on, and he almost immediately collapsed
into a drained heap. Miss Hinako, now in adult form, flipped the
coin into the air and caught it. "Like shooting ducks in a
barrel," she noted with satisfaction.
   Magus ignored her, instead preparing his own technique. The
band below had fallen into disarray, but was already collecting
itself into three groups around three musicians, who had
apparently taken charge with the loss of their leader. The three
musicians appeared to be a trombonist, a saxophonist, and a
drummer. Magus chose the group led by the drummer, and began to
weave his spell. "Dark Mist," he chanted, and a wave of blackness
swept across the drummer and his soldiers. They all reeled in the
sudden nausea the debilitating spell caused, and several actually
dropped to the ground.
   Miss Hinako initiated her technique once more, and green light
cut through the ranks of the trombonist's legion, leaving a trail
of drained musicians in its wake. The trombonist herself was able
to leap out of the light's path. Miss Hinako staggered a moment,
and then recovered. "I'm taking on too much energy," she
muttered. "Better dispose of some of it. Happo-No-Yen-Coin-
Return!" The reversed flow of energy struck the saxophonist's
troop dead center, scattering many.
   By now, the three section leaders had had enough of presenting
themselves as targets to their strategically placed adversaries.
They quickly led the thirty remaining band members into the Tendo
home, stopping only long enough to collect their incapacitated
Director.
   "Well, we've done our part," noted Miss Hinako. "The rest of
the battle is in their hands."
   Magus frowned. "You may stay if you wish, but I don't intend
to leave anything to chance." With that, Magus stepped off of the
edge of the roof and glided into the house through an open
window.
   Miss Hinako scowled. She was no coward, but the battle plan
called for she and Magus to guard the exits and pick off any who
attempted to escape. It had been agreed that none should be
allowed to pull back and regroup. With Magus gone, her sentry
duty would be more difficult. The man was insufferable.
"Delinquent," she muttered crossly. Hopefully, he wouldn't get in
anyone's way.
* * * * * *
   Meanwhile, Marle, Crono, Lucca, Ukyou, Mousse, and Akane were
beginning their frontal assault. The retreating band had
evidently forgotten that their base of operations was an acquired
possession, and had locked the front door to prevent pursuit.
Akane withdrew her own housekey, unlocked the door, and stood
back. "Megabomb," chanted Lucca, augmenting one of her home-built
cluster bombs with her own fire magic. She cracked the door open,
tossed in the grenade and slammed the door again. A chain of
explosions could be heard.
   When the sounds died away, Crono and Ukyou opened the door
again and dashed through, passing the four singed and unconscious
musicians who had formerly been guarding the door. Another four
charged across the room towards them. "Tazer," Ukyou and Crono
cried in unison. Ukyou tossed a spread of specially prepared
spatulas, each trailing a thin copper wire. Each struck an
oncoming opponent. Crono concentrated and channeled a bolt of
carefully controlled lightning into Ukyou. Ukyou's body emitted a
yellow glow as the magical electricity flowed along the copper
wires and into the band members, who were in turn lightly toasted
by the spell.
   The moment Ukyou and Crono's technique was complete, another
ten musicians streamed in, forcing the two to draw their weapons
and fight in much closer quarters. Their combat was made easier,
however, by Akane and Marle, who had used their distraction to
sneak in via a window. "Crushed Ice," they called, and Marle
began to concentrate. The air chilled, and roughly two-thirds of
the attacking band members found themselves encased in a large
chunk of ice. Akane wasted no time in smashing her way through
the glacial mass with her mallet, reducing the ice to shards and
the trapped musicians to unconsciousness. The odds thus reduced,
Akane and Marle joined Ukyou and Crono in fighting one-on-one,
while Mousse and Lucca ran past them into the house.
* * * * * *
   Thatsenov was not the bravest or most skilled of the
Director's minions. The only reason he was first-chair tuba was,
simply, because he was the only tuba player. This wasn't to say
that he couldn't fight, of course. He was the best Tuba-Kwan-Do
fighter on the planet (although, he was quite possibly the only
Tuba-Kwan-Do fighter on the planet), and more than capable of
holding his own in most fights. He had even learned a few solo
sonic attacks, something few others in the band had accomplished.
But in spite of all this he much preferred the safety fighting in
groups provided, and was, therefore, quite uncomfortable with the
task he had been given: to stand guard over the incapacitated
Director until the enemy was defeated.
   The reluctant guardian took some comfort from the fact that to
get to his secure location in the attic, the enemy would have to
fight its way past everyone else below. That final comfort was
stripped away when Thatsenov felt a presence behind him. He spun,
shouting, "Who goes there?" but found only shadows.
   Suddenly, a keen blade parted the air, once, and then twice.
Thatsenov's combat tuba fell from his clammy hands in three neat
pieces and clattered to the dusty floor. A figure clad in black
glided silently into the light, a long, gleaming scythe held
ready in one hand. Thatsenov looked up into the pale face of
Death.
   "Are you ready to dance with the reaper, boy?" whispered the
voice of Death.
   With that, Thatsenov fainted.
   Magus nudged the musician's unconscious form with one foot, a
satisfied smirk playing across his thin lips. He turned his eyes
onto the Director, and found the weakened man studying the boy
with a resigned expression. "The fellow never did have much
backbone, more's the pity," he rasped. His eyes fastened onto
Magus's. "So what now?"
   In answer, Magus strode over to the helpless man, slung him
over one shoulder, and glided out of the room.
* * * * * *
   Genma, Soun, Ayla, Ranma, Frog, and Ryoga had circled around
the house to attempt an attack from the rear. They had
encountered resistance less numerous but no less determined.
   The opposition did give Ayla, Genma, and Soun a chance to try
the Triple Tech they had devised. "Area Kick!" The three of them
launched themselves back and fourth across the room in an
intricate web of airborne kicks, striking every adversary and
dropping many. Genma, Soun, Ranma, and Frog engaged the
remainder, giving Ayla and Ryoga the opportunity to slip past.
   The two of them met Mousse and Lucca at the base of the
staircase. "Robo's in Nabiki's room," Ryoga informed them, and
the four headed upstairs.
   In the upstairs hallway, they found real opposition. "This, I
believe, is as far as you go," remarked Troffimov tonelessly.
Beside him, Noranov grinned eagerly and Blattislov glared
hatefully.
   "We'll just see about that," snarled Mousse. "Lucca?"
   Lucca nodded, and the two of them shouted, "Thermal Web!"
Mousse unleashed a number of chains in a fan-shaped pattern,
fastening the ends to the ground where he stood. He then leapt to
a wall and produced another fan of chains. He repeated this
process a few more times until a spider-web-like network of
chains festooned the area, most densely around the three section
leaders. Lucca reached out to touch the nearest chain, and glowed
red as she channeled her fire magic into the web of chains. In
moments, the entire network was glowing white-hot.
   "Just try to stop us now," Lucca taunted them smugly.
   Noranov laughed, "We don't have to move to attack you, you
fools! Horns up!"
   Before anyone could react, the familiar tune of 'Dischord'
filled the air. Oddly, Ranma could feel no affect. "Ha! It didn't
work! There's not enough of you."
   Troffimov's eyebrows lifted condescendingly, and Blattislov
(the only one able to talk while playing) snarled, "Look at your
friend, and then tell us again whether there's enough of us."
   Ranma whirled along with Mousse and Ryoga to see Lucca
hovering about a foot off the ground. Her body was vibrating
visibly, and her teeth were clenched. Blattislov smiled a
venomous smile and said, "Now, you're gonna do just as we say, or
we'll rip your friend into kibble, understand?" The drummer added
a subtle extra rhythm to his drumming, and Lucca cried out in
pain.
   Mousse was incensed. "Put her down, you fiend!"
   "I don't think so," Blattislov responded. We'll just wait, all
nice and cozy, until these chains cool down. Then, we'll collect
all your friends and put you all into a nice, safe box. You lose,
homeboy."
   Mousse looked ready to do something rash, so Ayla snapped,
"Mousse not do anything! Ayla not want friend Lucca dead, and
Mousse also not want! There nothing we can do."
   Ryoga gritted his teeth. Once more, there was absolutely
nothing he could do. He had more than enough reason to feel
depressed, if only he could-
   "That's enough of that, bandana-boy!" barked Blattislov. "You
even start to think of trying one of those Shi-Shi-Whatevers and
the girl dies. And that goes for all of you. No fancy-pants
martial arts tricks." Continuing his rhythms with one hand, the
drummer reached out with the other to carefully feel a chain.
"Ah, nice and cool. All right, follow us."
   The mistake that Blattislov made at this point was really not
his fault at all. After all, having just obtained four new
prisoners, it was perfectly understandable that he should want to
make sure that the original two were still secure, particularly
since the four backup players had been dispatched to help repel
the invaders. So, Blattislov opened the door to Nabiki's room
just far enough to see in. Unfortunately for him, it was also
just enough for Happosai to see out...
   Happosai was lying in a happy daze. Robo had tired once again,
and temporarily stopped her abuse. As soon as Happosai recovered
his own strength he would be free to show his boundless affection
for all females once again.
   Happosai's demented daydreaming was interrupted by the click
of a door opening. Was it, perhaps, that nice Director fellow,
come to deliver another luscious prisoner? No, it was just his
flunky, Blattislov. But wait! Just beyond...yes, it was!
   While Happosai had not dwelled long at the Village of Chinese
Amazons, he had stayed long enough to learn of an intriguing
artifact that had existed many thousands of years in the past.
All he had to go on was a few sketches and some vague references
in a few ancient documents, but Happosai had learned that one of
the founders of the village had possessed unique underwear of
astounding quality: A bikini, crafted from the grey fur of an
animal that no longer existed. The memory had haunted Happosai's
thoughts for many years, before he finally resigned himself to
the fact that those wondrous undergarments would remain ever
beyond his reach. But now, through some twist of fate, Happosai's
wish had been granted. And all that stood in his way was a wall
of sound and six tired musicians.
   Blattislov, satisfied that the prisoners were still secure,
carefully closed the door and turned to taunt their new captives
once again. No sooner had he done so than a loud explosion could
be heard. An object like a small cannonball reduced Nabiki's door
to splinters, burst through Blattislov's bass drum, and clamped
lecherously onto Ayla's chest.
   Without the steady backbone rhythms only a drum could provide,
the 'Dischord' attack fizzled, dropping Lucca to the ground like
a sack of potatoes. Ayla calmly pried Happosai loose and regarded
him with the sort of look one normally might reserve for slugs
found in one's salad. "Must...have...fur..." mumbled Happosai,
groping weakly towards Ayla's clothing. He had evidently been
quite drained by his breakout. Ayla casually tossed Happosai at
Noranov, and the tiny pervert evidently decided that the stunned
trombonist would do as a temporary substitute.
   While the enraged musician beat Happosai with her trombone,
her fellow section leaders tried desperately and futilely to
overcome their four opponents. Blattislov, unbalanced by his
wrecked drum, was the first to fall, the point-blank target of a
now unrestrained Ryoga's 'Shi-Shi-Hokudan'.
   Noranov (having disposed of Happosai by sticking him into the
bell of her horn and blasting him out of an open window with a
masterfully executed solo rendition of the '1812 Overture'), was
felled by a single, powerful uppercut, courtesy of Ayla.
Troffimov was floored by a dual attack of 'Hypno Waves', one
provided by Lucca, and the other by Mousse.
   "Well, that's that," said Lucca.
   "Robo!" Ryoga exclaimed, suddenly remembering the reason for
their haste. As if in answer, Robo punched through the wall,
approximately three feet to the left of the open door. She had a
haggard, haunted look in her eyes, and her left cheek
periodically twitched with an unhealthy facial tick. Her hands
were clenched into fists, and, for some reason, she was wet from
head to toe. "Robo?" Ryoga asked, uneasily.
   "Must...sterilize...pervert..." Robo mumbled tonelessly. She
carefully eyed the room, obviously looking for stray lechers.
   "Robo, snap out of it!" Ryoga implored her, grabbing her by
the shoulders. Almost instantly, he let go. "Yuck! Happosai
drool!"
   "Sterilize...Sterilize..." Robo answered in the same monotone.
   By then, the others fighting below had finished mopping up
with the remainder of the Kielowitz International Martial Arts
Marching Band, and had joined them in the hall. "So, what do we
do with them now?" asked Ukyou.
   "Well, we can't exactly kill them," said Ranma. "But we can't
really keep them prisoner, either."
   "Sterilize...pervert..." Robo added helpfully. A few eyed her
with concern.
   "Well, it would seem that you didn't need my help after all,"
came the dry, mocking tones of Magus. "I am astounded." The
caustic dark sorcerer strode into view, Director slung easily
over one shoulder.
   "Magus," Ryoga noted dully. Then his eyes narrowed. "Aren't
you supposed to be on the roof?"
   Magus ignored him, carefully setting the Director upright.
Even captured, drained, and helpless, the man exuded an aura of
self-confidence and defiance. "So, you've won this battle. But we
will be victorious, eventually, unless you intend to destroy us.
But having fifty corpses on your hands would be a trifle
difficult to explain, would it not?" The Director laughed
confidently.
   Robo suddenly seemed distracted. "Sterilize...pervert..." She
paused, face twitching twice. Her fevered eyes semi-focused onto
the Director. "Must...sterilize...Must...sterilize...Oh, you will
do." Robo began advancing on the helpless man, whose evil laugh
suddenly caught in his throat.
   "I suppose we could let her kill him," Ranma suggested
casually. "One body wouldn't be too hard to hide."
   The Director paled. "You wouldn't dare!"
   "Sterilize...Director...Sterilize...Director..." Robo chanted
over and over again, still advancing.
   "Then again, I'm sure we could come to some sort of
agreement," the Director sweated. Ryoga squeamishly gripped Robo,
preventing her from doing anything nasty to their prisoner. Robo
didn't even seem to notice, continuing to walk in place, chanting
her goal over and over again.
   Suddenly, Ayla grinned. "Ayla have idea. Joketsuzoku need
strong fighters. Joketsuzoku also need men. Marching band have
many men, and all fighters. Exile to Joketsuzoku."
   "That sounds reasonable," responded Marle, sharing Ayla's
grin. "What do you say, Director? Exile, or Robo?"
   "Sterilize...Director...Sterilize...Director..." Robo
encouraged.
   "Exile would be fair," the Director hastened to answer.
Inwardly, he crowed victoriously. The fools! Wherever this
'Joketsuzoku' was, he and his band would escape eventually, and
return to finish the fight more favorably.
   "Great! Magus, go get Miss Hinako," Marle ordered. Magus
scowled, but could see no reason to refuse, particularly with
Ukyou looking on. "I think it's about time we helped Ayla with
her problems."

Chapter 19: Back in Time

   As it turned out, a nice, hot shower was all that it took to
rid Robo of his obsessively homicidal behavior (not to mention
his slick coating of pervert saliva). Once he was back in robot
form, he seemed to have forgotten all about his hours of
captivity, complaining only about a section of corrupt memory
that seemed to have developed in his mental circuits. At Lucca's
suggestion, he reformatted the bad sectors of his mind, and all
was well again. Well, almost. His blunt metal fingers twitched
involuntarily each time the Director was in his field of vision,
almost as though they were grasping a neck and twisting. This, if
nothing else, was enough to keep the Director from attempting any
foolish escape attempts.
   Every band member had been accounted for, including two that
had tried to escape only to be cut down by Miss Hinako. All were
now gathered in the Tendo living room under the disciplinarian's
watchful eye and 5 yen piece. By virtue of Lucca's Gate key,
Ayla's time Gate had been reopened, and Ayla had already returned
to the past to inform her people of the new arrivals, and to
deliver the undamaged and backup instruments owned by the
Kielowitz International Martial Arts Marching Band. While she did
so, Crono was briefing the defeated band on their punishment.
   He described the war between the Joketsuzoku and the Jusenkyo
thousands of years in the past (that shocked most of the band,
especially the Director, who now realized how final their exile
would be). Crono took care not to mention the fact that the
Joketsuzoku were in dire straits; he didn't want their new
conscripts to think of deserting to the Jusenkyo. He informed
them that their instruments would be returned to them once they
were through the Gate, and surrounded by thousands of capable
amazon warriors. Crono also reminded them that no quarter would
be asked or given. This was a real war, and the fighters fought
to kill. This bothered none of the band members. They had been
trained to kill, and had been fighting non-lethally merely
because they had been ordered to take prisoners.
   By the time Crono had finished his lengthy speech, Ayla had
returned (Ayla was strong enough to carry all of the instruments
in one trip). In groups of three, the Director's minions began
their exodus into the past. Mere moments after the last had
passed through, Cologne and Kasumi entered. (Not long after the
battle had ended, Mousse had telephoned the Neko Hanten with the
news of their victory, and Cologne had decided to accompany
Kasumi back to the Tendo home.)
   Noting the mostly empty living room, Cologne asked, "So where
are our foes?"
   "They're history," Ryoga grinned.
   Cologne glanced at him with a raised eyebrow before studying
the time Gate. "This, I presume, is the Gate Ayla described? And
do you intend to follow her to the past to aid in her struggle?"
After listening to the affirmative responses for a few moments,
Cologne nodded. "I shall accompany you. I cannot deny that I am
extremely interested in the origins of my people. You will also
need all the help you can muster if you intend to face an evil as
great as that represented by Lavos and the Sorcerer of Jusenkyo."
   "And it would be unforgivable for me to allow my loves to face
this evil unprotected!" boomed the bold voice of Tatewaki Kunou.
The eloquent, if irritating, would-be samurai had just entered
the room, followed by-
   "Nabiki!" exclaimed Lucca. "Where have you been?"
   Nabiki brusquely brushed Lucca's concern aside. "I'm coming,
too."
   "Huh?" asked Akane. "But why? You can't fight!"
   "I have my reasons," Nabiki answered. Then she smiled slyly,
"Besides, where would you prefer to have a suspected criminal
like myself? Alone with the Epoch, or surrounded by thousands of
Amazon warriors?"
   "No!" wailed Soun. "I can't bear the thought of my poor Nabiki
in the hands of those Jusenkyo savages!"
   "Fear not, Mr. Tendo," Kunou vowed, brandishing his bokken,
"Neither of your daughters shall come to harm so long as I live.
So I swear!"
   "Besides," interjected Marle, "she'll be perfectly safe, as
long as she stays away from the fighting. Unless we lose, of
course, in which case Lavos will destroy everything in five years
anyway."
   "Forward, then, to victory!" announced Kunou. He grabbed the
arms of the two closest individuals, who happened to be Frog and
Ryoga, and dragged the startled pair through the Gate with him.
   Ayla snorted impatiently. "He big fool with big mouth."
   "That's the truth," agreed Akane and Ranma together.
   "Ayla go next. Crono, Marle, come with Ayla?" The two nodded,
and followed. The next to disappear were Soun, Genma, and Magus.
   "You want to go next, big sister?" asked Akane.
   "Actually, I thought I'd go last, with Ukyou and Miss Hinako,"
Nabiki answered.
   "Huh? Why?" asked Ukyou. Nabiki whispered something in her
ear. Ukyou's eyes widened in surprise. "Yeah, that's a good
reason, all right."
   "What is?" asked Ranma.
   Ukyou looked nervous. "I can't say, Ranchan. Just trust me.
We'll make sure Nabiki doesn't misbehave."
   After much raising of eyebrows, Mousse, Lucca, and Cologne
entered the Gate, followed by Robo, Ranma, and Akane. Ukyou
whirled excitedly towards Nabiki. "So what's this about Shampoo?
Do you remember that she's really a girl? What about Ranchan?"
   "No, Shampoo is just a cat," Nabiki answered automatically.
Miss Hinako echoed the response. Then Nabiki shook her head, as
if trying to clear it. "But a very smart cat. I think we should
bring her with us." Nabiki walked out the door, and returned with
a cardboard box punctured with holes.
   "That's Shampoo?" Ukyou asked. Nabiki nodded in response.
Then, Ukyou remembered something Lucca had mentioned. "Wait, all
four of us can't go at once. Do you mind waiting a moment, Miss
Hinako?"
   Though somewhat puzzled, Miss Hinako agreed. Nabiki, Ukyou,
and Shampoo entered the swirling circle.
   Traveling through time via a time gate was not nearly as
comfortable as riding the Epoch. There was the sensation of
falling, but skewed, as if one were falling sideways. The scenery
was unremarkable, though rather bizarre--full of dark blues and
wavy purple lines that seemed to stream past. After only a few
moments, a dark circle appeared ahead of them, and they tumbled
through to land inelegantly on a patch of bare ground. Around
them stood the others, as well as the Kielowitz Marching Band,
and no less than a thousand semi-primitive-looking warriors,
nearly all women. After a moment, Miss Hinako joined them.
   "That's everyone," noted Lucca. She pressed a button on her
Gate key and the time Gate closed, returning to its spherical
shape. "What's in the box,  Beeky?"
   "A surprise," answered Nabiki. She had no chance to say more,
before Ayla spoke up.
   "I tell Joketsuzoku that us not fight until tomorrow," Ayla
explained. "Music-makers still tired, we still tired. Joketsuzoku
will fight today. We go to village, make plans, and sleep." The
suggestion was met with overwhelming approval.
* * * * * *
   Each of the newcomers was assigned a sparsely furnished tent,
each equipped with a coarse woolen mat for sleeping and a pit for
building a small fire. Magus, upon entering his own tent, was
quite unsurprised to find Nabiki waiting casually for him. Her
aura had been clearly visible to him even before he entered. She
was alone. He smirked coldly at her. "Somehow I suspected that
those 'reasons' you mentioned would involve me. What business do
you have with me?"
   "You can undo whatever it is that you did to my mind," Nabiki
frowned.
   "My dear, I have no idea what you are talking about," Magus
replied. He quickly scanned the area once again, confirming that
no other auras were nearby. He could speak freely. "I am certain
you must have realized by now that I have altered Ukyou and
Ranko's minds. Why would you think that you have been affected?
Have you been imagining that you are actually a man? Or a cat?"
Magus chuckled.
   Nabiki grinned back, but her smile never touched her eyes.
"Actually, it's what I can't imagine that has been bothering me.
I know that it is quite preposterous that Ranko could be a man
named..." Nabiki glanced at the back of her hand, where she had
written a name she wanted to remember, "named 'Ranma', or that
Shampoo might actually be a Chinese Amazon. It's absolutely
unthinkable. And that's what's bothering me." Nabiki glared at
Magus. "I've never been so certain of anything in my life. I know
from experience that just about anything is possible, yet I can't
seem to even consider those two possibilities."
   "Everyone's mind has a limit," suggested Magus
condescendingly.
   Nabiki ignored him and continued, "I had a little chat with
Gosunkugi, and he showed me the equipment you had used. Quite an
elaborate setup, for a spell designed to affect only two people.
Even Gos, pathetic as he is, seemed to think that you were
working a spell designed to affect a lot of people. A whole lot
of people. And, it seems, one of those people was me. Playing
tricks on my mind was never part of the bargain. Undo whatever
you did to me, and I'll let you get back to your devious little
plot. No one has to know."
   Magus began idly toying with his gloves. "A fascinating
hypothesis, girl. But even if I had cast a spell like the one you
describe, I'm afraid that it wouldn't be possible to free one
person without freeing all."
   "Then free everyone," snapped Nabiki. "You can find some other
way to do whatever it is that you were going to do with Ranko and
Ukyou."
   "Why should I? My plans are proceeding quite well as they are.
If you are so concerned about the ever dubious quality of your
mind, rest assured that any spells I have cast will be revoked
once those plans are complete."
   "What plans?" demanded Nabiki.
   "Why, for Ranma to decide to marry Ukyou, of course," Magus
responded.
   "There is no Ranma, only Ranko," Nabiki insisted. Then she
frowned at herself, as though puzzled by something.
   "Exactly," chuckled the dark sorcerer. "Now, run along, Nabiki
Tendo. And enjoy your Dark Fruit," he finished with a sneer. With
a bit of mock-courtesy, he held open a flap of the tent door for
Nabiki to leave.
   "Happo-50-Yen-Satsu!" Magus had absolutely no time to react
before he was bathed in the greenish glow. As he collapsed to the
tent floor, he watched with cynical interest as a furious Miss
Hinako walked into the tent, followed by an even more furious
Ranma. Obviously, the two of them had been just outside the tent
the whole time, Ranma's aura masked by the teacher's impenetrable
anti-aura. Devious indeed.
   "I knew that you were a delinquent, but this is too much!"
scowled Miss Hinako.
   Magus ignored both of them for the moment, instead turning a
cold gaze onto Nabiki. "Altering your mind may not have been part
of the bargain," he growled, "but keeping silent was. You agreed
not to tell anyone of our dealings, or my activities."
   "And I followed that agreement to the letter. I never told
them anything. Of course, if anyone should happen to overhear our
discussions, well, that's not my concern."
   "Now, about that spell," Ranma suggested coldly.
   The sorcerer waved a hand dismissively. "Of course. There's
hardly any point in keeping it now, is there? But I will demand
one concession: I will release the spell, if what has been
learned in this tent stays in this tent. I will not have Ukyou,
or anyone else, know that I was responsible. I want your word on
it."
   "Sounds fair," answered Nabiki. "So long as you agree to clear
my name regarding the Epoch. Framing me was also definitely not
part of our bargain. I didn't sabotage it, but I imagine you
probably did. Perhaps to keep everyone from flitting around in
time while you finished your plans for Ukyou and...and..." Nabiki
frowned for a moment. "While you finished your plans," she
finished, somewhat disgruntled.
   Magus frowned. "You are entirely too clever, girl. Very well,
agreed."
   Nabiki began ticking off items on her fingers, "Okay, so the
bargain stands like this: Magus agrees to break the spells and
clear my unfairly tarnished name-" Ranma snorted at this, "-and
we agree to keep Magus's secrets and exact no further justice
upon him. Sound fair, Ranko? Miss Hinako?"
   "Well, I was kinda hoping for a little more justice," Ranma
muttered petulantly, cracking her knuckles.
   "Actually, I'd like to throw in one more term," said Miss
Hinako, eyes narrowing slightly. "No vengeance on either side. I
don't want Magus coming after any of us because we spoiled his
plans."
   "Good thinking. No vengeance, Magus," Nabiki added. Magus
snorted derisively, but his eyes did narrow thoughtfully.
   Each of the four gathered there swore to the terms given. Once
they were through, Magus produced a small stick from one of his
many pockets. It was about two inches in length, and was wrapped
in some sort of red cord. Magus reached into his cape and
withdrew his scythe, which glinted in the dim light. He flipped
the stick into the air, and sliced it neatly in two with the keen
blade of his chosen weapon. Each half flared blindingly bright
for a moment, and then vanished.
   Nabiki and Miss Hinako reeled for a moment as the mental
barriers were removed from their minds. Each could remember all
that they had happened in the previous days. Miss Hinako was the
first to speak, "I'll have to apologize to Miss Kounji about
Shampoo."
   "So, I can change back, now?" Ranma asked eagerly.
   In answer, Magus produced an empty flask from another pocket.
"Fill this with water and splash yourself with it," Magus
answered curtly. "It will remove the block I placed on your
curse."
   "Everyone is back to normal, now?" Nabiki asked.
   Magus nodded. "Everyone back in your own time returned to
normal once we traveled here, though the spell would have been
reinstated had I returned with the spell intact. Now, if you
would kindly leave my tent, I would like to recover my strength
before fulfilling the rest of my bargain tomorrow."
   Ranma and Miss Hinako left the tent. As Nabiki was leaving she
turned to deliver a few final words, "Oh, and Magus? Don't feel
too bad about your plan not working. It was doomed from the
start."
   Magus raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
   "One teensy bit of information that I never bothered to tell
you:" Nabiki lowered her voice and smiled, "Ranma and my sister
are in love. Bye, now!" Nabiki exited the tent.
   Magus scowled. Truly, that would have been information worth
knowing. If there was one thing he had learned in his lifetime,
it was that love could be a formidable obstacle, and a virtually
limitless source of power. His own love for his sister had
granted him the resilience and tenacity that had kept him alive
to this day. Nabiki was right. His plan had been doomed from the
start, as Akane's love would have shaken her free of the spell,
eventually. There was, in fact, little he could do for Ukyou,
now, save comfort her when Ranma made the choice he must
eventually make. A pity.
   Magus struggled into an upright position. Most who had fallen
prey to Miss Hinako's technique would have taken much longer to
recover, but Magus was a quick healer, and could draw strength
from the darkness around him. His mind returned to Nabiki. Truly,
Magus had underestimated her. She was a survivor after all.
Though she lacked the physical stamina of many, her deviously
clever mind made up for her lack of raw power. Idly, Magus
wondered if his ill-fated collection of survivors might have
fared better, had Nabiki been among them. Such conjecture was, of
course, futile. Still, Magus vowed never to underestimate the
girl again.
* * * * * *
   As she walked away from the tent, Ranma was deep in thought.
Finally, she spoke, "I still don't understand one thing."
   "And what's that, Ranma?" asked Nabiki curiously.
   "Why'd he change Shampoo, too?"
   Nabiki laughed. "That should be obvious, even to you!"
   Ranma bristled. "What's that supposed to mean?"
   "Think, Ranma. What was Shampoo doing when she first came to
town?"
   Ranma thought for a moment. Then his eyes widened. "Oh, yeah.
She was tryin' to kill my female self."
   Nabiki nodded. "And, for a while, everyone forgot that you had
a male form. Magus obviously didn't want Shampoo to kill you
before Ukyou had had a chance to win your heart."
   Ranma blushed for a moment. Then, reluctantly, she said,
"Thanks, Nabiki, for helping me out. What do I owe you?"
   Nabiki grinned. Ranma thought she knew Nabiki well, and
perhaps she did. But not this time. "Consider it a gift. I've
been feeling...generous lately." Nabiki absently fingered the
spearhead she wore.
   Ranma gawked at her with undisguised amazement.
   Nabiki lifted an eyebrow. "I suppose if you insist on paying
me, it would be most rude to refuse..." Ranma hastily shook her
head. "I thought not. Besides, I didn't do it specifically for
you. My own interests were at stake, too. I can't have strange
sorcerers messing with my mind at will. Bad for business."
   Ranma smiled, and sighed with relief. That, for better or for
worse, sounded like the Nabiki she knew. Ranma had had more than
enough of people around her not acting like themselves.

Chapter 20: Wartime

   The next day, everyone gathered at the center of the village.
Shampoo had been restored by Nabiki (obviously, Ranma couldn't do
it; it was uncertain which prospect unnerved him more:
approaching Shampoo in cat form before applying the cure, or
having to deal with a naked, extremely grateful human Shampoo
afterwards), and was determined to be at the front lines when the
fighting began. She had been as startled as Mousse had when she
learned that Ayla was one of the founders of the Joketsuzoku, and
felt honored to help them fight their war.
   Mousse himself was in a pickle. The moment the spell had been
broken, his obsessive love for Shampoo had come crashing back.
Yet, his budding romance with Lucca was still fresh in his mind.
For the first time in his life, Mousse's devotion to Shampoo was
slipping. Overhearing his half-crazed mutterings regarding Lucca
and Shampoo, Kunou, no stranger to multiple loves (or obsessions,
as the case may be), had offered sympathetic (if overbearing and
impractical) advice to the torn boy. Mousse ungraciously
responded with a barrage of blunt hidden weapons that left the
arrogant upperclassman in a crumpled heap.
   Lucca, for her part, felt cheated, and perhaps justifiably so.
The romance was just as fresh in her mind, and Shampoo's
reintrusion onto the scene was most unwelcome. Where Lucca had
before been indifferent to Shampoo, confident that she could win
Mousse over eventually, now she had become openly hostile to the
Chinese Amazon. Shampoo, never one to back down from a challenge,
met Lucca's hostility with smug confidence.
   "Fire girl never turn Mousse's stupid head," Shampoo informed
Lucca, when she first noticed Lucca's anger. "Mousse always
faithful to Shampoo, when not under spell." For her own part,
Shampoo wasn't entirely certain that that was true. Mousse stared
with disturbing regularity at both Lucca and herself, and Shampoo
had the uncomfortable suspicion that it had nothing to do with
his phenomenally poor vision. Leaving nothing to chance, Shampoo
occasionally engaged in an activity which, to the untrained eye,
might resemble flirting with Mousse. Of course, she would never
actually flirt with Mousse. 'I'm just getting back at Lucca,' she
told herself firmly, 'she has no right to be angry with me. SHE
didn't spend the last several days as a cat! I care nothing for
Mousse. Ranma is my husband. Mousse is weak, stupid--a NOTHING.'
But no matter how she tried to convince herself, some part of
Shampoo's mind envisioned a future without Mousse doting on her,
and dreaded the thought.
   Ukyou, to a lesser extent, also felt cheated. For a brief, but
wonderful, time, she had had Ranma all to herself (even if he had
been stuck as a girl, and on the verge of a nervous breakdown).
Now, once again, she had to share him with both Shampoo and
Akane. The whole situation had put her into a rather bad mood,
and she was looking forward to taking out her aggression on the
Jusenkyo armies in the coming struggle.
   Ryoga had much less trouble adjusting. While enchanted, he had
still felt that Ranma (or Ranko) was standing between himself and
Akane. If he had ever stopped to wonder how she could have been
standing between them, he might have found himself at a loss. But
the truth was, Ryoga most often acted according to impulse,
rarely stopping to think whether a course of action was sensible
or not. So, when he returned to normal, it was business as usual
for Ryoga, with only a small mental footnote to remind him that,
for some reason, he had thought Ranma was a girl for several
days.
   Nabiki had been cleared of her wrongdoing by Magus, who was
now perfectly willing to return the dreamstone box he had removed
from the Epoch. He claimed that he had sabotaged the vehicle in
another attempt to persuade them from trying to destroy Lavos, a
quest he still considered foolhardy. However, he did deny ever
having flown the Epoch anywhere, which left the mystery partly
unsolved. 'And so will it remain, if I have any say in the
matter,' thought Cologne.
   But there was another matter that concerned Cologne even more
than preserving the secret of her unauthorized time travel. Once
freed from Magus's spell, she had recognized it as a subtle and
insidious type of hypnotic suggestion--the most efficient types
of mental control are those that set the mind against itself.
Whoever had cast the spell had merely added a few minor details
to the memories of all the victims, and left it to the victims'
own minds to work out how the new knowledge could be possible.
Cologne felt it imperative to learn the identity of the sorcerer
who had enchanted the town. Who had enchanted HER.
   Akane and Ranma, of course, had their own happy reunion. The
moment the spell had been broken, Akane had realized how rotten
her treatment of Ranma had been, however unintentional. She had
found Ranma, just as she had been applying hot water to herself
to finally return to normal after having used Magus's vial. At
first, Ranma had been overjoyed to be on speaking terms with his
fiancee once more. After a few minutes of conversation, however,
Ranma had begun to realize how dangerously close to commitment
the words he had hysterically spoken the day before had brought
him. His first mistake was probably when he began to plead
insanity.
   Akane had dropped her tenderness like a rock. "Insanity?!?
What do you mean by that?"
   Ranma's second mistake, was to have answered that question.
   "RANMA YOU IDIOT!!!"
   Ranma's third mistake was failing to dodge Akane's mallet.
   So, as Ranma and the others made plans for the coming
struggle, he and Akane were once again not on speaking terms.
Still, Ranma was almost relieved. As far as he was concerned,
everything was back to normal. Such as normal was.
   It had been agreed that most of them would help the
Joketsuzoku warriors in the main battle, but a group of seven
would try to infiltrate the heart of the enemy camp and take down
the Sorcerer of Jusenkyo himself. Those seven were to be the most
powerful fighters and magic-users of the group: Cologne, Ranma,
Lucca, Magus, Robo (in robot form, this time), Frog, and Ayla.
Nabiki, not really suited for combat, had volunteered to put her
minor medical training to work aiding the wounded in the struggle
to come.
* * * * * *
   A few hours later, Akane was scanning the horizon, looking for
some sign of the huge army they were about to fight. Ayla had
provided a few more details regarding their tactical situation.
As she had mentioned, the Joketsuzoku were in dire straits. For
quite some time now, Ayla's crafty strategies had been abandoned
in favor of merely trying to halt the enemy's assault, and
without a great deal of success. Each day, the Jusenkyo armies
would battle the Joketsuzoku from dawn until dusk, and at dusk
the Jusenkyo had inevitably gained a few miles of territory. It
was Ayla's hope that the new additions to the army would be
enough to shatter the oncoming foes, or at the very least,
confuse them long enough for the special strike force to take out
their leader, the Sorcerer of Jusenkyo.
   There. Akane could just barely pick out a few tiny, black dots
on the far horizon. The few dots became hundreds, and then
thousands, until it seemed that there was a solid mass of foes
approaching.
   Abruptly, Akane realized that her allies had begun to move
towards the oncoming mass. Not wanting to be left behind (though
not particularly eager to move ahead), Akane marched with them.
All too soon, the opposing armies collided.
   A fierce looking warrior with a spear charged at Akane. Akane
stepped sideways, grabbed the spear, and swung the spearman into
a group of Jusenkyo-cursed wolf-soldiers that were approaching
from the left. Continuing the motion, Akane's leg whirled around
to impact a sword-bearing warrior, knocking him senseless. A
spear drove towards Akane's head. She casually ducked it, lashing
out at its owner with a fist while kicking backwards at a warrior
who had tried to sneak up behind her. The spearman collapsed
bonelessly, while the warrior gasped for breath. Before he could
draw one, however, Akane had grabbed him and thrown him at a
group of three that had chosen just the wrong moment to strike.
   Akane was granted a moment to breathe, and she almost laughed.
These guys were pathetic. They were no more difficult than the
hordes of boys that she used to have to fight every morning
before school. Akane scowled a moment at the memory. That moron
Kunou had declared that no one would be allowed to date Akane
unless they were able to defeat her in battle. So, naturally,
hundreds of Akane's hormone-crazed classmates made the attempt.
Daily. All at once. It had eventually led Akane to hate boys with
a passion. It had only stopped when Ranma publicly beat the
stuffing out of Kunou for the first time. "At least the pervert
was good for something," Akane muttered darkly. "Yipe!" Akane
barely moved in time to avoid a vicious stroke from a scimitar.
'Better keep my mind on the fight,' she thought. 'There's one
important difference between these guys and the boys at school:
These guys are trying to kill me.'
* * * * * *
   Ryoga yearned to come to Akane's aid, but everywhere he turned
were enemy warriors, generally trying to poke various sharp
objects into him. It rapidly became clear to Ryoga that he was
going to have to rescue himself before he could do anything to
help Akane. Ryoga's massive umbrella swept through the enemies
like an iron bar through tissue paper, and Ryoga unwrapped
several bandanas from his head, twirling them until their
whirling edges were as keen as razors, and launched them at a
number of foes. The bandanas cut through weapons, shields, and
the occasional limb with ease. Ryoga took a few more bandanas
from his head to prepare for the next assault. (It is uncertain
how many bandanas Ryoga is actually wearing at any given moment,
and it is unknown whether even Ryoga knows for sure. One thing is
certain, however. Ryoga always has enough bandanas to last
through any given battle while still leaving at least one on his
head.)
* * * * * *
   Bonbouri met skull with a sickening crunch. Shampoo pulled the
balloon-like mace free and whirled to meet her next opponent.
'This was what it truly means to be an Amazon,' she thought
exuberantly as she parried a descending sword. 'The battle rush,
enemies dropping before your skill... If only Ranma were here to
watch me fight!'
   The corner of Shampoo's eye caught sight of Ukyou. The
spatula-wielding girl threw a spread of throwing spatulas, and
each found its mark in a vital, but decidedly non-lethal, area of
the opponents body. Three dropped to the ground, clutching at a
knee or ankle, and one dropped his weapon as a sharpened spatula
thunked into his wrist. Shampoo smirked and asked, "Spatula girl
no have stomach for to kill?"
   Ukyou smirked in return, "Anyone can kill, Shampoo. It takes
true skill to cripple without killing." Ukyou paused to slam her
combat spatula into the face of an attacker. " Besides, this is
more efficient. Kill, and you stop one fighter. Cripple, and you
stop three." Ukyou gestured and Shampoo turned to look. Two
Jusenkyo soldiers had stopped fighting to drag a wounded comrade
to safety. Certainly they would be back, but probably not before
the battle was decided.
   Shampoo turned away from Ukyou's smug look. "What she know,
anyway?" Shampoo grumbled to herself petulantly. Still, as
Shampoo continued to fight, her bonbouri crushed fewer skulls,
and more legs.
* * * * * *
   Crono and Kunou were fighting back to back (to their mutual
disgust). "Your skill with the blade is almost passable," sneered
Kunou. "You might almost be a match for the mighty Blue Thunder."
   Cleaving a few opponents as he spoke, Crono answered that he
was already more than a match for the 'mighty' Blue Thunder,
sword-on-sword. Kunou barked a short laugh as he jerked his
bloodied bokken free of its latest unlucky target. "Surely you
jest? If it were not for your foul magicks, I would long since
have claimed your cowardly hide."
   Failing to hide his irritation, Crono responded that he had
beaten Kunou to a pulp many times without using any magic at all.
"Mere flukes," Kunou retorted. "A true warrior would not be
afraid to acknowledge his betters." Crono fought the urge to turn
that last statement back on Kunou, and began steadfastly to
ignore the arrogant kendo champion.
* * * * * *
   "Just like old times, eh Saotome?" asked Soun, fist connecting
with a jaw. "Watch your left."
   Genma kicked to the left and felt flesh and bone yield to his
strike, "Thanks Tendo. Remember when the Master stiffed us with
the bill at that seedy joint in Kyoto? Behind you."
   Soun grabbed the spearman that was approaching from behind and
threw him over his shoulder. "Exactly what I was thinking,
Saotome. Except that those men didn't have swords and spears.
Just dull knives and chopsticks. Together?"
   "Of course." The two of them leapt into the air with a dual
jump kick, simultaneously striking an unlucky spearman. "Yes,
those were the days."
   "What?" asked Soun, somewhat incredulously.
   "Not good days, mind. Just the days."
   "Of course," Soun answered, relaxing.
* * * * * *
   Mousse's heart wasn't really in the battle. Whenever anyone
would get too close, he would fire up his Hypno Wave for a few
moments until he had a space to himself again. But even
considering the device's effectiveness, the enemy seemed very
reluctant to approach Mousse. Perhaps it was because he didn't
seem quite sane.
   "Shampoo, my darling, I love you!" he muttered. "But Lucca.
What about Lucca?" Mousse flung out an arm, and a heavy chain
lashed out and wrapped around an archer who had decided to aim a
shot at the nearly immobile master of hidden weapons. Mousse
reeled him in, grabbed him by the neck and snarled, "Which one
should I choose?!?" The terrified archer, understanding not a
word, merely soiled his pants in response. Losing interest,
Mousse swung the man around and around on his chain, finally
flinging him into the air. The archer landed with a 'thud' atop a
few of his fellow soldiers. Suddenly, Mousse caught a flash of
purple out of the corner of his eye. "Shampoo!" he shouted,
suddenly terrified for his love's life. "How dare you try to harm
my Shampoo!?" Mousse leapt to his feet, half a dozen swords
suddenly sprouting fanlike from each sleeve, and began to run
towards the vaguely purple haze that he recognized as Shampoo. A
few of the wiser warriors moved out of Mousse's way, while a few
others fainted. The particularly stupid ones (not recognizing
berserker-like obsession when they saw it), tried to stop Mousse,
generally joining the