Ring My Bell
The doorbell for my apartment had been broken for several months. I would write a note to the building caretaker every few weeks or so and mention it, but day after day it remained inoperable. Friends would just walk to the window and yell for me. It worked well enough.Weather that allows windows to be open does not last long in Minneapolis, though, and with the first dusting of snow this week, I grew impatient. When I came home today after voting, I was happy to see a yellow index card inside my door with a small illustration and a cheery We Fixed _____ Today completed by a penciled 'buzzer '.
If you complain enough, sometimes things get done. Voting works the same way. Yesterday was election day.
I had checked the candidates and referenda before arriving, so I was ready to go. The first thing I did was to choose the Libertarian candidate for Ward Council Member. Then I was sure to vote YES on Charter 145, which stipulates that the City obtain voter approval through another public vote before approving any more than $10 million for stadium construction. That was quite satisfying, actually. I hope there is a similar state-wide initiative so I can vote on that issue again.
I thought about writing myself in for Mayor, but saved that for District Representative for the Park and Recreation Board. After all, I know a lot more about recreating than Mayorial duties.
In particular, I like parks. Not just
South Park,
either. I like all kinds. The
Walker Art Center Sculpture garden is one of my favorite parts of
Minneapolis. So when I learned that the City Council was considering
proposals for Block E downtown, I thought about a park. In particular
I envisioned a simple block, with some trees, and a lot of benches.
Maybe a hot dog vendor in the summer, and an ice skating rink in the
winter.
For those of you who aren't enjoying the snows of Minnesota November, let me briefly explain. Block E is a square chunk of the city that sits smack in the middle of the downtown entertainment district. Bordering the Target Center arena on one side, and First Avenue Danceteria on another, Block E is currently little more than a large parking lot. Which isn't such a bad thing, really. However, the city is jonesing to put something there, and I would love to see it become a park.
Last week I read in the City Pages that I'm not the only one who feels that way. It seems that a group called FORECAST Public Artworks has propsed that very idea to the City. Plus or minus the hot dog vendor. As a member of the Park Board, I would wholly endorse such a proposal.
I certainly would not advocate another shopping mall. Just as I object to building a stadium for any of the local sports franchises. They make plenty of money, and if they disagree, let them move to Birmingham. Let Alabama's citizens deal with their threats and demands. Or Cleveland. They seem to be gluttons for punishment.
If they do want to spend a few hundred million for new stadia, I have a suggestion for funding. Legalize prostitution. Pardon the expression, but Minneapolis already has a leg up on St. Paul. The city's evil Twin has a very unfriendly policy towards the world's oldest profession. More accurately, they discourage steet walkers. Which is one of the best parts of legalizing the practice: the undesirable ancillary behavior is reduced by making the central act legal. (Of course, you can acheive the same thing by tolerating escort services and marginalizing street workers. This may be St. Paul's motive for putting pictures of offenders on the Internet; that is a different topic, though, and I was on a roll before this tangent.)
But just think of the tax revenues that could be generated. Imagine the boost given to the local convention center, and efforts to bring events like the Final Four here. At the very least, if the residents of the area are going to get fucked over a stadium, can't they at least enjoy it?
So legalize it. We could even build a stellar bordello downtown on Block E. Trim Cities sounds like a good name.
Now don't you wish you could vote for me? You could even stop by here and drop me e-mail when you don't like how I do things. Or just run by my apartment.
The doorbell works now.