Drinking Idiocy

Quarters

In Quarters, people sit around a table with a shot glass as centerpiece, and attempt to bounce a 25 cent coin into the glass from their spot at the table. Landing the quarter in the shot glass grants the ability to force someone else at the table to drink part of their beverage.

The message this game sends is, "too bad if you weren't planning to drink a lot this evening, because we can make you drink all night." This moronic endeavor transforms peer pressure into a blunt weapon that compells intoxication. The picture of 8 or 9 people sitting around a table, slapping coins against it haphazardly in order to coax eachother into drunkeness is one of completely stupidity. I am at a loss to devise something dumber.

Unfortunately, I do not have to. This dumber something exists, and goes by the name of Anchorman.

Anchorman

What Quarters did for mutual consent, Anchorman does for group association. In this insipid activity, groups of three race to finish off a pitcher of beer. As if that were not stupid enough, the drinking is regimented so that once a team member stops drinking, they pass the pitcher on to the next teammate and may not drink again. Thus, the final "Anchorman" has the task of doing what his friends could not.

Did I mention that the drinking must be done continuously? That is to say, once any person stops gulping, they must pass the pitcher on. Crucial detail, how could I forget?

So here we have three folks, drinking as fast as they can to win this ridiculous contest, doing their best to overconsume so as not to let their mates down. How silly.

In the description of both of these games, I explicitly mentioned peer pressure, but I purposely avoided suggesting that these games typically appeal to boys. I think they do, and for the obvious reasons. They provide as good a forum as any for competeing, and proving toughness.

Allow me to posit that if we took these boys, and put them in a bar filled with women in their twenties, a social force very different from peer pressure would reveal these games to be as dumb as they really are.

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Last Updated: 9 March 1997
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