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I want the parents of the country to revolt. I want them to stand up at the next organizational meeting for the next 9 year-old soccer league and say, "Enough of This." I want them to go home, relax in the backyard and leave their kids alone. No uniform, no coaches, no schedule, no league. Let them play.
Do kids do that any more? I don't have kids, so I don't really know. All I have to go on is what I overhear at work. What I hear bothers me. It seems all year long, parents shuttle their kids from one organized activity to another. I can't figure out why.
Honestly, what is so good about all these organized leagues? These are upper middle class families, it isn't as if the kids need to be kept off the streets. These are working mothers, with a busy schedule that does not need filler time of talking to yet another coach, and driving to and from practice twice a week.
During the school year, week after week, kids are graded on performance by teachers and scrutinized for progress by their parents. Do they need this during summer games as well? On my summer breaks, on my fall weekends, I played games with the kids in my neighborhhood. We made up our own rules, we picked our own teams, and we settled our own disputes. We played.
Nike even stole that word away with the "P.L.A.Y. - Participate in the Lives of America's Youth" campaign. Good idea for them: there is not a lot of money to be made if kids across the land are playing "Kick the Can" and stickball while running around in the same damn pair of canvas tennis shoes that their parents wore as kids.
Their own acronym demonstrates the problem. Since when should adults participate in child's play? They can say whatever they want about the interest of children, and being a positive influence. What they want to do is sell $30 jerseys to every 5th grader in sight, along with cleats and other equipment. If they could sell an official Nike Hopscotch shoe, they would try.
I don't like the results of constant adult partcipation in kids' games. An entire generation of middle class children is growing up with the thought that the rules are dictated from central authority, that their own relative worth is not a product of their peers, but of their superiors, and that a referee or adult is always necessary to resolve conflict. If all their lives, they had an arbiter to decide if a play were offsides, or a baserunner were safe, how do they deal with eachother in personal or professional matters?
They certainly learn form the adults as they play. They learn that whining about playing time to a coach may get results, and that parents can yell and argue over petty things. As a young boy I distinctly remember how we treated those among us who whined during games, who complained about strikes that might have been balls. We said, "Don't be such a baby." Now, they might think acting as a grownup is equally dispicable.
Even if we forget possible results for social behavior, and focus on sports, I think the incessant organization of youth games is detrimental. When kids play on a team, for a coach, they learn the "right" way to play. They don't try dribbling through three defenders, they make sure to make the open pass everytime. They play safe. Like an adult would.
When kids play, they should not play as an adult. They should not always work for the good of the team. There is plenty of time for that in life. Leave the kids alone, and let them dream when they play. Let them try the outrageous pass, the selfish play. Let them develop individual skills and walk onto their own playgrounds, not in the numbered uniform of a sponsored squad, but in the dressing of their own wants and goals.
Listen up, suburban parents. Let them run home and tell you about the great game they had, and all the good things they did. They will feel free to embellish because you were not there to see it all. Let them run with their friends while you enjoy your own summer time. Act as an adult, not a valet, or taxi service. Let them play on their own.
They'll be better for it.
Last Updated: 18 July 1997
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