He's Da Mayor

It may be tough to argue that Willie Brown warrants classification as dictator, but my lord does he know about fashion. Just look at the impeccable grooming of the man's mustache, and the little bit of hair that he still has. Examine the fine cut of the Italian pinstripe suits he favors, and the way he displays his confidence by relying on simple, solid color neckwear. No distracting patterns or ambiguous stripes here. Willie Brown, Da Mayor of San Francisco, lets you know excatly where he stands.

If you want to know where he stands, you might want to see the propaganda for his campaign for mayor in 1995.

So how can I claim that Willie Brown deserves the despotic part of the Dictator Fashion award. Well, I think his political skill comes close to lending unwavering power. After all, this is the man who was able to retain Speaker of the House priveleges in the California state assembly, even after his party lost their majority status. That's one hell of a trick, and year after year people like Slobodan Milosevic need to think up new and intersting ways to manage it. Maybe they should learn to work the body politic like Willie Brown.

Speaking of working the body politic, look at what the three piece suit does for Da Mayor. I don't know what he's looking at on that screen, but I know what I'm seeing on mine. Per-fec-tion, baby. Getting back to Mr. Brown's leadership style, I direct you to this report card on the mayor's first year in office. Note that in the "Areas for Improvement" the authors point to a quick temper and a need to control everything. Hmmmmmmmmm. Then, however, the authors conclude that a nickname of "Emporer" is dangerous politically.

Tut-tut, say we at the Dictator Fashion Spotlight. It is far more dangerous for the Emporer's new clothes to betray his personal stature. Worse yet, as the fable I have invoked describes, is to be caught without any clothes at all. That was the mistake Frank Jordan made during the mayoral race with Willie Brown in 1995. Here he is, appearing on a local radio show with two disc jockeys, stark-buck-jack-jet nekkid. Mr. Jordan, your first name is not Michael, and you have no business appearing in public with your arms exposed, let alone your chest or anything else.

Yes, Willie, we also think that whole episode was laughable. And we love the mixture of bygone elegance with today's styles that your hat and banded-collar shirt combine to create.

Don't let the smile and the happy yellow tie fool you though. Willie has his detractors and some people are not entirely enamored with Da Mayor. Hell, he may have chased NFL quarterback Elvis Grbac away from the 49ers when he called him an "embarrassment to humankind". That regrettable incident happened after a San Francisco loss to the Dallas Cowboys. I can understand Willie's frustration. Yet Willie knew better than to get involved with real 49er controversy. When San Fran lobbyist Jack Davis celebrtaed his 50th birthday on May 3rd of this year, Willie Brown was there. The mayor left before the highlight of the evening, a performance by The United Satanic Apache Front in which front man Steven Johnson Leyba appeared in a leather tunic. That alone would have clashed with the Mayor's sense of style. But then exotic dancer and band member Danielle Willis cut Leyba, urinated on him, and sodomized him with a Jack Daniels whiskey bottle. Now that would have been a tough one for the spin doctors to handle. Good thing Willie has the good sense to stay out of such imbroglios.

On a personal note, I love this banner ad for a special site sponsored by the San Francisco Examiner:

One last shot of (at?) the mayor. I wish I had a plate like this, I would serve up the classiest cheese and caviar on it, befitting a man of such good taste.

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Last Updated: 16 September 1997
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