You're Not That Cool

I refuse to wait in line outside a club. The wait period is arbitrary and serves only to present an exclusive image. To me, the ability to makes patrons wait outside for someone in a black outfit with a ponytail and a clipboard to grant them entrance does not display a discriminating air. It shows patrons willing to stand in line and act like sheep. If you want to impress me with your club, make a membership list, or impose a ridiculous cover charge.

The only way clubs can operate in this manner is if the customers let them. It helps if all other spots do likewise, but it basically comes down to compliance. Personally I'll walk on by before I stand in line. The clubs just aren't that cool, to me.

If you do think they are that cool, and you will tolerate standing in line outside in potential cold, or hard winds that ruin your hairstyle, then you deserve the harsh treatment by nature and the second long wait to get to the mirror in the bathroom to fix your hair. You probably also deserve the overpriced, undersized drinks they serve, and the monotonous music played by the ecstasy laden disc jockey. Have fun on the dance floor making sure the fool holding the screwdriver doesn't spill it all over you.

Maybe I just don't understand the nuances of admitting people into a dark smoky room to dance. I do not own a bar or nightclub, so I can't say this is a bad way to operate. Maybe I'm missing the point. Could be, but I'll never miss waiting in line.

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Last Updated: 28 March 1997
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