Countdown to The Millennium

01-01-00 is a good idea because it transcends language. It also means the same whether you think that first number is the month (as Americans would) or it marks the day (as most Europeans would).

01-01-00 is a bad idea, however, because it isn't cool. Go ahead, try to say it. Oh-One-Oh-One-Oh-Oh sounds like a poorly written bit of dialogue in a Letter to Penthouse Forum.

01-01-00 also looks binary. As a programmer and technology proponent I hate to say this, but binary has never been in vogue. I can think of just one song that uses a binary number, and that is The Body Electric by Rush. Please don't write to tell me Rush is a good band, or that Neil Peart is the world's best drummer, or to remind me that I've been to a Rush concert. We've heard it all before. The fact is, no one is frantic to book Rush for their New Year's Eve 1999 Blow-Out.

Another indication binary is gauche: buildings are never dedicated with a binary number listing the founding date. There may be a lot of plaques in the world bearing the monitor:

So maybe Roman numerals would make a good alternative to 01-01-00. They would, only some candy company and their humorless lawyers might not take kindly to someone copyrighting and licensing MM all over the place.

Y2K is a much cooler way to represent the year 2000. Incidentally, it also sounds like it might appear in a letter to Penthouse Forum. Only it retains its hip aura. The problem with Y2K is that it only works in English. The Chicago Bulls only works in English, but that doesn't stop them from selling merchandise the world over. It helps to have Michael Jordan, I guess. Or a good media blitz.

Which is what the year 2000 has. A damn good media blitz. For what? A large round number. No substance beyond the superficial landmark quality. It looks neat. There wasn't hype like that for the first palindrome year in over a century, or for the the three prime years occurring in this decade. Typical of the sound bite era.

Numerologists and astrologers love the cash windfall that will come their way from making predictions about the year 2000. Number theorists and astronomers couldn't care less.

I have a little numerology for you. Translate 01-01-00 from binary to decimal. You get 20. As in the 20th Century. In all the media hype, people forget that 2000 does not mark the beginning of the millennium. If you ask me, that's the real Year 2000 problem. Forget bank programs, and the rest of what you hear on CNN, the inaccuracy of calling 2000 part of the 21st century is simply criminal.

The Roman calendar starts with a 1, see, not a zero. If 1999 ends the second millennium, then we are short a year. So sad that arithmetic had to fuck up the party.

But I've given you plenty of ways to try to cash in on the rush for 2000 paraphernalia. All it costs to get started is $500,000. Who's next?

[January 1998] [Home]

Last Updated: 7 January 1998
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