A Fashion Tip

I also wish to thank the other men at the restaurant for helping me look good. As was one of the few men actually wearing a tie, I want to express my gratitude to all those who went out last night open-collared, or in a turtleneck, for helping me look like so suave.

I'm not saying that a man should wear a tie on every single date. If you spent any more than $50 for dinner last night, however, I think it appropriate. Do I really think wearing a tie is such a big deal? Yes, for a couple of reasons.

• It's only fair. After my parents divorced and my mother started dating again, she enforced a rigid dress code on her gentleman callers: Jacket and tie, or they were not going out that evening. She reasoned that she spent a lot of time getting dressed and made up, and her date should be considerate of that. To me, that is pure riot grrrllllll attitude, even if Mom's style of dress isn't traditional riot grrrlllllll implementation. I can respect that.

• Look good for your date. Think of yourself as an accesory for her. That isn't too far fetched, really. Your pocket-laden outfit, for instance, is the perfect auxilliary to the elegant little evening bag that matches her shoes.

• Look good for yourself. Let's face it, men's clothes are not especially fancy or ornamental. Dark greens, browns and khaki, or maybe blue, grey and black. Not substantially different from Garanimals when you think about it. Neckties provide the only real opportunity to use color, and let personality show through. Men don't have the option of slit skirts, the bold tie is the only way to demonstrate confident sexuality.

  Women have shoes, nail polish, lip gloss, eyeliner, hemlines, and a full palette of colors limited only by what complements her natural pigments. Men have only neckwear.

  If I ever see a necktie painted to look like a peacock feather, I will buy it. The allegory is completely accurate.

[February 1998] [Home]

Last Updated: 15 February 1998
Rant Back!