- The Top 11 ways to refer to George W. Bush: "President Bush" just doesn't sound right
Intro 12/16/00 John Quincy Adams
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is Fresh Air Radio, KFAI, 90.3 FM in Minneapolis and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, the galaxyšs voice for information, entertainment, and other stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you.
I want to talk about the son of a one term president who lost the popular vote but gained the office under controversy, who followed a two-term president and who's phyrric victory ensured his loss in the next election and who's party disappeared soon after, who's inept administration paved the way for the person he beat to become a two term president. Yes, that's right. I'm talking about John Quincy Adams.
The Adams political dynasty was more notable for how badly their presidents screwed up than for how well it did. Of the first 7 US presidents, all were two-termers except the Adams'. John Adams was such a poor president that his Federalist Party never took another election. But his presidency is best forgotten, left in the middle of two great presidents, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. His Alien and Sedition Acts and feud with Jefferson guaranteed that he would go quickly. There's no question John Adams was a patriot and he deserves to be honored as a Founding Father. His son, John Quincy, earned no such honor. He lost the popular vote in 1824, and it took political wrangling to keep the real winner, Andrew Jackson, out of office. The issue was decided in Congress, after much contentious discussion.
It should be noted that John Quincy, like his father before him, was not a bad man, just a bad president. He was simply in over his head. He was a good Secretary of State under Monroe, where he arranged for Spain to cede us Florida (hmmm). As president he proposed expanding the Federal Government to connect the colonies with highways and canals, promoted the arts and wanted to build a national observatory. Later, as Representative, he fought for civil liberties and successfully worked to repeal the gag rule that prevented motions against slavery to be discussed in the House of Representatives.
Still, John Quincy Adams, like his father before him, fell prey to his own weaknesses and to the weaknesses of the people around him. His presidency was in most respects a failure. In 1828, Jackson charged him with corruption and public plunder, and Jackson charged to the first of two victories. Adam's political party, the National Republicans, never took the presidency again. The National Republicans eventually combined with the hatemongers of the day, the Anti-Masons, into the Whig Party, which was also short lived. Jackson, propelled by the incompetence and corruption of the National Republicans, ran as a Democrat-Republican which was simplified into Democrat. In part thanks to the incompetence of the National Republicans, the Democrats have been a force ever since.
There is danger in drawing too many parallels to our current situation, but the ironies are delicious to savor. The son of a poor president becomes president despite losing the popular vote. Indeed, Bush Lite got fewer votes than Gore in 2000 or Clinton in 1996. His administration is already tainted, and the Republicans have been exposed as criminal. If we were to hold the election again, now, I bet the results would be even better for the Democrats. As it is, the GOP can arrogantly hold on to a slight lead in nastiness per word, but so far the Democrats have more to be proud of: Gore wins the popular vote. Senator Hillary. Democrats gain in House, fight to even in the Senate. Impeachment managers humiliated. School voucher initiatives shot down in several states. Republican voter 'irregularities' exposed in Florida and other places.
I, like many Americans, honor the office of president but not necessarily the man in it. George W Bush did not win the presidency, he was awarded it. He is not yet 'President Bush'. That title he'll have to earn. For the sake of America I hope he does well, but the odds are that he'll choke on his words and follow really bad advice from the extreme right. I can hear the two slogans now: Bush: A Thousand Pints of Lite, and Reelect Al Gore in 2004!
So what to call him? We on Shockwave don't want to be as nasty as hate radio, but we do want to indicate our displeasure at a stolen election. So here is:
The Top 11 ways to refer to George W. Bush:
11. Bush Lite
10. Cheatin' George
9. George aWol Bush
8. Cheney's VP
7. Subliminable Man
6. God's Gift to Comedy Writers
5. Chad Bush
4. Neil Bush's brother
3. Little George
2. John Quincy Adams II
1. Former Governor Bush
We demand a recount! There are more than 11. Fuzzy Bush, Governor Smirk, Baby Bush, the Big W.
Ed note: Lately, I've come to like "Acting President Bush"
Intro 12/9/00 Dune
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is Fresh Air Radio, KFAI, 90.3 FM in Minneapolis and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and other stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. America Held Hostage, Day... oh God, I've lost count. Anyway. Let's talk about Dune.
The main problem with Dune is that the book is not very cinematic. Especially at the beginning, there's a lot of interior monologues and omniscient narration and you don't find out why the main narrator is important until the end. People act and say things based on their internal motivations, not necessarily because of the action going on. The pace picks up as the book goes along and the backgrounds have been filled in, but without understanding what's going on it's just a lot of explosions and people getting knifed to death. And that's the best part, cinematically speaking.
Unfortunately for filmmakers, the book is complicated, with many important characters, and many of those characters have hidden motivations and aren't onstage long enough for their actions to explain what they're all about. There doesn't seem to be any way to combine characters or ignore plot threads, so any movie must be big and complex. A daunting task, and neither attempt has risen to the occasion.
There are six books in the Dune series, written by Frank Herbert over a span of more than 20 years, plus two more recent prequels written from his notes by his son and others. The first book is the best, by a lot, and the only one anyone's attempted to film. Twice.
The first movie, in 1984 directed by David Lynch, is a magnificent failure, sort of like Eraserhead with a big budget. Lots of good actors and expensive sets in an utterly incomprehensible plot. And I'd read the book! The problem was that Lynch tried to get too much in his few hours, while adding his fascination with the icky and disgusting along the way. He uses the narrator to introduce situations and backgrounds, as does the book, but it's muddled and not enough. Because the events happen at such a fast clip, there's no time for a scene to reach emotional fulfillment. It's a big deal when Paul rides a worm, but the few seconds allotted don't have the impact necessary to carry the scene.
Last week, the Sci-Fi Channel tried to stretch Dune to 6 hours over three days in a miniseries. They will be showing it all tomorrow, Sunday, for those stragglers who want the whole thing dumped on them at once. If you're a devotee of Dune, it's worth seeing. But if you haven't read the book, you'll be lost. Harrison, the writer/director of the mini-series, eschews the narration and interior monologues of the Lynch adaptation in favor of putting even yet more of the plot onscreen. In some ways this works, in others it falls to the ground. There's simply too much going on. We don't find out much about the Suk doctor who plays a pivotal role in the plot. The Bene Gesserit isn't talked about much. We don't find out about mentats, Sarduakar or Guild pilots. The whole Butlerian Jihad is barely mentioned, so why a society has interstellar travel and anti-gravity but not computers is left hanging. Why spice is valuable and its uses by the Fremen are given short shrift. The political intrigues that drive the main plot aren't well explained in the book and the movie does even worse.
The latest miniseries handles some things well, but overall it didn't work. The first episode attempted to set up the characters, with moderate success, but you're still left empty. The only 'name' actor, William Hurt, does well in a thankless role, but many of the others seem horribly miscast. Paul Atreides looks, well, pasty. The battle tested soldiers all look like they mainly sit around in the beer hall. Thewater-poor desert Fremen look well-fed.
If you're still with us by this time, the second episode chugs along fine. Still a lot of missing background. You never get the sense of the years passing, or the importance of how the characters interact. Lots of dialog from the book without the reason why that's important. But deed is done and the politics become more understandable. More fun with worms.
The third episode was the best, for me, because there were fewer characters left around and the desert action sequences worked pretty well. This is pretty much how the book works, too. Dune starts out weaker than it finishes. Interestingly, the farther the mini-series strayed from the book, the better it got. Most of those desert action sequences are not in the book, though they're implied. Indeed, one of the weaknesses of the book (and the series) is the lack of context. How events surrounding the main characters effect others is rarely stated on Dune are shaping the rest of the galaxy is implied and briefly stated at best. In the book, this works, though by now it's a creaky literary device. In the movies, it's a gaping hole that the mini-series fills better than the movie, but not by much.
I can't really go so far as to give the Dune mini-series a Shockwave recommendation, but if you liked the book and were disappointed in the Lynch movie, you'll need to see it just to compare. Someday, they'll do the necessary 12-part "I Claudius"-like adaptation with a sufficient budget and decent actors. Until then, we're stuck with this. Oh, and the book, which I recommend.
11/11/00election
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is Fresh Air Radio, KFAI, 90.3 FM in Minneapolis and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and other stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. America Held Hostage, Day 4.
Election 2000 produced winners and losers. For the Democrats, winners were apparent. Gore took the popular vote, Senator Hillary. Ashcroft loses to a dead guy. Impeachment managers humiliated. Democrat gains in both the House and Senate. Dayton defeats Grams. For the Republicans, the winners were also apparent. Kennedy defeating Minge. Holding on to majorities, however slim, for the House and Senate. Bush holding on to a slim lead in the unofficial count in Florida which would give him the electoral college.
Still, the presidential race is too close to call. Depending on just who you pay attention to, either New Mexico has gone for Gore or is too close to call. Either Oregon has gone for Gore or is too close to call. Either Florida went for Gore, if you believe the exit polls, or it has gone to Bush if you believe the unofficial count, or there has been massive election fraud by the candidate's brother or there has been massive stupidity by the voters.
It seems there has been massive stupidity by a lot of people. The news media were incredibly wrong, almost all the time. None of the polls showed the race as dead even, though several showed the race very close. CNN was hopelessly irresponsible. The CNN/Gallup tracking polls right before the election showed that Gore had surged to within two points of Bush, but they kept warning, repeatedly, that this was a statistical anomaly and the race always tightened the weekend before but that wouldn't hold on election day. CNN was wrong. The pundits said this election would have a low voter turnout, lower than 1996, continuing a trend. In fact, voter turnout was higher than 1996. Still shamefully low, around 52%, but the pundits called this one wrong as well. In their post-election babble, everyone's been going on about how Nixon didn't challenge Kennedy's narrow victory in 1960, conveniently forgetting that Nixon DID challenge Kennedy, asking for a recount in 11 states.
And then there's the mess in Florida. The press was embarrassed, twice. First, they called the race for Gore, based on exit polls. Then they took it back. Then they called the race for Bush. Then they took it back. Now, it seems that the exit polls were right, and that people in Florida thought they were voting for Gore, but due to irregularities (or something) their votes didn't count as much as they wanted to. 19,000 ballots thrown out. Somehow, a liberal Jewish precinct voted for Buchanan. Another precinct gave the Socialist candidate more votes than the rest of the state combined. Clearly, something went wrong. Were all these just innocent mistakes that happen all the time, with their importance magnified due to the importance of the outcome in Florida, or was their deliberate fraud involved, where the losing candidate's brother, who happens to be governor, put pressure on election officials to swing things his way? At the moment we don't know, but either scenario is scary.
Let's start with some basics: During the Florida recount, every county but one had the numbers change. Doesn't that bother you? No matter who you ultimately support for president, the fact that virtually all the numbers changed, more than once, during the recounts should be indicative of just how bad the situation is down there. Is this just Florida or are all the states going to be like this? If there has been fraud, how can we catch the crooks and make this election come out the way the people voted?
While there have been many winners, there are many losers. The big loser is Jeb Bush. There's no way he can come out of this any better than supremely embarrassed. At worst, Jeb may wind up in jail. The next big loser is George Bush. He might lose the presidency, but even if he gains the office he'll have absolutely no mandate, he'll face working with a divided Congress and his presidency will always be under a cloud of suspicion, tainted by the election. The next big loser is Al Gore. He might lose the presidency, but even if he gains the office he'll have similar problems, with only the small mandate of winning the popular vote to give him authority.
The big winner is CNN. They got what they wanted: Ratings. All of a sudden, they're important again. And their coverage has been horrible. Television news does best with breaking stories, but is at its worst when they have to treat issue-oriented developing stories as breaking stories. CNN wanted another OJ, another Elian, and they got it. Good for them, bad for the digestive system.
Other losers in this: Ross Perot. Perot endorsed Bush with five days to go before the election, and Bush's 7 point lead disappeared. Bye bye Ross. Pat Buchanan has shown that the shame of being a conservative has never been greater. With Gore and Bush running centrist campaigns, the right went to the center in droves. Ralph Nader can preen all he wants, but when the dust settled he didn't get the 5% necessary to secure Federal Matching Funds for the next election. If you really thought Nader would make the best president then your vote was correct. If you only voted for him because you see no difference between Gore and Bush I have little sympathy for you.
Oddly, the winner in all this may be the voters. This election proved one thing: Your vote counts. Precisely how it gets counted is still in question, but too many races were so close that individual votes mattered. If this mess forces a reexamination of the Electoral College, the people will be further served.
My hope for all this is that the Florida voters will have their will done despite Jeb Bush and company, and Gore takes the state and the election. He should have taken the state by around 25,000 votes, it seems, and the recounts should show this.
My real prediction: This won't be over soon.ed note: Boy, did I call that one right As a political junkie, this is fun to watch, and as a humorist, I'll be making fun of everyone for decades. As a concerned American, I'm hoping that the Bush/Cheney All DUI ticket slinks into the political abyss as soon as possible and we have a Gore/Lieberman administration to continue the successes of the past eight years.
Still, as the late great Steve Allen used to say, all seriousness aside... Shockwave endorsed Barbie for President. Where are her votes? Barbie took no corporate donations, accepted no soft money. Barbie was no one's puppet. But she won no states. We ask the hard questions around here.
So, adding to the election confusion, Shockwave presents, The Top 11 Reasons Why Barbie Isn't President.
11. Gov. Ventura is pals with GI Joe.
10. Soccer moms got too tired of picking up daughter's dolls.
9. News coverage of her campaign was nonexistent. Why wasn't Barbie in the debates?
8. No sex scandals, Buddhist monks, DUI convictions. She was just boring.
7. On the other hand, too many kids have seen Barbie without clothes. She has nothing to hide.
6. Log Cabin Republicans thought George Bush was sexier.
5. Mattel doesn't run commercials on CNN. Payback time.
4. Appeared too wooden at campaign appearances.
3. Monopoly money didn't buy enough tv commercials.
2. Barbie kept reinventing herself.
1. Not related to a former president or the son of a senator.
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is Fresh Air Radio, KFAI, 90.3 FM in Minneapolis and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and other stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. On the first show of our 22nd season, Shockwave will unveil it's long anticipated endorsement of a presidential candidate.
As listeners know, Shockwave offered to be the host for a presidential debate. We didn't hear from any of the candidates, or even Tim Russert. We will try not to let that color our choice. Let's look over the candidates and assess their strengths and weaknesses. I'll remind everyone, if they haven't figured it out by now, that the opinions expressed on this program are those of the speaker and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of KFAI, it's members or board of directors or anyone who accidentally spills coffee while listening.
Pat Buchanan is the Ariel Sharon of American politics, but US citizens are too smart to become a mob over him. Buchanan is not a Nazi, but one gets the impression that he would be more comfortable as a citizen of the Third Reich than in America. I'm pleased to see that the US agrees with me, and that Pitchfork Pat's support in the polls hovers between 0% and 1%. With a four point margin of error, that means Buchanan's support might be as little as -3%. No dice on Pat.
There is much to admire about Ralph Nader, but his political skills are not amongst them. And as much as it's politically correct to decry Washington Insiders and Career Politicians, politics is about the art of persuasion, knowing when to compromise and when to use the bully pulpit, and the ability to get things done. Nader would make a great head of the FDA or HUD, but would make a lousy president. Sorry Ralph.
We keep trying to find nice things to say about George W. Bush, but there's not much there there. He seems like a nice fellow, a recovering alcoholic, who's main claim to fame is his relationship to a former president. I wish him well, but I don't want Billy Carter as president. He may not be an idiot, but at times he's so dumb that he makes Quayle seem merely Agnew. He changed his religion and lifestyle at age 40 and yet accuses his opponent of reinventing himself. His malapropisms are the envy of Norm Crosby. He lies and exaggerates and plays the dumb guy with a Texas flair that might be fun to watch on a sitcom, but it unfitting for a president. The people of Texas seem to like him. He should stay there.
Al Gore brings tremendous strengths to the table. Visionary Al encouraged and funded the internet and other technological initiatives. As a Congressman and Senator, he shows growth, intelligent and leadership. He's been a terrific Vice President in one of the most successful administrations in history. Why then can't we support his bid for the presidency. Well, first of all, he refuses to say that Bush is unqualified. If he can't see that, how are his Supreme Court nominees going to hold up? Second, he didn't appear on Shockwave when invited. Despite what I said earlier, not recognizing the importance of this program is a fatal flaw.
In the opinion of Shockwave, the best candidate for the office of president in this election is... Barbie. She's old enough, at age 40, and has vast amounts of experience. Since her debut in 1959, Barbie has had 75 successful careers including Astronaut, Olympic Swimmer, Super Hero, Elvis Fan, Bride, Fashion Model, Software Designer and Trend Forecaster. She is a uniter, not a divider, and is available in three races: African-American, Latina, and Caucasian. Girls nationwide own an average of eight Barbies. How many Rubic's Cubes are still around? She has staying power and yet keeps up with today's technology. Barbie's official campaign is underway and there are several web sites. Barbie has been endorsed by the White House Project, Girls, Inc. the Party for Girls and Mattel Inc. I urge you to consider your vote for this American icon. Barbie for President!
With that, Shockwave presents, The Top 11 Reasons to Vote for Barbie for President.
11. She only gets into the sex scandals imagined by pre-teen girls.
10. Able to tap GI Joe for Secretary of Defense.
9. Gender gap in her favor.
8. Plays nicely with other dolls, demonstrating her bipartisan leadership as a uniter.
7. Hasn't taken one dime of soft money.
6. Barbie can tap into any of her previous job skills at a moment's notice.
5. In case of terrorist attack, a little glue and paint will restore her to full health.
4. Every boy's dream, every girl's ambition.
3. Talking Barbie knows exactly what to say under any circumstance and never dominates the conversation.
2. Will work well with Senator Hillary.
1. She's no one's puppet.
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is Fresh Air Radio, KFAI, 90.3 FM in Minneapolis and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and other stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. We'll be speculating on Olympic events of the future and discussing current Olympic events.
But first, some continuing stories. Al Gore and George Bush still haven't finalized their debate plans, so once again I offer this program as the only logical alternative. I invite Gore and Bush, and even Nader and Buchanan, to come on Shockwave and debate for the presidency. We're the logical venue for this. Sharp, politically astute and willing to make fun of anyone. So come on guys, debate on Shockwave!
Speaking of making fun of everybody, another week has gone by without hearing from Rod Grams. Why is Grams so scared of Shockwave? Doesn't he have any futurist or technology issues he wants to talk about? I've also talked to the Mark Dayton people about an interview with him, but it's only been a little while so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt... for now.
A reminder that will be rebroadcasting the 1999 Jesse Ventura next week, on our 21st Anniversary Show. Stay tuned.
Okay. The 2000 Olympics have been marked by drug use, vote buying scandals and low ratings. While there are some new events, such as trampoline, in this Olympics, we here on Shockwave think that there are other contests that should be introduced into the world sporting event that would be a great tests of skill and maybe even spruce up some ratings.
So here are: The Top 11 Proposed New Events for the 2004 Olympics
11. Synchronized Wet T-Shirt Contest. This is harder than it sounds.
10. Full contact Australian rules table tennis. Frankly, I think the 2000 Olympics missed a beat on this one.
9. Greco-Roman Equestrian Hurdlestopping.
8. Cross Country high-diving
7. Sarcasm. Yeah, they need this as a world class event. Really.
6. Blindfolded Archery. If they can add Tae Quando, they can add Zen
5. Hexidecicathalon. Sixteen events to include programming, cross platform web design, hacking, and chatroom etiquette.
4. Zero gravity rowing.
3. Virtual Boxing. This is how fights in the future will happen.
2. Water baseball. It won't matter where they spit.
1. Elvis Impersonation. In two weight categories, and the fat Elvis must fail the drug test.
Single person relay: Only for clones or separated cojoined twins. What is modification? Pin in leg or complete replacement of body parts?
Right-brained theater film society: Road Runner/Blade Runner/Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner
Password: Marathon Man
Intro July 12, 2000 Moon Landing
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is Fresh Air Radio, KFAI, 90.3 FM in Minneapolis and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and other stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. We're celebrating the New Year!. Break out the Neil Armstrong banners! Let's hear the buzz about Buzz Aldrin! Inject the Michael Collins nanobot!
Most of the time, people talk about the two astronauts who walked on the moon, Armstrong and Aldrin. Tonight, we're going to focus a bit on the commander of the Lunar Module Columbia, circling the moon keeping communications open and providing a haven for the moon walkers when they returned. Michael Collins had a lot to do up there, but while his crewmates were being watched by a billion people, perhaps Collins could sneak off and have some fun out of the limelight. History doesn't record what Collins did, and telemetry data was never made public. So Shockwave now speculates,
The Top 11 Things Michael Collins might have done while Armstrong and Aldrin were collecting rocks:
11. Watch for UFOs
10. Write upside down with his neat space pen
9. Finally get a chance to play his Grateful Dead tape. The others just weren't into it.
8. Drink all the Tang
7. Try and hook up to the newly created ARPAnet and go surf the net for porn
6. Make funny faces while Richard Nixon talked to the guys on the ground
5. Add up all the residuals he would be sharing from spin offs
4. Look down at the Earth and try to see the Great Wall of China
3. Finally get those hard-to-reach areas clean
2. Write responses to all the congratulatory telegrams
1. Wish for something threatening but not fatal to happen to Armstrong and Aldrin so he could rescue them.
Add NASA links
Intro July 15, 2000 The X-Men
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is Fresh Air Radio, KFAI, 90.3 FM in Minneapolis and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and other stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. The New Year is coming up: Year of Our Moon Landing 31 starts next week. Break out the Neil Armstrong banners! We'll have more of that next week. For the moment, let's talk about the X-Men movie.
The X-Men is a good movie, maybe even a great movie. Certainly one of the best, if not the best, adaptation of a comic book into film. It steadfastly refuses to draw it's characters as black and white. You understand the motivation of the main villain. Magneto has a point, and the good guy's motivations isn't always pure.
Comic books have a terrible track record when adapted into movies. Some have been better than others, but most have been deservedly forgotten or relegated to cult favorites: Captain America, Tank Girl, the 60s Batman movies, 1989's Pryde of the X-Men, and so on. Even the decent comic book adaptations are only okay: Superman or the Tim Burton Batman. Interestingly, the director of the 1978 Superman, Richard Donner, is one of the producers of the X-Men. Perhaps he learned something from his foray into adaptations. Mostly, comic books, by their very nature, make better serials and television shows than movies. The X-Men movie certainly sets up several sequels, but functions as a stand alone movie.
It's tempting to say that The X-Men is the antidote to last week's Rocky and Bullwinkle. X-Men does right what Rocky and Bullwinkle get wrong, and does wrong what Rocky and Bullwinkle do right. Fortunately, background gags and sly comic references are not important to the X-Men, while a decent plot and strong characters would have helped Rocky and Bullwinkle.
The X-Men is not a typical comic book adaptation, or indeed a typical action movie. It starts off in a Polish concentration camp during World War II. In many respects, this movie is structurally similar to Saving Private Ryan. "Am I a good person?" asks Ryan. "I am superior to humans," insists Magneto, and given the evil of the Nazis you can't just dismiss his claim. What he doesn't consider is that being the next step in evolution doesn't inherently make you good, just more powerful. Therein lies the conflict of the movie: The protectors of the humans vs. the mutants who want humans to stop hating them just because they're different. This resonated exceptionally well in the Stan Lee comics during the 60s. Being the object of hatred just because you're different still resonates today. Sure, it's a comic book plot with comic book characters, but mostly it works, and for all the right reasons.
For an action movie a large percentage of the dialog is exposition. And if you're going to have voice-overs, you might as well get the best in business. Patrick Stewart goes from making "Captain's Log" entries as Jean Luc-Picard of the Enterprise to teacher giving lessons as Professor X. Ian McKellen has played roles ranging from MacBeth and Richard the III to Adolf Hitler. He's marvelous as the anti-villain Magneto.
Unfortunately, the acting goes downhill from there. The only other notably decent acting is from the lead character, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. He's on the screen the most and gets almost all of the good lines. Fortunately, the producers recognized the wild variation in acting talent and give most of the dialog to Professor X, Magneto and Wolverine. Straight arrow Cyclops is okay, and Storm is good when her eyes are glowing and not so hot when she opens her mouth.
The cinematography is superb. The sequence near the beginning with Professor X and Magneto is as good as Ingmar Bergman did in Persona, and for the same reason. For that scene alone see the movie in theaters and don't wait for the video release where the aspect ratio will kill the emotional impact. The action scenes are fluid and the slow scenes are carefully paced to add to the characters. The set design, miniatures, special effects and costumes are good. With a few exceptions, it doesn't feel like a comic book.
It's a violent movie, not for young kids, in a way that both holds to comic book traditions and breaks them. It helps a lot to have been a fan of the X-Men comic books, but there's enough Patrick Stewart exposition that you'll enjoy the movie even if you've never heard of them before.
Somewhere between the saving-the-world action of James Bond and the moral ambiguity of Princess Mononoke, the X-Men movie works like no other comic book adaptation before. I highly recommend the X-Men, and hope that the sequels are forthcoming.
Intro 6/24/00 Water on Mars, Human Genome Project
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is KFAI, 90.3 FM Minneapolis and 106.7 FM St. Paul, People powered radio, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and well-written stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. This has been a busy week for us futurists. Bill Clinton gave the first "Webside chat" and announces e-government. Look for Firstgov.gov in the coming months. New images of Mars suggest present day sources of water on Mars. Not only that, but salt water. Two research institutes will announce that they've sequenced all (or mostly all) the human genome, that the very basic building blocks of human being have been mapped out.
What does this all mean? Why is it important that we know how DNA is contructed? Why is water on Mars important to us? And are the two related?
Last question first: No, water on Mars and the Human Genome project are not related at all, but they have consequences for each other. Water suggests life. Cracking the DNA code means we can find and examine life. This doesn't mean for certain that life exists on Mars, but if it exists we'll have better tools to examine the similarities and differences between Martians and humans.
Having said that, let's rid ourselves of the image of Chrome-topped high tech Martian invaders or a wise Martian culture hiding themselves beneath the surface. If there is life on Mars, it's likely to be very simple organisms, the equivalent of bacteria or, at best, plankton.
Still, that's not going to stop us from speculating. So tonight we bring you:
The Top 11 Reasons Why We Hope There's Life On Mars<p> 11. News from another planet would distract us from politics here on earth.
10. If there's life on Mars, however simple, that has profound implications for life on other planets.
9. HG Wells, Ray Bradbury and everyone who wrote a Mars story would get reprinted.
8. Televangelists would insist on going to Mars to preach to the Martians in hopes of converting them. If enough go, there won't be any on Earth.
7. We're tired of the food here on earth. We need better restaurants.
6. People will look up for a change.
5. Life on Mars will encourage us to go there. While it's hard to establish diplomatic relations with a bunch of cells, I'm sure someone will try.
4. All us science fiction people can look at the rest of the world and go "neener neener neener".
3. If there's life on Mars, maybe they want to become members of KFAI.
2. More knowledge of how life works can only help the human race.
1. Even simple life will develop. We can always hope that Martians will help us in four billion years when Andromeda collides with the Milky Way Galaxy. We'll need all the help we can get.
Intro July 1, 2000 Bullwinkle
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is KFAI, 90.3 FM and 106.7 FM, St. Paul, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and other stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. For the first time in 35 years, a new Rocky and Bullwinkle has been produced, and it's in movie theaters now.
The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle is only one step away from being a great movie, but watch that first step because it's a doozy. The film doesn't really work as either by itself, as an update to the 1960s cartoon or an homage to the characters. Still, the original Rocky and Bullwinkle wasn't that good either. We remember the show fondly because it was the best of the morass of Howdy Doody garbage on tv and because it was mainly for adults and now we can get all the jokes. The movie has many of the same strengths and weaknesses.
First, the bad news: They don't get the characters right. Oh sure, it's great hearing June Foray doing the voice of Rocky (and the narrator's mother) still sharp after 35 years, but instead of being the Plucky Squirrel who glides on air when given an "Alley Oop!" from Bullwinkle, we've got a disspirited second banana who launches from the ground with contrails. Bullwinkle is much closer, but without a strong Rocky to hold him to what passes for sanity he just comes off as a doofus. Homer without Marge.
Rene Russo as Natasha Fatale doesn't work at all. Jason Alexander as Boris Badenov does a lot with very little, but never does capture the role and never says, "allow me to introduce myself". The chemistry between the two doesn't gel, though they try. The 1992 Boris and Natasha movie, with Dave Thomas and Sally Kellerman, is a much better live take of the two characters.
The main human character, the cleverly named Karen Sympathy, a waif-like FBI agent played by Piper Perabo, has a few nice turns but detracts more than she adds. Introducing a new character is unnecessary; Wrongway Peachfuzz would have been a better guide.
The plot is stupid, but no worse than the original. There was only one joke inthe Mechanical Metal Munching Moon Mice sequence -- eating tv antennas to destroy the economy of America. The basic plot here is more on target. However, some sharp commentary on today's culture is outweighed by how little the characters react to present times; Austin Powers did this much better. Still, the plot is just a vehicle for the gags, as it always was.
Indeed, the good news is that just like the original, the most fun of watching Rocky and Bullwinkle is catching all the nifty stuff going on in the background. The movie isn't really for kids and the incidental humor is far more important than the jokes up front. I predict that this movie will be a VCR favorite as you can stop the tape to catch all the signs.
Watch for things like the hospital sign for the "J" Ward and quickly catch Whoopie Goldberg's introduction as "Judge Cameo". Jonathan Winters has three small juicy bits. Several others pop up in various roles, including Phil Proctor. Be alert: the good parts go by fast.
Most of the characters are presented so badly that you wonder if the writer actually saw any of the original series, but the narrator is great and Robert DeNiro has a ball as Fearless Leader. The little cartoon opening is fun. The computer animation is okay. In the credits, the actual drawn cartoons are listed as "traditional animation". On the other hand, the music is startlingly out of place.
There's at least one scene in the trailer that isn't in the movie, leading me to believe that it's been cut and recut several times. Perhaps this is a movie for the DVD release so we can see the alternate versions and outtakes.
I'll recommend this movie to anyone who enjoyed the tv show and who remembers it fondly. You will like The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle a lot better if you don't have very high expectations.
(Get Doug's review, etc)
("Rocky and Bullwinkle Theme" from Birdsongs of the Mesozoic)
Walter Matthau died yesterday at 79, but since he didn't appear in many science fiction movies, we're not going to talk about him. We do have another bit of synchronicity for the Shockwave audience. Today is Canada's 133 birthday. To celebrate both the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie and Canadian Independence Day, we're going to play a Dudley Doright parody, written by Brian Westley and performed by the Shockwave Riders in front of a live audience at Minicon in 1983 as part of the larger Closing Ceremonies. This is how a parody should be done. Next time, they should get Brian to write the movie. But for now, here's the Shockwave take on Dudley Doright. Historical note for those keeping track: The disclaimer in the beginning was real, forced upon several Canadian films by the Reagan administration.
Intro 6/3/00 UFOs
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now. This is KFAI, 90.3 FM Minneapolis and 106.7 FM St. Paul, the galaxy's voice for information, entertainment, and otherworldly stuff, and you're riding the Shockwave...
Good evening, I'm your host, David E Romm. With me is Brian Westley, Mary Matos and Doug Friauf. Hello to everyone listening to Shockwave over the Internet! Tonight we have a very special show for you. Last week, the French military released a study. The report states that 5% of the UFO sightings cannot be explained and that UFOs, if they exist, pose a significant threat to the military security of the world. Thanks to one of our listeners, who called in last week to point out the story. If you have any suggestions or comments, please e-mail me at dave@romm.org. Here is the story, as published in the Star Tribune last Sunday, May 28th: (read)
Could this be true? Should the country, if not the world, act on these recommendations? We'll have a few other reports and astronomical events, but for right now, here's Shockwave's:
Top 11 Reasons the United States Should Investigate for UFOs and ETs:
11) Independence Day was only a movie, but so was Tora Tora Tora.
10) We should be exploring the moon and the solar system, and we're not. Anything that encourages investigation of space has got to be good.
9) Anyone who walked on the moon has to be taken seriously.
8) Sure, they laughed at UFOs, but they also laughed at Bob Hope.
7) Hundreds of web sites couldn't be wrong, could they?
6) Even if it comes to nothing, this will provide gainful employment for hundreds of people.
5) (darkly) That's just what they want you to think.
4) Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Wouldn't you like a few other choices?
3) Maybe some of those UFO sightings are Bigfoot flying to visit the Loch Ness Monster. We could find out about three mysteries at once!
2) This will generate more Science Fiction!
1) If Congress can spend five years and $50 million dollar to investigate the president's sex life, it can investigate UFOs with a straight face.
Intro 2/5/00 Elian If you're not listening, please turn on your radio.... Now. This is KFAI, 90.3FM in Mpls and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, and you're riding the Shockwave. I'm your host Dave Romm, and with me as usual are Doug Friauf, Brian Westley and Mary Matos
Tonight, we have a very special show for you. We are briefly celebrating the Chinese New Year, which begins today, and passing on the information that they are planning to launch a manned space rocket sometime in this, the year of the Dragon. We'll get back to that in a minute.
But first, a Shockwave Editorial. As usual, this editorial, or indeed anything said on this program, does not necessarily reflect the opinion of KFAI, its board of directors, members, volunteers, groupies, the people who pass by the street or even the person saying them, and any opinions stated are solely the responsibility of the person talking, who may change his or her mind at any moment.
Let's examine the sad case of Elian Gonzolez. The facts have been stated over and over and over, so let's just stick with a brief recap: Elian's mother, kidnapping him from his father's stable home, attempts to swim from Cuba to the US and proceeds to drown. Six-year-old Elian survives, and is immediately made a political pawn by knee-jerk anti-Castro politicians. His distant relatives have been holding him, bribing him with visits to Disneyland and such, and unscrupulous politicians, denying any attempt at family values, have tried all sorts of political end arounds to keep the kid away from his father. The Immegration and Naturalization Service, the INS, ruled quickly that the kid should be reunited with his parent, but Indiana Republican Dan Burton, who hasn't seen his own illegitimate child, has taken Elian under his wing and is trying to get special dispensation to make him a US Citizen, so he can go on welfare. Senator Bob Smith, the occasional Republican, is also getting in on the act.
Frankly, I think everyone is missing out on a golden opportunity. Remember the Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode where Picard and company find the Borg child? They determine that they can plant a virus in the semi-mechanical Borg that will bring down the entire Borg collective. They ultimately decide to do what 's best for the child, but the concept is a good one.
So, here's my proposal. We should do the obviously right thing and send Elian Gonzolez back to his father. However, we should send Elian back... with Pokemon. Enough to get him and his friends hooked, so they want more. What better way to bring down the Communist government of Fidel Castro than to have the kids demanding Japanese toys they can mainly get through American fast food companies? Let's do the right thing, twice: Send Elian back to Cuba with Pokemon. Keep the family together but bring down Castro! Yeah.
January 8, 2000 Y2K
If you're not listening, please turn on your wireless transmitter.... Now. This is KFAI, 90.3FM in Mpls and 106.7 FM in St. Paul, and you're riding the Shockwave.
Tonight, we have a very special show for you. Fears of a Y2K disaster have proven false, at least so far. Certainly this program was unaffected. And despite no Y2K problems, we will bring you Shockwave for January 8, 1900. No, the 20th Century doesn't begin until 1901, but that didn't stop us from partying like its 1899, and won't stop us from celebrating this odometer year. Hello, I'm your host Dave Romm, with me tonight on the wireless is Brian Westley and Doug Friauf.
Let's start off, as everyone does, by predicting what will happen in the 1900s. Will the 20th Century be all that different from the 19th just completed? We don't know for sure, of course, but we can extrapolate from recent trends. So here is
The Top 11 Predictions of the 20th Century Based On Events of the 1890s.
11. The United States has been expanding its borders since the Revolution in 1776, most recently acquiring the Phillipines and Carribean Islands during the Spanish American War. I see no reason why we won't continue to expand, acquiring more Pacific territory, gobbling up Mexico and all of Canada except Quebec, and perhaps reaching farther into Central and South America.
10. Within the US, cities will follow the example of New York, which recently consolidated five cities into Greater New York City. Soon, cities from Boston to Providence will combine into one, as will Baltimore and Washington DC and Minneapolis and St. Paul. (Brian: "Minni-Paul") Bigger and better cities, with taller buildings and bigger commerce will be the key.
9. America will become more industrialized. Our farms are and will be the backbone of the economy, but since it's inception in 1896, the Dow Jones Industrials have leaped from 46 to flirting with 75! Though I personally took a bath when Laclede was removed from Dow Jones Industrials in 1899, the rise of industry can only continue. In the next century, I see the stock market moving continually up and up. I'm going out on a limb here, and predict that by the year 2000, the Dow will rise to over 1000!
8. The horseless carriage will continue to be a toy for the rich, but the noisy, smelly motorcar will not catch on. They scare the horses and get stuck in the mud and are just too expensive. However, rail traffic will rise. People will get on their trains or underground railway to travel great distances just to go shopping or to a park or a vaudeville performance.
7. William McKinley will win election to his second term as President of the US. While I don't approve of dumping the proven Garrett Hobart for the untested Theodore Roosevelt for Vice President, McKinley's fine performance during the recent economic crash and victory in the Spanish-American War will help him defeat William Jennings Bryant and Eugene Debs.
6. Thomas Edison's inventiveness will continue to astonish and change the world. The electric light has already replaced streetlamps in many cities, and will soon light up roadways and buildings. Factories can work 24 hours a day, and schools can been in session 24 hours. No more studying by candlelight, Mr. Lincoln, you'll be able to take night classes. The telephone and telegraph are just the beginning of communication breakthroughs. Soon, we'll be able to talk to people across the oceans, or even run a wire all the way to the moon! Wireless transmissions will make emergency calls from ships possible, and, of course, local programs like this one, but you can't have the phlogistan too full of electrons or people will get sick. Wires will get thicker and thicker as more and more people talk.
5. China, recently defeated by the Western nations in the Boxer rebellion, will continue to decline, possibly gobbled up by the Tsar for the Russian Empire.
4. The Looking Backward Societies are no longer as popular as they once were. Edward Bellamy's prediction of an egalitarian society proved popular with readers, but when his ideas entered the political arena in with the Progressive Parties, they quickly fizzled out. The socialism proposed by Karl Marx and Max Engels is similarly unattractive beyond a certain quick look. I predict that more and more countries will abandon egalitarian notions in favor of Empires like the Austrian-Hungarian or Ottoman Empire, or true democracies like the US.
3. The health fad that brought people out of the houses to ride bicycles will be short lived. There will be a reaction to the mixing of the sexes in this unsupervised form. It's one thing for young women to be outside, it's another for them to be showing their (I can barely say it) their legs in public. Women should be adored and cherished, not displayed in a wanton fashion. Being healthy is good, acting like a burlesque queen is bad.
2. Roetengen and the Curies developing X-Rays, so the human body will soon have no secrets and disease will be conquered. Everyone will have a weekly or daily x-ray to monitor what's happening inside you.
1. Vaudeville will never die! With acts like Houdini, the King of Handcuffs, touring the circuit, America's unquentiable thirst for entertainment will drive theaters (and programs like this one).
I thought Bruce Goldstein best films of the 90's list was a nice touch.
Here are his best films of the 90's:
Edison Kinetoscopic Record of a Sneeze (Fred Ott's Sneeze) (William K.L.
Dickson, Edison Company, 1894)
La Sortie des usines Lumiere (Louis Lumiere, December 28, 1895)
L'arroseur arrose (Louis Lumiere, 1895)
L'arrive d'un train a gare de Vincennes (Georges Melies, 1896)
The Kiss (Edison Manufacturing Company, 1896)
The Empire State Express (American Mutuscope Company, 1896)
Corbett and Fitzsimmons Fight (Enoch Rector, 1897)
Brave Cubans Firing at Spanish Soldiers (1898)
Cripple Creek Barroom (William K.L. Dickson, 1898)
Cinderella (George Albert Smith, 1898)
Dec 25, 1999: Time Capsules
Here we speculated on what would be in time capsules from various eras, and what to put in them.
From Time Capsule buried in 1979:
"Free the hostages" t-shirt
Billy Beer
Apple II
Manual for IBM Displaywiter, dedicated word processor from the world's largest computer company.
Record of the Rolling Stones
Minnesota North Stars Cap
AD&D Expansion set
Star Wars Poster
Doonesbury cartoon strip
Polyester disco outfit
For Time Capsule buried in 1999 to be opened in 2999:
Al Gore "I invented the Internet" mouse pad, distributed by the RNC (hard to believe they'd shoot themselves in the foot, but this is the GOP...)
print out of amazon.com stock certificate
MP3 player filled with rap and techno music
DVD of Disney movie
An illegally modified automatic weapon
Randy Moss Crunch breakfast cereal (?)
Pokemon trading card
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace mpeg trailer for your computer
Mall of America t-shirt
Peanuts cartoon strip
From Time Capsule buried in 2019 and dug up in 1999 (science fiction is so much fun)
A wuzzle
Interestingly, a vinyl record or the Rolling Stones
Minnesota Wild Championship commemorative sports bra
A Palm XXII 48Gigahertz auto pen w/2 Terabytes of memory and built in microphone and Internet II connection
Star Wars Episode IX: Jedi Triumphant HDTV Trailer for your FireWire connected Home Entertainment System
SPF 98 Orange Flavored Sun block, for travelling to places with no ozone layer and poor restaurants
"Re-elect Chelsea Clinton" teflon bumper sticker
Sandman graphic novel, translated into Spanish
Intro 9/25/1999
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now.
This is Fresh Air Radio, KFAI 90.3FM Minneapolis, 106.7FM in St. Paul, and you're riding the Shockwave.
Good evening. I'm your host, Dave Romm. With me tonight is Brian Westley and Doug Friauf. Tonight we have a very special show for you. Shockwave has been on the air for 20 years, and tonight we will celebrate the occasion. Thanks to Jerry Stearns of Sound Affects for allowing us to have the whole hour for this special show. Later on we will be airing a pre-recorded interview I did with Jesse the governor Ventura.
But first, a little history. Way back in the wilds of 1979, when 48k of RAM was a lot for a personal computer, before the Sony introduced the Walkman, while Bill Clinton was in his first term as Governor of Arkansas, when AIDS was usually preceded by Roll, three guys on a fledgling community station started a program to play science fiction music, named after John Brunner's Shockwave Rider. Chris Dronen, Everett Forte and Charles E Hamilton III were on for six weeks before they approached the science fiction fan community. They signed up a lot of us fans, and this is the 20th Anniversary of that show, aired September 19, 1979. Chris and Everett stayed as engineers and producers, and you'll hear some of their work tonight. Everything I know about radio production I learned from them. Thanks guys.
During the 20 years, many people of enormous talent have been Shockwave Riders. Too many to list all of them here, you can go to the Shockwave Radio web site for more info. Www.romm.org (spell) is my site which links to it, rather than trying to give you the longer url. A few people deserve special thanks, so allow me to take a moment to thank them. Aside from the people already mentioned, the presence of Kara Dalkey is felt, even though she has moved on Colorado. Her books are wonderful and highly recommended. Same with Emma Bull, a writer and musician who you will hear a lot of tonight. Minicon has been the setting for 19 Live Stage Shows, some of which will be excerpted tonight. And while we've had many theme songs over the years, the current one is Baka, by Outback, playing now.
Be sure to go to the web page and enter the 20th Anniversary Contest! Details on the web site, www.romm.org
And now, tonight's Top 11 List. Many people ask me, 'Dave, why Top 11?' so I might as well clear that up right now. You see, some other guy's list only goes to 10, but our list goes all the way to 11! It's a Shockwave tradition: Why make fun of one thing when you can just as easily make fun of two things at the same time?
Over the years, Shockwave has aired some great lines, cruel puns, obscure references, odd situations and weird juxtapositions. We've don't look at the world in quite the same way as anyone else, even Jesse Ventura. We can't do justice to whole skits, but here is:
The Top 11 punchlines over 20 years of Shockwave:
11. We're saving up to make Mom bionic
10. I'm the Butler, Didit
9. I am Sancho Panza, the gruntled and consolate
8. We went through the guard's pockets to a narrow hallway and slipped
out the back door
7. Allow me to introduce Abbot Ann Costello, the non-sequitarian
6. I don't think we're in toto anymore, Kansas.
5. Pillow futures are down
4. It's not how big it is, it's how many mice you can fit inside
3. The Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained
2. Yes, my lord, but that is a different movie.
1. That's one small step... say, NASA, there are some footprints here already...
Intro 8/28/99 Minnesota State Fair
If you're not listening, please turn on your radio now.
This is KFAI 90.3FM Minneapolis, 106.7FM in St. Paul, and you're riding the Shockwave.
Good evening. I'm your host, Dave Romm. With me tonight is Brian Westley and Doug Friauf. Tonight we have a very special show for you. There have been tremendous advancements in digital music technology in the past few years, and we'll be exploring Reed Waller's new CD. But first, the Minnesota State Fair. Last year for the fair, we had a jerky tasting live on the show, so you would know which of the many jerkies to get. This year, the choices are more limited: no emu jerky. Doesn't seem fair, somehow. Still, to make up for the lack of emu jerky, there is lots of jerkymaking equipment available. Jerky shooter, jerky spices, everything except the meat itself. Modern technology is so wonderful. Still, for all the Fair has to offer, there are foods missing. So here is:
The Top 11 food that the Minnesota State Fair does NOT have:
11. Emu jerky, of course.
10. Emu on a stick. A bit redundant, I suppose, but it's still lacking.
9. Rhinocerous tacos.
8. Olives stuffed with wildebeast.
7. Kosher ribs. In fact, kosher anything.
5. Breakfast plantain burritos.
4. Egg cream.
3. Mini donuts on a stick.
2. An anchovy cinnamon malt, with extra fennel.
1. Good beer.
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No station IDs were harmed in the making of this web page.
Mail to David E Romm