Years ago, I was a part of a group of friends I'm pleased to still keep in touch with to this day. We were members of the University of Minnesota Gaming Society and the Fantasy Role Playing Games Association ... or "UMGS" and "FRPGA" for short. We would meet twice weekly to talk, socialize and play games of all types. Then, one day while mowing my mother's lawn, an idea came to me. Actually, it was a sentence ... and it needed fleshing out. But from those few words, "The Mad Penguin sat in the darkened cockpit of the Dreamer's Folly..." sprung an idea that I've adored ever since. I would put forth a story -written by members of UMGS and FRPGA- that starred those self-same members in a semi-alternate-Universe setting of Science Fiction. I began by writing the first installment, followed by other members who quickly warmed to the surreal idea. We ranged from serious SF to pulp fiction to comic books to Anime to comedy and back again. It was a great amount of fun... And, for the first time on the web, here it is...

In The Dreamstate: Part Four
by Scott K. Jamison

There were things about this job that Agent Clish hated. This was several of them. The tentacles, those sucking noises, the smell and taste of wet fur ... and that was just in the lobby waiting for Michelle to finish with her previous customer.

Monty didn't know how she did it, but Michelle had the most amazing list of clients, who told her almost everything. Ah, the jelly oozing down the stairs was obviously the one Michelle was with. Sure enough, they called his code-name to go up.

Attempting to brush the ochre stains from his tunic, Clish stepped out into the marginally fresher air of Scumtown. He gave a shudder as he contemplated the information Michelle had given him. A name he'd hoped never to hear again, and a plot too monstrous to allow. His boss wouldn't like it, but there was only one ship fast enough to get there in time. Monty pulled out his pocket Rolocomp, and dialed the special number...

Hans sighed. His unit had taken severe crossfire as soon as they'd entered the city. Apparently the Mad Penguin's forces had cracked the defense computer. Luckily, he'd borrowed a trick or two from the mercenaries. His own commando unit, D.I.Y., was ready for its suicide mission. Steve "Juggler" Birmingham - explosives and thrown weapons expert, Yu Ki "what" Lao - computer whiz and martial artist, Dave "never sleeps" Rust - utility man, and the enigmatic L. Frank - reputed to be the third-best assassin in the galaxy.

"Men," began Hans, "the invaders have apparently taken over the city's central computer system. That is both their strength and their weakness. While we occupied the city earlier, I got acquainted with the layout." The seasoned rebel unrolled a plastic map.

"The weak point of the computer is in here, in the second photonic relay point. Thanks to cost-cutting when the system was built, deactivating the relay will sever the computer's control over weaponry and life-support functions. With the life support off, the native troops will have the advantage again, and less dangerous approaches. I've worked the easiest route. Any questions?"

"No."

"Nope."

"If we get, what, captured by the enemy...?"

"You die like the others."

Frank was silent as usual.

"Penguin! We're receiving a burst transmission from the surface. It's a coded signal from F.R.P."

"Have the computer decode it, then put it up on my screen." This had better be good; he was already tiring of this planet. He tasted his drink and grimaced. Too much "Synth-" in the "-ahol" again. He tapped the keyboard to fine-tune the mix, and nothing happened.

The Mad Penguin punched the communications panel... nothing. Damn! He'd have to go up to the main bridge personally. He clanked out to the elevator, then realized that they'd probably be out too.

He popped the panel on the maintenance shaft, levered himself, and began to crawl. To bad humans had lost the habit of stairs....

Half an hour later, he kicked out the maintenance panel on the bridge and emerged to a scene of panic. Communications officer Joella was actually consulting the manual, but seemingly having no luck.

"What in the name of Fineline is going on here?" demanded the warborg.

"Penguin sir! It started when we loaded the burst transmission. The computer went out of control! It's maintaining normal functions, but won't accept new orders. It's been communication with the source of that burst transmission."

"F.R.P.? What have those maniacs done now?"

"I don't think it's them necessarily, sir. The transmissions are too rapid for human operators. Maybe the rebels have captured F.R.P.'s Comm unit and hooked it up to a Trojan Horse program. That would indicate a programmer of considerable ability has joined the rebellion."

"Impossible! Only three men could devise... urm. Joella, put that down... O.K., only three beings could devise a way around Imperial computer security. One's the Emperor's personal programmer, one's in an insane asylum, and the third works for me... Clasen! He's in F.R.P.! But he hates the rebels! Why would he?"

"Sir! Transmissions to the surface have ceased! The sub-space transmitter is in operation!"

"Where's it going? Trace it quickly!"

"It's... the Imperial Throneworld. Straight to the heart of the Empire..."

They watched for tense minutes as the message, whatever it was, transmitted itself. Finally, it ceased.

"Sir, we have control again. Checking files, no apparent damage. Wait a moment, there's a message from our intruder."

"On screen, Mr. Joella." She grimaced.

The screen showed one word in bright red phonetics. "ABAYO."

Senator Widerski relaxed in his bath with the three nubile maidservants Senator Comeau had lent him. Rank had its privileges, and so did clinging to the coattails of rank. He smiled as the violet-haired one kneaded his back.

There was a crashing noise at the entrance. An Imperial Intelligence agent in full dress uniform, accompanied by a squad of Fog Troopers, entered. He swaggered over to the pool and looked down sternly. Bob covered himself in a reflex action. The women did not seem to mind the intruder.

"Who are you, and how dare you barge in here!" It came out more as a squeak than a roar.

"Special agent Ditty of the Imperial Intelligence Corps. Senator Robert Widerski, you are under arrest."

"What's the charge? You can't do this to me! I have friends in high places, you know."

"You have a 10.83 credit overdue fine from the Imperial Library. By proclamation of Timothy the First, overdue library fines are a disintegration-level offense."

"No! I'm innocent, I tell you!" He grabbed the short brunette and held her in front of him. Fog troopers, so called because anyone taken by them was difficult to see, leapt into the pool and pried him loose from his oversexed shield."

"No women where you're going, bigshot," joked one. The humor was lost on the Senator, but the other Troopers seemed to appreciate it. "'Scuse us ladies. If you ever wanna hook up with a real man, come 'round the barracks and ask for Wayne3." They dragged the Senator from the room, not even letting him have a towel.

Coslett switched off the viewscreen. The raid had gone excellently. No one messed with I.I. There was now only one problem that actually vexed him. Where was Clish? There were no signs of struggle at his apartment, he'd left no messages, nothing to indicate where he'd gone. That meant he'd found a clue that had to be followed up immediately, or been taken by experts. With almost all his agents on the Senate investigation, he couldn't spare any to look for Clish.

"May the Lord protect and guide you, Monty, wherever you are."

Pietro didn't like it at all. The rebels were holding back as though they were waiting for something. Armor? Reinforcements? Was this just a diversion while the real attack came elsewhere? At least he was out of that accursed environment suit.

The pirate ship Zwilnik hung in the asteroid swarm like a wolf among sheep. A small craft approached and docked with the dark ship.

"Better give him the hallucinase now."

Jason opened His eyes. He felt strangely heavy. Where was His multi-colored aura? The choir of angels that sang His praises? He no longer felt the lightning through His veins.

He seemed to be in a rather dingy starship, looking at a parrot perched on a control panel. There was something odd about it. Its head was disproportionately large and malformed. It spoke.

"*SKRWK* Welcome, Jason Theis. I have been waiting for you."

"Why have you brought Us here? What have you done with Our splendour?"

"I am Aaron Boyden, the *SKRAW* most intelligent being in the galaxy. I was the one who granted you your splendour. And if you cooperate with me *AWRK* I will restore it."

"We were created by a parrot? We are not amused. Restore Us at once or face Our wrath!"

"I was not always a parrot, Theis. Nor did I ever intend to be one. My brain was to be transplanted into *SKRK* a Rigellian saber-wolf. But the fool surgeon was in a hurry. I killed him and have got a new specialist. As to you, it was I whose genius invented the chemicals that made you what you are."

"We sense you are now telling the truth. What assistance do you require?"

"Before your *SKAK* 'ascension', you were working on a plan to destabilize the Empire. Now that your mind has been exposed to all the information in the galaxy, the plan should be *AWK* fully prepared. You will advise me as I take it over."

"Be serious. The people of the Empire will never accept a parrot as Emperor."

"Ah, but I won't *SWAR* be a parrot. I will be inhabiting the body of a certain handsome and powerful Senator who I have allowed to believe he's controlling me."

"Very well, then, you will return Us to Our full power, and We will assist you in your goals."

*CRASH*

"No, Mr. Theis, you're coming with me," said the figure in space armor who had just stepped through a hole in the hull. His boarding axe still glowed in his hands. Beside him was a stocky, bearded man in the ghost grey uniform of the Universal Adjudicators. The Adjudicator's hand held an emerald jewel, focus/symbol of his powers.

"*AWK!* Agent Clish! And Doctor E. "Smith" E., the Green Renzman!"

"You can call me Ed."

"I thought I'd rid the universe of you when I destroyed your first body on Lilith. This time I'll make sure."

"Wrong, *SRRK* fool! Taste particle beam!" The parrot tapped a button, and blasters popped out of the walls, firing on the intruders. When the smoke cleared, Monty was sprawled on the floor, but Ed still stood, surrounded by a green glowing force field. Ed scanned Agent Clish. Unconscious, but alive. A pity penultimatium armor was useless in natural gravity.

"You have assaulted an Universal Adjudicator. This will be added to the charges against you. Please come quietly or..." His next words were drowned out by the shouts of Boyden's crew, summoned by the noise. Disposing of all of them would take a while.

Meanwhile, the parrot spoke to his 'guest'. "Quickly, Theis, use the information my genius has given you. What are the weaknesses of the Green Renzman?"

"Hmmm... the Renz's physical effects are useless against cellulose fibers found in many vegetable life forms..."

"Wood? *SKWARWK* This is a starship, there's not a scrap of wood on board! Think of another one!" Another three brigands went flying from a pulse of emerald energy.

"The Renz is also ineffective against certain pigments and vibrations, the grouping colloquially known as 'yellow'."

Boyden looked at his yellow beak and claws. "*AWK* Of course! I shall deal with the interloper personally!" He flew at Ed.

His golden claws did indeed pierce the Rensman's shield, and Aaron began pecking Ed about the head and shoulders.

Ed grabbed the parrot with his off-hand. "Betcha didn't know that Universal Adjudicators are trained in hand-to-hand combat, too."

"*SWK* He's got my neck! Theis! Isn't there anything else?"

"There is one other way to defeat a Renzman. They can psychically overcome by superior intellects, but..."

"Why didn't you say so in the first place, *AWK* fool? I am the most intelligent being in the galaxy!" So saying, Aaron hurled his mental force at Ed.

Unfortunately, he had coasted on his naturally high intelligence for years while the Renzman had trained his mind in mental combat for just as long. It was no contest. Further, when Boyden attacked, he let slip all the evidence necessary to convict him. Ed acted in accordance with Adjudicator policy and snapped Boyden's neck, executing the offender.

"No!" cried Jason. "He was Our only hope of returning to omnipotence. You will pay for your effrontery!" He launched his own psychic assault.

Ed was staggered. He'd met many foes as powerful, but none this insane. Even if he survived the battle, he might yet lose his mind....

D.I.Y. crawled through the ventilation shafts, Steve taking the lead as the smallest and fastest.

"It's only 20 meters until the next fan, so we'll duck out into the main corridor in ten," said Hans.

Dave sighed in relief. The cramped quarters did not suit him at all. And there would be 8 more miles of these things before the target.

One by one, the commandos eased themselves out of the ventilator screen. Following the map set in his wristcomp, Hans directed them through several intersections.

Suddenly, the corridor ahead of them was filled with mercenaries, led by the infamous Jim Felling. A rapid-fire burst took Yu Ki in the shoulder, disabling his cybernetic arm.

The rebels returned fire while backing up towards the nearest fire door. A sudden explosion took Dave's legs off at the knees.

"I'll hold them here! You guys get to the target!" Dave said as the painkillers kicked in from his medipak. The others slammed the door behind him as Dave steadied his Rambo repeating blaster. Dave lasted 2.38 seconds, but did score a direct hit on Jim.

Jim picked himself up. "Ha! The rebel didn't even penetrate my uniform!" Then he noticed a soft trickling sound from one of his pockets. "Oh shit! He hit the..."

"Chemical spill of unknown but probably lethal nature in Sector 4/569J. All computer-controlled access routes sealed. Jim's squad performed as predicted, and the rebel infiltrators have been delayed by up to thirty-eight point nine three minutes. All other friendly units are tied down by rebel troops, or are too far away to intercept. Only you, Professor Clasen, stand between them and their goal." The viewscreen image returned to a man's face.

"That shouldn't be much of a problem. The rebel scum will never know what hit them. Victory is ours."

"Incorrect. Even if the rebel squad fails, the strain of maintaining the city at Earth-norm conditions is seriously over-stressing the life support systems. I estimate breakdown of those systems in twelve hours and twenty three point oh-four minutes. At that point, the genegeneered colonists making up the rebel forces will have a decided advantage."

"What?No, don't repeat it. I hadn't realized..."

"Put your mind at ease. I have taken steps to assure continuation. If you start now, you should just be able to reach their goal ahead of them."

"Right! We will discuss the systems overload when I return." Todd gestured, and his cleanup crew followed him out of the room.

SCOTT chuckled. "If you return, I will continue, but you are headed for certain death. Revenge is illogical, but you did pick an illogical person to kill. I would have been more direct in my retaliation, but I now have more important concerns. Who would have suspected that this puny citycomp holds the secret of... the DreamState?"

"Senator Comeau? I have bad news."

"Speak, Kellen."

"You asked me to keep an eye out for a trading vessel to be brought through Customs without excess bureaucracy?"

"Yes, what of it?"

"It appears to have exploded and no survivors. The energy signature suggests that a Renzman was involved. No trace of him either."

"Understood." The Senator flicked off the communicator and made a mental note to get rid of the Port Inspector. The loss of Theis was... unfortunate, but it did save him the trouble of 'rewarding' Boyden."

His communicator beeped again. Irritated, he flicked it open. The viewscreen was blank.

"Greetings, Senator," came a cold, clearly mechanically altered voice. "You don't know me, but I've got some information...."

Continue to Part Five...