Title: Allez Cuisine 2 (Iron Chef/CLAMP -- NAMES version)
When: It's silliness, so the times are skewed, but approximately during the timeframe including the CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan manga.
What: Lots and lots of silliness.
Status: Finished! (Yes, I really can finish things!)
Notes: This is the episode of Iron Chef following the first Allez Cuisine fic, which was written by J and can be found here. Be sure to read that one first! The ending of that one is what really necessitated the writing of this one. Nokoru in Kaga's role was just too much to pass up. This version has the names of people who are speaking. I don't think it's impossible to figure it out (and it flows better without them), but if you're not sure, go ahead and check. Also, it seems to me that Kentarou is in full Kenpii-mode, so that's what I've called him. The version without names is back here.

Nokoru: Watakushi no kioku ga tashika naraba.. I think that's how it goes. Since my purchase of Kitchen Stadium from Chairman Kaga, there has been something of a hiatus while we had it transported to the CLAMP Campus and set up to accomodate our special needs.

Nokoru: But now, preparations are complete, and I'm proud to be introducing the first battle in Kitchen Stadium's new home!

Nokoru: Our challenger today is the daughter of a very wealthy family, but her status in society hasn't stopped her from exercising her numerous talents, and she is known very well in her neighborhood as an excellent cook, among other things. Interestingly enough, she is about the same age as our own Iron Chef. Today we welcome Daidouji Tomoyo, age ten!

Kenpii: "Our challenger enters the stadium today fully prepared with.. a video camera? She seems to be quite relaxed and very interested in the audience."

Sakura: "Ganbatte, Tomoyo-chan!"

Tomoyo: "Oh, Sakura-chan, you look so great! Hold up the sign! Kyaaaa!"

Nokoru: Ahem. It's a great honor to have you as the first challenger in our redone Kitchen Stadium.

Tomoyo: "Arigatou gozaimasu."

Nokoru: You seem to have some good friends up there cheering you on today. I'm always glad to see girls as happy as you all seem to be.

Tomoyo: "I'm very glad that Sakura-chan could come to watch me today. I made her an outfit especially for the occasion."

Nokoru: How interesting. It seems you have a remarkable number of talents.

Tomoyo: "Oh, it was my pleasure."

Nokoru: Hmm. As you may know, when we moved this contest to the CLAMP Campus, it was unanimously decided that we needed only one Iron Chef, because no one else at the school can really compare to our top talent in that area.

Nokoru: So, without further delay, I summon.. the Iron Chef!

Kenpii: "Ah, and now we see the pride of the campus rising into the stadium. Iron Chef CLAMP, Ijyuin Akira! Just listen to the cheers! The contestants will quickly take their places and then Imonoyama-kaichou will announce the theme ingredient!"

Nokoru: This being our first battle here on campus, I felt that we needed to come up with a theme that would be as memorable as some of the ones that were chosen by the previous owner. I've done the best I could to select something that would be a challenge to both the Iron Chef and Tomoyo-san without giving either of them an unfair advantage. Today's ingredient was extremely diffcult to obtain, and I had to go through many personal trials to secure it.

Nokoru: Kyou no tema wa.. kore desu.

Sakura: "Hoeeee! Oniichan?!"

Nokoru: Psst. Suoh, you should try and look happier. This is being televised, you know.

Suoh: "I said I'd do this if you did your paperwork. I didn't say anything about looking /happy/."

Touya: "You're doing this so he'd do paperwork?"

Suoh: "You have no idea what I go through. Why, what are you doing it for?"

Touya: "It pays a lot better than the aquarium."

Suoh: "Ah."

Nokoru: ALLEZ CUISINE!

Kenpii: "There appears to be some excitement over Imonoyama-kaichou's choice of the theme ingredient. I must say that neither of them look to be enjoying themselves very much. I wonder if that will affect the flavor of the dishes? Ah, well, while the two chefs attempt to choose their portions, let's introduce our panel for today."

Kenpii: "Our first guest is a student here at CLAMP Gakuen, a very promising young flute player and the secretary of the kindergarten section. Azuya Nagisa, welcome to Kitchen Stadium."

Suoh: "WHAT?! Kaichou, you never said anything about her being on the panel!"

Nagisa: "Why thank you, Higashikunimaru-sempai."

Nokoru: Ah, gomen, Suoh. It was part of the deal.

Kenpii: "That's an interesting fan you have there. Is there a reason you keep opening and closing it?"

Suoh: "What deal?!"

Nagisa: "Hmm? Oh.. not really.. it's just that Imonoyama-kaichou gave it to me when I said Takamura-san could be an ingredient, but I can't seem to get it to work right."

Nokoru: A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Kenpii: "What do you expect it to do?"

Suoh: "Kaichou..."

Nagisa: "The writing won't change."

Kenpii: "Um.. oookay.. moving on, we have Tsukishiro Yukito, a high school student from another school. This is your second time in Kitchen Stadium, isn't it, Tsukishiro-san?"

Yukito: "Yes, I was on the panel with you for the bishounen battle, which was very interesting."

Kenpii: "I've heard you're actually classmates with one of the ingredients, is that right?"

Yukito: "It certainly is. Hi, To-ya!"

Touya: "Yuki.."

Kenpii: "Ooh, you have nicknames for each other! That's so great! I think we need to talk later. The last member of our panel is.. um.. is a flying stuffed animal who talks.."

Kero: "I'm not a stuffed animal!"

Nokoru: He's a great expert on food. That's why I hired him.

Kenpii: "A-hem. Of course, Imonoyama-kaichou. The last member of our panel is the noted expert, Kero-chan."

Kero: "That's better. Hmf. Stuffed animal. Well, I see the ingredients have been carried off to the two sides. The Iron Chef seems to have gotten the bigger one."

Kenpii: "Hmm.. I missed how that happened. Maybe our reporter on the floor can clear that up."

Takeshi: "Kentarou!"

Kenpii: "Yes, Takepon! Can you tell us what happened?"

Takeshi: "Don't call me that! Takamura-kun seems to have been very suspicious of the Iron Chef when he came to collect his ingredient, and voluntarily went along with our challenger, leaving the larger one for the Iron Chef."

Kenpii: "An interesting development, wouldn't you agree, Tsukishiro-san?"

Yukito: "Oh yes, I can't wait to taste what the Iron Chef will do with To-ya."

Kenpii: "Mmm.. he looks like a quality ingredient. Makes me wish I got to be on the tasting panel."

Takeshi: "Hey!"

Kenpii: "Yes, Takepon! Is there something else going on?"

Takeshi: "No.. just.. nevermind."

Announcer: 15 MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED

Nagisa: "Oh, Tomoyo-san is doing something to Takamura-san!"

Kenpii: "You're right, Nagisa. She appears to be.. measuring him? Kero-chan, what do you think she could be doing?"

Kero: "I think she's going to dress him up."

Kenpii: "Dress him up? That would be.. unusual. Well, you're the expert. Time will tell if you're right. I wonder if she has anything cooking yet? Did you see anything, Tsukishiro-san?"

Yukito: "To-ya's clothes are almost off."

Kenpii: "I guess you're not really paying attention to the challenger. Hey, Takepon! Do you have any information for us? Takepon!"

Takeshi: "..."

Kenpii: "Darling! Did you fall asleep! Hello?!"

Takeshi: "Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Stop calling me that! It's not normal!"

Kenpii: "Is something the matter, Takepon?"

Takeshi: "Oh, I give up. What did you want?"

Kenpii: "Can you tell us what the challenger is doing? What has she started cooking?"

Takeshi: "It appears that she has her assistants making some cake and ice cream, but she herself has brought in a sewing machine and is making something out of cloth."

Kenpii: "That doesn't sound very edible to me, Takepon. Are you sure?"

Takeshi: "Yes, I'm sure! Can't you see for yourself?! At the sewing machine she has cotton, satin, sequins and what appear to be buttons."

Kenpii: "What a fascinating development. Thank you, Takepon. Do you have any thoughts on dressing up the ingredient, Nagisa?"

Nagisa: "I think Takamura-san would be as lovely in a dress as Imonoyama-kaichou."

Kenpii: "As.. Imonoyama-kaichou.. anou.. Nagisa, are you saying that Imonoyama-kaichou wears dresses?"

Nagisa: "Only once that I know of."

Takeshi: "Kentarou!"

Kenpii: "Yes, Takepon!"

Announcer: 30 MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED

Takeshi: "The Iron Chef has finished preparing his ingredient, and appears to be covering him partially with cookie dough. When I asked him why he was doing this, he told me that if he didn't, the ice cream would slide off and probably melt besides."

Kenpii: "Do you think that means he's making an ice cream sandwich?"

Takeshi: "It's not clear yet what the dish will eventually be."

Kenpii: "And he's using all of the ingredient for this one dish? It better be quite impressive! Yes, Tsukishiro-san? Did you have a comment?"

Yukito: "I just wanted to agree with the Iron Chef about the ice cream. It melts faster than you'd think."

Touya: "Oi, Yuki.."

Sakura: "Hoeeee!"

Tomoyo: "Sakura-chan, are you okay?"

Kenpii: "Hmm, it looks like the challenger has left her kitchen to run over to the audience box. Takepon, do you know what's going on?"

Takeshi: "The girl our challenger was videotaping before seems to have gone all swirly-eyed. Tomoyo-san, her ingredient, and another boy are trying to wake her up."

Touya: "Is that kid here?! Hey, you, get away from my sister!"

Akira: "Aaah, Touya-san, you need to stay still or the dough will fall off!"

Kenpii: "Oh dear, now the Iron Chef's ingredient has gotten up and is on his way over to the box, followed by Ijyuin and his assistants -- much to the delight of the crowd, I must say."

Announcer: 45 MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED

Takeshi: "Kentarou!"

Kenpii: "Yes, Takepon!"

Takeshi: "/Must/ you call me that every time?"

Kenpii: "What else would I call you, Takepon?"

Takeshi: "*sigh* The contestants and ingredients have now returned to their respective sides, and the girl seems to be doing better -- she's now sitting with Ohkawa-kaichou from the kindergarten section."

Kenpii: "That's wonderful news, Takepon. Kero-chan, we haven't had any observations from you for a-- hey! What is that? Are you playing a video game?!"

Kero: "This is boring. I wanted to eat!"

Kenpii: "Oi, oi."

Announcer: 5 MINUTES REMAINING

Kenpii: "Things have calmed down considerably now, as everyone scrambles to finish their dishes in time. So far the challenger's assistants have put out a large cake and some dishes of ice cream, as well as what appear to be bento boxes. But she herself is still sewing quite intently, and it's unclear how she means to use the theme ingredient."

Nagisa: "But Takamura-san will look so nice in that shade of yellow."

Kenpii: "Hmm.. as for the Iron Chef, he seems to be having problems finding a dish large enough to serve with. Takepon, can you give us more details?"

Takeshi: "Well, there just isn't a platter that's large enough for his dish. Perhaps this was something that wasn't anticipated when the kitchen was stocked."

Kenpii: "Can you tell us what has gone into the dish besides the cookie dough and the ice cream?"

Takeshi: "Well, after repairing the damage caused by his moving around, Ijyuin has layered ice cream, whipped cream, fudge sauce, rainbow sprinkles, cherries and coconut on top of his main ingredient."

Yukito: "And walnuts."

Kenpii: "What was that, Tsukishiro-san?"

Yukito: "The Iron Chef put walnuts on To-ya too. I saw him."

Kenpii: "Is that true, Takepon? Can you confirm it?"

Takeshi: "Yes, I'm sorry, there are also walnuts."

Kenpii: "Good eye there, Tsukishiro-san."

Announcer: 1 MINUTE LEFT

Kenpii: "The challenger seems to be doing some last minute hemming, and isn't paying a bit of attention to the cooking going on around her. She's very calm, I must say. The Iron Chef is putting some finishing touches on his dish, but he seems pretty much finished to me."

Announcer: 10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..

Kenpii: "The cooking's done, today's battle is OVAH! Takepon, take my picture!"

Takeshi: "Get down from there, you idiot!"

Kenpii: "I thought it would be more dramatic that way."

Takeshi: "You thought.. argh, I don't believe you, what were you thinking?"

Kenpii: "You should practice being dramatic too."

Takeshi: "Why would I want to do that?"

Kenpii: "Because, silly Takepon, we're GAKUEN TOKKEI DUK..ow!"

Takeshi: "Be quiet! Shut up!"

Erii: "You two.."

Takeshi & Kenpii: "Ow!! Erii, that /hurts/."

Nokoru: Since our announcers all seem to be busy -- today our challenger presents us with three dishes. The first is a lovely bento box, filled with a variety of artfully arranged treats. The next is a sweet and moist angel food cake, topped with strawberries and with a side of chocolate sauce. The final dish is blueberry ice cream, which she says will match very well with her ingredient's hair. It's still not clear from these dishes how she means to accentuate the theme, but I have every confidence in her!

Nokoru: Our Iron Chef fights back with only one dish, but what a dish it is! Stripped of his clothing, his ingredient is indeed an impressive sight, and smothered with an almost bewildering variety of toppings, this Touya Sundae will be a treat indeed.

Announcer: TASTING

Nokoru: Joining our two student panelists will be ice-cream lover Sakurazuka Seishirou, and our Iron Chef's mothers.

Mamas: "Akira-san!"
"Akira-san!"

Akira: "Wha--at? Kaichou, you didn't tell me my mothers were on the panel!"

Nokoru: Oh, didn't I? Sumimasen, Ijyuin. They've assured me they'll be quite impartial in their judging, and I thought they would be very well qualified.

Akira: "B..but there's only supposed to be four judges!"

Nokoru: They'll be sharing a vote. They said they were used to that sort of thing, since they share everything else.

Akira: "Kaichou!"

Nokoru: It's true, isn't it? Now, our challenger will present her dishes first.

Tomoyo: "Thank you, Imonoyama-kaichou. My first dish, as you can see, is this bento box, and it's presented by Takamura-san in a gorgeous outfit of scarlet and purple. Oh, let me get my videotape out!"

Mamas: "Oh, he's so cute!"
"Akira-san, you need to bring him over!"

Suoh: "Kaichou, I can see you laughing behind that fan."

Nokoru: I'm not laughing at you, Suoh, really.

Tomoyo: "Followed by the cake, for which Takamura-san will be wearing an outfit in white and pink which goes very well with the fluffiness of the dish."

Seishirou: "She reminds me of Hokuto-chan, a little. You're not as delicious looking as my Subaru-kun, but you'll do."

Yukito: "It's a feast for the eyes as well as the mouth!"

Nokoru: Very well put, Tsukishiro-san. Are you okay, Suoh? You're looking a little red. I really do like the wings.. Nagisa-san seems to like them very much, too.

Nagisa, Akira, Nokoru: "Takamura-san!"
"Takamura-sempai!"
Suoh!

Seishirou: "I'm only a vet, but I would have to say he's out cold."

Nokoru: Oh dear. And before he served the last dish. Well, we'd better move on to the Iron Chef's dish before it gets too melted.

Akira: "As you can see, I've tried to take advantage of my ingredient's natural hidden sweetness when creating this sundae. Anou.. Tsukishiro-san.. are you listening? You should really leave some for the others.."

Sakura: "Hoeeee! Yukito-san! Oniichan!"

Tomoyo: "Sakura-chan!"

Mamas: "Akira-san, we want one of those!"
"Yes, yes, but we want a Santa sundae!"

Akira: "B.. but.. Santa-san.. um.."

Nokoru: Well, I think that's all the time we have for today.. I'm officially declaring this match a tie! Akira, can I have the recipe too? Before Suoh wakes up?

Nagisa: "I'll get it, Imonoyama-kaichou. Perhaps you should go see if Sakura-san is okay."

Nokoru: Thank you, Nagisa. I think I'll see if Tomoyo-san will leave us that last outfit, too..