The Imponderables

 

There are some questions in this world which simply cannot be answered. These questions are usually referred to as "Imponderable".

I have compiled this list of these so-called imponderables to share with anyone who would like to get a good laugh such as I do. ENJOY!!

-Don

Note: "*" indicates personal favorite

 

  • Why don't they invent a cordless extension cord ?

  • Why do clocks run clockwise ?

  • Has anyone actually laughed all the way to the bank ?

  • Why is it when driving and looking for an address, we turn down the radio ?

  • Why do people remember where they were when someone famous was killed ? (Do they have to prove an alibi?)

  • * If a man is talking in the woods, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

  • Does condensed milk comes from smaller cows ?

  • If a turtle loses its shell, is it considered naked or homeless ?

  • Why did the chicken really cross the road ?

  • Why does an alarm clock go off by going on ?

  • If a vampire cannot see its reflection, how is their hair always so neat ?

  • Is cheese so secret that we must shred it ?

  • When a cow laughs does milk come out its nose ?

  • What do they use to ship styrofoam ?

  • Why do we wait until a pig is dead to cure it ?

  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ?

  • Can you tell how old a pirate is by cutting off his peg leg and counting the rings?

  • Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms ?

  • Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job ?

  • What is another word for thesaurus ?

  • Why do we put suits in a Garment Bag and put garments in a suitcase?

  • If a person thinks marathons are superior to sprints, is that racism ?

  • If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap ?

  • Can fat people go Skinny Dipping ?

  • How do you let someone know that you painted a "wet paint" sign ?

  • Is it possible to have a civil war ?

  • Why do they call it a TV Set, when there is only one ?

  • What happens if you get scared 1/2 to death twice ?

  • Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to ?

  • If you choked a Smurf, what color whould it turn ?

  • Should crematoriums give a discount to burn victims ?

  • * If "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro," is Congress opposed to progress?

  • Is animal shampoo tested on humans?

  • Why don't they call moustaches Mouthbrows?

  • Could it be that boulders are statues of big rocks?

  • Can they put more clowns than people in a Taxi ?

  • Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets ?

  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2 ?

  • * If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themself, would that be considered a hostage situation ?

  • Why is abbreviation such a long word ?

  • How would you throw away a garbage can ?

  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii ?

  • Do vegetarians eat animal crackers ?

  • Do bleach blondes pretend to have more fun ?

  • Why do they but braille numbers on drive-up ATM's ?

  • Why is it when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?

  • Why isn't the word phonetic spelled like it sounds ?

  • Why is it a pair of pants, but only one shirt ?

  • Why does Sour Cream have an expiration date ?

  • also Why do croutons have an expiration date ? - Wouldn't they just get better ?

  • If Teflon is supposed to be non-stick, how do they get it to stay attached to the pan ?

  • Would a blind tourist use a sightseeing eye dog ?

  • Why does Santa Claus work only one night a year ?

  • Why is the word dyslexia so hard to read ?

  • Do elves really wear those shoes with the curling tips ?

  • Is there another word for synonym ?

  • If you wear a sheet for Halloween are you a ghost or a mattress ?

  • Do police sketch artists start out by drawing chalk outlines ?

  • Why don't they just make food stamps edible ?

  • Would they invent fireproof matches ?

  • Should a mute be yelled at for talking with their hands full ?

  • Would they invent a solar powered flashlight?

  • Do you think it is illegal to yell "Theatre" in a crowded fire ?

  • After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting OUT of the water ?

  • When it rains, do cotton fields shrink ?

  • Do chickens think rubber humans are funny ?

  • Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways ?

  • Do cannibals get hungry one hour after eating a Chinaman ?

  • Why do you need a driver's license to buy alcohol when you can't drink and drive?

  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

  • Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?

  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

  • Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical solutions?

  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

  • If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

  • * If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

  • If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

  • You know how most packages say, "Open Here" ? What is the protocol if the package says, "Open Somewhere Else" ?

  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

  • Have you ever considered photocopying a dime?

     

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