My Opinion of Match dot Com

Last Updated 18-Jan-2004

I foolishly signed up on match dot com without checking it out first. I'm putting this page up in the hope that I can save someone else the $45 or whatever it was they got from me.

Now obviously lots of people like match dot com. I know married people who met on match dot com. But match dot com and Dan Winker are just a terrible match. I suppose I'm a little odd. I like being a little odd. I have a profile on a different personals site where the "What I'm Looking For" section includes "world peace" and "a ride in a flying saucer". When I first looked at match dot com all the profiles seemed the same and just screamed "Hey everybody! Let's all go to the mall for a vanilla milkshake!" I should have hung up the modem right then. Instead I thought all these people who signed up here can't be wrong. In my opinion match dot com is "slick". It's shiny and the front pages have pictures of lots of happy people on them. After I put in my amex number and started making a profile it started to dawn on me why all the profiles on match dot com seem the same. There's a "profile coach" or something like that to help you fill out your profile. That raised an eyebrow. Since I like being a little odd I skipped the "profile coach". I later learned a bigger reason they all seem the same.

I filled out my profile and uploaded a few pictures which I have put here. I did include height="320" attributes in the html here, so they appear resized. Click on a picture if you want to see it in actual size. Personals sites automatically size photos that you upload, so you typically don't have to pay much attention to the size of photo you're uploading. Match dot com is typical (and good) in that sense.
They liked this one. They put it up just like I wanted.	If you click around a bit you can see the whole picture on match dot com, but at first it looks a lot another headshot.	This is the actual size I uploaded the first time. It got rejected for one of several reasons, but I don't know which.	This one is bigger and clearer. It got no response at all.
Here's what those look like if you look me up on match dot com:
	If you dig around you can eventually click on the tractor picture and see the whole picture. But, the first impression is certainly that I uploaded two headshots and don't have a tractor.	This one was explicitly rejected.	This one just disappeared without a trace.

I don't know why they won't let me put up the picture of the motorcycle. When they reject pictures they send you a form letter email that lists the 4 or 5 basic reasons they might reject pictures. There's also some guidelines on the web site about what's allowed. The reason I uploaded the second picture of the motorcycle is because I thought maybe the first one was to little, since one of the guidelines for photos is that they can be rejected for being to small.

I had the same basic problem with the text of my profile. The first time I submitted it it was accepted the next day, but when I tweaked it a little it was rejected and I got a form email stating the 4 or 5 reasons it might have been rejected. That, I think, is the bigger reason all the profiles on match dot com seem the same - since they won't tell you precisely why they rejected your profile your only choice is to try to make it more like the other profiles that have been accepted.

The conspiracy theorist in me thinks maybe the reason they seem to homogenize all the profiles is the same reason Mars Incorporated wants all Snickers bars to look the same. It's marketing. People are comfortable with a certain product being a certain way. Say there's some woman thinking she might sign up on a personals site. She does a sample search for men in her area. If one she likes shows up in her sample search she can put in her credit card number right there and contact him. The personals site certainly doesn't want her to be offended in any way. It seems hard to believe, but the only explanation I can think of to reject the motorcycle picture (twice) is because it might chase away potential paying customers. Since all I got was a form letter email about the first one being rejected I don't know why it actually was rejected, and I can't make any adjustments. The second time I tried I didn't even get a form letter. Maybe they figured the first form letter should cover it.

When I had similar frustration after tweaking the text of my profile. I looked for a phone number for "Customer Care", but couldn't find one. (Later they emailed me a phone number and they said it's on the web site under "Contact Us". It may be. I haven't gone back and looked again). So, I sent them an email saying I thought we were a bad match and they should give me back my $45 or whatever it was and we could just part ways and be done with it. I also told them if they didn't give me my $45 back I would tell my side of the story to anyone who seemed interested. They emailed me back saying my profile had been approved and wished me luck in my search.

Now, in their defense I must say there's a statement on their web site that says you have three days to ask for your money back. It was two days from the time I signed up until the motorcycle picture was rejected the first time. It was probably about five days into it when they got around to rejecting the profile, and that was what made me realize me and match dot com were a bad match. It was also at about 5 days that I uploaded the picture of the motorcycle the second time and just got no response at all.

I used the phone number they gave me and spent about 20 minutes on the phone explaining the situation to them. I probably spent 12 minutes on hold, 5 minutes talking to "Angel", and 2 minutes talking to "Vito" or something like that. I'd like to apologize to Vito for the profanity I ended the call with. Anyway, they're sticking to the 3 day policy. So, I'm telling my side of the story to anyone who's interested.

Caveat Emptor.

Check Out Winker's Home Page
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