Rules of Debaucheryball

**As with any game, there is no point in keeping score unless there are some rules. Make up your own.**

If you’re not imaginative enough to think up a better version of a game that’s been played since before Adam and Eve were born, then here are a few to get you started.

DON’T CLING TO THEM TOO TIGHTLY.

The Teams
Any number of players can participate, four balls maximum per team, eight balls maximum per game. More than eight balls, when beer is involved, can get really, really confusing after a couple hours, especially when you’re trying to remember all the ridiculous rules everyone’s made up. D-ball is best played with four teams: four people throwing two balls each. The next-best configuration is two teams: four people throwing two balls each but playing as partners. Games with more than four players or eight balls can get a little unwieldy. When teams throw two balls each, play to 15 points. When teams throw four balls each, play to 21 points. Teams must win by two points.	Four teams of two people: 15 points Two teams of four people: 21 points Two teams of one person: 21 points When two balls can score: 15 points When four balls can score: 21 points
	It’s not so unusual for a losing player on the comeback trail to make a rule that pushes the game to 30 or 40 points. It may seem like cheating, it may really seem like cheating, but it ain't.
The Play Generally, three games are played, two out of three wins. But on a day with nothing else to do, two out of three rapidly becomes three out of five (provided there’s plenty of beer) and that rapidly becomes four of seven, five of nine, etc. The home team throws the first object ball. If there’s no “home” team, flip a coin (or roll some bones) to decide who throws it first. On this and all other turns, whichever team throws the object ball throws the first bocce ball. Whichever team wins the point(s) for the turn throws the object ball for the next turn. Other than alternating teams, order of throwing doesn’t matter.
The object is to throw your balls as close to the jack as possible. They can be lobbed, rolled, or blasted off another ball or tree or car door. Each player throws one ball at a time, in turn, alternating teams.	Warn new players, and discourage those who think it's really fun to throw the pallino as far as they possibly can. This turns into a strongman contest where whoever can throw it the farthest winds up getting the point. That's boring. And it makes you feel like a sissy girlie man because you can't throw it so far.
	Another warning: hard liquor usually takes all the fun out of debaucheryball. Stick to beer, preferably “macro” brew in readily crushable cans (not as easily broken by a well-intended-but-poorly-thrown pallino as glass bottles are) and don’t forget the can coolies. A rousing game played by four good friends quickly turned ugly when the rum punch ran out and they reverted to straight, cold vodka. Your mileage might vary.
The only real rule with any D-ball game is that you throw your balls as close to the pallino as possible. Everything else is up to you, or “house rules.” As in horseshoes, only the closest team scores. The closest ball gets a point. All other balls of the same team, closer than all those of the other team, score a point. “Leaners” are worth two points.>>> More Rules	If a player hits the object ball with their ball on their throw, an extra point is awarded instantaneously. Instantaneously, meaning you don’t have to wait for everybody else to throw and then count up points. Many a game have been won by a ballsy throw straight at the jack. Otherwise, points are awarded at the end of each round.
Sometimes you'll need to measure. Anything--sticks, feet, tapes, strings, will work. Sometimes it's best to make a rule that says, "no measuring, eyeballs only." Humankind has decided that two out of three of anything is a winner, so that’s what goes here. Your typical debaucheryball match is three games, whoever wins more is the winner. Good D-ball RARELY stops at three games. Sportsmanship There is absolutely NO arguing or whining about any rule. "Fair" rules should be agreed upon by all players. Again, the trick is to be reasonable. It’s all in fun anyway, it’s all to pass the time drinking beer.
Bitchy-ball players can go start their own game somewhere else. Occasional cheating is the norm, so no bitching about that either. Just get ‘em back when they’re not looking. >>>	Cheating (such as kicking an opponent’s ball into a pile of dogshit when he or she is not looking) is acceptable, as long as you don’t get caught. It’s part of the game. If you’re caught, you are required to fess up, replace the ball (clean it if necessary), and your next throw doesn’t count. You still have to throw it, but it don’t count. Important note about breaking rules: if you break one, your NEXT throw doesn’t count. The throw you broke the rule with DOES count. Just like good writing and good religion, you have to know when to break the rules….
The Fair Rule
When a team scores three times in a row (three consecutive turns) that team is allowed to make up a new rule. A new (fair) rule is defined as one that affects each player exactly the same, or one that all the players agree is fair. The purpose is to make the game more complicated and more challenging, or simply more annoying. Any standard fair rule is fair, regardless of what some loser who you barely know but your friend brought thinks. There are some rules which come up in debaucheryball again and again, and history says, “Live with it.” Some societies, the more advanced of the primitive societies, start their games with several fair rules and go from there. While there is no limit to the number of fair rules allowed, more than three can become somewhat confusing. It’s a good idea, when creating a fourth rule, to make sure it negates an existing rule.	If you look closely, you can see the jack about 10 feet from the end of the table.


You can't see the pallino because the sound it made when it hit the water sounded like food to the sand rays in Belize.	Locals in strange places can make for good gamesmanship. "Lion" (Ian), a native Belizian bartender, learns the ropes.	It's fun to put your friends into compromising positions. Here, Karl is buried ass-deep in some south Minneapolis landscaping.

Unfair Rule

When a team scores four times in a row (scores again after just making a rule), that team is allowed to make an unfair rule.

An unfair rule is defined as one that affects only one person—not an entire team. The idea is to single out and pick on one person, you know, to build their character and sportsmanship or make them look like a complete tool. This is a great way of getting back at the guy who drew all over you with magic marker the last time you passed out at a party.

Unfair rules can be a lot of fun, but they can get out of hand. Be prepared for a war if you pick on someone too hard. The unfair rules listed elsewhere are only suggestions.

There is no limit to the number of unfair rules.

Rule Count:
After an unfair rule is made, the rule count starts over. A team would need to score three more times to make another fair rule, four more for an unfair rule, etc.

Breaking a Rule

Leaners

If a player breaks a rule in any way, knowingly or unknowingly, and anyone notices, that player’s next throw doesn’t count. You’re required to throw it, it just don’t count.

(The ball thrown that actually broke the rule DOES count.)

To determine if a ball is really a leaner, you have to “knock” the object ball into the bocce ball—like you’d knock on a door. If the balls make a clicking sound, it ain’t a leaner.

Hitting the Object Ball:
At least two players from any team have to either hear the balls click or see the object ball move for a point to be awarded.

Game-Winning Rule:
When a team wins a game, that team has the option to unmake any fair rule and make one of their own.

Unmaking Rules
Any fair rule can be used to unmake or overpower another fair rule. If there are conflicting rules, the preference is given to the one most recently made. Any unfair rule can be used to unmake an unfair rule.	Fair and unfair rules remain in effect until either unmade or the match (three games) is over. Rules carry over from one game to the next during a match.

Special thanks to the uninhibited (and presumably very suggestible) ladies of Alpha Kappa Phi for unwitting contribution to Debaucheryball Dot Org.

Send us your photos and stories! Contact Pat at ridesmart <at> gmail <dot> com. Thinking of starting a league? So are we. Let us know.

Click here for rules and glossary courtesy the boys of BocceBowl.

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Last Updated November 2006